Quatermass' Compost Heap
by Quatermass
Summary: Welcome to Quatermass' Compost Heap, a compilation of fics abandoned and archived, along with new fics yet to come...
1. Foreword

**FOREWORD**

Having had some small success with _The Cauldron_ , a collection of Harry Potter crossovers in either initial chapters, or else stories I've abandoned, and other such repositories for the Nasuverse and _Naruto_ , I thought I'd do a general crossover or fics compilation for miscellaneous franchises.

These stories are basically a variety of both pure and crossover stories. It will also become a repository of stories I have had to abandon and archive.

One thing I must emphasise here is that I will not be putting any of these stories up for adoption. I am saying this right here, right now, so that I don't get any reviews or PMs asking for that. Part of this is that, archived abandoned fics aside, I have first refusal on turning these into full stories. Please do not ask to adopt these, as refusal will offend. I will get annoyed if people do not read this notice, or else ignore it. I will reiterate it for emphasis: **NONE OF THESE STORIES ARE UP FOR ADOPTION. DO NOT ASK ME. IF I BITE YOUR HEAD OFF FOR ASKING, IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT**.

Also, if you want to review a particular story, please point this out in your review. In other words, name the story. This goes especial if you want to see a non-abandoned story get published: I want to know which ones tickle your fancy.

Now that that's out of the way, time for my disclaimers. Firstly, because the ratings of these sample chapters are variable, this one is rated M to be safe. Sexual references, violence, and crude language abound, along with possible disturbing themes.

Secondly, there will be annotations, as is usual for my works. Do not gripe to me about them.

Thirdly, there may be spoilers for various franchises. You have been warned.

Finally, the following is a fan-written work. The various franchises with fics and crossovers are the properties of their respective owners. Please support the official release. Otherwise, something unpleasant will happen to you that I can't be arsed writing about...


	2. Dura Mater Prologue

**This is the first of the fics I am archiving here, and like many, it falls under the banner of being a good idea at the time. I wanted to do the first marked crossover between _Metal Gear_ and _Silent Hill_ , two of Konami's most famous game franchises. Sadly, while a good idea, my motivation ran out. It would have been set around the time when Alessa was first burned by her mother, as well as some time before the events of _Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain_. It would also have featured a young Otacon and Solid Snake, along with an eventual pairing of Strangelove and Quiet, who is called Minerva/Atropos in this story.**

* * *

 _ **DURA MATER**_

 **PROLOGUE:**

 **MOTHER BASE**

 _1984, the Seychelles…_

It wasn't a place for children by any stretch of the imagination, a vast, imposing structure of metal standing in the middle of the ocean, filled with soldiers, busying themselves with the minutiae of running an army. Training, equipment maintenance, R&D, stuff like that.

And yet, a boy with brown hair and glasses, and a girl with dark hair and in a blue dress, were not only present, but at play, playing hopscotch on crudely chalked squares. Many watchful eyes were on them, though the man currently watching them closest, a grizzled blond man with an artificial leg, a missing arm, and a cane watched on, smiling despite himself. It had been the first time in a long time that he was smiling so readily.

"Quite fascinating," an ancient Native American murmured in an oddly ominous rasp of a voice as he watched (despite his milky white eyes) the two children at play from a nearby table as he made notes, sitting in a wheelchair.

"What is?" a pale-skinned woman with silvery hair cut rather short asked, seated at the same table, her voice having a distinct British accent. She wore trousers, a white shirt, and dark waistcoat, looking vaguely like some government official who had removed a suit jacket. She wore sunglasses, and currently kept under the shade of an umbrella covering the table.

"Your adoptive daughter. You said she was nearly burned to death, and you gave her 'the one that covers'. My experimental hybrid version. Which is also something of a relief: if she did breathe through cutaneous means rather than reconstructed lungs, then it would mean she would need to expose far more skin than is decent for a girl her age(1)," the old man said.

"That is good," the woman said, her expression hardening at such a thought. "It was the Sorrow who directed me to that vial."

"I have never had the courage to test it, given that there were indications it may well have been lethal, and to be frank, I think my former employer might not have thought it worth the risk," the old man said. "Are you sure he is dead?"

"I cannot be sure. It was hard to be sure of anything in that damned town. For some time, I cursed the Sorrow for sending us there. But then, if it weren't for his prompting, I may have died, according to him. And I certainly would not have found three more people to love. A daughter and another son to cherish and love as much as my biological son…and a woman I would be glad to spend the rest of my days with."

"Dr Strangelove," the old man said with a gentle smile, "you are certainly more fortunate than many souls on this base."

 **DOCTOR STRANGELOVE**

 **A Queen of Ice, Hiding a Strong Heart**

"I know. Most people would look askance at me, Code Talker, for allowing children into a place like this." She looked around at the new Mother Base, to replace the one destroyed in the Caribbean. "But after that town, I believe that the horrors of war would be pedestrian by comparison. Not to mention instructive. I do not want Hal to follow me into making tools of war, nor do I wish for him to become a soldier. In addition, this would probably be one of the safest places in the world."

Code Talker, the old man, merely continued smiling. "I would not accuse you of being a bad mother, Dr Strangelove. Merely an unconventional one."

 **CODE TALKER**

 **A Man of Wisdom and Learning, Denied His Heritage**

It was at that moment that the blonde-haired man began leading the two children back to their mother. He had a weary smile on his face, as did the two children. "I'm getting too old for this," the man grumbled.

"Miller, you're nearly a decade my junior," Strangelove said in a mild rebuke, albeit with a smile. "Can't you keep up with my children?"

 **KAZUHIRA MILLER**

 **A Broken Visionary, Nearly Consumed By Vengeance**

Miller snorted. "It's hard when you've got bits missing, and in any case, you don't look your age. And children can be so energetic." His face fell, thinking of the child soldiers that they had found in Africa, and their belligerent leader, Eli. Strangelove could see the thoughts on his face. _And they can be so cruel_ , he was thinking.

"Well, if I ever found out that it was you who gave my son a Gundam figure, I will be seeing how fast you can run," Strangelove threatened, in a facetious way.

"Aw, but Mum, Gundams are cool!" her son protested.

 **HAL STRANGELOVE**

 **A Child of Science, Pure of Heart**

Strangelove resisted the urge to facepalm. Her son was very much like his biological father…the sperm donor, she thought of Dr Emmerich as. She had once thought of Huey as a friend, but over time, she began to see what sort of man he was, at least once they worked for XOF, and Skull Face. She had only seduced Huey so that she may have a child with her genes, and one she could pass the memetic legacy of the Boss, the woman she had loved, on. It was only thanks to the Boss' own lover, the Sorrow, that she had survived this, an irony she found herself chuckling at.

If Hal did follow his father into robotics, Strangelove intended to guide him into creating robots that would benefit mankind, or else apply robotics technology to medicine, refining artificial limbs, creating the best of cybernetics. The Boss wanted a world united by peace, not war, the barriers to said peace broken down by action and technology. It would never come around in Strangelove's lifetime, nor would it be in Hal's. It may never come to be. But anything that brought them closer to the Boss' dream delighted Strangelove.

"Where's your big brother, Hal?" Strangelove asked.

"I can answer that," Miller said. "Pequod offered to take him on a short flight around Mother Base. Don't worry, Pequod would rather die than allow him to come to any harm."

"Where's Minny?" Hal asked.

"Ocelot and Snake are still talking to her, Hal, darling," Strangelove said, the term of endearment sounding a little awkward in her mouth. "She used to work for very bad people, remember? As did your mother and…father."

At the reminder of his father, Hal began to sniffle, tears welling up behind his glasses.

Then, a voice said, albeit in a kind tone, "Don't cry, kid. Big boys don't cry."

Strangelove turned to see the speaker, a forty year-old man with longish hair and a moustache, dressed vaguely like a cowboy. Next to him was a stern, hard-faced man with brown hair (just starting to get the slightest flecks of grey), a beard, and an eyepatch. His face was peppered with scars, and a lump of black shrapnel poked from his head, making him look vaguely demonic. Despite all that, the look he was giving the children was a paternal one.

The woman they were escorting was now dressed in a simple khaki shirt and combat trousers. She was beautiful, shoulder-length brown hair, and with green eyes, and she looked more like a model than a soldier. But she was also one of the most lethal operatives in the world, and anyone who underestimated her ended up dead. You could see it in her expression, always watchful, and even as it softened with affection upon seeing Hal and Strangelove, it still had a hardness within. She was beautiful like a diamond was, hard and brilliant.

"We've finished our debriefing of former XOF Operative Atropos(2), who has now adopted the codename Minerva(3)," the would-be cowboy said, smiling warmly.

 **OCELOT**

 **Loyal to Big Boss, to the Bitter End**

The scarred, bearded man nodded. "As of today, Minerva is a member of the Diamond Dogs."

 **VENOM SNAKE, AKA BIG BOSS**

 **An Ahab Searching for the Whale**

"Yay! Minnie's fine!" Hal chirped. He ran forward, and embraced a woman he considered his second mother.

"Easy there, Hal," the woman called Minerva said quietly, running her fingers through his hair affectionately as she smiled warmly. "Did you have any doubt?"

 **MINERVA**

 **Often Quiet, Never Mute**

"They were so mean to you when you first came here," Hal said, pouting. "So mean to you and Mum."

For a moment, there was silence. Then, Ocelot roared with laughter, while Big Boss and Miller looked bemused at being rebuked by a young boy. "Well, it could be worse," Miller said.

"How?" Big Boss asked.

"He could be like Eli."

"True," Big Boss conceded with a shrug.

Ocelot then proceeded to ruin the mood by singing…

 _Who's the cutest soldier on this base that you will see?_

 _M-I-N, N-I-E, M-O-U-S-E!_

 _Minnie Mouse, Minnie Mouse,_

 _Never shall her figure be surpassed!(_ _4)_

Big Boss, Miller, and even Hal burst out laughing. Even Code Talker looked amused, though neither Strangelove nor Minerva shared that look.

* * *

Big Boss stared at the tape player as it finished playing its message in his quarters. Strangelove was nearby, along with Miller and Ocelot, with Minerva opting to look after the children. "…So Zero…I know you told us about what he wanted, with the AIs, but…he wanted to offer an olive branch…"

Strangelove nodded. "I know for a fact that he visited you in the Cyprus hospital. This was not long before he would have permanently become a vegetable. Unfortunately, what he has started cannot be easily stopped. XOF is still active, even if Skull Face is dead, or lost in that town. And his Patriots now exist as AIs, in a secret location. I'm not even sure if Dr Clarke or Mr Anderson know of their existence(5)."

"I had an idea. By the way, I need to have a copy of that tape," Ocelot said, plucking it from the player. "There's someone who needs to hear it."

"EVA?" Big Boss asked.

Ocelot nodded(6). "I…knew that Zero wanted to reconcile. But…"

"He asked me to record his words to you," Strangelove said to Big Boss. "He then said, should I ever meet you again, then I was to give it to you. Of course, given that you and your favourite medic were in that hospital and Mother Base at the bottom of the Caribbean, I didn't have much hope, especially after I was recruited by Skull Face."

Ocelot nodded, before leaving. Miller looked at Strangelove, before asking, "You told us something of what happened, and I find it hard to believe."

"Miller, you are far from the only one," Strangelove said. "I find it hard to believe that what I saw in that town was anything other than delusion and delirium. It was a place both sacred and diabolical. A place where your worst fears come to life. I am a scientist, first and foremost, and know that everything in the world has some sort of explanation. But that town…it takes reason, and gleefully shreds it like a child ripping up paper, scattering the detritus to the wind."

The door opened, and Ocelot led a girl in a blue dress in. Dark-haired, and rather solemn for her age, she came in. "This one wanted to see you again, Doctor. Your other 'son' came back from his helicopter ride, and he's gushing to Hal. I think she just wants to be with you for the moment."

The girl nodded. "Mother...you were talking about that town again, weren't you?"

"Yes, but you don't need to be here for it, Alessa, not if it gives you scary thoughts."

 **ALESSA STRANGELOVE**

 **A Dark Phoenix Who Has Risen From Ashes**

"It was my home, Mother. I spent seven years of my life there. It was the place of my rebirth. It was where you, my true mother, rescued me." Alessa Strangelove, born under the name of Alessa Gillespie, looked at the others. "I know what you think of me. You fear me, but at least you do not hate me for what I am. You want me to live a normal life, one I may never have. You even try to be nice to me and my brothers. But I was born in the darkness. The town I was born in may not look like an evil place, and for the most part, it isn't. But when the fog blankets the town, the darkness reaches out, corrupting and twisting the town into a grotesque parody of itself, often born of the fears and perversity within their hearts and souls."

After a brief pause, Ocelot remarked, "You speak pretty well for a girl who's only, what? Eight, wasn't it?"

"My education was unorthodox, but I liked reading a lot," Alessa said. "But this town…it's alive. Malevolent, even. This is a battlefield none of you would not want to encounter." She looked at them all. "But it was my home. My hometown…Silent Hill."

 **PROLOGUE ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Now, as some of you will be complaining, I've started at the** ** _end_** **of the story, rather than the** ** _beginning_** **. To those who are complaining, I say this: put up with it. This is my story, and I decide how it is told. I believe a story is in the telling and the journey, not in the ending.**

 **For those of you who are enjoying it so far, but are wondering where the horror is, be patient. There's at least another chapter to go before the horror begins.**

 **Now, for those of you wondering, yes, Atropos/Minerva IS Quiet (and she does seem to have short hair when she goes to kill Snake in the Cyprus hospital). I will be exploring her character in-depth in this story, as she never got flambéed and given the 'one which covers' parasite. Given that she is something of a blank slate in the game, I thought I might give her some more character, starting from the next chapter, which will take place in 1983.**

 **Oh, and those sort of 'character splash' captions I'm doing, almost** ** _Borderlands_** **style? I was inspired by the captions from one of the trailers for** ** _The Phantom Pain_** **.**

 **1\. I originally wanted Alessa to have the same parasite that Quiet does in the game (after all, Alessa suffered a similar fate), but then I remembered that Quiet had as little clothing on her body as possible to allow herself to breathe through her skin. And given that Alessa is seven years old when she gets burnt alive, well, I am sure you can spot the obvious problem with that. I decided to write in a hybrid, something that was wholly experimental and potentially lethal, but could give the benefits of Quiet's parasite (as well as the one Code Talker has), without the potentially unfortunate side-effect. I can't believe I was that stupid! Gah! Anyway, the parasite has effectively rejuvenated, possibly even replaced Alessa's lungs, but she still needs sunlight and water.**

 **2\. I originally wanted to call my version of Quiet 'Cailleach', whom I believed to be a Celtic war goddess. But Cailleach wasn't a war goddess (though she is a destruction deity), and Morrigan and Nemesis seemed well-used already. I decided on one of the three Fates, namely Atropos, who was said to cut the thread of life when someone dies. It's a fitting name for an assassin.**

 **3\. Minerva is the Roman equivalent of Athena, of course, the Greek goddess of wisdom and war.**

 **4\. Obviously, Ocelot's taking the Mickey out of the** ** _Mickey Mouse Club March_** **.**

 **5\. I don't know if Strangelove was aware of who the other Patriots were, so I'm writing it in here that she is (thanks to her working with Zero on his Patriots A.I). I also don't know whether Clarke/Para-Medic or Anderson/SIGINT knew of the either, so I've left it a little ambiguous.**

 **6\. Actually, Ocelot intends to get a copy to the 'real' Big Boss, as the one who you play as in** ** _The Phantom Pain_** **is a body double. Whoops, did I spoil the game? Well, I did warn you in my foreword. That's your own damned fault if you don't like me spoiling it. Anyway, Ocelot does intend to get a copy to EVA, but it was the 'real' Big Boss he meant.**


	3. Dura Mater Chapter 1

_**DURA MATER**_

 **CHAPTER 1:**

 **CONVERGENCE**

 _XOF facility, location unknown, a few months prior…_

In the world of black-ops, strange and exotic sobriquets were the norm. Sometimes, they seemed to be pulled out of the very air itself. Other times, they were frighteningly apposite.

Take the man known to the world at large (where he was known, anyway) as Skull Face. The commanding officer of XOF had a face that resembled a skull (of course), albeit a skull covered in sometimes smooth, sometimes wrinkled masses of bluish-grey tissue. His mouth was unnaturally wide, his nose flat and warped, it was impossible to tell what his ethnicity or home country was (he was of Hungarian extraction, not that he told this to many: his past was an unhappy memory), and for reasons only known to himself, of late, he wore a domino mask over his eyes. Given how distinctive his face (or rather, lack thereof) was, it seemed like an exercise in futility if the mask was to conceal his identity or his burns.

However, the domino mask was concealing something else entirely.

 **SKULL FACE**

 **A Ghost Whose Past Was Burnt Away**

Not that was relevant at all to the matter at hand. A small but immensely irritating crisis had spiralled out of control, and he needed to resolve it, lest his plan fall apart because of that idiot Emmerich's foolhardiness.

A knock on the door signalled the arrival of one of his top agents. He put the file he was studying back on the desk, and then said, "Come in."

A woman strode in, with short brown hair and green eyes. Utterly beautiful, even without makeup. It was a hard beauty, but even so, she looked more like a model than military. Only her bearing and her hard expression told otherwise. Her true name was lost to history, present only on a few files, including one Skull Face possessed. Her life's history was known only to a select few, including herself. However, Skull Face, and most of the XOF personnel who had any reason to interact with her, knew her as Atropos, after the Fate who severed the thread of a mortal's life.

 **ATROPOS**

 **A Quiet Cutter of the Thread of Life**

She stood at attention. Skull Face took a moment to look at her beauty, something he envied. With his injuries, it was hard to even buy the services of a woman, let alone seduce one. Amongst his few conquests were female prisoners he had raped, including Pacifica Ocean, aka Paz Ortega Andrade. He wouldn't attempt anything of the sort with Atropos, not out of any principle, but out of pragmatism. She was a valuable asset, and any attempt to exploit that would lose him her services, if not lead her to betray him outright. A brief fantasy played out in his head regardless, though, to be savoured later at leisure in private. Right now, he was all business.

"Atropos, we have something of a crisis on our hands. You are aware that Dr Emmerich has left us?"

The woman nodded.

"Very well. Are you aware of the circumstances that precipitated this course of action?"

"Not fully, sir," Atropos said in her quiet voice, English with a faint accent. He knew she was Dutch in origin(1), and had once been one of the BVD's(2) top wetwork people (despite her relatively young age) until she joined XOF a few months ago, having become dissatisfied with the politics of the job.

"Very well. It seems that Dr Strangelove had acquired some annoying qualms about her work. I believe it is something to do with the child she had with Dr Emmerich. Maternal feelings are inconvenient in a world like ours. Of course, her work was still exemplary, until she argued with Emmerich on using her son as a test pilot for our Metal Gear project. The current design can only be controlled by a child, unless we use the A.I system, or remote control. Strangelove fled a few months ago, and because her work was done on Metal Gear Sahelanthropus, we haven't stepped her status up that much. We searched for her, but as long as she kept her head down and didn't try contacting her old friends in the MSF, I can wait. That being said, one of Code Talker's experimental hybrids has gone missing at about the same time, we found after we conducted an audit. But Emmerich's work and attitude has become ever more erratic. He's left our organisation too, while I was busy attending to other matters, and these imbeciles let him leave, his work still incomplete. He's obsessed with bringing his wife and son back to him, or at least his son. I think he intends to kill Strangelove."

"Retrieval then. Alive, I presume," Atropos said. "What of Strangelove and their child?"

"If the boy can be used as leverage towards Dr Emmerich, keep him alive. But Strangelove has outlived her purpose. She is in love with a woman long dead and vilified as a traitor. Strangelove has proved a traitor to my cause, though I have to commend her for being able to evade my security and my searches. However, Dr Emmerich, once he got back to America, has not been so subtle, and I think he is leading us to her. Indeed, I believe that he may have found her."

"Where does he think Strangelove and the boy are?"

"An obscure resort town in Maine(3), known as Silent Hill. I doubt you will have heard of it: I never have until I heard where Emmerich was heading. Then again, I am sure that one of Cipher's little assets lives nearby, in a town called Brahms. It may be coincidence, but I have heard that said asset has disappeared. You and I are heading there, along with a small squad of covert operatives."

"What about the operation to eliminate Big Boss?" Atropos asked.

"The original operation was that I send you in to kill him. Should things go awry, I would have sent in our troops and blame it on the Soviets. Apparently a couple of their more destructive assets are heading there, and we can claim that the Soviets tried to cover up their tracks(4). I'm sending Thanatos in. Big Boss is a spent force, he's been in a coma for years. And if by some miracle he does make it out alive, then we will have concluded our business by then, and we can eliminate him." Skull Face smiled. Well, given the scarring on his face, he had little choice but to do so. But he smiled a little wider and deeper, a disturbing look on his grotesque face. "I'm coming personally to oversee the operation, but also to see if we can subvert Cipher's asset."

Well, he was stretching the truth a little. Technically, he didn't need to be in the field. But besides his stated reasons, and the enjoyment he would get out of personal revenge against Strangelove and Emmerich for fouling things up (he wasn't going to kill Emmerich, but for putting him to this trouble, he was probably going to push him down some stairs at the very least(5)), there was something…odd about this town, Silent Hill. It had piqued his interest. It was as if the name called to him.

"Understood," Atropos said. And that was what was great about her. She did understand her role in things. She knew how to balance initiative with obeying orders.

* * *

" _You see, if someone who knew the future pointed out a child to you, and told you that that child would grow up totally evil, to be a ruthless dictator who would destroy millions of lives…could you then kill that child?_ "

"Yes, you idiot!" Doctor 'Huey' Emmerich snarled at the screen angrily. "Put those fucking wires together! Blow those mobile garbage cans to hell!"

 **DOCTOR 'HUEY' EMMERICH**

 **Abundant in Intelligence, Lacks Moral Fibre**

But no, that long-scarfed, bulging eyed imbecile dithered. Huey snarled in annoyance. Just when he thought he got one of the few good shows on PBS while sitting in this crappy motel room, it went downhill within minutes of starting. He hadn't seen that many episodes of _Doctor Who_ , but what few he had seen, he had enjoyed to some degree or another. But this one was just plain stupid(6).

He watched the rest of the episode half-heartedly, snorting with disdain when he first saw Davros, the creator of the Daleks. What was with the entertainment industry and crippled geniuses creating weapons of mass destruction? He emitted a slight chuckle when he remembered discussing _Dr Strangelove_ , the Stanley Kubrick film, with Strangelove herself. She had told him, utterly deadpan, that she was torn between hunting him down and killing him, or else letting him continue making his films, as she had enjoyed a few of them. Indeed, they had a mutual interest in _2001: A Space Odyssey_.

Then again, it seemed that that was one of the few things they had in common.

Huey scowled as that occurred to him. He thought that they had had something, that he had broken through her cold shell. But in truth, that icy bitch had used him. Used him, a cripple! All to have a child that she said, in the grip of delusion, would be that of the Boss! That traitorous harridan had been dead for two decades now! If she wanted a child so damned badly, why not get artificially inseminated like cattle? Why string him along? Why treat him as a disposable commodity? He was a genius, and his seed was at the top of the line! She should have _paid_ him to have his child!

And now, she had stolen Hal from him. _His_ child. The test-pilot for Metal Gear Sahelanthropus. Taken him, and fled to the United States. Traitorous hag. Like everyone else, she looked down upon him. Because he was a cripple, because he couldn't walk.

Well, not until now, anyway. He did have to remove his leg braces in public so that he could remain less conspicuous, instead hiring a wheelchair (how humiliating!). He was now in a cheap motel in Brahms. And he was planning the death of the woman he had considered his wife.

Although now that he came to think about it, he wasn't sure why that weird ghost with the red eyes (who calls themselves the Sorrow, anyway?) told him. Or how that ghost knew. Or why the Sorrow would help him leave the XOF facility in Afghanistan. It was only thanks to the ghost that Huey had been able to evade a plethora of soldiers, surveillance, and customs.

It didn't matter, though. He was well on the path to revenge. His just, well-deserved revenge.

The _Doctor Who_ episode ended with the Doctor and his companions tumbling through time and space, the Doctor making some inane observation that even with the Daleks still in existence, some good would eventually come out of their evil. Huey snorted, even as the distinctive scream of the title music's introduction sounded, and the eerie wail of the title music began. He went over to the TV (having re-attached his leg braces while inside his room), and switched it off. That was a waste of time. Much like his relationship with Strangelove.

He went over to a bag beside his bed, and gently fished around within it, before plucking out a handgun. He grinned as he thought of the manifold ways he could use it to make Strangelove's life a living hell in the moments before her death. At the very least, he was going to make her understand what it was like to be unable to walk. To be crippled. To be _defenceless_. Maybe he would do that, and then kick her down some stairs, just like Hot Coldman did. Then again, that might kill her, and he wanted her suffering to be prolonged.

Yes. Her fate was calling out to him. It would be just, it would be painful, it would be right. He would have his son back. And everything would be right in the world.

* * *

And not so far away, in Silent Hill, a woman was making a decision about her own child. After an argument with her daughter, who stubbornly refused to lend her her power, Dahlia Gillespie had come to an epiphany. An epiphany that many would be horrified, but which she saw as necessity.

 **DAHLIA GILLESPIE**

 **Yearns to Bring Forth a Dark God At All Costs**

She didn't care that what she was about to do would make her daughter suffer. Suffering was necessary, in order to bring forth a paradise where there would be no more suffering. And her daughter would at last do her bidding.

An application of some drugs she obtained from Doctor Kaufmann, a spell or two, and a touch of applied arson, and she would soon achieve her goal. Soon, God would be reborn in this world…

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Okay, setting things up. I was wondering how Strangelove and Huey would have managed to escape XOF, and decided that the Sorrow helped them. Bit of a cop-out, but never mind about that.**

 **You'll notice that I've repeated the caption for Atropos and Minerva. I will do so for Hal, Strangelove, and Alessa in their introductions. None of the other characters seen in the prologue will make an appearance, though, at least those given captions. But there will be another Metal Gear character making an appearance as a key character. You've heard him alluded to in the chapters so far, but next chapter will be when he makes his first appearance.**

 **1\. Stefanie Joosten, the woman who provided the face, voice, and mo-cap for Quiet, is Dutch, though she speaks Japanese fluently, and can speak English quite well.**

 **2\. The BVD was, prior to 2002, the name of the Dutch Secret Service (BVD standing for 'Binnenlandse Veiligheidsdienst' or 'Domestic Security Service'). Whether they have assassins or not, I don't know, but considering that many intelligence agencies are coy on their black-ops and wetwork, it's plausible. Quiet's age is a little more problematic (I view her as being about 26 in the game), but I hopefully will work on that later in the story.**

 **3\. I heard that there are references in the game series to Silent Hill being in Maine, so I'm running with that here. It certainly seems appropriate, considering Maine seems to be a mainstay for Stephen King's works.**

 **4\. He's referring to Psycho Mantis and the Man on Fire.**

 **5\. A reference to what he actually does in the game, mirroring what Hot Coldman did to Huey.**

 **6\. Actually, this episode is part of one of the best** ** _Doctor Who_** **stories of all time:** ** _Genesis of the Daleks_** **.** ** _Genesis of the Daleks_** **, AFAIK, reached American shores in the late 70s, with some editing and some rather dubious narration by Howard da Silva.**


	4. Dura Mater Chapter 2

_**DURA MATER**_

 **CHAPTER 2:**

 **FLIGHT, FATHERHOOD, FRIENDSHIP, AND FIRE**

The boy sat at his makeshift campsite, listening to Johnny Cash singing about a burning ring of fire on a battered radio, and wondering whether that foreshadowed what was going to happen when he ate the MREs he had pilfered(1). About eleven or twelve, dressed in camouflage shirt and trousers with boots, and a bandanna, he had the bearing of a boy who was older. This image was enhanced by his smoking a cigarette, though his coughing and other signs pointed to the fact that he hadn't been smoking for very long. He had dark hair, and piercing blue eyes, like those of a wolf. Fit and muscular for his age, he was a mixture of a boy hardened by experience…and a boy, a boy who had wanted a childhood, but was never truly given one.

All of his life, he had been told he had to live up to his father's legacy. He wasn't told who his father was exactly, only that he was a great hero (though he had overheard someone calling him 'Jack'). Of course, once that nice British guy with the same name as him(2) (the boy was told to call him an uncle) disappeared, the boy found himself hating his life, and the foster families he was with, especially after he was moved from Oregon to Maine(3). The foster family here was worse than the ones he had been with in Oregon, and while he had run away from home a couple of times before, it was only now that he wanted to make it permanent.

He was surprisingly well-prepared for a child runaway, with his supplies and equipment being either military, or organised in a military manner. One would think that he had been trained. Which was actually the truth.

He was looking to hide out in the woods near Silent Hill for a while, before he could find somewhere else to live. A small part of him realised that he couldn't run for long. But he intended to give them as long a run as he could. And besides, he wanted to be part of a place where he wouldn't be constantly reminded of his hero father, where he could find his own path.

Suddenly, he heard a twig snap. He whirled to where he heard it, aiming a slingshot (a potentially lethal, top of the line one) at the intruder. He had half-expected a police officer or a park ranger. Not a boy about half his age, with glasses, a backpack, and a nervous expression. "Don't shoot!" the boy yelped, putting his hands above his head.

The older boy lowered his slingshot. "Are you alone?"

"I am now," the bespectacled boy said. Clearly, he had been crying.

The older boy merely grunted. "Another runaway, huh?" He put the slingshot away. "Figures. Though you don't look like the type who could survive very long in the wild."

"Can too!" the boy retorted, all bravado and no sense.

"Really? I know you have a backpack, but is that just full of food, or have you got a tent or sleeping bag somewhere? What about a first aid kit? Changes of clothes?"

"You're not my mother!" the glasses-wearing boy snapped. "I have no mother!"

"Join the club, kid," the older boy said, stubbing out his cigarette carefully, making sure not to set anything on fire. "That'll be five bucks for admission."

"…What?"

"I have no parents. My mother died in childbirth, and my father's off fighting the good fight, so they say," the older boy said, cynicism tinging his every syllable. "All I've had are some would-be parents, good and bad, and an old uncle who's probably dead. I've had enough of that. I want to find my own path." He peered at the glasses-wearing boy with his piercing blue eyes. "What's your name, kid?"

"I'm not a kid! I'm David!"

The older boy raised an eyebrow. "Really? My name is actually David."

 **DAVID**

 **A Boy Searching for a Solid Path to the Future**

The glasses-wearing boy sagged. "…Hal. Hal Emmerich. That's my real name. And yes, I know. My parents liked that film."

 **HAL EMMERICH**

 **Seeking Truth While Running From the Past**

David chuckled. "Not that there's much wrong with that, Hal."

"There's plenty wrong with my parents," Hal said, darkly. "My mother tells me lies about my Dad. Says he's a bad man."

David shrugged. "At least you've got them both alive."

"I wish I didn't," Hal muttered.

"Huh." David reached into his backpack, and took out one of the MREs, handing it to Hal. "Here. It's an MRE. Food." After a bit of thought, he added, "Theoretically."

* * *

Strangelove was beside herself with worry. Earlier this morning, she had had a bad argument with Hal over his father. Well, they were always bad arguments where Huey was concerned. While it was a bit much for a child to understand why they had to flee his father, he was still proving intractable. And now, she found that he had run away from school after it had been let out, without waiting for her to finish her work. She had hoped to find him at home, only to find that he had left a crudely-scrawled note that he must've left in his bedroom that morning. It said, ' _You hate daddy and me! Well, I hate you! Goodbye forever!_ '

How could he understand? He was already a prodigy in many areas, true, but he couldn't quite understand human nature. He had few friends at school, save for a couple of fellow outcasts, like the Gillespie girl, or Claudia Wolf(4). And even then, he had arguments with them because they were apparently quite religious, and one thing he did share with his mother was an agnosticism that was quite surprising, given his young age.

Actually, a small but significant chunk of the town seemed deeply religious. Strangelove was mildly perturbed, in fact. The Sorrow had directed her here, albeit after going on the run for long enough to enough destinations to try and confound any pursuers. And while she viewed religion and the religious with contempt, she nonetheless tried to respect people's beliefs. It was the fanatics she truly detested. And there was something about that small group of the townsfolk that screamed of fanaticism. Then again, Strangelove was sure that the dislike was mutual. She was a newcomer to the town after all.

Take Dahlia Gillespie, an antiques dealer and local eccentric. A single mother, raising her child alone. Admirable, considering that Strangelove was doing the same thing. But Dahlia made her uneasy. Especially after Dahlia, rather oddly, requested that her son stop approaching the other children, saying that he was a bad influence. And whatever failings Strangelove had as a mother, and whatever faults her son had, she knew that the worst influence her son would have would be in filling their minds with whatever cartoon had caught his eye lately, like that re-edited Japanese cartoon _Star Blazers_.

So she had polite but firmly refused, and asked Dahlia to cite times when her son was a bad influence, and why. Dahlia refused, saying that they involved private and personal matters, which Strangelove reckoned was rubbish. Dahlia's words suggested she held some influence over key people in the town, and while normally Strangelove would write that off as delusion, her co-workers at Midwich Elementary School suggested otherwise.

Here she was, Dr Strangelove, the leading expert on artificial intelligence in the world, reduced to teaching children about science. Then again, it was not a bad way to spend her time in hiding. Her credentials (as a teacher) were fake, but her results were not. Of course, she had to go under the alias of Dr Davina Bowman, while her son attended school as Harry Bowman. He had been quite sullen today.

In any case, despite Dahlia's insinuations, Alessa Gillespie occasionally visited their home, and a couple of the other teachers, like Kristina Gordon(5), also expressed concern about Alessa, though the authorities did nothing, citing a lack of evidence. Thankfully, the police seemed about as inclined to hold anything against Strangelove as they did against Dahlia Gillespie, a mixed blessing.

Strangelove actually liked Alessa, despite the bullying she seemed to endure from other kids. While pious, she was also curious and hungry for information, more than most of her peers. Many of the students called her a witch, a thief, carving nasty messages into her desk. She was glad her son was friends with her. Outcasts called to outcasts, it seemed, and Hal managed to work up the courage to defend her from bullies at times.

Once she realised that he had run away, Strangelove returned to Midwich, hoping that he might be there. No such luck. So she decided to head to the Gillespie house, on the off-chance that her son might be there. In the glovebox of the car, she had the parasite sample she had stolen, ready for when she would need it…

* * *

As David and Hal ate their meals, unappetising though they were, David contemplated what his new friend, so to speak, had told him. David was quite mature and perceptive for his age, and he knew that Hal's dispute with his mother wasn't truly that serious. Once Hal's temper had cooled, he'd want to go back home.

David knew he didn't want to go back, but he'd be dragged back regardless by the police. As dusk fell, his eye was drawn to a house visible just beyond the edge of the forest they were in. "Hey, Hal, d'you know whose house that is?"

Hal peered at the house, before nodding. "Yeah, that's the Gillespie house. My friend Alessa and her mother lives there. Kids at school call Alessa a witch, but I reckon her mother is. She even looks like one. A wicked old witch."

David nodded, before he frowned. Was that smoke coming from the house? Was that flame he could see? And not from a chimney or a bonfire. "Hal…is it me, or is the house on fire?"

"Huh?" Hal looked at the house, as plumes of black smoke began to belch from it. "What? Alessa!" He flung the mostly-eaten MRE away, and began haring down the hill. David, after a moment, got up and followed. He really didn't want to do this, as a fire would bring the emergency services, possibly the police. With a snarl, he packed up what he had unpacked, smothered the fire with soil, and pursued Hal.

* * *

When Hal made it to the house, just as he passed a bush, he found himself grabbed by a spidery hand. "Don't you dare!" hissed the hated voice of Dahlia Gillespie.

"Where's Alessa?" Hal demanded. "Where is she?"

"Dead. Dead in the fire you started, little boy!"

"But I didn't do it, you liar!"

"Nobody would believe you," Dahlia sneered. "You and your mother don't matter, not anymore. Now go to sleep, and soon, you'll be locked up in hospital, where you belong…"

As she made to push some sort of white powder into his mouth, Dahlia felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned to face a boy she didn't recognise, but Hal did. "Stay away from this boy, he's a dangerous pyromaniac!" Dahlia said.

"He's my friend," Dave said, probably lying, but he heard what Dahlia had said. With surprising strength for a boy his age, he hit her with a series of blows, knocking her to the ground.

"Come on, we've got to find Alessa!" Hal yelled, running into the house.

"Hal, stop!" Dave yelled, before he heard a car pulling up. He saw a pale woman with silvery hair and sunglasses come out, looking like a government agent. _Shit, they've come for me_ , he thought, and ran into the house after Hal.

* * *

Hal stumbled up the stairs, drawn up there by a strange force. Soon, he came across the charred body of Alessa, in the centre of a bizarre occult symbol, surrounded by candles on tall holders. Her skin was like an alien planet, black with canyons of red, running with fluid. She was almost unrecognisable.

 **ALESSA GILLESPIE**

 **The Unwilling Vessel of a Dark God**

For a moment, he feared the worst, until he saw her eyes open. And then, her voice slid into her head. _Harry? No…get out…let me burn_ …

"No!" Hal yelled, before he began coughing, the smoke and fumes threatening to choke him.

David came up. "Hal, come on, we…is this her? Is she still alive?"

"Yes, and I'm not leaving her!" Hal protested, coughing.

David growled out a "Damn!", before gingerly picking up the charred body of Alessa, his strength surprising for a kid his age. Hal helped, the two carrying a pair of limbs each

The two children, carrying a third, struggled through the house, only to see a tall shape loom out of the smoke. "Harry! Harry, come out of here!"

For a moment, Hal froze, recognising the voice. When David looked at him, Hal mouthed, _Mum_.

David hissed, "If we don't leave now, we die." Then, he pushed forward, Hal following along reluctantly.

* * *

When she saw the Gillespie house on fire, Strangelove feared the worst. Remembering the parasite in her glove box, she whipped it out as she stopped the car, in time to see Hal flee into the burning house, and another older boy with darker hair and vaguely familiar features do so as well. As she exited the car, she saw Dahlia Gillespie on the ground near a bush, unconscious.

She moved to the entrance of the house, and stared in horror at the inferno consuming it. She then ventured inside. Eventually, she called, "Harry! Harry, come out of here!"

A shape emerged from the smoke, resolved into two children carrying a third. The one bringing up the rear was Hal. The one ahead was the dark-haired boy. Between them, they were carrying the charred body of… _Alessa_ , Strangelove realised with horror.

"Come on, out, out, out," Strangelove urged, helping guide them through the smoke to outside. After making it outside, the two children laid Alessa down, with Hal collapsing, coughing heavily.

"Who're you?" Strangelove asked the boy.

"David. Are you Hal's mother?"

So he told him his name? Reckless. And she realised what it was about the boy who looked so damned familiar. It was like looking at a pre-teen Big Boss. Same dark hair, same piercing blue eyes, a similar intensity of expression.

And then, she remembered the charred body of Alessa. And she remembered the parasite sample in her hand. She was astonished that Alessa was still alive, given the way her eyes peered at Strangelove. She then heard Alessa's voice in her mind. _Please…let me die…_

"You don't deserve this. You don't deserve to die before you've lived," Strangelove said, preparing the parasite sample. It came with an in-built syringe, and she swiftly injected Alessa with the syringe. "I hope this helps."

Suddenly, the wail of sirens in the distance. Not that of the emergency services, but the low, lugubrious banshee wail of an air-raid siren…or a tornado warning. Unbidden, memories of the Blitz sprang to mind, of the German air-raids. How she used to emerge from her home at night to watch the stars, despite the danger of the bombs.

Everything seemed to get darker, and darker. Not just in terms of light. Strangelove could feel her very consciousness ebbing away. Before everything was consumed by the darkness, she thought she saw Alessa convulse, spasm, and then vomit up some grotesque lump of flesh, even as her own blackened flesh seemed to change. Then, everything went dark…

 **CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **And here we have it, the start of the actual horror itself.**

 **By the way, for those of you who haven't put it together…yes, David is indeed a young Solid Snake. Just as Eli, a young Liquid Snake, plays a role in** ** _The Phantom Pain_** **, David will play a role in this story. I hope this was a good twist for you guys: I only thought of this while partway through writing the prologue.**

 **1\. Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash was used in the first** ** _Silent Hill_** **film, and I thought it a nice thematic link. MRE stands for 'Meal, Ready to Eat'. However, a common nickname is 'Meal, Ready to Expel', as their effect on digestion can be variable, and sometimes rather painful. Hence the link here.**

 **2\. Namely David Oh, the real name of Major Zero. I have heard at least one suggestion that Solid Snake had actually been named for Major Zero's real name.**

 **3\. In the novelisation of** ** _Metal Gear Solid_** **by Raymond Benson, Snake is said to have lived in Oregon for the first ten years of his life. While of dubious canonicity, I'm putting it in here.**

 **4\. Claudia (from** ** _Silent Hill 3_** **) having been a childhood friend of Alessa.**

 **5\. K. Gordon is stated, in the third game, to have noticed problems with Alessa. Though apparently named for Kim Gordon of the band Sonic Youth, I decided to give her a different first name.**


	5. Dura Mater Chapter 3

_**DURA MATER**_

 **CHAPTER 3:**

 **HOMICHLOPHOBIA(** **1)**

Strangelove woke up with a start, finding herself sprawled on a park bench. For a brief moment, she thought herself back in London in her youth. The fog was certainly thick enough. Thicker, even.

Nearby, also waking up, were her son, and the delinquent. Still lying on the ground was Alessa, groaning in pain, as her skin seemed to gradually change from a charred mess to healthy-looking skin. She was wearing a simple dress, which she seemed to have been dressed in after she had been immolated (something Strangelove didn't like the implications of). The strange lump of offal she had vomited up was still present, twitching and convulsing.

But they were no longer in front of the Gillespie home, Strangelove realised. They were in a street near one of the shopping districts(2). _How the hell did we end up here?_ she wondered.

Shaking her head, she turned to face David, the delinquent boy shaking his head as if to rid it of some fog within. "Excuse me, David, was it? How did you come across my son?"

"He ran away from home, I was camping out in the woods. I did the same myself," the boy said. His eyes looked too old and too cold for a boy his age. He looked so much like a pre-teen Big Boss. "What's it to you?"

"No, I…I was wondering whether your parents would be worrying about you." Actually, she was lying. She had a nasty suspicion, born of discussions she once had with Big Boss and Zero, who he really was.

"Haven't got any. My mother died when I was born, and my father is, supposedly, a hero who hasn't got any time for me," David said. "I thought you were with social services with that getup."

"No, it's just a habit of mine," Strangelove said. "Did they ever tell you your father's name?"

"No…except I overheard my Uncle David talk about him being a 'Jack' or something."

Strangelove's eyes widened. Then, she began pacing the street, thinking, before she asked him, "Does the term _Les Enfants Terrible_ mean anything to you?"

"I think I heard my uncle mention it once."

"And your uncle…did he have a scar over his eye? Was he British?"

David blinked. "You knew my uncle?"

"More than that," Strangelove said. "I think I know your father."

"What? You know who he is?!" David demanded. "Tell me!"

Hal frowned. As much as he didn't like his mother at the moment, he found himself caught up in the moment. "How do we know his father?"

"Remember Big Boss?" Strangelove said to her son.

"Yeah, that really legendary soldier you knew years ago? What about him?"

"This is Big Boss' son," Strangelove said. "I'm almost certain of it."

"Big Boss? My foster parents mentioned him. The legendary mercenary leader. They said he died."

"He's not dead. But he's not in a good way, either. The last I heard, he's still in a coma in a Cyprus hospital, and has been since 1975," Strangelove said.

* * *

In said Cyprus hospital, a simultaneous set of sneezes emerged from two men who had, until a few minutes prior, been comatose since 1975. A rather buxom nurse was startled by the noise, but kept an eye on the two, just in case they had contracted some sort of respiratory infection. Luckily, it turned out to be nothing of the sort…

* * *

"Did you know my mother?" David asked.

"I've never met her, but I believe she's still alive, or at least survived giving birth to you. However, she's a fairly busy spy. When Big Boss first met her, she called herself EVA."

"So, was she beautiful? A great spy?"

Strangelove smiled. "Yes on both counts."

* * *

On holiday in Japan, a blonde-haired woman with blue eyes sneezed, nearly ruining her sushi meal. The chef, noticing that, said, in fairly good English and with a grin upon his face, "Ah, it seems that someone is talking about you."

"As long as it doesn't ruin my meal, I don't mind," the woman once known as EVA said.

* * *

A moan from Alessa brought Strangelove out of her reverie, and she kneeled down next to her. Her skin had regrown, and her hair was almost back to its normal length. The girl stared up at Strangelove. "What…what did you do to me?" she asked.

"Saved your life, I hope," Strangelove said. "It's a parasite. Well, more correctly, this one is more like a symbiote. In other words, it will help you instead of just feeding off you and harming you. It regenerates and replaces damaged tissues and organs. It's a hybrid of two strains of the same symbiote. In exchange for water and sunlight, it will keep you alive. Your lungs are now made up of its tissue, I think."

Alessa looked down at herself. "How do I get rid of it?"

"I'm sorry?"

"I can feel it growing in me," Alessa murmured. Her eyes flickered over to the twitching lump of meat. "Like that thing."

Strangelove didn't want to look at whatever Alessa expelled. Instead, she said, "Alessa, I can't remove it, and removing it might kill you anyway."

"I wanted to _die!_ " Alessa snapped.

"What about me? What if I wanted you to live?!" Hal demanded.

Alessa shook her head. "Harry…no, your real name is Hal, isn't it? You're kind…and sweet. But I'm not. I'm a witch."

"You're no witch, your mother's a witch!" Hal snapped.

David, who was watching on, had absent-mindedly brought out his radio. Alessa, with a gesture, seemed to summon the radio to her hands, the device apparently flying through the air. David did a double-take. "What? Are you a psychic or something?"

"An Esper," Strangelove murmured. "Psychokinesis, telepathy…no wonder those bullies called you a witch."

"My mother wanted to harness my power. Give birth to…that _thing_ ," she said, indicating the spasming lump of flesh. "What she calls God."

Strangelove grimaced. "What is it, then?"

"Science doesn't have names for it. Religion does. Like demon. I believe in God, Dr Strangelove…that is your real name, isn't it? But I don't believe in my mother's God. All I wanted was to have her love me, to be with her forever. But she killed that love when she decided to use my body as a womb for that…thing." Her face twisted up in anger. "Why did you save me?! I wanted to burn, to take this thing with me! But now this town had awakened! And we'll be eaten alive by the fog, and what lurks within it!" With that, she ran, dropping the radio as she did so. Hal, shooting a brief glare at his mother, ran after Alessa, despite Strangelove's admonishing cries.

David walked over, and peered at the grotesque lump of flesh that was Silent Hill's dark deity. A small, black eye, as dark as oblivion, peered into his own. He heard whispered promises of power and prestige, if only he would take it into his own body.

With a grimace of disgust, he brought his booted foot down heavily and repeatedly on it. Screeches of pain, like fingernails down the blackboard of the soul, sounded in both his mind's and Strangelove's. Not until the screeching stopped did he stop stamping down on it. By that point, it was now little more than a purulent smear on the pavement.

"Ugh," David snarled in disgust, before walking over to his radio. He turned it on, only to get static. "Dammit, she must've busted it." He then looked up. "What do you think the girl meant when she said, 'the town has awakened'? This place can't be alive, can it?"

"Normally, I'd say no. But I know enough about that parasite to know, according to projections, it would have taken only a minute or so to work, and it had already started. How could we get from her house to this area within that time?" Strangelove said. "I know this area, it's at least twenty minutes' walk from the Gillespie house. Come on, we've got to find them."

A pair of screams in the distance only served to punctuate her point, and Strangelove and David began running.

* * *

The sound of static from David's radio got louder and louder as they hared down the small street, with strange noises also emanating from it. They ended up in a main street, only to notice a number of things. Firstly, said street was destroyed not far from where they were standing, the last ragged chunks of asphalt hanging over an abyss. Which Strangelove was certain was impossible, as she had driven down that very street earlier that afternoon. In fact, wasn't it meant to be dusk? And yet, it seemed more like a fogbound day.

Secondly, Alessa and Hal, hand in hand, were staring, horrified, backing away. Thirdly, said thing they were backing away was no creature Strangelove had ever seen in her life.

It looked vaguely like a knight, but with rusted armour that seemed to have feminine lines. Its helmet, however, was a featureless (save for the blood and rust) cylinder, but opening and shutting periodically to reveal a featureless lump of flesh, save for two hollow eye sockets, and a ragged mop of blonde hair that looked disturbingly familiar. It seemed to reach out for the children as if wanting to hug them, a melancholy, vaguely feminine moaning coming from it, but the dozen or so spikes on its front, coated in gore both fresh and old, suggested that this was a very bad idea.

 **VOYEVODA**

 **An Iron Maiden, and Mother to Corpses**

David plucked out his slingshot, and fired a metal shot, hitting the creature on its flesh head as the 'helmet' was open. "Leave them alone!" he snarled.

The creature did, only to turn its attention to them. The two kids took that opportunity to run. "We'll be at the school!" Alessa yelled over her shoulder.

"Wait!" Strangelove yelled, but the two kids had already fled down an alley. Another of the creatures appeared from nearby, and began shambling down the alley after them.

"Come on," David said, tugging at her arm. "We don't have guns or any real weapons."

Reluctantly, Strangelove conceded, especially as the knight-like creature stumbled towards them at increased speed, almost a run. "This is insane!" she snarled as she followed the son of Big Boss. "Nothing like that should exist! So either I'm having a really bad dream brought about by smoke inhalation, or something has gone very wrong with the world!"

They halted for a moment. David was examining his radio, trying to get it to work. "There's less static…" he muttered.

"It got louder when we got closer to the creature," Strangelove mused. "And when we got further away…"

As if drawn by her musings, the static became louder, and another of those things began lurching towards them from the mist ahead. Strangelove and David looked at each other, before dashing past the moaning creature. David, as Strangelove knew where the school was, let her take point as they ran through the fog-bound streets. But both of them knew that there was something very wrong. The town was apparently deserted, creatures roamed the streets, and streets were cut off, destroyed, with a bottomless abyss below.

As Strangelove and her new comrade fled through the streets, she could scarcely believe that this was happening. In fact, the only thing that kept her reason from falling to bits, and her sanity along with it, was the conviction that, if this was truly real, then they were in very real danger. Hal, Alessa, David, and herself. Whatever these demonic beings were, they meant her and her son harm, along with his friend and this boy.

Hopefully, once they regrouped back at the school, she could get back to doing what mattered: protecting her son.

* * *

As the taxi sped away into the evening, Huey glared at it, before looking at the motel, given the rather bland name of 'Norman's Hotel'. Now he was staying in Silent Hill, and he would track down that treacherous hag!

After checking in, he asked, discreetly, about a woman with albinism, and a boy with glasses that resembled him. The clerk actually told him that they were pretty sure it was Dr Davina Bowman, a new teacher at the school, and Harry, her son.

Huey gave a smile at that. He couldn't risk bringing the police into it, not given what he was about to do. So he merely made for his room, planning to do something in the morning.

As he began to open the door to the room, he fumbled and dropped his key, his luggage in his lap. A man with dark hair and a suit picked it up for him and handed it to him.

"Thanks," Huey said.

"No problem." As Huey opened the door, the man said, "Would you want me to carry your bags?"

"I'll be fine," Huey said.

"Hmm. Do I know you from somewhere?"

"Doubtful, but I was told my son is living here," Huey said. "My so-called wife kidnapped him and brought him here."

"Is she an albino, habitually wears sunglasses, has short hair?" the man asked.

"Yes. Dr Strangelove. Yes, I know. Blame her parents," Huey said. "She was born before that movie came out."

"Huh. Around here, she's known as Davina Bowman. A teacher…and a troublemaker. She has hurt a dear friend of mine rather often, dismissing her religious beliefs in a somewhat cruel manner."

Huey smirked. He wasn't much of a religious person, but even so, nice to hear that the treacherous hag hadn't had it all her way. "Well, that sounds like her. She's in love with a dead woman, you see. Used me to get a child, and then discarded me. She can't just use me like that."

"Then I'll see if I can't bring her to you tomorrow. I'm staying here overnight while I conduct a business deal with a client. I'm Doctor Michael Kaufmann."

 **DOCTOR KAUFMANN**

 **A Doctor and a Drug Dealer**

"Doctor 'Huey' Emmerich," Emmerich said.

"Well, I'll see you in the morning, Doctor Emmerich," Kaufmann said with a smile.

Soon after, in his room, Huey decided to get some sleep first. His vengeance would come. As sleep took him, though, he could have sworn he heard, faintly, the sound of air-raid sirens in the air…

 **CHAPTER 3 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **At last, the actual horror begins. And Huey has met Kaufmann.**

 **As each enemy is introduced, I will be putting in 'bestiary' entries, explaining my rationale for each of them. We'll start with the first monster, Voyevoda.**

 **BESTIARY ENTRY 1: VOYEVODA** **: A twisted and grotesque manifestation of Strangelove's obsession with reviving the Boss. 'Voyevoda' was the name the Russians gave her, and means 'War Lord', though in** ** _Snake Eater_** **, it is translated as 'lady knight'. Her intent to embrace her enemies is a twisted parody of the Boss' desire to unite the world, though given a horrific, iron maiden-esque twist. The cylinder that conceals her head is actually based on the AI Pod Strangelove developed, and the head it conceals is a decayed version of the Boss' own. Slow and easy to avoid, but relentless, and hard to kill without a shotgun at the bare minimum.**

 **Anyway, that's the last of the chapters I'm posting so far. Hope this catches your fancy. I think this story has potential. But it'll be updated infrequently. If you're very lucky, you might get another chapter on Halloween itself, but don't hold your breath. This story counts as my little Halloween contribution.**

 **1\. In case you're wondering, 'homichlophobia' actually means a fear of fog and mist, a good term when dealing with the fog-bound Silent Hill.**

 **2\. Unlike** ** _Silent Hill: Origins_** **, they've ended up closer to Midwich Elementary, in the area closer to the start of the original game.**


	6. Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho, An Ashikabi's Chapter 1

**Here is an idea that I thought I could work on later when I get a hold of either the _Sekirei_ anime or manga (the former being more likely). It's a crossover between _Sekirei_ and _Pirates of the Caribbean_ , albeit taking elements from the _Naruto/Highschool DxD_ crossover _Reborn as Issei_. So, Captain Jack Sparrow is reincarnated as Minato Sahashi...and his first Sekirei is Kazehana. Hilarity ensues.**

* * *

 ** _YO-HO, YO-HO, AN ASHIKABI'S LIFE FOR ME_...**

 **CHAPTER 1:**

 **A SPARROW AND A WAGTAIL**

It was like something right out of Tartarus. The purple-haired wench in the traditional Japanese dress was giving me the sweetest smile, despite the fact that she was exuding an aura of dread and malice that would make even the most staunch of sailors rush for the head for a latrine break. This wasn't helped by the fact that I could see a rather ugly-looking demonic mask, a _Hannya_ , peeking out from behind her. I had to wonder, was this an illusion created by magic or something? As if I hadn't seen enough for two lifetimes, conveniently how many I had lived. The rather buxom lass beside me was trembling, ever so slightly, under the onslaught, while our would-be tormentor said, rather sweetly, "Lewd acts are not permitted within Maison Izumo."

Now, as scary as this woman was, I have to admit, her little aura was doing little to me. So I merely drawled, "Mrs Asama, I have chased around an undead monkey, I have flirted with the goddess of the sea, and I have had a chimaera of a psychopomp want to rape my face with his tentacle beard. Your little demon mask thing only rates a three out of ten, and that's being generous."

Ah, words. Such an underrated weapon, even in this day and age of technology. You can tailor them to your own ends. Sometimes, they can be as sharp as a scalpel. Sometimes, they can be a spur like a whip. And sometimes, they are like a cosh that makes people look bemused and spout funny things while their brain reboots.

Certainly, my words have an effect on Mrs Miya Asama, landlady, prude, and Sekirei Number 01. The mask went away, along with the aura, and she just stares at me incredulously as if I had gone mad. Truth be told, I don't know myself anymore. I know I've gone mad before, and sometimes, my plans and actions straddle that border between madness and genius.

The brunette in the jeans and pink shirt with a gold star on it, watching the byplay, said, "Big. Brass. Bowling balls." Her voice was in awe, as if her new god had come amongst them. And I have to admit, it was flattering…

* * *

So, allow me to introduce myself. I am…well, _was_ Captain Jack Sparrow. Look in a half-decent book about pirates, and chances are, you'll find me there. Though there aren't as many books that feature me, let alone in any substantial way, than I would like. Well, at least until I got a second chance at life.

I wasn't really a religious man in my original life, and I can't say that I'm one now. Somehow, though, I managed to luck out on the old wheel of fortune, and got a second life, nearly three centuries hence after my demise. How said demise came about, I can't say. After a certain point in my life, after dealing with that sore loser of a Spanish pirate hunter, my memories of my old life become a bit fuzzy, and the history books are quiet about that too. I hope that I died, drunk, happy and old in the arms of a beautiful, buxom young woman, preferably not at her hands. Knowing my rather mercurial luck, I probably ended up getting hanged by the Navy, or killed by an old rival I had pissed off, or tripped over that damned undead monkey with my name and broke my neck tumbling down into the hold of the _Black Pearl_.

Anyway, nearly three centuries later, I was reborn. Now, I didn't have all my memories straight away. At first, all I had were dreams and nightmares. It wasn't until I got into a fight at school that, thanks to a rather hard punch and the subsequent concussion, I regained them all.

Now, my name isn't Jack Sparrow anymore. Hell, I'm not even of English extraction. Now I'm Japanese. Minato Sahashi, at your service. Internationally-acclaimed author of the _Jack Sparrow_ novels, albeit under the pseudonym of Jack Teague. After myself, my father, and my uncle. From my previous life, anyway. My mother, in this life, was somewhat disappointed in me for pursuing the life of a novelist shortly before the end of high school instead of going to university, but five bestselling novels managed to net me a half-decent income. Based all on the misadventures of yours truly, in his previous life. Okay, they weren't exactly critically-acclaimed novels, but the public loved them.

I then decided to take a bit of a sabbatical away from Tokyo, only, when I came back, it was renamed 'Shin Teito'. I took a nice little trip around the world, mostly to some of my old haunting grounds in the Caribbean. I wondered whether anyone I knew from my past life were still hanging around? Well, the supernatural ones, anyway.

As it happened, Calypso had decided to take on the form of Tia Dalma once more. We met, we caught up a little, she slapped me for causing the death of Davy Jones (though I put the knife in Will Turner's hand to save his life), we shared a few laughs and tears, we shared a bed for the night, and then we parted ways. Though not before she warned me that a Flock of Wagtails would be coming my way ere long, and gave me a necklace of shells (that the customs officials here took umbrage with).

Anyway, after my little trip, I made my way back home. I was already more or less aware that Shin Teito had been all but bought up by the company Mid-Bio Industries and its CEO, Hiroto Minaka. Crazy wanker, but he had quite a bit of style, even if that style was looking like some cheesy mad scientist character from an anime, and he looked vaguely familiar. Me, well, I decided not to go back to the Hat, save for in private or in the Caribbean, but the coat, I tried to emulate, as much as I could with modern fashion. I actually enjoyed the new invention of sunglasses, finding it more stylish than kohl.

Now, while I booked myself into a decent hotel, I knew I needed to find somewhere to live. As much as I enjoyed a touch of luxury, I was used to far harsher quarters than a six-mat apartment. A prison cell in Port Royal, or the endless desert of Davy Jones' Locker, sprang immediately to mind.

As I bustled around my room, my phone rang, and I answered it with a sigh. "Hello?"

" _Hello, Minato. Are you back safely?_ "

Ah, yes, the tones of my dearest mother. In this life, anyway. She was pretty distant and domineering, to tell the truth, but Dr Takami Sahashi was a decent enough mother. Not that accepting of my career as a novelist, but as I now had an income, I didn't have to care. And she did support it as a hobby, just not as a career. I had since learned that she worked for MBI. "Pretty much. Some idiot in customs decided to grope me while patting me down, Customs objected to a gift I was given by a woman I met in the Caribbean, and I saw your boss on the TV. I have to ask, did someone drop him on his head as a child?"

" _I ask myself the same question every day, Minato. Are you okay?_ "

"Of course I am. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow." It was my running gag. I used to annoy her so much by claiming to be my previous life. It still got an annoyed scoff even now. A bit more seriously, I said, "I'm fine, Mum. I met a well-wisher in the Caribbean, a fortune-teller. Dressed up in Tia Dalma cosplay, though." I then frowned, remembering an incident from earlier today. "Actually, now that I come to mention it, is there a convention or something in town?"

" _Why do you ask?_ " She may have kept her voice calm, but I could tell her interest had sharpened.

"Well, I saw a couple of women in what looked like cosplay, doing parkour." It had been while I was at some café. I had seen two young women running on the rooftops nearby. They were dressed in what looked like black kimonos. One had pink hair and was not exactly endowed in the old chest department, while the other's kimono was loose and ragged, showing off a body wrapped in bandages. Oh, and she was wielding claws that would make Wolverine jealous, and with short silvery hair.

" _I see. It's part of an MBI event. I'd suggest staying away from them if possible_ ," my mother replied. Her words seemed to indicate that she knew far more than she was telling. " _They're trouble._ "

 _Trouble tends to dog my steps wherever I go_ , I thought, but out loud, I said, "Will do. Incidentally, do you have any idea of a place I can rent a room or something?"

After a moment, she said, " _There's a place in the north of the city. Maison Izumo. It's run by the widow of one of my late colleagues. Her name is Miya Asama. The rent is cheap, but I have heard she is somewhat strict. She might not tolerate your outlandish behaviour._ "

"Got it. Though maybe she might stand to loosen up a little, rather like you. When was the last time you got laid?"

Bullseye. I couldn't help but enjoy trolling my mother sometimes, and she growled out, " _Since I conceived Yukari._ " Then, she hung up.

Outlandish behaviour? Me? Why not?

* * *

Being a connoisseur of many kinds of bar and many kinds of alcohol, I have to say, I think more than a little soul has gone out of the making of spirits. Still, I retained a taste for rum from my previous life, and got into trouble more than once for managing to obtain some under my mother's nose. And the hotel's bar had enough variety of drink that I could get a brand of rum I particularly enjoyed. So, after dinner, I decided to patronise the bar.

As I drank from my glass, I soon found myself with someone sitting next to me. I glanced at them briefly, only to have my gaze return to my new drinking buddy. My brain soon had a Blue Screen of Hummina Hummina Hummina, as I gawped at the paragon of beauty right next to me.

Now, in this life, I was still actually a virgin, until a recent one-night stand with the notoriously capricious goddess of the ocean, anyway. But even then, I was no stranger to the various delights of the female form. After all, I had something of a long list of women (and men: it does get somewhat lonely on long voyages, after all(1)) whom I have had relations with. Many of whom wanted to slap me. Anamaria sprang to mind, as did Scarlett and Giselle of Tortuga. I mentioned Tia Dalma, aka Calypso. I had a thing for Elizabeth Swann, until she became Elizabeth Turner. And there was that whole business with Angelica, who turned out to be the daughter of Edward Teach, and wasn't that a fine old mess?

Anyway, this woman was definitely in the Top 5 already. She was dressed in this purple dress whose hemline was dangerously close to her modesty, vaguely Chinese-looking, with bits cut out to accentuate her cleavage and show off her navel. Her regally beautiful features had an easygoing smile on them, framed by dark hair pulled back in a long ponytail. Oh, and did I mention she was VERY buxom? And given the way her dress had bits cut out, that she probably wasn't wearing a bra?

I decided to look away for the moment. As much as I could turn on the ol' Captain Jack charm, it's generally better to let the ladies come to you in these days of sexual harassment. So I waited for her to make the next move.

Sure enough, she said, "And what's a sweet guy like you doing, drinking rum in a place like this?"

"Well, as a guest and a connoisseur of rum, I thought it would be such a waste if I didn't give it a try." I glanced at her glass, which the bartender was pouring. Sake, apparently, was her poison of choice. Big surprise, considering we were in Japan. "Out of all the people you could sit next to, you sat next to me."

"Surprised?" she asked.

"Curious. You're a beautiful woman, to say the very least. Makes a guy like me feel a touch unworthy to be in your presence." I then flinched. Maybe I was laying it on a bit thick. I'd tried to cut back on the swagger a little, given how much some people stared at me.

Luckily, she didn't take offence. She chuckled. "I just chose to sit next to you. Sometimes I just want a drinking buddy to talk to."

"I guess so," I said, before deciding to introduce myself. "Minato Sahashi."

She blinked at the name, apparently in recognition, before she said, "Kazehana."

"Sorry, do you know my name?"

"No, I thought I knew someone with your name, but I didn't think you'd be related to them," she said, waving off my question.

"Ah."

* * *

The evening went fairly well from there. We eventually got to talking. While using a pseudonym was meant to give me a little privacy at my young age, I did let slip that I had written the _Jack Sparrow_ books, which Kazehana apparently loved. She was surprised I had managed to write them while in my last years of high school. Well, the first few, anyway. She gushed over how much she loved Jack Sparrow and Will Turner, loved the swashbuckler and fantasy. I think the alcohol was making her a little more effusive than she would have been, but I didn't really mind.

She, however, was lamenting the fact that a man she had fallen in love with had spurned him for another woman. A rather shrewish woman, by her accounts. Well, she didn't exactly lament in an over-the-top melodramatic wailing and gnashing of the teeth, it was more of a catharsis that was relatively calm, but belied a depression underneath.

Thankfully, I was there to allow her to have a shoulder to lean on. Nothing more unless she really wanted it: I didn't want to take advantage of a drunken woman, after all, and while she wasn't exactly plastered (she certainly could hold her liquor, more than a few pirates I had known), bedding a consenting woman who is sober tends to have better consequences. I noticed, however, that as the evening went on, she began to become, well, flushed. Blushing heavily, breathing hard, and I had to admit, she hadn't drunk quite that much.

Eventually, she asked that I bring her to my room. I had to admit to some small trepidation. My books were fairly famous, after all, and I had made the mistake of admitting my identity to at least one girlfriend who became what we call in Japan a _yandere_ of the highest order. You know, a stalker with no sense of morality, sanity or personal space.

Now, I was torn between anticipating bedding her, and having some anxiety, and not just because of the whole paranoid fear of her being a _yandere_. After all, we were drunk, and we could do something that either of us regretted. Then again, _Carpe diem_ , as the Romans said. Or, as the current generation say, YOLO.

However, when we reached my room, she actually seemed to stop, and gather herself. Hell, she somehow seemed to sober up. Handy trick. She then said, "Minato…what I'm about to do will change your life…and my life forever. I can't tell you everything yet, but…I want you to kiss me. And then, all will be revealed."

I looked her up and down. Even to my alcohol-befuddled mind, I had to wonder, what could possibly be so bad?

I should have known better. I had spent one lifetime getting into all sorts of scrapes. And more than a few were catalysed with kissing. But, well, I decided to take the plunge.

I came forward, embraced Kazehana, and kissed her on the lips. Her mouth tasted cool, and even vaguely floral. But through my closed eyelids, I saw some sort of glow. I opened my eyes, startled, and found what looked to be ethereal wings of pink light emanating from her back. Then, as we broke off our kiss, she said, solemnly but happily, "Kazehana, Sekirei Number 03 is yours, Minato Sahashi. May my wind be at your back, now and forever…"

I stared as those wings of light faded. _Bugger_ , I thought to myself. _It seems that I'm about to go on an adventure again_ …

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, how did you like that? I hope it turned out all right.**

 **Now, I've done a bit of research, and Kazehana actually waits for considerable time in canon before having Minato Wing her, even after they meet for the first time. I thought the reason she does so here a little more quickly is partly due to Minato's different personality, which, combined with him having traits of Captain Jack Sparrow, probably made her react somewhat quicker.**

 **Incidentally, in this universe, the films haven't been made. However, Disney is considering making them by the time these events occur…**

 **1\. Johnny Depp has apparently confirmed this in interviews, that Captain Jack is actually bisexual, his reasoning being that given above in the story.**


	7. Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho, An Ashikabi's Chapter 2

**I'm astonished at how enthusiastically this idea was embraced by you guys. Hopefully, I can write enough chapters for it to be a full fic later.**

 **Incidentally, people will notice Minato/Jack mentioning his compass. I went back and edited Chapter 1 (in my original Word document) that Tia Dalma, instead of giving him a necklace, gave him the compass back. He hasn't used it yet: he's kept it more out of sentimental value. However, it will come into play later in the story.**

* * *

 ** _YO-HO, YO-HO, AN ASHIKABI'S LIFE FOR ME_** **...**

 **CHAPTER 2:**

 **FANBOY AND WIND WOMAN**

After I was actually given an explanation by Kazehana, I contemplated things for a moment. Now Tia Dalma's obscure warning made sense, given that 'Sekirei' was Japanese for 'Wagtail'. "So, let me get this straight. You're an alien from outer space with superpowers, and by snogging me, you've initiated a magical bond between us that basically means marriage by your terms. Oh, and I've got to participate in some city-wide battle royale for some unknown prize, headed by MBI. Have I got the pertinent details down?"

Kazehana nodded. "You're taking this well," she noted, as I swaggered (well, more staggered) over to the minibar.

"The way I see it, I've either drunk too much, or too little. I am going to assume the latter and remedy that forthwith." I scowled when I noticed a distinct lack of rum in the minibar, and I knew there was at least one bottle there. "Oh, why is the rum always gone?"

Silently, Kazehana indicated an empty bottle just above me on a shelf. "Ah, that's why," I said in realisation.

"You act very like the character you write," Kazehana observed, raising an eyebrow.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I slurred slightly.

"Hmm…I don't know," she said with a flirtatious smile. But when a TV nearby flickered into life, she scowled. "Oh, _no_."

"What?" I looked around for the remote, and found it was still near the bed, nowhere near us.

But before I could rectify this, I heard a loud, plummy voice, boom out, " _AVAST ME HEARTIES! SHIVER ME TIMBERS! YO HO HO, AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!_ "

I stared at the screen. And stared. And stared. A man was on the screen, in cosplay as me in my former life, except he didn't have any facial hair or braids, just glasses and a shock of white hair. I noticed Kazehana turning away in annoyance. Then, I said the only sane and reasonable thing that came to mind. "…What."

" _Ah! It's a pleasure to see you at last, Minato Sahashi, aka Jack Teague, elusive author of the_ Jack Sparrow _books! I have to say, big fan. Love those books. I'd buy the film rights, but Disney's trying to outbid me_ ," the man said.

I blinked, trying to place him. He looked familiar. Had I threatened him before? No, that was Will Turner, and I had recognised him because of his father. I snapped my fingers in recognition. "Hiroto Minaka!" I said. "Head of MBI and would-be mad scientist! Huh. Now I know I have drunken too much. Why the hell can you talk to me via a TV?"

" _Because there's a nano-camera implanted in all MBI-brand TVs!_ " Minaka said. " _Anyway, I've called to discuss the particulars of the Sekirei Plan!_ "

"Thanks but no thanks, mate. The lovely Kazehana already told me."

" _Oh? Well, the thing is, you need to keep it a secret, or else MBI will come to get you! So, no naughty tongue-wagging. Oh, and you can't leave the city, otherwise…WE UNLEASH THE KRAKEN!_ "

I blinked at his hamminess, before turning to Kazehana, who said, "Actually, they fire death beams from satellites."

"Bugger," I muttered, with considerable understatement. At least you could see the Kraken coming, most of the time.

" _That's right! But, well, I'm sure you won't mind!_ " Minaka crowed. " _You get to compete in a game, a grand game that will usher in a new age of the gods!_ " He then cackled. Did he spend time actually practising a mad scientist's laugh? He had it down pat.

" _Anyway, I hope you enjoy yourself with your Ashikabi, Number 03!_ " Minaka said. " _You get a nice consolation prize, at least, Kazehana!_ "

Kazehana looked tempted to unleash her powers on the TV (which she had already told me involved wind and blasts of air…and not of the kind that comes from one's fundament), and I realised what Minaka meant. "You're his ex? My condolences."

"Yeah. Minaka, just stop this already. I'll explain everything else, okay?"

Minaka pouted. " _Fine, fine, spoil my fun, why don't you? Oh, and could you come along to MBI HQ later, Minato? Only, I have the first editions of the books, and I really want them signed._ "

"As long as it's not in blood, fine. Anything for a fan," I drawled.

" _Oh believe me, I wouldn't dare stain my precious collectables with blood! Number 104, though, might be another matter. Anyway, HOIST THE MAINSAIL, AND CAST OFF, YE LANDLUBBERS!_ " And with that, the TV cut off.

"Huh. That just happened," I muttered. "Now, umm, Kazehana…" I blinked. "Wait, do you have a last name? Or a first name?"

"Just Kazehana."

"Good to know. Now, I hope you're not disappointed, but I believe I'm going to go to bed shortly. Hopefully, when I wake up, I'll be better able to tell how much of this was a figment of my inebriated imagination. Do you mind?"

She looked a bit disappointed as I staggered towards the bed, but nodded. "Good to know," I slurred, before I collapsed. I was snoring before I hit the mattress.

* * *

Now, I'm no stranger to the dubious delights of hangovers. So, even in this life, I managed to shake off the aftereffects of my drinking fairly quickly, save for a rather persistent headache. And then, I realised I was in something of a predicament. I was still in my trousers and a rumpled shirt. Kazehana, however, most evidently was not. That is, she was naked, and curled up next to me, her arms clasping over my own, and trapping it between her very bountiful breasts.

Well, nature called, as did a paracetamol capsule. So I managed to free myself with a slight effort (removing one's self from bed discreetly was a skill I had picked up from hard experience), and snuck into the bathroom. After relieving myself and then getting the headache capsule, I felt a little better already. So, part of the surreal memories I had from yesterday were real. I had woken up in bed next to Kazehana.

As I gargled some water from the sink, I tried to take stock. I would have sneered at the possibility of aliens, but to tell the truth, the memories of my past life were far stranger. I had fought the undead, including my own treacherous crew and the ghosts of Salazar and his crew, I had faced down Davy Jones, Calypso, and Blackbeard, and I've held artifacts in my hands the like of which the world hasn't seen before or since. I still had one even now, my old compass. More for sentiment than anything else, really.

Compared to that, super-powered alien women who bonded to you through a kiss wasn't that hard to swallow. I just wanted to make sure.

Oh, and speak of the devil and she's at your shoulder. Draping her arms over my shoulders, and pressing those very large breasts into my back. "Ahoy there, captain," she purred in a very lascivious manner. "A fair wind has just blown your way."

"Flurgen," I said. Probably the only coherent noise I could make.

"Is that nautical slang?"

"No, just a general incoherent noise," I said, a little muzzily. "Excuse me, can I kiss you again?"

Her smile widened. Oh, that would make Cutler Beckett orgasm, that smile, and he's practically a eunuch. Well, he was rather literally after he branded me(1).

Gah. Focus. I swivelled around, and kissed her. Once more, I tasted that lovely mouth of hers. Only this time, I felt the faint tang of sea salt mixed in. Thank goodness I gargled out my mouth in the sink, or goodness knew what she would be tasting. And yep, ethereal wings of light appeared, sprouting from her back. After we finished, I frowned. "So, not drunken hallucinations?"

She snorted. "I don't think you've drunk enough to have those." She turned on her heel, presenting her back to me, and gently pulled her hair out of the way. It took me a second to realise she wanted to show something other than her callipygian rear. Namely, a brand between her shoulders, an emblem showing a bird in flight over a _taijitu_ or yin-yang symbol.

"Nice tattoo. Did you get drunk when you got that one?" That had happened to me in my past life more times than I cared to remember. In fact, the bird in flight reminded me of the one I had of a sparrow on my arm, something I got not so long ago in this life.

"Yes, as I got it last night when you Winged me," Kazehana said with a laugh. "This is our symbol of having been Winged. It's also our weak point."

"Good to know. Now, why have you got numbers. I mean, that seems like something out of _The Prisoner_ , right?" On her confused look, I explained, hastily, "Weird British show about a man imprisoned in a remote village, the guard dog was a weather balloon, strange shit happens…"

"Clearly. I am Number 03. There are 108 Sekirei, though one, I believe, is dead. I don't know the exact circumstances. To my knowledge, they have been released all over the city. That being said, there's a few you should look out for."

"How about we discuss this over a working breakfast?" I asked. "After a shower?"

"For two?" she purred. And, hoo boy, my libido kicked into overdrive then…

* * *

Showering was, I had to admit, very pleasant. No full-on sex, but quite a bit of cleaning and mutual pleasure. Stayed in there for the best part of half an hour, before dressing and calling room service.

After it was brought in, and we started eating, Kazehana said, "So, first things first. Single Numbers like myself are, generally, the most powerful Sekirei. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule. Of those Single Numbers, one is dead, another is on the run, and yet another is, according to rumour, has become a 'Scrapped Number'. In other words, thanks to her fool of an adjuster, she had self-Winged."

"Adjuster?"

"MBI scientists adjusted our physiology so that we can interact with humans without harming them. Not unless we actually consciously wish to," Kazehana said. "As for self-Winging…well, it prevents them from being Winged, ever. It's like being lobotomised. Being unable to fall in love, ever again."

Well, that did sound rather cruel. "Can you tell me any other details?"

She nodded. "I can't tell you about Number 01 for various reasons. Number 02, Matsu, is one of the few brain-type Sekirei. That means her powers are not with physical force or elemental ability, but with her mind. She can interface with technology and computer systems. She's also, frankly, a bit of a pervert. She's the one who's on the lam."

"On the lamb? Is she like lonely sailors on merchant ships with livestock(2)?"

"No. And damn you for putting a mental image like that into my head," Kazehana scowled. We were talking in English for the moment, for the sake of practise. Many Sekirei were apparently taught English and Chinese alongside Japanese. "Anyway, Number 04, Karasuba…you should avoid. She is bloodthirsty and psychopathic, to say the least, and she's a skilled swordswoman. Number 05 is Mutsu, a swordsman and with an Earth elemental affinity. Number 06 is Homura, with a Fire affinity. Number 07 is Akitsu, the Scrapped Number I mentioned. Number 08 is Yume, the Sekirei I mentioned who perished. Number 09 is Tsukiumi, excellent at using water to attack, but she's a misandrist thanks to her adjuster. Plus, she speaks in an old-fashioned way."

"Hmm. Any others?"

"Not any that spring immediately to mind, as it's been some time since I was at MBI," Kazehana said. "I do know that there's a few Ashikabi who have established territories in the city. Higa and Mikogami are the ones you have to look out for. Mikogami treats the Sekirei Plan like a game, and Sekirei like collectable figurines. But he's more of a spoilt brat more than anything. Izuma Higa is another matter entirely. He's the heir to a company that is one of MBI's rivals, and he's got a chip on his shoulder. I heard he does quite a few dirty deals. He's rather like Cutler Beckett in your novels."

 _Oh joy_ , I thought. _Another eunuch with a flair for treachery and inhumanity_.

"I've also run into the Sekirei of an Ashikabi called Kaoru Seo. He makes it his mission to target Unwinged Sekirei to, supposedly, spare them the horrors of the Sekirei Game. His Sekirei know better than to mess with me now. 11 and 12, the Thunder Twins Hikari and Hibiki. You'll know them if you see dark-haired twins in what looks like BDSM outfits," Kazehana said.

I contemplated that for a moment. Then, to dispel the admittedly attractive image of twin girls in kinky dress, I decided to change the subject. "Well, I think for the time being, I will get some accommodation. This hotel was mostly temporary, and I want something a little more long-term, savvy? My mother recommended a place in the north owned by someone called Miya Asama."

I couldn't miss that startled reaction going across her face, which was odd, as I wasn't exactly intending anything like that. "Did you say Miya Asama?" she asked.

"You know her?"

"I sometimes get some drinks off her. She and I are friends." And judging by the way she said it, she was friends in the same way as I had been friends with the Turners, or Tia Dalma. With the possibility of danger getting involved, along with mutual oars to the noggin.

"Oh, that's right. My mother told me she was the widow of a researcher at MBI. Small world, eh?"

"Very small," Kazehana said.

As we continued to eat our breakfast, a thought occurred to me. "Actually, yesterday, I saw a pair of women on the rooftops. Both dressed in black. One had pink hair, the other had silver hair and wielded massive claws. I thought them cosplayers, but were they Sekirei?"

Kazehana nodded. "I mentioned Karasuba. She is the head of the Discipline Squad. Nominally, that is meant to protect Sekirei, but in truth, they are more Minaka's enforcers. I used to be on the original Discipline Squad, while we were protecting our people from foreign attackers. I do know those Sekirei, as I encountered them once. 104 and 105, Haihane and Benitsubasa. Haihane was the one with the claws. She's a bit lazy and clumsy, but she's lethal. Benitsubasa was the pink-haired one. Good fighter, but bad-tempered. I think she has a complex over her lack of a bust. Anyway, you sure you want to room at Maison Izumo?"

"Sure. Why?"

Kazehana shrugged. "Okay, your funeral. Just remember, Miya is pretty scary…"

* * *

It was a few hours later, and I had come with Kazehana to Maison Izumo, a nice little two-storey Japanese house. The door was answered by a rather charming young lady, perhaps in her late twenties, with lavender hair and a pleasant expression on her beautiful features.

Now, call me paranoid, but given what Kazehana said about her, I had to wonder, what could scare a Sekirei? Well, unless she was a very dedicated dyer of hair, maybe she was a Sekirei herself. After all, lavender hair wasn't exactly natural.

Anyway, she said, her smile becoming ever-so-slightly forced upon seeing Kazehana, "Ah, Kazehana. Have you brought someone here?"

"Actually, I was told by a mutual acquaintance that you might have something in the way of decent lodgings in exchange for reasonable remuneration. Savvy?" I asked.

Miya blinked as she processed what I said, before she smiled again. That innocent little smile…yeah, I wasn't buying it for one second. I've seen similar sweet smiles on people just before they tried to slit my throat. "Oh. Well then, my husband did make it a policy not to turn away anyone seeking help," she said.

Of course, it was not long afterwards that that little bit before with the mask happened, and that's where we resume the tale…

 **CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Minato/Jack has encountered Minaka and Miya. Let the chaos begin.**

 **1\. I think it's a popular fan theory (and one I subscribe to) that Cutler Beckett, after branding Jack Sparrow, was made into a eunuch or a near-eunuch by Sparrow. So that's what I'm going with here. Beckett is certainly coy about the mark Sparrow left on him.**

 **2\. This is a really bad pun I picked up from an instalment of the** ** _Final Fantasy_** **webcomic spoof** ** _8-Bit Theater_** **.**


	8. Short Change Heroes Chapter 1

**Before I continue with the latest story to be archived into the Compost Heap, I'd like to make an announcement. I've decided to post the first three chapters of _Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho, An Ashikabi's Life for Me_ as a full story. Keep an eye out for it.**

 **Now, this story was another of those 'good idea at the time' ones, a crossover (the first marked) between _Mass Effect_ and _Blake's 7_. The latter, for those not in the know, was a British science fiction TV series from the Seventies about a group of rebels and criminals fighting against a tyrannical Terran Federation. It was _very_ low budget (having a budget even less than _Doctor Who_ at the time, which is saying something) and camp more than a few times, but it had a fairly bleak and morally ambiguous outlook. This story has significant spoilers for the end of the _Blake's 7_ series.**

 **Sadly, despite my initial enthusiasm for the idea, it petered out. So, I've decided to archive it here. Enjoy.**

* * *

 _ **SHORT CHANGE HEROES**_

 **CHAPTER 1:**

 **A NEW LIFE**

In a darkened room, a man woke up in a cold sweat, screaming hoarsely. Panting, he looked around in the dark, his eyes adjusting, and he began to calm down. "Cally?" he called out. "Lights on, please."

" _Okay, Vila_ ," came the soft, soothing reply in a synthesized voice. The lights came on, albeit only to a gentle light. But it was soothing to Vila Restal.

 _You might leave the life of being a fugitive_ , Vila reflected as he got out of bed, _but it will never leave you_. He was perhaps in his mid-forties, a little pudgy, with thinning brown hair framing a vaguely rodent-like face. To everyone he met, he was polite, even obsequious. It was habit formed from his previous life, a life that he deluded himself he had left far behind, on another planet called Gauda Prime, an entire universe away.

He was no longer Vila Restal, thief, safecracker, fugitive, and revolutionary. He was Vila Restal, home security consultant on the peaceful planet of Eden Prime. Well, relatively peaceful, considering it was near the Terminus Systems, and pirates and slavers were a possibility. But compared to life on the run, perpetually at war with or in hiding from the Terran Federation, this was luxury. And in over a year of being in this universe, he felt content at last.

True, he did miss the thrill of stealing things, and he did help with the smuggling operations on Eden Prime a little. But he also kept as much out of trouble as he could. And there was something interesting about designing electronic security systems to keep people like him out.

People like him. Heh. He remembered one of his first missions with Blake, to the planet Centero, to steal a cipher device from a Federation communications base. Blake had asked him to distract a couple of guards. Vila actually walked up to them and said, " _Hello there. How are you? Excuse me wandering about your premises but I wonder if you can help me. I'm an escaped prisoner. I was a thief but recently I've become interested in sabotage, in a small way you understand, nothing too ambitious, I hate vulgarity, don't you? Anyway, I've come to blow something up. What do you think will be most suitable?_ " And the funniest thing was? They actually looked at his map. That had allowed Blake to sneak up and knock one of them unconscious, with Vila doing the same(1).

He wondered why they looked at his map. Did they think him an escaped lunatic, and were humouring him? Were they just bored standing around, and were actually interested in anything that came along? Or were they disgruntled enough with their work that they actually wanted some of it blown up? Probably not the latter, given that one of them set off an alarm when they recovered.

In any case, what he was, or at least used to be, was a thief, a revolutionary (the Federation called them terrorists), and a fugitive. Perhaps the weakest link in Blake's group: he had perhaps the best self-preservation instinct, aside from Avon, though Avon would call what he had self-preservation, and what Vila had cowardice.

Avon…Vila didn't like to think about him lately. The computer hacker always had some snide remark or other to make at Vila's expense, but there was a perverse sort of respect and camaraderie between the two men. After all, it was together that they broke the bank at Freedom City's casino, and they worked together at Fosforon(2). But Blake and Jenna left, and that swaggering bully Tarrant and the beautiful weapons expert Dayna didn't make things better. Only Cally was left to truly stick up for Vila. And she died on Terminal, all because Avon went on a wild goose chase, looking for Blake(3).

Their relationship, such as it was, deteriorated. It all came to a head when they went to Malodar to fetch a weapon from Doctor Egrorian. Unfortunately, Egrorian sabotaged the ship with ultra-dense matter, and before he realised what had happened, Avon seemed all too willing to eject Vila from the ship mid-flight to save his own skin. Avon did find Egrorian's trap, as he explained later, but Avon had lost what little trust he had from Vila that day(4).

And then, there was Gauda Prime, and what came after. The crash-landing…Tarrant found by Blake, and believing that Blake had sold them out. Avon, his paranoia already at breaking point, snapped and shot Blake repeatedly, killing him, only to learn that Blake hadn't sold them out, though he had been manipulated by the Federation(5).

There was a shootout. Well, more of a massacre, though none died. Avon, Vila, Soolin, Tarrant, and Dayna, all fell to Federation guns, believing they had died.

But no. They had been stunned instead. It turned out Servalan, who was rebuilding her powerbase in the Federation, managed to get a hold of them, and publicly executed them. She used a novel technique, derived from what little Federation forces had been able to discern about the _Liberator_ 's teleport systems. She intended to disintegrate them and scatter them over the winds of space. She had been hoping to do the same to Blake, but Avon's actions cost her that.

It was those events, Gauda Prime and the execution, that had Vila waking up. He had fully expected to die that day. Instead, they woke up in this other universe, in the middle of some vast space station called the Citadel. Because they had no papers, they were taken into custody by the police of that station, C-Sec.

After a long and arduous process, they were allowed to go free. And this they did, going their separate ways. Before he did leave, though, Vila punched both Avon and Tarrant in the mouth. At least Tarrant had the decency to look shamefaced: he had treated Vila with more than a little contempt and disdain, but even he wouldn't have cold-bloodedly killed Vila like Avon nearly did.

Where Avon went, Vila didn't know. But he knew that Tarrant and Soolin went off together, and founded a new mercenary company. Not a big one, really only having two members. They called themselves Scorpio, after the ship that once belonged to Dorian. They kept in contact, with Vila having begun to be on better terms with Tarrant. Apparently they were guarding some Asari archaeologist on some backwater called Therum(6). Vila preferred the quiet life, but he wouldn't mind guard duty if it was on an Asari. Few alien races existed back home, and they were generally not nice. The Andromedans came to mind(7).

As for Dayna, she worked for the Systems Alliance as a weapons consultant. The Systems Alliance was basically the equivalent of the Terran Federation, if it was actually a decent organisation. Not perfect, but compared to the Federation, it was pretty damn good. The last he heard from her, she was being assigned to a new ship at Arcturus Station. She even hinted she may be in the neighbourhood soon.

Vila smiled. While there were times when he and Dayna didn't get along, she was certainly okay to talk to. And after Cally died, who else was there to talk to? Now, she was one of his better friends.

He had few around here. Good acquaintances, yes, people he was on friendly terms with, yes. But friends? Maybe it was his experience with Avon and Blake and all that crap on the _Liberator_ and _Scorpio_ , but Vila was wary of making new friends. Amongst the original crew, the closest he had to a best friend was Olag Gan, and Gan had died trying to save them in the false Central Control bunker(8).

Vila sighed morosely. He had to go and check the locks at the archaeological dig site today. And considering that said dig had unearthed a Prothean beacon, which was apparently a big deal, it was important. Supposedly, the Council would be sending someone soon to pick it up. And they were welcome to it. Apparently Prothean artifacts were a common target for pirates and rogue states, and they might target Eden Prime to get it.

Still, this new life of his was better than his old one. That much could be said.

There was one thing he missed from his old life, actually. Cally, dead in the ruins of Servalan's base on Terminal, not long before the planet itself exploded. That was why, when he got a Virtual Intelligence interface for his house, he called it Cally, and changed the voice program and avatar to resemble that of his long-dead friend. That long face framed by a shock of curly brown hair, those dark, soulful eyes…

Of course, she only had eyes for Avon. The two of them had a relationship, of sorts. But she was also, along with Gan, the nearest thing he had to a friend on the _Liberator_. And even after so long, he still couldn't quite get over it…

* * *

"Hello, Mr Restal," said one of the friendlier marines on guard near the site. Vila knew her by sight: Ashley Williams. A bit like Dayna, Soolin, Cally, or Jenna. Or Servalan, if you were into that sort of thing. Nice to look at, but she was also a good fighter.

In fact, if what Vila heard on the grapevine was true, then she had to fight to get as far as she did: her grandfather was infamous for surrendering to the Turians some years ago at Shanxi, in order to protect the civilians. Vila personally thought that her grandfather had some sense, but unfortunately, he was painted as a coward. And unfortunately, this reputation had dogged the Williams family.

"Hello there, Miss Williams," Vila said with what he hoped was a winning smile. "How are we this morning?"

"Fine. You here to make sure that the locks are safe?"

"Miss Williams, if I can make sure that I can't break into them, then nobody else can, not without high explosive," Vila said, still smiling. "Don't want to lose the artifacts, do we?"

Williams nodded. She was one of the few who had an inkling that Vila used to be a thief. She didn't know the whole story: few did, and even fewer found it believable. She probably thought him a thief reformed and turned into a security consultant, which was the truth in a way. Just not the whole truth.

Vila was happy and content with his lot in life. So he should have known that things were about to go to shit. So when something screamed out of the sky and buried itself in the ground, hurling him to the ground and deafening him, long-sleeping instincts were awoken. An instinct to run like hell, or at least get someone between him and it.

"What the hell is that?" one of the marines with Williams asked.

Vila could have asked the same question if he wasn't trying to get over the fact that this thing had nearly squashed him. It was hot and blackened, whatever it was, by what probably was re-entry. He backed away, moving to get behind Williams. It wasn't a meteor, that was for sure, or anything natural. It was something artificial.

Then, things began to unfold from it. Things that looked like a parody of a human form, made of tubes and metal and synthetic muscle, with a head that looked little more than a giant flashlight. Weapons were held in their hands.

"Are those…Geth?" Williams muttered.

Geth? Vila found himself revising his observations of these creatures. He had read up on history, and knew that the Geth were the rogue robotic creations of the Quarians. These things certainly resembled Quarians a little more than humans, with those four-fingered hands and the backwards-facing knees. But they hadn't been seen outside the Perseus Veil for centuries.

Well, until today, anyway.

More things screamed out of the sky. And judging by the way the Geth were raising their weapons, they weren't tourists. Unless they were the kind that went for looting and pillaging.

Vila felt a pistol being shoved into his hands. "Restal, can you shoot?" Ashley asked.

"I…have fired guns before," Vila said. He didn't like it. Guns tended to make you a target. He had killed, but only on occasion.

"Then use it. And don't let it overheat."

Vila groaned inwardly. Why, oh why couldn't he have a peaceful life? Was it really too much to ask whatever perverse deity ruled the cosmos to have a quiet existence?

As all hell broke loose around him, Vila knew that the fates had it in for him…

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Well, off to a good start, I think. This fanfic will probably update less often than my others, but I think it's a good concept that has legs. Who has thought of a** ** _Mass Effect_** **and** ** _Blake's 7_** **crossover before, huh?**

 **I had to think about how Vila and the others ended up in the** ** _Mass Effect_** **universe, and thought of the disintegrator execution thing. It is perfectly possible that the characters were stunned rather than killed at the end of** ** _Blake's 7_** **, and executed elsewhere.**

 **1\. Seriously, this does happen, during the events of** ** _Seek-Locate-Destroy_** **. It's one of the funniest things in the series. I'm amazed the Federation troopers didn't shoot Vila there and then.**

 **2\. A reference to the events of** ** _Gambit_** **and** ** _Killer_** **, respectively, though** ** _Killer_** **comes before the events of** ** _Gambit_** **.** ** _Gambit_** **is worth seeing for its sheer campness, as well as Deep Roy playing a sadistic chess-player called the Klute.**

 **3\. A reference to the events of** ** _Terminal_** **and** ** _Rescue_** **, the series 3 finale and series 4 opener respectively for** ** _Blake's 7_** **.**

 **4\. A summary of the events of** ** _Orbit_** **.**

 **5\. A summary of what happened in** ** _Blake_** **, the final episode of the** ** _Blake's 7_** **TV series.**

 **6\. Some foreshadowing: Soolin and Tarrant are guarding none other than Liara T'soni.**

 **7\. In** ** _Blake's 7_** **, the Andromedans are nasty, genocidal shape-shifters. Think Daleks if they could change their form. Normally, they look like a green, gooey mess of organs, if I recall correctly. They made their only on-screen appearance in the season 2 finale** ** _Star One_** **, and are defeated after a long war in the opening minutes of the season 3 opener,** ** _Aftermath_** **.**

 **8\. Gan's death happens during the events of** ** _Pressure Point_** **, and nearly causes Blake to give up on his quest.**


	9. Short Change Heroes Chapter 2

_**SHORT CHANGE HEROES**_

 **CHAPTER 2:**

 **MISSION TO THE UNKNOWN**

Quartermaster Dayna Mellanby enjoyed her job. The young, dark-skinned woman with closely-cropped hair and sensuous features often surprised people when they learned that she was one of the best weapons experts within the Systems Alliance, or even within the galaxy in general. The fact that she learned much of it within a few months astonished the few who even knew that.

Long ago, her father, Hal Mellanby, had been a rebel against the Federation, but had fled to the planet Sarran with his infant daughter when his movement collapsed. Dayna never knew her mother. Her father was blind, relying on cybernetics to see. She had an adopted sister on Sarran, one of the natives, Lauren.

But things went to shit when the Intergalactic War was fought. Avon crashlanded on Sarran, as did none other than Servalan. On that fateful day, she lost both her father and her adoptive sister. She came with Avon because there was nothing for her left on Sarran.

Over time, she watched as things deteriorated, first on the _Liberator_ , and then on _Scorpio_. She remembered the death of Cally, screaming out telepathically the name of Blake. Even Dayna could hear it, as far away as she had been from the bunker. She remembered Dorian and Soolin, and Avon's increasing dysfunction. And then, Gauda Prime, where she met, for the first and last time, the grizzled remains of Roj Blake, who was shot in the stomach by Avon, who believed Tarrant when the young man, understandably, proclaimed Blake a traitor.

That she now had a new life in a new universe was almost as unbelievable as many of her adventures with Avon's crew. After their parting of the ways on the Citadel, Dayna, who decided she didn't want to follow Tarrant and Soolin into mercenary work, was approached by one Captain David Anderson. He was willing to mentor her in weapons training, as he had heard through his contacts in the Citadel of her ability.

The weapons of this universe were strange. They used an exotic substance called Element Zero to send microscopic shard of metal at almost relativistic speeds. The upshot was, you could effectively have near-limitless ammunition. But the downside was, these weapons overheated too easily. It was a novel and intriguing idea, really. She had, while on Sarran, created and mastered a number of various weapons, ranging from a bow and arrow all the way up to a powerful blaster. She had wielded the unusual, hairdryer-like blasters of the _Liberator_ 's arsenal(1), and Dorian's special-ammo pistols. So she knew how to learn about new weapons, and quickly.

After finishing her training and evaluation, Anderson took her under his wing. With him were various others. Dayna realised that Anderson collected various people, people who, while somewhat damaged, had the best of skills. There was Kaidan Alenko, one of the last sane L2 biotics. Biotics, if she understood correctly, had Element Zero in their body, giving them abilities. Like being able to scatter enemies like skittles with what looked like a blast of energy, or being able to form a barrier around themselves to temper damage from combat.

And then, there was Jeff Moreau, otherwise known as 'Joker'. It was a nickname that had stuck to him at pilot school, as he never smiled. This was understandable, given that he had been born with brittle bones. But he did smile once he graduated with top honours, and his appellation became synonymous with a sardonic tongue that Avon would have viewed as competition. Unlike Avon, though, Joker was a nice guy, if a bit too fond of varying kinds of pornography. Avon, however, didn't seem to have a vice, unless you counted his bizarre, semi-romantic relationship with Servalan.

There were other people, more relatively normal. There was Karin Chakwas, whose cool and calm demeanour reminded her a little of an older version of Cally, and Jenkins, an overeager soldier who seemed set for getting killed stupidly on the battlefield.

And now, on their shakedown cruise for the SSV _Normandy_ , Anderson had brought along another friend, a comrade and someone he had taken under his wing before. Commander Jane Shepard, the hero of the Skyllian Blitz.

Dayna had more than a bit of scepticism about what defined a hero, even without Avon's acid-tongued input. The only person on the _Liberator_ to believe he was a hero was that swaggering idiot Tarrant. Okay, he was a good shot and a better pilot, but he often acted without thinking, and Avon, for all his snide remarks, did tend to do the opposite, though he also had a superiority complex the size of a small moon, at the very least.

But Jane Shepard was probably the closest you could get. The red-haired woman was attractive, albeit in an understated way, and certainly went without makeup while in her uniform or in her battle armour. Her bearing, while all-business while she was on duty, still was friendly enough. She certainly had the charisma to be a leader. She had even visited Dayna before take-off to discuss weapons. Jane certainly knew more about weapons than the average soldier, though not as much as Dayna. The older woman had also expressed surprise at Dayna's relative youth.

A less-welcome passenger was a Turian by the name of Nihlus Kryik. He wasn't actually nasty, though those white, death's head-like markings on his reptilian face was unnerving. In fact, he was quite polite. But Dayna remembered him as a Spectre, and what was more, one of the people involved in interrogating her and the others when they first arrived on the Citadel.

Spectres…although this universe was not anywhere near as bad as the one Dayna left far behind, Spectres did seem very much like something Servalan would have cooked up. Special Tactics and Reconnaissance, so the acronym was supposed to stand for. They were basically special agents with permission to use any tactics, including illegal ones, in order to obtain their goals. The only people they were answerable to were the Galactic Council, a triumvirate composed of leaders from the Turians, the Asari, and the Salarians.

Dayna remembered stories Avon, Cally, and Vila spoke of Space Commander Travis, tasked by Servalan to use any means necessary to kill Blake and capture the Liberator. The fanatical man used all means at his disposal, almost all of them brutal and foul. However, Travis' increasing failures meant that Servalan eventually abandoned him, and he set out on his own, not just to destroy Blake, but to bring down the civilisation that had abandoned him. One of his last acts was to help the Andromedans bring down part of the galactic minefield that prevented them from entering in force. However, Avon killed Travis, shooting him and sending him into a reactor outlet to his death(2).

The few Spectres that she had met, however, had less of the same vibe. Nihlus Kryik, and there was that Asari, Tela Vasir. They acted as professionals, not fanatics. Dayna was still wary, though. As much as any government needed a dirty tricks unit, she was still understandably wary of anyone given such power and licence to use it. And she had heard about one Spectre in particular: Saren Arterius. Nihlus' mentor, but a rabid xenophobe against humans.

Ah, speak of the devil, and he's at your shoulder. He was coming down to talk to her, after talking to her briefly at the crew assembly.

"Quartermaster Mellanby," the Turian said, politely, his voice having the distinctive flanging distortion all Turians had. "Would you mind checking my pistol over?"

As he handed the weapon over, she raised an eyebrow. "You're very trusting, giving your weapon to someone on an unfamiliar ship."

"True, but only a fool trusts his life to a single weapon, or any at all, save for the mind," Nihlus said. "And given what I know of your past and abilities, Quartermaster, I trust you enough. It is also a foolish decision to antagonise a Spectre."

"I don't want to," Dayna said, as she expertly stripped the weapon down, barely even glancing at it. "It's a good weapon. Precision gear, too. A good tool for an assassin."

"Says the former revolutionary," Nihlus chided gently.

"I'm surprised you didn't say terrorist."

"Sometimes, the line doesn't exist. Of course, the one we were closest to incarcerating was Kerr Avon. But crimes committed in another universe may be hard to prosecute."

"Avon…what happened to him? Do you know? I haven't seen him since Vila punched him and Tarrant. Haven't even heard from him."

"Well, he's been recruited by the Shadow Broker as one of the Broker's agents."

"Who?"

"An information broker who will sell information on anything, as long as the price is right. From petty criminals to even the Council, he has customers and agents everywhere. Avon was recruited for both his hacking skills and combat ability."

"I'm surprised he agreed," Dayna remarked. "He never liked being leashed to anyone."

"The financial incentive is what helped. I have had dealings with him on occasion." A silence fell as Dayna continued to disassemble the gun, and then check the pieces. "Speaking of former comrades, it may interest you to know that we are heading to Eden Prime for the shakedown cruise of the _Normandy_."

Dayna nodded. "I've heard rumours that we were heading that way for the shakedown voyage. I just didn't know why."

Nihlus looked around with understated furtiveness, before gesturing her closer. "A Prothean beacon was found on Eden Prime. It was decided to send the _Normandy_ in to pick it up, just in case belligerent factions decided to make a play for it."

"And they decided to send a Spectre for additional insurance?" Dayna asked.

"Amongst other things," Nihlus said. "I can't say anything more."

Dayna nodded, and returned to examining the pistol. Eventually, finding nothing wrong as far as she could tell, she began to re-assemble it. As she did so, she said, "I sent a message to Vila about it. Nothing that would contravene regulations, obviously, I had Anderson vet it. I presume you brought this up because you think I may want to see Vila?"

"We will only be on Eden Prime for a few hours at most, if things go well. But there may be enough time for you to say hello to Mr Restal. I've discussed it with Captain Anderson. But we can't guarantee it."

"Hmm. I'm not sure we have much to talk about, anyway. It's not a time either of us would like to think about. Maybe that time he thwarted Bayban the Butcher and saved an entire race(3). That was probably his finest hour, and one of our few triumphs."

Nihlus chuckled. "Perhaps you can tell me one of these days. That sounds like an interesting story."

Dayna soon finished putting the pistol back together. Nihlus gave it a cursory, if careful, check, and then holstered it. "I'm going up to the bridge. It'll be time to see if this 'Joker' is good enough to be trusted with this ship."

"He is," Dayna said. As Nihlus left the cargo area, Dayna was left alone once more.

Did she want to see Vila again? Actually, to be honest, she wouldn't mind seeing how that reprobate was doing, if she had the chance. His messages suggested he was doing well enough, being a security consultant on Eden Prime: that is, being a locksmith of sorts. It surprised her that he had gone completely legit. She wondered whether he still drank as much as he used to.

As the _Normandy_ prepared to leave Arcturus Station, she heard Joker say over the PA, " _This is your pilot speaking. You are now flying Joker Airways. Please ensure that your seatbelts remain fastened until the sign goes dark._ "

Anderson was sure to reprimand him for a remark like that, but Dayna giggled anyway. The ship moved like a dream, with barely any movement. Even the _Liberator_ wasn't quite so smooth, not all the time.

Strange, how so much of the technology in the universe seemed to be based on the advances of the Protheans. Even this ship, and the Mass Effect technology that formed the basis of these weapons, had been made from the scraps the Protheans left behind. But given all that technology, what had happened to their empire? Some sort of war, perhaps? In-fighting? Or maybe a great plague? Something had destroyed their civilisation ridiculously thoroughly.

Some time later, the unexpected happened. General stations was called, and Dayna instantly began prepping weapons, as was her duty. Anderson eventually called her over her omnitool, and told her that Eden Prime was under attack. Some unknown force was assaulting the planet, and given the presence of the Beacon, it was likely that their target was the beacon.

She was told that they saw Vila during the brief distress call video. And they were the only ships in the vicinity. Soon, Shepard, Jenkins, and Alenko were down, having donned their armour. Dayna wished she could go with them, but Anderson and Nihlus made it clear that they were going to put down as few as possible: Nihlus as a recon scout, and Shepard, Jenkins, and Alenko as a squad to secure the Beacon.

As they arrived at Eden Prime, and first Nihlus, then Shepard's team left the ship, Anderson turned to Dayna. "Looks like this got more complicated."

"Just like old times," Dayna sighed, thinking of that time so long ago…

 **CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **This fic isn't dead by any means. In fact, it has the dubious honour of being the next to be updated after I finished (with a gargantuan effort)** ** _Harry Potter and the Cetra Heritage_** **. Hopefully, there'll be some people who enjoy it. One person certainly did, and I am answering their review.**

 **paladin3030** **: Thanks for your kind words, especially for my spot-on (as you put it) characterisation of Vila. I think it's a shame Vila was so put-upon. I would have thought that, away from Blake and the Federation, he would thrive. And while he did say in** ** _The City at the Edge of the World_** **that thieving was his life (or something along those lines), I would think that, if he got the chance for a peaceful life, he'd take it. He hasn't gone completely straight, so to speak, but his indulgence in a bit of smuggling is enough to keep his desire for illegal activity in check. He relishes the challenge of keeping people like him out, having been so frequently able to break into so many places.**

 **I could see Blake as a vigilante, a bit like Garrus on Omega, but I think by the time of the last episode of** ** _Blake's 7_** **, he was changing significantly away from the man he once was. No, Shepard is not his reincarnation. If anything, she probably will be closer to a reincarnation of Cally, albeit without the damsel in distress bits that Cally seemed to unfortunately fall into.**

 **I think I had already decided to have the next chapter from Dayna's point of view before I saw your review. The next chapter will be back to Vila as he struggles to survive against the Geth. And he may have a big impact on the story, albeit unwittingly.**

 **Ooh, Servalan in the** ** _Mass Effect_** **-verse? It was something I had considered when I thought up the disintegrator idea, and it seems that great minds think alike. The problem is, finding the right place for her to come in. Who will she align herself with? I'm leaning towards either the Shadow Broker, or ending up in Omega. Or even…holy crap, I just thought of her being in** ** _Cerberus!_** **Oh, shit that is perfect! The question is, when will she make an appearance in this fic? Assuming I get far enough for her to appear.**

 **Oh, and I have the perfect story idea for Avon's opening chapter. He saves Tali. Yes. I am not making this up…well, yes, I am making it up, but that's the story idea I have. I mean, he is an agent for the Shadow Broker after all, and given that Tali has information the Broker wants, well…it'll be interesting to see how Avon and Tali get along. It'll be a bit like the dynamic between him and Cally, as Tali has some of Cally's relative naïveté, and he will sneer at her for it. But he also will respect her technical skills, and he also doesn't share the prejudice most have towards the Quarians. If anything, he found the history of the Quarians and Geth most amusing, something that will piss Tali off.**

 **Anyway, enough gabbing about plot points to come.**

 **1\. The cast members of** ** _Blake's 7_** **called the** ** _Liberator_** **blasters 'hair-dryers'. Goes to show.**

 **2\. Travis being betrayed by Servalan happens during** ** _Trial_** **, after the events of** ** _Pressure Point_** **. It is in** ** _Star One_** **that he betrays humanity to the Andromedans. The vicious and driven Space Commander first appeared in** ** _Seek-Locate-Destroy_** **.**

 **3\. Events which occurred in** ** _The City at the Edge of the World_** **, Vila's finest hour. Bayban the Butcher, a ruthless mercenary and criminal, was played by Colin Baker, then yet to play the Sixth Doctor from** ** _Doctor Who_** **. You can find a clip on YouTube easily. A good clip is called 'Colin Baker in Blake's 7', and runs for about a minute and forty seconds. For fans of** ** _Mass Effect_** **more than** ** _Blake's 7_** **, who are curious about the latter, it's also a good clip showing Vila.**


	10. Short Change Heroes Chapter 3

_**SHORT CHANGE HEROES**_

 **CHAPTER 3:**

 **FUBAR**

Vila was better at running than he was at shooting. He had gotten separated from Williams during the whole conflict with the Geth invaders, and had chosen to react to the situation as per his usual idiom: running away.

This wasn't to say that he didn't fight. Whenever a Geth got in the way, he shot it. Whenever he saw someone in trouble, he helped them and told them to hide somewhere safe. But he was no gung-ho marine, and he was certainly not on Blake or Avon's crew anymore. He had retired from a life of being shot at and shooting people.

And yet, here he was, doing that, though whether the Geth counted as people was highly debatable. He remembered the bulky, clumsy but intimidating guard robots of the Federation. Servalan would have drooled at these flashlights on legs who moved and fought more like soldiers.

They were impaling some of the colonists on extendable metal stakes, like some latter-day robotic clones of Vlad the Impaler. Vila didn't know whether the stakes had a purpose beyond psychological warfare, but he was determined not to become a human shish-kebab.

And then, there was that huge bloody THING that had lowered itself out of the sky, like a gigantic squid looking to rape the very ground. It was a spaceship, but like none he had ever seen. The _Liberator_ was, in many regards, like a living being, but this thing was even more so.

He also saw a sleek spaceship scream overhead, stopping only briefly a couple of times, before heading back into space. He scowled. So much for a rescue, he thought sullenly.

He made his way to the spaceport, hoping to find a good hiding spot, and heard a hiss of a very familiar voice. "Vila… _Vila!_ "

Vila turned to find a familiar face squatting behind some crates. "Powell? What're you doing there?"

"Hiding, what the hell does it look like?" Powell hissed. The bearded, scraggy-looking dockworker was the leader of a small-scale smuggling ring Vila occasionally helped out with. "Go and hide somewhere else, there's a really scary Turian wandering around out there. I saw him killing others."

Vila scowled at being told to find somewhere else to hide. His intentions were to find somewhere very secure to hide, but a pile of crates on the other side of the spaceport had to do when he realised someone was coming. He dove behind them, and watched as a Turian strode from the direction of other parts of the spaceport complex. He felt a chill down his spine. There were three reasons for that. The first, and all that Vila really needed, was that his self-preservation instincts were screaming at him to run like hell. The second was that the Turian had no face-markings, none of that face-paint that they liked to adorn their face with, and while he didn't know that much of Turian culture (other than that they were highly militarised), he knew that those who chose to eschew face-markings were distrusted. And finally, there was the ridiculous amount of cybernetics the Turian had.

The Turian was looking around when another Turian, this one with skull-like face-markings approached. Vila's eyes widened. He knew that Turian, if those face-markings were any indication: it was Nihlus! Nihlus, one of the Spectres who had interrogated him and the others when they first arrived in this universe. And it seemed he was surprised to find the other Turian there, whom he called Saren.

Saren was claiming that he had been sent to help Nihlus on his mission (was he a Spectre too?), but as Nihlus turned to take in all the devastation the Geth were causing, Vila watched as Saren levelled a gun at Nihlus' skull.

Now, Vila was no hero. And to tell the truth, he didn't like Nihlus and the way he had interrogated him when they first came to this universe. But Nihlus at least was just doing his job. Whereas this Saren was Bad News with a capital B.

Which is why Vila screamed, "LOOK OUT!"

Nihlus turned to find Saren about to shoot him, and made to dive to the side. He was already moving when Saren fired. But it wasn't fast enough. A spray of blue spat from Nihlus' head, and he toppled to the ground. Saren made to fire again, before Vila shot at him, stupidly and impulsively. The orange flicker of shields showed up (of course), and Vila was forced to dive over a railing and twist his ankle on the ground a few metres below to avoid Saren's return fire. He was getting too old for impulsive acts of heroism.

He waited for Saren to try and finish him off, only to hear a snarl, and retreating footsteps. Not long after that, he heard a strange sound in the distance, and could see, just beyond the railing, that bloody calamari-like ship lift off, red bolts of energy crackling around it. And soon, he saw a squad of three soldiers coming towards him. He recognised Ashley, but not the other two, a man and a woman who had the distinctive uniform of Alliance soldiers. He tried to get to his feet, only to crumple with a cry of pain from his twisted ankle.

The man was on him immediately, administering Medi-Gel. "Who is this civilian, Williams?" the woman asked Williams in a no-nonsense tone.

"Vila Restal," Ashley said. "Former thief, turned security consultant."

The woman frowned. "I know that name. He is also a known former associate of my quartermaster, if the file is to be believed(1)," she muttered.

"Wait, quartermaster?" Vila said, as the man helped him to his feet. "D'you mean Dayna?"

"Yes, but that's not important. What're you doing here?"

"Frankly? Looking for somewhere to lay low." Seeing the looks on their faces, he said, "I'm not a bloody fighter! Not for want of people putting me into dangerous situations anyway. Incidentally, did you come with a Turian?"

"Nihlus?" the woman asked. "Yes. Why?"

"Well, let's just say that he's come a cropper," Vila said.

* * *

Soon, they were gathered around the body of Nihlus Kryik, blood oozing from his head. The man, who turned out to be called Kaidan Alenko, had announced to Vila's surprise, that Nihlus was still alive, albeit in a bad way. The bullet had only grazed Nihlus' skull, but he was out cold and in danger of brain damage.

The woman, Commander Jane Shepard, then began to question Vila. Vila gave as much information as he could. The woman was basically like Cally, with just the right mixture of firmness and sympathy. He was, after all, a civilian effectively pressganged into fighting.

Powell also came out, and Shepard had them wait with Nihlus for medevac, as they had cleared out the Geth who were nearby. She and her team had to go and secure the Prothean beacon. Seemed like the rumours were true after all. No wonder a Spectre was here, not to mention soldiers from the Alliance. Seemed like a pretty small strike team, though. There were only two, not counting Ashley.

Time passed. And then, Alenko and Williams came back, dragging the comatose body of Shepard between them. "What happened?" Vila asked.

"The Beacon happened," Kaidan spat. "We destroyed the Geth, and disarmed some bombs they had left behind, but the Beacon somehow began drawing me in when I got too close. Shepard pushed me out of the way, and got hit with…something. Then, it blew up."

Vila watched as they laid Shepard out and removed her helmet. Quite pretty, and that red hair was something. "Meddling with ancient alien artifacts is never a good thing," Vila muttered. "I speak from experience. Is she all right?"

"Out cold, but as far as I can tell, she's in nowhere near as bad a way as Nihlus," Kaidan said. "Christ, what a balls-up!"

"I believe the technical term is FUBAR, Lieutenant," Ashley said, with an air that was meant to be wry, but came out as bitter.

Alenko scowled, though not at her. Just at the whole mission. He then looked up. "We'll need the three of you on the _Normandy_ for debriefing. By the way, what did Shepard mean by you knowing our quartermaster?"

Vila decided to plump for part of the truth. "We knew each other for quite a while. Not like that, obviously. But we were…acquaintances." He wasn't sure whether he should use the word 'comrade', as that may lead to all sorts of awkward questions. "Is Dayna still a gun nut?"

Alenko chuckled a bit at that. "Sounds like you know her. Show her a weapon, and within a minute, she knows it inside and out."

"Same for me, except for locks," Vila said. "Don't even need omnigel. I've since retired from the thieving business, though. Better for one's reputation to work on preventing thefts than working on them."

"You used to be a thief?" Alenko asked.

"Of a sort. Pickpocketing, safecracking…" Vila shrugged. "But I had to get out of that business. I nearly got murdered."

"Stole from the wrong people?" Alenko asked.

"Well, the right people, but the wrong people to annoy," Vila said amiably. "Cerberus, for example."

It was a lie, but one they would buy. The pro-human special ops group and virtually a terrorist organisation was infamous.

* * *

Once on board the _Normandy_ , Vila was grilled for a couple of hours by Captain Anderson. He related what he knew to the captain, who he had met before when he first arrived on the Citadel, and who knew something about his past.

Anderson told Vila that he would probably have to testify to the Citadel Council in person. Saren Arterius was a Spectre working for the Council. Powell's testimony wasn't as detailed.

"If he's a Spectre, he might know about me," Vila protested. "You know, where I come from, what I did…"

"That's true," Anderson conceded, "but Powell's testimony was more conflicted and fragmentary. In addition, I've been checking the damage reports from Eden Prime. It's still early days yet, but the residential block where you resided was badly damaged. Once you're done with the testimony, we'll bring you back. And besides, I thought you might want to catch up with Dayna."

"True," Vila said with a smile. "But, well, I just wanted a quiet life. No more Blake, or Avon, or Federation. Seems like the universe seems set on taking the quiet life away from me, huh?"

* * *

Vila acceded to Anderson's request to go to the Citadel. He dropped by the medical bay to check on Shepard and Nihlus. Nihlus was still in a fairly precarious condition, while Shepard appeared to be in a deep sleep.

He was then escorted to the cargo bay (the bloody elevator taking ages to do so, and he had no idea why), and soon found himself in the company of an old friend. "Vila, how are you?" Dayna asked. She looked happier to see him than she ever had been before. At least in her case, absence made the heart grow fonder.

"Fine enough, considering Eden Prime got shot up by a bunch of walking flashlights led by a rogue Turian, and the planet got molested by a giant squid-monster spaceship," Vila said deadpan.

"Just like old times?" Dayna asked facetiously.

"No. Back home, we would have had the Federation shooting at us," Vila remarked. He then closed his eyes and shuddered, the good feelings in the air dissipating quite swiftly. "God, Dayna, it was Hell down there. The Geth were impaling colonists, and Williams told me later that it turned them into sort of cybernetic zombies…and I don't know how many of my friends made it out alive. And now, I'm going to have to testify to the bloody Citadel Council that one of their Spectres got shot by another one." Vila sighed heavily. "Ashley had it right: she called this situation FUBAR."

"Ashley?" Dayna asked. "Is she a girlfriend?"

Vila's eyes widened. "What? No! She's a friend, well, an acquaintance of sorts. She worked for the local troops on Eden Prime. If I tried anything, she'd probably have a dozen ways to kill me."

Dayna laughed. "Calm down, Vila. It's okay. But it's good to see you after so long. Really, it is. And I'm glad that you're safe."

"Safe being a relative term if a Spectre decides to come gunning for me," Vila moaned. "Still, it could be worse. I could have Avon gunning for me."

Dayna chuckled. "True. I wonder what he's doing now?"

"Probably being very isolated, and very rich," Vila said. He was hoping that he at least had seen the last of Kerr Avon.

Even so, he did wonder, for the briefest of moments, what Avon was doing now. Hopefully, it was something very painful and/or annoying.

 **CHAPTER 3 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Yes, this fic isn't dead! I just needed to get other stuff out of the way. Then again, this is probably the least-read of my fanfics. Go figure.**

 **So, the first deviation from the** ** _Mass Effect_** **storyline: Nihlus is alive, and Vila will be giving testimony to the Citadel Council. Next chapter: Avon rescues Tali!**

 **1\. I presume Shepard read a file on some of her crewmembers. Or maybe Anderson directed her to the file on Dayna. Hence why she knows about Vila's connection to Dayna.**


	11. Short Change Heroes Chapter 4

_**SHORT CHANGE HEROES**_

 **CHAPTER 4:**

 **KERR AVON, AGENT OF THE SHADOW BROKER**

While Avon's situation couldn't be considered painful, it was certainly incredibly irritating and annoying at this point in time. In the aftermath of his rather violent parting with Vila and the others (really, he didn't know that the timid little man had it in him…though he did punch out Arlen on Gauda Prime(1)), he had found himself at a loose end. He was free from the Federation, free from the shackles of Blake's revolution, which he had adopted to try and gain some semblance of freedom…and now, he was free in another universe. Of course, he needed to find something to apply himself to. He was a man who couldn't let his mind and skills lie fallow. It was abhorrent to a man of his not inconsiderable intellect.

It was one of the Spectres who had interrogated him and his fellow former revolutionaries who approached him, the Asari. Tela Vasir worked for the Shadow Broker, a famous and anonymous information broker who sold information of all kinds to the highest bidder. Given that Avon had skills as a hacker, as well as in fighting, he seemed like an ideal agent for such a being.

Officially, Avon was assistant to Barla Von, a Volus financial advisor. And while he was Von's assistant in truth, what Avon often did for Von was different. It rankled at Avon to have a master once more, to be on someone's leash, but at least the work was interesting and mentally taxing. While he didn't lack for such opportunities on the _Liberator_ , it was more interesting to do it from a position of relative safety, than being on the run all the time.

Of course, there were times when the missions he was sent on irritated him. And as it seemed that he was going to have to save some naïve idiot's life, this was one of them.

They had received a call from an associate of the Shadow Broker, who had learned that a young Quarian possibly had information regarding Saren Arterius. And that said Quarian had been attacked not long after coming into this information. She had just contacted Fist, who she had been told was an agent of the Shadow Broker. Fist was, but Barla Von was confused that Fist hadn't contacted them, and the Shadow Broker, when contacted about the matter, said it was in hand, but if he wanted, Avon could go and help protect the damsel.

Hence why Avon was currently stalking through the Lower Wards of the Citadel, a gun at the ready. The girl had recently left the clinic of one Dr Chloe Michel, whom he advised to close up shop for the time being. He wasn't sure why he bothered: collateral damage wasn't something he was bothered by, despite his taunting Blake about the latter's apparent apathy towards it. But if Michel heeded his warning, then he may at least gain a contact if he needed one.

He found the Quarian after a prolonged period of searching as she began to head down a remote, out-of-the-way corridor. While such a place was a good place to conduct covert dealings like she was about to do, it was also a good place to get murdered quietly. Of course, that was what was probably going to happen unless he intervened. He also wondered what the Shadow Broker's game was. While the Shadow Broker being evasive was nothing new, this seemed new itself. Perhaps Fist had gone rogue, and the Shadow Broker was giving the man enough rope so he could hang himself with it.

He made his way to the corridor, and said to the Quarian, "It's never a good idea to head into an isolated area alone. I thought Quarians had some semblance of intelligence, given your technological ability."

She wheeled around. Even as she prepared her omnitool and summoned a drone, Avon studied her. Like all Quarian females that he had seen, she was somewhat attractive, in an exotic way. Her purple bodysuit hugged an hourglass figure that seemed mostly human, though the knees faced the opposite way, and there were only two toes on the feet and three fingers on each hand. A veil of some kind was draped over her helmet, while two glowing eyes peered out at him, suspiciously, from behind the mostly opaque visor. "Who are you?" she asked, her voice given a distinctive digital filtering by the comms system of her suit.

Avon put his hands in the air, even the one with the gun. "My name is Kerr Avon. I believe you must be Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. I work with Barla Von, and we work for the Shadow Broker."

"If you're not working with Fist, then why are you here?"

"I am here to make sure the deal goes off without a hitch. Anyway, you must've smelt a rat when he suggested this isolated area. Then again, cooped up in those suits, Quarians mustn't smell much." Avon privately added to himself that he wasn't sure whether that was a blessing or a curse. A blessing, because they couldn't smell the excrement and refuse and other bad smells civilisation tended to produce. A curse, because they couldn't so much as smell a flower.

"Don't try anything," Tali'Zorah said warningly, cradling a shotgun.

"If I had, I would have shot you in the back as soon as I could get a clear shot. I do not talk or negotiate unless there is something to get out of it," Avon said coldly.

Soon enough, a small group of Fist's enforcers, led by a Turian, came through. The Turian frowned when he saw Avon. "Get lost, Avon. This doesn't concern you."

"It concerns Barla Von, and thus it concerns me. Once Miss Zorah concludes her business, then I will leave."

Tali'Zorah, however, seemed to frown. "Where's Fist? I was told I was meeting with him."

"He couldn't come. Now, the data…"

"No. Unless Fist is here, the deal's off!" But as Tali'Zorah turned to leave, Avon saw the Turian levelling a weapon. Just as he raised his own, the Quarian, warned by some instinct, turned and flung a stun grenade at them. Avon then grabbed her, and pulled her behind cover, ducking up only to shoot the Turian through the skull.

"It seems that the deal was never on," Avon remarked dryly as he got back behind cover.

"I thought you said that you worked for the Shadow Broker! And I was told Fist did too!"

"Do not believe everything that you are told, Miss Zorah, as it may get you killed. For example, you do not need that environment suit, as you will not die a horrible death from germs with different chiralities." With that acidic jibe, Avon shot another of Fist's thugs. As he ducked again, he also saw a small group of people in military gear coming down the alley. Three humans, presumably from the Systems Alliance, a Krogan he was sure was the mercenary Urdnot Wrex, and a Turian that he knew: a rather annoyingly-principled C-Sec officer called Garrus Varkarian. Varkarian was rather like Tarrant, but with more principles and more willing to have an intelligent conversation. At least when he was off-duty. Avon liked him, albeit in a grudging manner.

The resulting battle was short-lived. As the last agent of Fist expired, one of the humans, a woman, called, "Kerr Avon? Barla Von sent us."

"And how do I know that?" Avon asked.

"Being entitled to your opinions is all very well,

But thinking others are entitled to them is annoying as hell."

"What was that?" Tali'Zorah asked.

"Password, based on something I once said," Avon said(2). He stood, lowering his weapon. "Though Barla Von's ability as a poet, like that of most Volus, leaves a lot to be desired. Now, who are you, and what do you want with Miss Zorah here?"

The woman who spoke, who had red hair framing rather attractive features, albeit set in a determined look, said, "Commander Shepard, Systems Alliance. Tali'Zorah has something we need, evidence against Spectre Saren Arterius. Barla Von told us about her."

"And Fist?"

"Dead," rumbled the Krogan. "I blew his brains out."

"Surprising," Avon remarked. "I mean, that he had much in the way of brains to begin with."

"With a tongue like that, you could only be Avon," said the one man in the group. "Dayna and Vila said a lot about you."

Avon frowned. "Dayna and Vila? I knew Dayna worked for the Alliance, but Vila? I thought the little lush had retired to Eden Prime."

"Eden Prime?" Tali'Zorah gasped. "But…listen, Commander Shepard, if you are with the Alliance, then you will need to hear this."

"We'll head to the embassy," Shepard said. She then looked at Avon. "Eden Prime has been attacked. Your friend Vila is there, being debriefed."

"We aren't friends. The last time we saw each other, he punched me. Not without some justification, though I am surprised that he had it in him. Besides, friends are something of a luxury."

"Cold," the man remarked. "Then again, Dayna said something about you nearly shoving Vila out of an airlock(3)."

"Enough," Shepard said. "You two, come with me."

"Yes, ma'am," Avon remarked acidly.

* * *

Avon didn't like Ambassador Udina, to say the least. He was clearly one of those people promoted just beyond their competence zone. An almost perpetually angry, grizzled little lump of a man who would have done either very badly, or very well back in the Terran Federation. He probably had just enough political acumen to do competently at this job.

He was, surprisingly, more happy to see the balding little rodent of a man that was Vila Restal, who was nursing some sort of drink, with the familiar form of Anderson nearby. He looked up, and groaned. "Oh no, and here I was thinking my week couldn't get any worse."

"Don't worry," Avon said with a sardonic grin. "It will soon get much worse."

Udina looked at Avon, and then at Vila. "You two know each other?"

"We have more than a little history," Avon said. "The last time we met, which was when we first arrived on the Citadel, he punched me. Not without reason, though. I have to say I was impressed. I didn't know Vila had it in him. Kerr Avon, agent of the Shadow Broker, at your service. Thanks to myself, as well as Commander Shepard, you have a Quarian with an interesting bit of information, regarding Saren Arterius, and Eden Prime."

This got the Ambassador's interest. And Tali'Zorah soon played back an audio file she had salvaged from a Geth. When he heard the second part of the recording, of who was talking to Saren, he began to laugh.

"What's so damned funny, Avon?" Anderson demanded.

"Don't you know who that is?" Avon said, between laughs. "It's bad enough that you're accusing Saren Arterius of treachery…but now, you're accusing one of the top Asari Matriarchs of the same! Matriarch Benezia!" He laughed again. "What next, one of the Turian Primarchs?"

"This is not a joke, Avon," Shepard said coolly.

Avon managed to calm himself down, before facing her. "Life is a joke, Shepard. A cruel prank played by the universe on a continual basis. By this point, I wouldn't be surprised if Servalan ended up here."

Vila scowled. "Avon, don't tempt the universe…"

* * *

"… _we're in enough trouble as it is._ "

"Oh dear," a rather charismatic, older man, with eerily glowing eyes, remarked, as he looked out over a star from his darkened office. "It seems that for all of his intelligence, Kerr Avon has a tendency to tempt fate."

A faint chuckle from behind him. Only the knowledge that his bodyguards are on the alert comforts him, as he wouldn't let this person behind him otherwise. "He likes to live dangerously. Why else would he not kill me after he had so many opportunities?" purred the throaty voice of a woman, seductive and sensuous.

A faint buzzing noise, like a beehive, preceded a fussy, pedantic voice. " _The distinct probability is that he felt some form of attraction to you. Personally, I think it was a waste of his intellect_ …"

"Oh, shut up, Orac," said the woman's voice. "Your opinion is irrelevant. I only want facts from you."

The man, known only as the Illusive Man to almost everyone, chuckled, turning in his seat to see a slender woman with an elfin, cruel face and short, boyish black hair, dressed in glamorous clothing (as always). She was sitting in her own seat, glaring at a Perspex box filled with unusual circuitry. The buzzing noise emanated from said box.

" _Opinions are, at their best, an extrapolation of established facts. If you wish me to function to my full capacity, then I will give opinions, unwarranted or not._ "

The woman sighed, removing a small Perspex rectangle from the box, and the buzzing noise swiftly quietened. "Damnation, Ensor(4), why did you have to give your damned computer so much of your personality?"

"All creators put themselves into their work," the Illusive Man said with a smile.

The woman stood, placing the box on the ground, and then sashayed forward. "And you are creating a better galaxy."

"A galaxy where humans are above all others."

"What other kind is there?" the woman asked wryly.

The Illusive Man nodded, looking out at the spectacular view. "It was something of a surprise to find you here, a few months ago. Of course, I daresay that your former…adversaries? They'd be even more surprised, wouldn't they, Servalan?"

Servalan, formerly Supreme Commander of the Galactic Federation's Military, formerly President of the Galactic Federation, and formerly Commissioner Sleer, smiled. "Oh yes. I daresay it would be the biggest surprise of their lives…and probably their last…"

 **CHAPTER 4 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **And there you have it: Avon rescuing Tali, and Servalan making an appearance! I should thank Paladin3030 for inspiring me to bring Servalan into this fic. There'll be more details as to how she ended up in this universe in a later chapter.**

 **Once more, though, it will probably be a very long time before you get a new chapter. Sorry, but I have other, more interesting fics. This fic is NOT abandoned yet, though, and I might produce more chapters once I start a new playthrough of** ** _Mass Effect_** **.**

 **Review-answering time!** **Overlord-Zenorac** **: Well, here he is. Hope he doesn't disappoint.**

 **jsopenshaw** **: When I saw your review, I was astonished that anyone was reading this fic anymore. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed the previous chapter.**

 **1\. Only to get shot: see** ** _Blake_** **, the final episode of** ** _Blake's 7_** **, for details.**

 **2\. Namely based on lines from** ** _Bounty_** **. I love that line. Vila says "I'm entitled to my opinion", and Avon retorts, "It's your assumption that we're ALL entitled to it that is irritating."**

 **3\. Another reference to the events of** ** _Orbit_** **.**

 **4\. Ensor was the creator of Orac, and appeared in the episode titled** ** _Orac_** **, the final episode of the first series of** ** _Blake's 7_** **. He died during the episode, though. Dorian, in** ** _Rescue_** **, notes that Orac is much like Ensor, irascible and graceless.**


	12. Warping Bounty Hunter Luffy Chapter 1

**This story may be familiar to those who read _The Forbidden ANBU Files_ , as I posted the first chapter of a variation of this story in there. This was the original. That being said, I realised that Luffy was too OP in this, and while I intend to do a _One Piece_ story sooner or later, either a pure fic or a crossover, it's not happening any time soon. Still, I hope you enjoy this story anyway. I'm just posting what I did of it before I decided not to continue it for your reading delight...  
**

* * *

 _ **WARPING BOUNTY HUNTER LUFFY**_

 **CHAPTER 1:**

 **THE NAVIGATOR GIRL AND THE WARP BOY**

The orange-haired girl cursed as she struggled to keep the small boat from capsizing as the Sea King attacked. She was regretting coming so close to Dawn Island. She was hoping she could come ashore at Foosha Village, wait out the massive storm she knew was coming from her preternatural skills in meteorology, and then head back out to sea once it had passed. Instead, she had to contend with this damned oversized ornery eel that seemed set on making a meal of her, even though she doubted she would be anything more than a mere snack to it.

As the massive creature decided it had enough of her trying to evade it, it reared up over her ship, its maw open in a snarl. The girl dived desperately out of the way, but the force of the impact sent her flying. Not into the water, but then again, hitting one's head on the rail wasn't that much better, seeing as it only delayed the inevitable. And the impact all but bifurcated the boat, ensuring that, even if the creature didn't kill her, it would sink, consigning her to a watery grave. After all, a concussion was not conducive to swimming, even if she was close enough to shore to warrant it…assuming she didn't have a monster hungry for human flesh after her, anyway.

Through swimming vision, darkness eating at the edges, the girl watched as the massive Sea King peered at her, ready to gulp her down. Tears trickled from her eyes as she thought of her sister and those in the town. Those that she had failed, leaving to the not-so-tender mercies of a monster, and the Marines said monster had bribed into looking the other way. All those dangerous thefts from pirates…for nothing.

Suddenly, there was a yell of, "Vworp-Vworp: Space Prison!" And then, a spinning wedge of darkness seemed to spin out of the very sky. It seemed to hit the Sea King, and absorb it, until the wedge showed, for a brief moment, the Sea King, frozen in an instant, before it spun away(1). There was the thump of feet on the deck near her, and she found herself looking into a face looking at her in concern. A boy, about her age, with dark hair and eyes, wearing a battered straw hat on his head, and with a scar just below his left eye. "You okay?" he asked.

"Head hurts…" the girl moaned. Not an intelligent thing to say, admittedly, but she was in pain and concussed, so she could be excused.

The boy nodded, before moving over to the damaged part of the hull. "I'll have to get you to shore. Vworp-Vworp: Transmat!"

Before her disbelieving eyes, she saw her boat and everything on it begin dissolving into square-like particles that seemed to shoot into the sky. She nearly screamed when she saw her own body do the same thing…only to reassemble itself, along with the boy and her boat, on a nearby beach. "Shishishi!" the boy giggled. "It worked!"

The girl was normally not one to faint, but the shock of experiencing all this, combined with a concussion, conspired to make her do so. The last thing she saw was that damned smile on the boy's face…

* * *

Consciousness drifted tantalisingly through her mind, and it took the girl a while to realise that she was still alive, and capable of recognising that fact. However, it was the smell of soup tugging at her nostrils that confirmed it. She wasn't sure they served soup in the afterlife, or at least not in Hell. Not unless the damned were amongst the ingredients, anyway. And she could hear the sound of rain and the rumble of thunder.

Her eyes flickered open, to be greeted with the boy from earlier, smiling gently. "Hey, you're awake," he said, his smile widening. "I'm glad about that."

The girl blinked. She hadn't always been welcomed so warmly, even by non-pirates. But he seemed well-meaning. So she offered a tentative smile of her own. "Me too." She winced as a spike of pain jabbed through her head.

"You'll probably have to stay here for a few days at least, if not more," the boy said. "Aside from the concussion you got, well, the Lord of the Coast really did a number on your boat, and it'll need repairing."

The girl fought down an understandable surge of panic. If they discovered her hoard of coinage, the monies she needed to pay off that monster…would they let her keep it? And she realised that someone had dressed her in pyjamas…suggesting that someone had seen her tattoo. With an effort, she calmed herself down. The boy then said, "The doctor said you might have memory loss or something from that knock. You…do remember your name? What you were doing recently?"

"Of course I do," the girl said.

"Well, what's your name then?"

"Why don't you tell me yours first? You're a stranger."

"Oh, sorry. I'm Monkey D Luffy," the boy said with a grin. "And what about you?"

"…I'm Nami."

"That's a nice name," Luffy said, with a sincerity that seemed oddly endearing to Nami. "I'm sorry if I scared you with what I did earlier."

Nami blinked. Thinking back to what happened, she thought about it, before she said, "You didn't, I was just…astonished and surprised. Let me guess…a Devil Fruit?"

His smile widened. "Yep! Ten years ago, I ate a weird Devil Fruit, one nobody really knew what it'd do. A couple of people think it might even be a Logia! I've been meaning to use it on the Lord of the Coast for a while, but I've been training to master my powers, and, well…" His face fell briefly, before it brightened again. "Gramps would probably call that a field test or something like that."

"Gramps?"

"My grandfather, Monkey D Garp," Luffy said.

Nami felt a chill at those words. This boy was the grandson of Admiral Garp? One of the strongest, if not **_the_** strongest, Marines in the world? She hoped she was mistaken, and that he meant another Garp.

Something must have shown on her face, because he moved to reassure her, patting her hand gently. "Hey, don't worry. Gramps and I don't agree on a lot of things. Anyway…I saw you in trouble, so I decided to see if I could save you."

Nami frowned. "But…if you ate a Devil Fruit, how did you get over to me in the first place? Did you use a boat?"

"Nope. Vworp-Vworp: Transmat!" He disappeared in a blizzard of black, square-like particles that shot through the roof…and then descended near the door, reassembling themselves into the grinning boy. "My Logia is something to do with warping space. That's how I got to your boat, and how I got you and your boat to shore. As long as I've been there, or I can see it clearly, I can warp back and forth. Handy, huh?"

"Very," Nami conceded, once she stopped gaping. "And thanks for helping me, Luffy."

"Shishishishi…no problem!"

"So, am I in Foosha Village?"

"Yep. What brings you here?"

"Well, I knew a storm was coming. I needed to find land, obviously, and, well, I headed here. But that damned monster attacked." A crack of thunder overhead punctuated her point. "I don't want to get caught out in that."

"I don't think anyone wants to be out on the open ocean during a storm," a woman said, bringing in a bowl of soup. She had dark hair and wore a bandanna. "I'm glad to see that you're awake. How do you feel?"

"Like something passed through a shark's guts," Nami muttered.

"You're lucky to be alive. The Lord of the Coast doesn't normally bother larger vessels, but smaller ones…Luffy's been meaning to deal with it for some time."

"Nami, this is Makino. Makino, this is Nami," Luffy said, introducing them. "Makino works here at Partys Bar."

Makino placed the bowl of soup, and the tray it was on, onto Nami's lap. Nami, after a moment, began spooning the soup into her mouth. She had to admit, it tasted good. "Thank you," Nami said.

"You're welcome. Luffy, look after her for the moment. There's customers coming in, especially with the storm, so it's going to be busy."

* * *

As Makino left, Luffy looked at Nami as she gingerly fed herself. Makino had taken Nami's clothes off, and dressed her in spare pyjamas (she had Luffy leave the room for that, having him go and have dinner), though that did little to conceal the size of her breasts. She was rather beautiful, though Makino had remarked, in passing, about the strange tattoo she had seen on Nami's left shoulder. A pretty face, albeit somewhat pensive at the moment, framed by orange hair.

After she finished her soup, Nami put it aside, and then looked at Luffy thoughtfully. Luffy was, occasionally, clueless when it came to how some other people felt…but he knew she was worried. Had there been something precious on the boat that had sunk? Did she have someone waiting for her to come home? Of course, he tried to remedy that in a somewhat blunt manner. "So, Nami, what were you doing sailing around alone?"

Nami looked shocked at the question, and a small part of Luffy, the most sane part of his mind, kicked himself for being incredibly tactless. After a moment's consideration, Nami said, "I'm…what you might call a pirate thief. Pirates steal from others, and, well, I relieve them of their ill-gotten gains. I was between jobs when that storm hit."

"So…you steal from pirates?" Luffy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, yeah. Why? You have a problem with that?"

"Depends on the pirates, really," Luffy said. "I mean, some pirates are nice guys. About ten years ago, Red-Haired Shanks used this village as a port. My hat once belonged to him, and, well, he saved my life from drowning. Lost his arm to the Lord of the Coast. And he took my eating the Devil Fruit he intended to sell rather well, though he at least had the Gum-Gum Fruit left to sell. But others…once, I wanted nothing more than to be King of the Pirates, find the One Piece Gol D Roger left behind. But what do I want to do as a pirate other than that? I've actually been thinking of becoming a bounty-hunter, like Roronoa Zolo. I mean, I don't want to become a Marine. My gramps put me off that. But being a bounty-hunter…well, it means freedom, plus, I can still become the best, while getting rid of the pirates who hurt people. I can really rake in the Berries that way. Plus, I can still look for the One Piece anyway."

He noticed that Nami had become thoughtful at this. "So…you don't have a problem with me stealing from pirates who hurt other people?"

"Pfft, of course not! Even when I wanted to be King of the Pirates, I wanted to beat guys like those up! People who take over a town, terrorise the people while the Marines do bugger-all! Yeah, I heard the stories." Luffy blinked when he saw that Nami's eyes were glistening with tears. "Umm, Nami, are you all right?"

Nami didn't answer him. Instead, she said, "Luffy…do you mind if you leave me alone for a bit? Please?"

"…Okay. I'll get Makino to come and check in on you later," Luffy said. "I'll see you later, Nami…"

* * *

As the boy left, Nami began weeping quietly, thinking of her village, the village Arlong had turned into his own personal base. She thought of her mother, murdered by Arlong, and of her sister Nojiko, still living in fear. She thought of that useless, corrupt bastard Nezumi, that Marine Arlong had bought off. And she thought of Arlong, that monstrous bastard of a Fishman who had turned her into his slave, making maps for him to use.

Luffy had, albeit inadvertently, reopened those wounds, though these were wounds that never truly healed. But the way he spoke of such situations…even as she wept, Nami realised that she might have a potential ally, one with powers and a desire to stop Arlong.

The question was, though, could Nami bring herself to ask for his help?

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **That is, indeed, the question.**

 **So, there you have it. A smarter Luffy with a different Devil Fruit and different ambition, and a chance encounter with Nami that could lead to something more. Yes, we're sailing the good ship Luffy/Nami.**

 **Now, for a bit of explanation for the Vworp-Vworp Fruit. The original idea, the Kamui-Kamui Fruit, came from mellra for a** ** _Naruto_** **crossover. They wanted a Devil Fruit with many of the powers of a** ** _Mangekyou Sharingan_** **, plus elements of Janemba's powers from the** ** _Dragonball Z_** **movie** ** _Fusion Reborn_** **. I adapted some elements of the Kamui-Kamui Fruit (namely the Kamui ability and the Janemba portal and materialisation abilities), and included the warp ability from** ** _The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess_** **, though in combat, the warp ability will look more like Janemba's own ability.**

 **I nearly called it the Warp-Warp Fruit, but a cheeky flash of inspiration hit me, as the Devil Fruit names in Japanese are onomatopoeia, or sound words. I decided to call it the Vworp-Vworp Fruit, after the standard onomatopoeia used in** ** _Doctor Who_** **comics for the TARDIS' distinct sound. As an added bonus, I also used, for one of Luffy's abilities, the term transmat, the standard term for a teleporter or** ** _Star Trek_** **-style Transporter in** ** _Doctor Who_** **. Transmat is derived from 'transmission of matter', if you're wondering what the hell a transmat has to do with teleportation.**

 **1\. I had in mind the Time-Scoop effect from the original version of** ** _Doctor Who: The Five Doctors_** **, though the Phantom Zone effect from the Richard Donner** ** _Superman_** **film might be better known…**


	13. Warping Bounty Hunter Luffy Chapter 2

_**WARPING BOUNTY HUNTER LUFFY**_

 **CHAPTER 2:**

 **NAMI'S CONFESSION AND LUFFY'S DECISION**

Her sleep was surprisingly untroubled, storm noises aside, so Nami woke the following morning refreshed and, aside from a headache, fine. She found her clothes laid out for her in the room, oddly dry considering the storm. She swiftly donned them, and then walked out of the room, finding herself in a bar, where Makino was cleaning a glass. "Ah, Nami, are you all right to walk like that?" Makino asked.

"I've got a headache, but I seem to be all right anyway," Nami said. "Did you clean my clothes?"

"I washed them, and managed to dry them over the fire. I know a few tricks to stop them from shrinking. Luffy asked after you. He's a good kid, even if he's a bit rambunctious."

"Are you his sister or something?"

"Oh, no, no," Makino chuckled. "I am a sort of surrogate mother to him at times, but Luffy's…well, I'm not sure I can call him an orphan, as I don't know whether his father's alive, or his mother for that matter. But his parents are not here."

"Is his grandfather really Admiral Garp?"

"Yes. He's…rather tough on Luffy. Oh, he loves him, but Admiral Garp is very much a proponent of tough love…and tough training. Garp's one of the better Marines in charge, though. He'd probably laugh at what you do, though. Luffy told me you steal from other pirates. That's dangerous, you know. I've told the others something different, just in case, especially the Mayor. I told them you were a bounty hunter between jobs, so if they find a lot of money on your boat, they'll leave it alone. Luffy's guarding your things anyway."

Nami, after a moment, nodded. "Thank you. And there was quite a lot of money, though I guess I'm going to have to use some of that to pay for repairs to the boat."

"You'll probably be here for a week, maybe, unless another boat comes around in the meantime, if you're willing to pay for passage. I've asked Luffy to keep your career quiet, especially from Woop Slap, our mayor. He hates pirates, and in any case, even if you steal from them, he'd be worried about pirates coming to our island to take revenge on you."

"There shouldn't be any fear of that," Nami said, thinking back on her escapades. "I'm careful. But thanks." After a moment, Nami then asked, "Makino…can I ask, how did Luffy get a Devil Fruit? And one that might even be a Logia?"

"It's a bit of a long story, I'm afraid. About ten years ago, Luffy was trying very hard to impress a group of pirates led by Red-Haired Shanks. He's a decent man, Shanks, not like most pirates, and Luffy wanted desperately to join his crew. Luffy, who was feeling hungry, stole a Devil Fruit from a box, one of a couple the pirates had to sell. They didn't even know what one the one Luffy ate was. And after an argument with Shanks over an apparent lack of anger towards mountain bandits who were making trouble, he stormed off, only for Shanks to grab his hand. Then, Luffy's arm dissolved into…well, squares, and they both fell onto the ground. Sometime afterwards, Luffy went to attack the bandit chief, Higuma, and his bandits. And things…went wrong."

The way Makino said that made Nami dread asking. But she did regardless. "Wrong…how?"

Makino gathered herself, before she said, "You haven't seen all of Luffy's abilities yet. He created a portal in space to try and avoid a bandit's attack. The bandit lunged through, Luffy let the portal close…and the bandit was bisected diagonally, from shoulder to hip. Imagine a boy of the age of seven killing. Up until that point, those bandits did little more than harass us and the pirates. But they got angry once they got over their shock. And Luffy…well…" Makino shuddered at the memory, an action Nami mirrored. "When Luffy saw what he had done, he was frozen in shock and horror at what happened. He didn't even resist when Higuma, the bandit leader, began to beat him up. He didn't use the power of the Devil Fruit simply because he was too much in shock at taking a life. Thankfully, Shanks intervened…but Higuma fled on a boat with Luffy as a hostage. However, given how dangerous Luffy was, Higuma opted to throw him overboard to drown, only to be eaten by the Lord of the Coast. Shanks saved him, but not before the Lord of the Coast ate his arm."

Nami was horrified. "So…Luffy killed a man…and that young? He saw death at such an age? I had no idea…"

"No. Luffy hides a lot of his pain. I think, had the same thing happened today, he would have disabled the bandits unless they killed someone. Luffy has a very strong sense of justice. He doesn't want to kill anyone unless they've killed others, especially for the wrong reasons, like for profit or enjoyment. But he didn't use his powers out of fear of them for a long time. I can see it in your eyes, Nami. I tend to notice it when people see someone die at too young an age. You hide it well…but I think you've seen it happen."

Nami was shocked by the perceptiveness of this woman. She was tempted to snap at her for poking her nose into something Nami didn't want her to, before eventually saying, "My adoptive mother was murdered by a Fishman pirate right in front of me, along with my sister, Nojiko." It wasn't the whole truth: she had omitted the fact that Arlong had shanghaied her into his group, and that she was stealing the money to buy back Cocoyashi Village. But it was close enough.

"…I'm sorry. I truly am. Our village is more peaceful than many around the East Blue," Makino said. "Would you like breakfast?"

"…Yeah."

Nami decided to head back to her boat, see if she could get her valuables off it. She hoped Makino was telling the truth when she said Luffy would be trustworthy of guarding them.

She found Luffy on the beach near where her boat had been careened onto the sand, with her treasure chest and the supplies she had of food, water, clothes, navigational paraphernalia, medicine, and so on. He seemed to be taking his job seriously enough, though he was reading one of her chart books, not her log book, thankfully, but a book of maps. As she approached, he looked up, and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, I just wanted to look at your maps. Some of this navigation stuff is a bit beyond me, shishishi."

"It's okay. You didn't go through anything else?"

"Nope. It's your private stuff. I just got bored guarding your things, that's all."

Nami decided to check anyway, opening the chest quickly to see if the contents were all there. They seemed to be, even if they had been tossed about a little by her encounter with the Lord of the Coast. Luffy, who was looking on, whistled. "Wow, you've got a lot of stuff stealing from pirates," he said quietly. "That's got to be millions of Berries right there."

"It's profitable, and pirates aren't exactly in a position to complain, given that they steal this stuff in the first place," Nami said quietly, before shutting the chest. "I'll probably have to use some of this to pay for repairs to the boat and for the food Makino's given me."

"Hey…better you spend a little money than end up dead," Luffy said gently.

Nami flinched at the reassurance. She knew Luffy meant well, but it was a reminder of the money Arlong had extorted from the villagers back home…and the cause of her mother's demise.

Luffy seemed to notice the set of Nami's lips when he made that remark. "Is something wrong?" he asked, apparently hoping he could help her.

Maybe he could. One way or another. He wanted to be a bounty hunter, didn't he? Well, maybe he could be of help. And if he had a Logia…

Nami debated with herself whether to tell him for what felt like ages, before sighing, and sitting down next to him on the beach. "Makino told me about the incident involving the bandits. I saw someone die when I was young too."

Luffy's demeanour became truly solemn. Quietly, he asked, "Did you kill someone too?"

"Not exactly…though I got someone killed. My mother…my adoptive mother, Belle-mère. It was so stupid…I had a bad argument with her while times were tough not long beforehand. She kept how bad things were from us, but even so, I was so damned bratty and selfish." Nami seemed to steel herself for what seemed to be a confession, before admitting, "A Fishman pirate called Arlong invaded our village, Cocoyashi, and demanded ransom money in exchange for each citizen's life. He called it tribute money. My mother only had enough for either herself…or my sister and I." Tears began to run from her eyes. "And my mother…my mother…"

"Chose to save you," Luffy finished her sentence quietly.

Nami nodded, blinking away the tears. "Yes. She stood up to Arlong, and told him then and there that she would rather die than stop being a mother. And Arlong…shot her in the head. Right in front of us. I may not have pulled the trigger, but I wonder if she could have survived if she didn't have me to deal with." The next bit took some courage to admit, but she eventually said, "Because I have a talent for maps, drawing them and so on, Arlong conscripted me into his crew. Eventually, he gave me an offer: if I could obtain 100 million Berries, I could effectively buy my hometown back from him. I've been doing this for some time, and I'm almost finished. But…there's part of me that's worried. Arlong plays dirty, and I have a feeling he might renege on the deal. I don't want to believe that…but would he leave us alone when he sucks so much money from us? On top of everything? He's a Fishman-supremacist. I'm the human he speaks most highly of, and…even that's not that good." She gently rolled up her sleeve to reveal the tattoo on her left shoulder, showing the emblem of Arlong's pirate gang.

Luffy gently reached out to touch it. "…It's a cool tattoo. Is that his emblem?" She nodded. "I heard stories of Arlong from some of the sailors who stop by, and he's nasty. I'm sorry about what happened." On an impulse, Luffy hugged her gently. Nami froze, but then relaxed. The boy wasn't trying to do anything more sinister than reassure her.

Were there really people this kind in the East Blue? Willing to do this for strangers? Especially now that he knew she had a lot of money.

Luffy then broke his embrace, and looked at Nami with a smile. "You know what? I've made my decision. When you go, I'm coming with you! I'm not gonna be King of the Pirates! I'm gonna be King of the Bounty-Hunters! And I'm going to start by helping you get the money you need to pay off Arlong…and if he backs out of your deal…I'll make him regret it!"

Nami opened her mouth to protest, but she was, frankly, stunned by Luffy's earnestness. And the fact was, he went out of his way to save her life, even though going out even a short distance to sea was dangerous with his condition, and with no expectation of reward. Even when he saw how much money she carried, there was little greed in his eyes, if at all, and she fancied herself a good enough reader of people, all the better to be able to con them.

And as self-sufficient as she was, there were a few target destinations she had in mind where she could use a little muscle. She had heard rumours of Buggy the Clown terrorising nearby towns, and of the map he held, and there were some charts in the possession of 'Axe-Hand' Morgan in Shell Town that she was considering looking for. What's more, having the grandson of Admiral Garp on side might help protect her a little, especially if he wanted to be a bounty-hunter rather than a pirate.

Even so, she didn't get to where she was today without injecting some caution into audacious moves. "Can I think about it? I mean, I've got a week until the boat is fixed, if not longer. Can I have until then for me to decide whether you can come along?"

"Okay, but you won't regret me coming along if you do," Luffy said. "Believe it!"

In another world populated by people with weird powers, a blonde-haired boy with whisker-like birthmarks on his face, and wearing an eye-searing orange jumpsuit, sneezed. "Huh? Am I catching a cold?"

 _I'm not sure I_ _ **do**_ _believe it_ , Nami thought to herself. But at least Luffy was willing to concede something. She assumed so, anyway. And hopefully, a week, or however long her boat took to get fixed, would be enough time to get the measure of Monkey D Luffy properly…

 **CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, there you have it. Nami's considering an alliance with Luffy, and we've got an insight into why Luffy is a little different.**

 **Now, if you think I'm being darker about Luffy's past just for the sake of being dark…well, you've got that wrong. Okay, Luffy did (supposedly) lose Sabo in canon, and Ace went off to be a pirate, but I wanted something that would shake Luffy up. He's still not far from canon Luffy, he's just smarter and has a different goal. Unlike in canon, his cheerfulness is, in part, a mask, or at least used as a mask. I dunno if it is a mask in canon, but he seems so damned cheerful all the time that it's kind of jarring when he gets serious or furious. Here, Luffy is a little more nuanced, a little more human. He understands consequences more. But he also stands up for what is right, so he still will be opposed to many of the Marines he meets, not to mention the pirates. Plus, he's actually attracted to Nami.**

 **I personally think that Oda didn't want to create a human being in Luffy, just an archetype of** ** _shounen_** **manga hero. That would have been laudable if Luffy had a bit more to him than loyalty, tenacity and bravery. If anything, Luffy's tendency to annoy unwittingly is more annoying than Naruto's frequently deliberate obnoxiousness.**

 **Okay, rant over. Though I am sure that a few will be thinking Nami is acting OOC. I think she's been a little surprised at the generosity she has been shown, and while she is acting a little OOC, she's also looking to recruit Luffy for his strength for her own purposes, hence her honesty. She's being a little manipulative, sure, but she also wants to free herself and her fellow villagers from Arlong.**

 **No numbered annotations this time…**


	14. Warping Bounty Hunter Luffy Chapter 3

_**WARPING BOUNTY HUNTER LUFFY**_

 **CHAPTER 3:**

 **ALVIDA AND COBY**

A week passed, and time had flown by in Luffy's admittedly enjoyable company, especially as he managed to get enough money to buy a slightly larger boat than he originally intended. It was a touch smaller than the one she had been using, but it would be serviceable, and Nami contributed some money herself. She realised that she had made the decision to bring Luffy with her long before the time was up. And to be honest, she was okay with that. She had found a better variation of her special three-piece bo-staff in a store here.

During that time, Luffy told her a little about her life, including his grandfather's training, and growing up with a pair of adoptive brothers, Portgas D Ace and Sabo. The former had already gone to sea to become a pirate, while the latter…

Nami had to admit, it must have been horrifying for Luffy to witness. Sabo had gone out to sea, only to have his ship cross the path of a Celestial Dragon, one of the upper echelons of the Nobility. Said Celestial Dragon had ordered the sinking of Sabo's boat, Luffy was sure, and it was only the sheer paralysing fear of his own Logia powers that prevented Luffy from warping across and attacking.

Thanks to this incident, plus the destruction of Gray Terminal, led to Luffy having a grudge against the Nobility. He knew there were good Nobles out there, true. Sabo had in fact been the child of a Noble family. But those who exploited others, especially the Celestial Dragons, he held in contempt. Nami knew that feeling.

Luffy had packed a few things, and had joined her on the boat. Makino, Woop Slap, and other inhabitants of Foosha had come to see them off. Makino in particular urged them both to be careful. Woop Slap, rather pompously, demanded that Luffy never do anything to bring the village into disrepute. Luffy had snickered at that, and so had Nami.

For the first time in a long time, Nami felt something, something she hadn't dared feel. Oh, she felt anticipation, and a hollow version of this emotion, but now, she felt the kindling of a more genuine version of this feeling. A dangerous, ephemeral feeling.

Hope.

As they set sail, Luffy stood on the prow. He raised his hands to the sky as if in benediction to the gods of the sea and sky…or as if he were about to milk a gargantuan cow. "LOOK OUT WORLD, HERE WE COME! I'M MONKEY D LUFFY, AND I'M GONNA BE KING OF THE BOUNTY-HUNTERS!"

Nami snorted. A ridiculous proclamation. And yet, she felt Luffy may have the determination to get there. The question was, though, could he help her free her and her village from Arlong? She hoped so. She was putting a lot of faith into this boy, and while he had the powers and the determination, did he truly have what it took to beat Arlong?

* * *

Nami pursed her lips as she peered through the telescope. They had to make a diversion to get safely away from a rather large maelstrom, but they were heading close to an island…one which should have been deserted. But there was a pirate ship docked there, with distinctive insignia. She thought she recognised the insignia: a skull and crossbones, but with the skull in profile and with a love heart on it. Love hearts were also on the sails of the ship. "Luffy, I think that's the ship of Captain Alvida," she said.

Luffy took the telescope, peered through it, and nodded, all-business. "Yeah. I check the wanted bulletins and posters that they send to our village. 'Iron Mace' Alvida, self-proclaimed 'most beautiful woman on the sea', though in reality…"

"She's a fat hag," Nami said. She normally wouldn't call someone that, but Alvida deserved such an appellation with her reputation as a vicious and murderous pirate. "She's got a bounty of 5 million Berries. She's strong enough to wield an iron mace almost as tall as she is, and ruthless. Not quite Grand Line level, but still dangerous. What's more, I wouldn't be surprised if they've already spotted us. If this is a secret base for them, they're sure to have lookouts of some sort. I didn't think any pirate would have a hidden base here, but…while it would take them a while to aweigh anchor and pursue us, they might do so to prevent us from blabbing to the Marines. Or they'll use their cannons if we pass by them. Alvida's the sort to silence any witnesses she thinks she needs to."

"Then we fight them," Luffy said. "But…we'll wait until we get safely to shore. Whaddya reckon?"

"Bluff them until we can fight them?" Nami asked. "Sure, that's got merit. We'll just say we're just travellers who got lost. You do the fighting, I'll go and steal any treasure in the chaos. Speaking of which, how are we going to conceal mine?"

"Easy," Luffy said. "You know that thing I used on the Lord of the Coast? I can use that to store things and people, freeze them in another dimension. The problem is, it's slow moving, so I have to use it on a big target, or else a subdued one. It's also a bit tiring. I released the Lord of the Coast elsewhere in the ocean after we left."

"And where was that?" Nami asked.

Luffy scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Umm…I dunno…"

* * *

Near Cocoyashi Village, a rather large eel-like monster had just swallowed the commander of a local Marine garrison, a rather ratty man by the name of Nezumi. The only person who gave a fuck was Arlong. Oh, and the Lord of the Coast, but that was because Nezumi gave it indigestion…

* * *

Nami gave him a flat look, before saying, "I hope that doesn't come back to bite us." After some thought, she said, "Okay, put the treasure in your other dimension thing. But you'd better be able to bring it out afterwards."

Luffy nodded, before saying, "Vworp-Vworp: Space Prison!" The same wedge of darkness appeared between them, and lazily floated down to her treasure box, absorbing it, before floating off into the sky and disappearing.

"Okay, let's fake being tired. I've used that trick before…"

* * *

The pirates soon launched a small boat to intercept them, and towed the boat to shore once they thought Luffy and Nami weren't going to be any trouble. Luffy and Nami allowed them to drag them, until they were in a warehouse. However, they found themselves dragged not before a corpulent woman, but a rather slender, surprisingly beautiful one, dark of eye and hair, wielding a mace almost as large as she was. She wore pink trousers and a long purple coat, and said coat was open to reveal her torso, with her only other concession to modesty being a white bikini top. She wore a white, wide-brimmed hat. The dark hair, dark eyes and hat certainly were those of Alvida.

Nearby, incongruously, was a short, pink-haired boy, wearing glasses, and looking like he wanted to be anywhere but here.

"Well," purred the woman. "Who do we have here? Small-fry who chanced upon our base, it seems. What are your names?"

"I'm Luffy," Luffy said.

"Nami," Nami bit out.

"Well, you stand before the most beautiful woman in the sea, Captain Alvida." She smiled viciously at their admittedly subdued reactions of surprise, her lips a thinly-pressed line that had more to do with malice than mirth. "Yes, I am sure you are surprised, given the outdated picture on my wanted poster. The benefits of eating a Devil Fruit. I came across a pirate who had managed to eat the Gum-Gum Fruit, one who, sadly, perished in the ocean, though he had accumulated quite a bit of treasure we took from him. I sought out a Devil Fruit for myself some months ago…and found the Slip-Slip Fruit. It made all those kilos simply slide off me…amongst other benefits."

"Bit of a dangerous way to beauty if you can't swim again," Luffy remarked.

A dangerous glint flashed in Alvida's eyes, and she, rather too-gently, pressed her mace against Luffy's jaw. "It's even more dangerous to let your tongue wag, boy. I could crush your skull…" Her eyes flickered over to Nami. "And I could get a tidy little sum selling her."

Luffy's expression, originally wearily good-humoured, suddenly hardened. Nami had to give him that much, he was protective. "You may look good now…but you're just as ugly on the inside as you were before, you hag."

Alvida gritted her teeth. "Scratch 'could'." With that, she hefted her mace into the air, and swung it down with incredible force. Nami watched as, just before impact, a hole seemed to open up in space above Luffy's head. A pirate behind them screamed as the mace slammed into him, sending him flying like a skittle.

Luffy grinned, before he dissolved into particles, and rematerialized next to Nami. The shocked pirates could only watch as Luffy repeated the process, Nami in tow, only to snatch up the boy. Alvida leapt at them, attacking, only for another portal to send her mace through, smacking into other pirates.

"Leave the kid with me," Luffy said to Nami. Nami nodded, and dashed out. She hoped that most of Alvida's pirates would be distracted by Luffy, and any left on the boat, she could sneak past, or sneak up on…

* * *

"You little brat…" Alvida snarled. "You ate a Devil Fruit too?"

"Yep!" Luffy said, grinning. "I'm Monkey D Luffy, and I'm gonna be King of the Bounty-Hunters! And guess what? That means you're my first catch."

Alvida scoffed. "Cocky…but mistaken. You're going to die. The only other Bounty-Hunter bold enough to do what you're doing is the Demon Swordsman Zolo, and he's at Shell Town, last I heard. And you're a rookie compared to him."

Luffy frowned inwardly. So, Zolo was so close? However, he needed to focus on this. He had a possible innocent to protect, so he needed to stop this soon. "Everyone's a rookie at some point. But they don't need to stay that way. By the way, have you ever wondered how unpleasant it is to be drunk?"

"What's so bad about being drunk?" one of Alvida's pirates demanded.

"Go and ask a glass of water how it feels about being drunk(1)," Luffy snarked, before saying, "Vworp-Vworp: Loop Cannon!"

Alvida was suddenly caught between two portals, one above her, another below her. She began screaming as she picked up speed, caught in a loop between the floor and the ceiling, perpetually going through the same portals, gravity accelerating her. Then, with a gesture, Luffy, just as Alvida left the bottom portal, opened up a different portal, no longer on the ceiling, but rather, right next to her pirates, who had been gawking at her plight.

It was like watching a bowling ball hit pins, and it was a strike, the pirates sent sprawling, partly by the iron mace she wielded. Alvida, as she skidded to a halt, slurred, "I'll never be cruel to a bottle of rum ever again." Then, she lost consciousness.

"Vworp-Vworp: Space Prison," Luffy said with a smirk, and the wedge of darkness flew down, increasing in size as it did so, before absorbing the fallen pirates, who were seen, briefly, frozen on its surface, before it flew away and disappeared.

"Wow, what did you do to them?" the boy asked.

"Sent them elsewhere," Luffy said. "C'mon, I need to see if Nami's all right…"

* * *

Luffy found, to his pleasure, that Nami had knocked out the pirates left to guard the ship, and was grinning at the treasures present. "Hey, where are the others?" Nami asked.

"I used the Space Prison to put them on ice. I'll do the same thing to these guys. Oh, wait, before I forget…Vworp-Vworp: Space Prison." The wedge of darkness appeared again, and Nami's treasure chest reappeared. The wedge then absorbed the unconscious pirates, and sailed off into the sky before fading. "I was thinking of cashing in the bounties at Shell Town. Apparently Zolo's there too."

Nami nodded thoughtfully, before peering at the boy. "And this guy?"

"I dunno, I haven't got his story yet." Luffy turned to him. "So, what's your name, kid?"

"C-C-Coby," the boy stammered.

"Hey, Coby," Nami said, giving the boy a reassuring smile. "So, how did you end up with Alvida?"

The nervous boy divulged his story, of how he'd boarded Alvida's ship thinking it was a fishing vessel, only to be conscripted into being her cabin boy for the past two years. She had humiliated him frequently, as had her crew. But he had a dream himself: to become a Marine, and fight pirates.

Nami and Luffy exchanged glances, before Nami said, "Are you sure, Coby? Some Marines are as bad as pirates. Believe me, I know from experience."

"B-But the Marines are the good guys!" Coby protested.

"There's bad Marines out there, and there's good pirates too," Luffy said. He tapped his hat. "See this? This hat was given to me by a pirate who saved my life. I kept asking to join his crew at the time. But…well, I'm not gonna be a pirate anymore. But I'm not gonna be a Marine, either. I'm gonna be King of the Bounty-Hunters. And I'm gathering myself a crew. I'm hoping that, after I deal with some problems for Nami, she can be my navigator. Anyway, we're heading to Shell Town to cash in these bounties, maybe even recruit someone to my crew."

"Who?" Nami asked.

"Zolo. Apparently he's at Shell Town, according to Alvina," Luffy said with a shrug.

"Zolo?!" Coby yelped. "But he's a demon in human form!"

"He's a bounty-hunter. I'm going to be a bounty-hunter myself, so I'd like to have someone with experience to help me understand the ins and outs, beyond what I've read," Luffy said. "Plus, isn't he one of the best swordsmen in the East Blue? We could do with someone like that on our side. Hey, by the way, why don't we use this ship to get to Shell Town? We'll have to take down Alvida's flag and any other signs of the Jolly Roger. We'll just tie our ship to this one in case the Marines decide to confiscate it. You got the treasure from here?"

"She must have only just arrived here," Nami said. "There was a lot of treasure in the hold."

"Okay. Make sure you hide it with your stuff," Luffy said. He then looked at Coby, and smiled. "Well, Coby, we'll help you get to Shell Town. You don't have to worry about Alvida anymore. Just be warned, though, some Marine training is pretty harsh. Gramps is a Marine, so I should know."

"I don't care! Please, take me to Shell Town!"

"Okay, Coby, you've got it!" Luffy said with a broad grin.

* * *

With the pirates frozen in space, and with Luffy and Nami tying their old vessel to the pirate ship, and taking down Alvida's Jolly Roger, they set sail. It would be difficult, what with just three of them manning the ship, but they would manage. Of course, Shell Town was going to add further complications to their journey. They just didn't know it yet…

 **CHAPTER 3 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Luffy and Nami have encountered Alvida, defeated her and rescued Coby. Next chapter, Shell Town!**

 **Now, some of you are wondering why Alvida has already obtained the Slip-Slip Fruit. Well, this is an AU, and the pirate who eventually bought the Gum-Gum Fruit off Shanks faced off against Alvida, only to get knocked into the sea during their battle. But she had been so impressed by the power of a Devil Fruit, she decided to seek one out, as she would later do in canon. Plus, I love wrong-footing you guys, and I thought Luffy and Nami being wrong-footed themselves would be interesting. Of course, her sliding abilities don't give her immunity to the insects Luffy uses here.**

 **Also, keep in mind that Luffy has set sail earlier than in canon. So when he arrives at Shell Town, Zolo's not going to be tied-up…yet. Though Morgan and Helmeppo are still going to be problems for our heroes…**

 **1\. This gag comes from _The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ , where Ford Prefect mentions that travelling through hyperspace is unpleasantly like getting drunk. When Arthur asks what's so bad about being drunk, Ford replies, "You ask a glass of water." Embarrassingly, it took me over a decade to get that joke. Alvida's later remark about a bottle of rum echoes Arthur Dent's line, "I'll never be cruel to a gin and tonic ever again!" And that itself is a reuse of a line from a _Doctor Who_ story Douglas Adams wrote, called (fittingly, given the subject of this story) _The Pirate Planet_ , where the Doctor, while uncontrollably speeding down an inertia-nullifying corridor, laments, "I'll never be cruel to an electron in a particle accelerator again!"**


	15. Warping Bounty Hunter Luffy Chapter 4

_**WARPING BOUNTY HUNTER LUFFY**_

 **CHAPTER 4:**

 **FEAR AND LOATHING IN SHELL TOWN**

The trip from Alvida's base to Shell Town was, thankfully, uneventful. Coby seemed to think that Luffy was insane for wanting to recruit Zolo. Nami was a bit more enthusiastic about the idea, as Zolo was said to be a master swordsman as well as a bounty-hunter. And while manning a ship as large as Alvida's was hard for three people, the clement weather and decent winds helped matters. That, and many pirates who had a habit of killing their crew also made it a point to obtain ships that at least could be theoretically sailed by a skeleton crew, Alvida included.

It was halfway through their journey that, while Coby kept a lookout, Luffy went into the captain's office, where Nami was checking their journey against a map and a compass. "The weather should hold for some time longer," Nami remarked. "I doubt we'll get anything bad before we head to Shell Town. Luffy…those portals of yours…can you use them to…well, spy on things?"

Luffy giggled. "Shishishi…Worried I might be becoming a voyeur, Nami? Hey, you're a good-looking girl, but I try not to peek at girls while they're in the shower."

Nami scowled. "Not like that, Luffy!"

"Shishishi…Just kidding. I can, but unless I know where I'm opening up the portal, it's a bit random, and people tend to notice the portals anyway. Why do you ask?"

"Well, the reason why I ask is that I heard there's a good map of the Grand Line at Shell Town, in the possession of the local Marines branch. But we're obviously not looking for trouble if we can help it."

Luffy nodded, but he said, "I agree, I don't want to cause trouble unless I have to. But I have a better idea. The floating restaurant Baratie patrols the seas between here and Cocoyashi, and I heard the proprietor is an ex-pirate called Red-Leg Zeff. He used to sail the Grand Line, and it's said he has a logbook. Maybe he even has charts. Maybe we can sweet-talk him into helping us. And I heard of this pretty rich family in Syrup Village that might have charts of the Grand Line in their library."

"How do you know these things?" Nami asked.

"One thing you have to know as a bounty-hunter is information. I talked to people, asked them about things, about the East Blue and the Grand Line. Admittedly, I didn't know about Arlong invading Cocoyashi. I guess the Marines there covered it up. Anyway, why do you want a chart of the Grand Line, Nami?"

"A good map of the Grand Line is hard to find. And using that, we are going to be better able to find any pirates who have bounties on them, as well as steal their treasure. And if truth be told, this is also a potential bargaining chip with Arlong."

"…Why?"

Nami looked pensive as she finished plotting their course on the map, and rolled it up. "As I told you, Arlong conscripted me into his crew because he realised I had a knack for creating the best maps. Now, Fishmen know the oceans like the back of their hands, but they aren't as good at turning that knowledge into maps. A couple of times, out of anger because of my mother's murder, I deliberately wrote in errors, but he spotted them straight away, and I was punished. I hate him, Luffy," she admitted. "Pirates, most of them, they take and take and take and give nothing back. You were lucky to know that Red-Haired Shanks guy. He's probably in the minority. Pirates in general, I hate them. And I hate the Marines too. Most of them. My mother was a former Marine, but she gave that up when she raised my sister and I. And there are good Marines out there. But the World Government is corrupt, and so too are too many of the Marines. Those who aren't in the pockets of pirates, or else tinpot tyrants themselves, they believe in this 'Absolute Justice' rubbish, and persecute anyone they think has done wrong."

"Gramps isn't like that. Well, not as much," Luffy said. "But yeah, I know where you're coming from, Nami. In a way, I take after my father quite a bit."

"Your father?"

"Yeah. I once managed to get Gramps to tell me who he was." Luffy, after a moment, said, "This is seriously secret shit, something you can't tell anyone, especially in the Marines. You've told me about your connection with Arlong…so I'll tell you my secret. The truth is…my old man is Monkey D Dragon."

Nami's first reaction was to yelp in surprise, an impulse she hastily smothered before she could act on it. Instead, she hissed, in surprise and awe, "You're the son of Dragon the Revolutionary? The World's Most Wanted?"

"Yeah. Like I said, this isn't something you can tell anyone."

"I can imagine," Nami murmured. "But that means that he's Monkey D Garp's son."

"Yeah. It's a bit of a sore point with Gramps. But the thing is, I don't want to be a revolutionary, to be branded a criminal all the time. I want to help people from the ground up, become something the pirates fear. Doesn't mean I wouldn't kick a Marine's arse or a Celestial Dragon's arse if I needed to, and if getting branded a pirate because I did that is the price I have to pay for protecting someone who needed it, then I'll pay it. But I chose to be a bounty-hunter because I can get rid of a bunch of pirates who hurt people without having to answer to the World Government. And one day, I'll get revenge for Sabo. Of course, I've got a few pirates I'm not going to target. Red-Haired Shanks and his crew are some of them. My brother, Ace, is another."

Nami nodded. "Well, just be careful, Luffy. I don't mind helping you catch pirates and occasionally sticking it sideways to the Marines…but I also want to have a long and happy life."

Luffy giggled. "Shishishi…don't we all? Don't worry, Nami. I don't take unnecessary risks. Besides, I'll be sure to protect my crew, and as far as I'm concerned, you and Coby are part of my crew. Well, for now, anyway."

Luffy didn't know it, but Nami was touched by the sentiment. It was more than Arlong had ever said to her…

* * *

They had expected a somewhat fractious welcome in Shell Town, and they were right. A couple of Marines were present at the dock as they arrived. "What is your business here?" one of them demanded.

"My name is Monkey D Luffy, bounty-hunter. This is my associate, Nami. We have the crew of Captain Alvida, along with the not-so-good captain herself," Luffy said from the side of the ship. "Do you have Seastone restraints at the ready? Captain Alvida has eaten the Slip-Slip Fruit."

The Marine shook his head, before he barked out an order to his comrade, who scurried off. They soon had the ship tied up at the dock and a gangplank ready, and the Marine boarded the ship. He then noticed Coby. "And this boy? Is he a member of your crew?"

"No. He was taken prisoner by Alvida," Luffy said. "He wants to become a Marine."

The Marine glared down at Coby, scrutinising him. Then, he said, "I want to see your prisoners."

* * *

The man, whose name turned out to be Ripper, was checking the prisoners, who were disgorged from the Space Prison. They were all unconscious, the shock of entering the Space Prison doing this. He frowned when he saw Alvida, though Coby's corroboration that this was Alvida had him nodding, especially when he touched her exposed face, and his hand slid off the slick surface.

Ripper nodded, and said, "I will have my men transfer the prisoners to our brig and have a promissory note filled out for you. If I were you, though, I would take this boy and find another Marine base to take him in for training."

"Why is that?" Luffy asked.

"I would be punished for mutiny just for telling a new arrival, but the truth is, the current leader of the Marine base, Captain 'Axe-Hand' Morgan, is a tyrant. He demands 'taxes' from the citizens as tribute, like he's some king, and he doesn't care that the money is running out. Anyone who defies him, civilian or Marine, he executes without mercy or pity for mutiny or treason or whatever charge he thinks fits the crime. What's more, he has a son called Helmeppo, who's a vicious, cowardly piece of shit who throws his father's name around to get his way. If anyone defies him, he runs off to his father, and his father punishes the offending party, though I get the feeling that that's more because Morgan doesn't want any dissidents than he wants to help his son."

Coby's eyes were wide with horrified disbelief, and Nami was scowling, as was Luffy. "Bastard. How many people has he killed?" Nami asked.

"Too many, mostly my men, but many civilians too. He was only assigned here relatively recently, about six months ago. He's been riding high on the reputation of having captured Captain Kuro three years ago."

"He was the one who captured Kuro of a Thousand Plans?" Luffy asked, astonished.

"Supposedly, though I don't know how," Ripper said. "I personally found it a bit odd. Morgan was a good fighter, true, but Kuro was infamous for being both a skilled fighter and a brilliant planner, and Morgan should have suffered more than a broken jaw. Anyway, the upshot is, Shell Town is not a good place for you guys to linger. I'd suggest getting whatever supplies you need and getting the hell out of here. Buggy the Clown recently managed to infiltrate the base and steal a map of the Grand Line, so Morgan's in an especially foul mood."

"What about Roronoa Zolo?" Luffy asked as Nami considered the news about the map. "We heard he was in town, and we wanted to have him join our crew."

"Zolo? If you can get him to come with you, that'd be great. He hates what's happening here too. Sooner or later, he's probably going to kill Helmeppo or that damned pet wolf of his, and that'd bring down more trouble than this town needs…"

* * *

Once Ripper had taken the pirates out of the ship, thankfully not checking the ship for any treasure, Luffy and Nami convened while Coby watched what was happening in the town. "Buggy has that map," Nami muttered. "And I'd put money on him raiding Orange Town. That's the closest settlement that he could raid with less of a Marine presence. It's said he has powers, so he may have eaten a Devil Fruit. And he's ruthless and murderous besides. I heard once that a girl in a village he raided made fun of his nose, so he used his cannons to raze that village to the ground. His cannons are amongst the most powerful on any pirate ship in the East Blue. He's also said to said to once have been part of Gol D Roger's crew."

"Like Shanks," Luffy mused. "Never mind. We'll have to go and see if we can find Zolo."

"Luffy, we shouldn't start trouble," Nami said.

Luffy gave her a look. "Of course. I'm finishing it. If what Ripper said is true, Morgan's just like Arlong, lording it over this place like a would-be king. The only difference is, he's using the Marines to claim legitimacy. I'm not going to stir up unnecessary trouble, Nami. But if someone's life is threatened, then I'm not going to stand by and let it happen. Come on."

* * *

They had Coby stay on the boat, as they hoped they could find another Marine branch to take him in. As they walked through Shell Town, Nami grimaced. "Can you feel that? There's a major pall of fear hanging over this town. It's like Ripper said," she murmured.

"I know. We'd better find Zolo and deal with Morgan," he said quietly. "I can just freeze him in the Space Prison, never let him out. The Marines might get suspicious, but frankly, if his own men hate him so much, I think they'd help cover things up. And they should be able to ship someone decent in, in theory. Or maybe Ripper will take over. For someone with that name, he seems like a decent guy. Even if he's a bit of a coward where Morgan is concerned."

They soon found Zolo. It was hard to mistake him. Tall, with short-cropped green hair, a black bandanna covering most of said hair, three earrings dangling from his left ear, and handsome, if stern and intimidating features. He had no less than three swords with him. He noticed Luffy and Nami approaching. "What do you want?" he asked.

"You're Roronoa Zolo, right?" Luffy asked.

"Yeah. I don't do autographs."

"Actually, I wasn't asking for one. I'm Monkey D Luffy, and this is Nami. I wanted to ask whether you wanted to join me. I'm looking to become King of the Bounty-Hunters, and I could do with someone more experienced to show me the ropes."

Zolo stared at him, before scoffing. "You what? Yeah, real funny."

"He's serious, believe me," Nami said. "Didn't you see Alvida and her crew being carted through here? We captured her."

"Wait, you two did that?" Zolo asked, apparently having seen Alvida captive. "That woman was Alvida?"

"Well, I did most of the fighting, but without Nami's plan, we wouldn't have gotten the element of surprise," Luffy said. "Plus, she's no slouch as a fighter anyway. But that was Alvida, she had used a Devil Fruit."

"I see." Zolo seemed to consider this, before he said, "I'll consider coming with you once my business here is done, if you're serious, anyway. I don't always work alone. But I…"

Whatever Zolo was going to say was cut off by a scream of fear, and a rather high laugh. Luffy, Zolo and Nami whirled to find a massive wolf threatening a young girl, while a rather strange-looking young man with a bizarre hairdo looked on and laughed. "What's wrong, little girl? Soro only wants to play!" he jeered, before laughing again.

It was Zolo who reacted first, lunging forward and drawing one of his swords, slashing the wolf's belly, eviscerating it, the intestines spilling out in a bloody heap of fleshy ropes. With a howl of pain, the wolf collapsed, dying. "Soro! No!" The young man glared at Zolo. "You bastard, Zolo! I'm telling daddy about you! And you will suffer!"

"Says the man who set his wolf on a little girl," Zolo sneered back.

"I don't care what you think! You should be on your knees begging for my forgiveness!" the man snarled, before running off.

A woman went over to the little girl, and held her, while staring at Zolo in horror. "What have you done?"

"Saved your daughter's life from that damned beast."

"I'm grateful, but it's going to be for nothing when he comes back with his father's Marines in tow. That was Helmeppo, the son of Captain Morgan…and you've just signed your death warrant…"

 **CHAPTER 4 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, yeah. Luffy and Nami have made it to Shell Town shortly before Zolo killed Helmeppo's wolf. Now, let's see if they can deal with Morgan before he can kill them…**

 **Now, Luffy knowing who his father is is one of the AU elements here. But Garp could have told Luffy, and told him why it was necessary to keep quiet. This was one of the factors contributing to Luffy being different to what he was in canon.**

 **You'll also notice I put in some foreshadowing of the Kuro arc, as well as more of the Buggy arc. I guess with this story, I am reconstructing** ** _One Piece_** **to a certain degree. While there will still be comedy, it's somewhat more serious, albeit without sacrificing the essential nature of** ** _One Piece_** **. I hope so, anyway.**

 **No numbered annotations for this chapter.**


	16. Madness, Chaos and Wagtails Chapter 1

**This has got to be one of my weirder ideas, a crossover between the Cthulhu Mythos and _Sekirei_. I won't spoil anything further...**

* * *

 _ **MADNESS, CHAOS AND WAGTAILS**_

 **CHAPTER 1:**

 **THE DOOM THAT CAME TO SHINTO TEITO**

In a moonlit park in Shinto Teito, a man walked through, almost dancing along as he did so, as if to the beat of a song only he could hear. Tall, slim, and dark of skin, he was dressed in immaculate, stylish clothing that was clearly expensive. Not quite _haute couture_ , but certainly showing the man had his own sense of taste. Occasionally, he'd whistle an eerie tune, one that sounded unpleasant to human ears. He almost invariably had a smile on his face, as if he knew the punchline to a joke only he was privy to.

It might have seemed like the man's meanderings were strangely random. But in truth, they had something of a purpose. The man had been called here, and while he had been called before by the foolish, the avaricious, the megalomaniacal, and the just plain sane, the desperation in this call spoke to him.

He was newly arrived in Shinto Teito, that marvellous metropolis that was now the new capital of Japan. He actually had a soft spot for Japan: they came up with all sorts of interesting things, especially related to him. His wardrobe had increased quite significantly thanks to them. And Shinto Teito's grandeur was largely thanks to the megacorporation MBI, a corporation that had already attracted the man's interest for various reasons.

As he bobbed along to his own internal tune, he seemed unaware of the shadowy figures moving to intercept him. In truth, he had been aware of them long before they even made the decision to come for him. He just indulged them, as they would prove a most amusing diversion on his way to his true goal.

Sure enough, he was soon surrounded by a small but not insignificant band of thugs. "Alright, tourist," spat one thug. "Hand over your wallet and any valuables you might have, and maybe we'll let you go intact." He waved his knife to make a point.

The man chuckled softly. "Direct and to the point. But uncreative. Seriously, did you come out of some cloning vat for thugs and muggers?"

The lead thug lunged forward, and grabbed him by the front of his shirt, pushing the knife to his belly. "Wrong answer, tourist. Empty your pockets now, or I empty you of your guts."

The man, at least as far as the mugger was concerned, should have reacted with fear. Instead, he laughed in his face. "I'd like to see you try, boy."

Now, this little gang of muggers had managed to get their own way through intimidation and non-lethal violence before. But the leader, on being insulted, decided that he could get away with murder. So he thrust the knife into the man's abdomen. He expected an exclamation of pain.

What he wasn't expecting was a moan of what sounded disturbingly like ecstasy. Then, the man he just stabbed looked at him with dark eyes, and a predatory smile filled with teeth so white they seemed to shine in the darkness, and said, "Darling, couldn't you have waited until…I dunno, at least a few dates before you shoved your pointy thing into me?"

The thug looked down at the liquid dripping down the knife. Only, it didn't seem like blood, or indeed any kind of liquid. It seemed more like living shadow, squirming and writhing. Suddenly, the knife was yanked out of his hand, being pulled right into the man's body, before it shot out of the skin of the man's palm, and into his hand. "Now, let's play a new game," the dark-skinned man said, still grinning his awful grin. "It's called ' _Run Like Hell_ '. You could try praying to God…but, well, spoilers, I won't be listening(1)…"

* * *

She could hear the shrieks of men dying in agony nearby. But Akitsu couldn't bring herself to care. A most profound depression ailed her, and with it, an apathy to almost anything else. Only direct threats to her wellbeing roused her from her apathy. More than a couple of people had approached her with intent to do harm. She impaled them on her ice.

Akitsu was a slender woman with short, light brown hair that was almost grey. Her serenely beautiful features were marred by a strange tattoo, of an emblem depicting a bird flying over a _taijitu_ or yin-yang symbol. She was almost wholly naked, her sole clothing being a tattered, bloodied laboratory coat that did little to conceal her body, including her rather large breasts.

Akitsu was a Sekirei, one of a number of alien beings who had come to Earth as an embryo in stasis. The entirety of her life had been spent in one MBI laboratory or another, being experimented upon. Unfortunately, during one of those recent experiments, something went awry.

You see, Sekirei needed to have their physiology adjusted so that they could live amongst humans without endangering them with their powers, only being able to use their full power in combat against other Sekirei. However, the adjuster in charge of Akitsu messed it up, leaving her broken. For Sekirei are supposed to find a destined partner, a human called an Ashikabi, to bond with. This bonding process, initiated by a kiss, was known as Winging, for it caused wings of energy to appear in the process. And the adjuster had caused Akitsu to self-Wing. They declared her a Scrapped Number, a Broken Sekirei. And her adjuster, fired for his incompetence, tried to murder Akitsu. So she killed him.

She fled MBI, and ended up, after a series of misadventures, here. All the while despairing that she would ever find her Ashikabi.

It is said that there are no atheists in foxholes. And while this isn't necessarily correct all of the time, it's true that extreme circumstances sometimes drive people to reach out, in faith that someone or something will answer their prayers. It was certainly the case with Akitsu. Not that she necessarily believed in God or any deity, more of a kind of kismet or destiny would answer her prayers, bring her Ashikabi to her.

In retrospect, for many who would suffer afterwards, this was a bad idea. For something certainly answered her prayer, even if she didn't know it yet.

Suddenly, a thug ran out from a nearby wooded area, and screamed, "HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

Akitsu cocked her head in curiosity. She had evaded these thugs before, not wanting to have to deal with them. So what had scared this one?

The thug suddenly tripped on the ground, faceplanting right near the bench Akitsu had been sitting on. Meanwhile, from out of the shadows, indeed, seeming to be born from them, was a tall, dark-skinned man, dressed stylishly. He was smiling in a way that reminded Akitsu, unnervingly, of Karasuba, the infamous current leader of the Discipline Squad. But unlike Karasuba's lazy predatory smirk, this smile was more jovial and friendly, and yet even more frightening. Akitsu felt a slight chill in her soul.

"Come on," drawled the dark-skinned man. "How did that line from that anime go? Those who kill must be prepared to die themselves, or something along those lines? Just fight a little, make it entertaining for me. I get bored easily. C'mon, hit me, fight me, give me a hug(2)!"

The thug saw Akitsu, before grabbing her, hauling her to her feet, and bringing her in front of him as a human shield. "Don't you dare take one step closer!" the thug snarled. "Or the bitch gets it!"

The dark-skinned man rolled his eyes, and stepped forward. "I MEAN IT!" screeched the thug, pressing his knife to Akitsu's back.

"And? Why do you think she's helpless? She's a Sekirei, moron, and that means that you're dead. You just haven't stopped breathing yet."

Akitsu agreed, mentally. Which was why she formed an ice spike that impaled her would-be hostage-taker. She remembered Takami once threatening to shove Karasuba's sword so far up Minaka's arse, he'd be able to pick his teeth with it. Akitsu did effectively the same thing with the icicle, only the thug wouldn't survive to be able to pick his own teeth.

The dark-skinned man whistled appreciatively, walking around to the now-dead thug as Akitsu freed herself from the dead man's hands. "Nice. I haven't seen impalement like that since old Vlad Tepes." Suddenly, shadow seemed to leap around the dead man, and absorbed him into the darkness. "Mmm," the man said. "Tastes like chicken and shit. Well, considering that he was chickenshit, I'm not surprised."

Akitsu stared at the man. Had he just used powers? As far as she knew, only one Sekirei had the power over shadows: Number 57, Yahan. Was he a Sekirei?

"No, I'm no Sekirei," the man said, as if discerning her thoughts, before turning to face Akitsu. "Please allow me to introduce myself: I'm a man of wealth and taste. I've been around for a long, long year, stole many a man's soul and faith." On her blank look, he sighed quietly. "We have to introduce you to the classics(3)."

"Ah…classics?"

"Yes! Music, rock and roll! Goes well with sex and drugs, I'm told." The man grinned. "Well, I don't partake of the latter, but rock and roll does go very well with the former. Anyway, you're the one who called me to this plane. Number 07, Akitsu. The Ice Sekirei, made a Scrapped Number. Broken. But, here's the thing, Akitsu." He put his arm around her in a manner that was surprisingly affectionate. "Many things that are broken can be fixed. And one man's trash is another's treasure. And you, dear Akitsu, are not trash. I can fix you. I can give you worth again. I can be your Ashikabi."

"But that's…"

"Impossible? Dear Akitsu, I _sneer_ at the impossible. Many would call me impossible…when they're not screaming in fear or fury or just plain screaming. Speaking of people who need to scream," he finished, looking over to the side to see a pair of people approaching. One was a tall, silver-haired man with a sword in a scabbard and wearing a yellow scarf, his demeanour stoic. The other was a teenaged boy in expensive clothing, complete with ruffles.

"Mister, stand away from her," the boy said. "She's mine."

The dark-skinned man chuckled. "Oh my. Listen, brat…"

"I'm NOT a brat! I'm Hayato Mikogami! And I…"

"…Will be wishing for death in approximately thirty seconds or sooner if he doesn't give the ego a rest," the dark-skinned man said.

"Do not threaten my Ashikabi," the silver-haired man said in a calm tone, moving gently to stand between Mikogami and the dark-skinned man.

"Well, I came here first. I believe the standard term is 'dibs'. As you didn't come here first, you do not get to claim her. Is that a simple enough concept for your Ashikabi to grasp? Or has he been skipping remedial classes at the school that his parents have clearly wasted so much money on?"

Mikogami gaped, his brain struggling between rage and astonishment, before his face settled into a cold mask. "Killing other humans is forbidden by the rules. But Mutsu, you have my permission to break him."

Mutsu sighed as he readied his sword. Meanwhile, the dark-skinned man held up a finger. "Just one point I'd like to dispute, brat. I never said I was human. Allow me to introduce you to Daddy."

Suddenly, Mikogami vanished into a dark portal with a shriek. "What did you do?!" Mutsu snarled.

"Oh, don't worry. He'll be fine…physically, anyway." Another dark portal opened up, and Mikogami, shivering and covered in rime, was spat out. "Mentally, though…"

"Master!" Mutsu said, hurrying over to his Ashikabi.

"The flutes…the drums…the flutes…the drums…" Mikogami whimpered, his eyes wide. A darkening stain on his trousers suggested that his bladder control had gone the way of his cockiness.

"He should be thankful," the dark-skinned man said. "Few have witnessed the Nuclear Chaos and survived with their sanity more or less intact…though I daresay he'll never sleep properly again." He chuckled again. "Take him home…or I'll send you to Daddy as well…only for keeps this time."

As Mutsu gathered up his master in his arms, he glared at the dark-skinned man. "There will be a reckoning for what you did." He then retreated with as much dignity as he could.

"Ah…" Akitsu began. "What did you do?"

"I sent him to Daddy Dearest," the dark-skinned man said with a grin. "The Nuclear Chaos, the Blind Idiot God that lies at the centre of all creation…better known as Azathoth."

"Ah…Azathoth?"

"Oh, you don't know him? Shame." The dark-skinned man turned to face Akitsu, and then said, "Still, I think we'd better get down to business. You called for your Ashikabi…and here I am. I can mend you, Akitsu. In fact, I can do it right now."

Akitsu opened her mouth to deny it, only for the man to press a hand to her forehead. What came out of his mouth next couldn't properly be called a word, a syllable, or even a sound. It was the sound time and space would make if part of it had been suddenly crunched. It seemed to pierce right through her skull, the sensation not painful, but singularly unpleasant. For a moment, her brain seemed to twist in on itself in her skull…

…And then, it was over. Something was lost in its wake…but she realised that it was something she was glad she had lost. She could feel a heat building in her chest, her heart was beating hard and fast, she could feel herself flushing. She looked into the man's eyes, and knew that this was her Ashikabi, human or not.

She lunged forward and kissed him, her tongue entering his mouth. She tasted something bitter and exotic in his mouth. She felt herself being Winged, the surge of energy throughout her being, leaving pleasure in its wake.

"Number 07, Akitsu, is yours, now and forever," Akitsu whispered in awe-filled devotion. "May we shatter our enemies for all eternity."

"Yes, we shall," her Ashikabi said with a smile. "It's good to have such loyalty, Akitsu. For now, you are the Sekirei of the Crawling Chaos. You are the Sekirei of Nyarlathotep."

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Well, crap. Is it the end of the world as we know it? Or is it just the end for MBI? Either way, the Crawling Chaos has just entered the Sekirei Game, and that's not a good thing by any metric.**

 **Now, in terms of appearance, I actually thought about how Nyarlathotep would look (and this is, admittedly, only one of many appearances he can take on). I eventually decided that he should look like a taller version of the Cat from** ** _Red Dwarf_** **, albeit without fangs or pompadour. His voice is closer to Danny John-Jules' regular voice in my mind, but he has a few of the same mannerisms as the Cat, like how the Cat, in earlier series, liked to almost dance to and fro while on the move. As Nyarlathotep is something of a troll, even in Cthulhu Mythos canon, I thought I needed someone quirky. I also took cues of behaviour from Alucard from** ** _Hellsing Ultimate Abridged_** **, and so, Nyarlathotep, in this story, is basically a hybrid of an evil version of the Cat and Abridged Alucard.**

 **1\. Perfect Cell says a variant of this at the end of Episode 54 of** ** _Dragonball Z Abridged_** **,** ** _Tiles and Tribulations_** **. Like Abridged Alucard, he is voiced by Curtis Arnott, aka Takahata101.**

 **2\. This is one of many lines I will be pilfering from** ** _Hellsing Ultimate Abridged_** **. This one comes from Episode 2, when Alucard is about to kill Luke Valentine.**

 **3\. For those of you who don't get the joke, Nyarlathotep is quoting from the opening of the Rolling Stones song** ** _Sympathy for the Devil_** **.**


	17. Madness, Chaos, and Wagtails Chapter 2

**MADNESS, CHAOS AND WAGTAILS**

 **CHAPTER 2:**

 **A BORED OUTER GOD IS NEVER A GOOD THING**

Takami wanted to strangle her boss, Minaka Hiroto, for a number of reasons. For the insane Sekirei Game he thought up based on a perversion of Takehito Asama's Sekirei Plan, for his megalomania, for his managing to seduce her and impregnate her, not once, but twice. Oh, and there was that insane cackle of his that never failed to grate on her.

But at the moment, she wanted to strangle him because he had made it a decree for the alarms in MBI HQ to be based on those from that British panel show _QI_ , and the alarms made it seem like they were caught in a time loop with Alan Davies having just made the wrong answer.

After shouting at the technicians to give her some information other than 'AWOOGA! AWOOGA! AWOOGA!' (which was admittedly what the alarms were doing rather than the technicians, but she couldn't hear the technicians thanks to the alarms), she finally got some answers once the cacophony had died down, and her ears had stopped ringing. "It's Number 07, Dr Sahashi!" one hapless technician (chosen by fate…well, drawing straws, and the game was rigged to make him a sacrifice to appease the angry deity that was Takami Sahashi) exclaimed. "She's…well, she's been…"

Takami realised what he meant with a sinking feeling. Rather too calmly, in a flat tone, she said, "Akitsu's been Winged, hasn't she?"

"Umm…yes, ma'am," the technician said, hoping beyond hope that he would get through this night without his balls mashed into testicular pâté.

"How? Who?" While still quiet, her inflection had now an incredulous and irritable edge to it, suggesting that the hapless technician wasn't quite out of the woods yet.

"…We don't know. Either of those things," the technician admitted.

Takami sighed quietly, trying very hard not to lose her temper. She wouldn't attack the technician, but if Minaka decided to make himself known…

"YES! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE SEKIREI GAME NEEDS!"

 _Speak of the devil, and he's at your shoulder_ , groaned Takami inwardly. _Skating in on roller blades and asking 'did anyone order a LARGE HAM?!'_

Without looking, she thrust out her fist. It impacted part of his face with a satisfying crunch, and sent him flying into a nearby bank of computers, which immediately started playing Minaka's own take on the Caramelldansen video…featuring the Sekirei.

"We're looking at CCTV cameras in the area. I think we've just found him. Her Ashikabi appears to be a male of African extraction," the technician said, bringing up the feed to the main screen. "Facial recognition…well, it claims this man is Danny John-Jules, but I'm pretty sure he's at the current Dimension Jump convention in the UK. Plus, he looks too young to be Danny John-Jules. Unless he knows how to travel in time."

"Great!" Minaka yelled as he got off the keyboard bank he had been punched onto.

"How is this at all great?" Takami said.

"Because I said so!" Another blow to the head from Takami, and he said, "No thank you, garçon, I believe I will order a bedpan and a vivarium full of tsuchinokos instead." Yet another blow, and he slurred, "And tomorrow's forecast, there will be a shower of sharks. Flurgen." With that coherent last word, he sagged to the floor. Still bearing a grin that looked like he wanted to kill Batman.

"Umm, ma'am? Why do you keep hitting him like that?" the technician asked.

"Percussive maintenance," Takami said. "I'm sure that one day, it will work out, and I'll hit him back into sanity. Or render him catatonic, so that I can actually run MBI properly." She shrugged. "Either way is fine."

The gathered technicians nodded sagely. At least there was method to Takami's madness. Whereas there was no real method to Minaka's. Then again, there was a workplace cliché that one didn't need to be mad to work here, but it helped. It certainly helped here.

"I want anything you can pull up on this new Ashikabi," Takami said, as she sat down on a chair, and used the comatose body of her former lover (acts she had regretted to this day) and present boss as a footstool. Might as well take advantage of this while it lasted. "I want to know his name, phone number, how often he goes to the goddamned toilet. I don't like being kept in the dark!"

* * *

Nyarlathotep sneezed, and then smirked. "I believe someone's talking about me. Either that, or there's a Mi-go that hasn't been spayed yet nearby, and my allergies are playing up."

Akitsu, as she walked alongside her Ashikabi, cocked her head, as was her wont to do. "Allergies?"

"Never mind, Akitsu, dear. So, how do you like the new threads?"

Akitsu looked down at the clothing her Ashikabi, somehow, had conjured up out of the very air. She didn't know it, but they were very similar to the ones she wore in other timelines, had she become the minion of Mikogami, a sort of kimono that exposed a very sizeable portion of her cleavage. Only, they were the colour of the pitch-black void of the event horizon of a black hole, with icy blue trimming like the eyes of B'gnu-Thun(1).

"Ah…I like them," she said.

"I'm glad. They used to belong to a priestess of mine. Unfortunately, the poor girl got nommed by a Shoggoth I was trying to housetrain," Nyarlathotep said with a shrug. "So…you wanna be my priestess, Akitsu?"

A number of thoughts went through Akitsu's mind. Firstly, that this man was insane to think of himself as a god. Secondly, despite the insanity of such a proclamation, he had used powers no human could use. Thirdly, he had done the impossible, and made it possible for her to be Winged.

That, plus the fact that she had no knowledge of the Cthulhu Mythos or HP Lovecraft, meant that her response was a simple, "Yes, my Ashikabi."

"Hey, call me Nyarlathotep, Akitsu," Nyarlathotep said with a grin. "Anyway, this is going to be a nice, fun, relaxing vacation."

"Vacation?"

"Why, yes. D'you know how often I get called upon to act as the Emissary of the Outer Gods? And ever since that lugubrious loon Lovecraft advertised our presence, well, we had all sorts of idiots crawling out of the woodwork, demanding our attention. And while I like getting worshipped and all, well, it's now becoming like being nagged by a bunch of needy children. One stupid little teenager called me to make a girl like him. I decided to visit her to find out her opinion on him, and, well…let's just say I flayed him alive. Don't feel bad. He was planning on killing her boyfriend horribly anyway. And I needed a new cover for my copy of the Necronomicon. The old one was getting a bit…tatty."

Akitsu didn't know what to say to that. So she decided to change the subject. "Where are we going, Nyarlathotep?"

"Dinner! Tell me Akitsu, how long has it been since you've eaten a decent meal?"

Akitsu considered the question, before she admitted, "A few days." Dinners scrounged from bins didn't count, of course.

"Well, let's remedy that! The last time I was in town, before this was called Shinto Teito, I knew this lovely little restaurant. Thankfully, their dress code is lax enough that you'll just get stared at, rather than told to leave…"

* * *

Takami nodded grimly. The restaurant that Akitsu and her new Ashikabi had entered had means that they could use to contact the mysterious Ashikabi. Sighing, knowing that this meant she would no longer have her footstool, she got off the chair, and kicked Minaka awake. "Wake up you idiot!"

Minaka stirred, his glasses askew. "Wuh? Mummy, it's the weekend. And I stayed up all night playing the latest _Dragon Quest_ game(2)." On his brain fully rebooting, he sat up. "Huh? What happened? And why do I feel like Shizuo Heiwajima beat the shit out of me(3)?"

"Minaka, we found a location where the Ashikabi who Winged Akitsu can be contacted at," Takami said. She also reflected privately that it was impossible for anyone to beat the shit out of Minaka, if only because he was so full of shit in the first place. "I just thought you'd want to go and get yourself ready to do your megalomaniacal nutjob routine."

"Bah! You have no appreciation for the fine and subtle art of making a grand entrance," Minaka huffed, getting to his feet, before striding out. "Make sure that we're ready to transmit to our mystery Ashikabi soon, Takami!"

* * *

Akitsu had to admit, she enjoyed the meal. Her clothing attracted stares, true, but it wasn't exactly a top-end restaurant. Still, the food was better than she had had for some time, even before she escaped MBI after killing that stupid adjuster.

As they drank afterwards, Akitsu asked, "Nyarlathotep…how much do you know about the Sekirei Plan?"

"Oh, quite a bit. You see, your desperation called out to me, and, well, I looked around. I'm not exactly omniscient, but on an area of interest, I can see a lot when I focus on them. Not everything, but I get the general gist. I know some idiot of a mad scientist cum would-be god has basically set you lovely ladies up in a battle royale to the death, more or less. Setting you up to find your chosen partners, only to fall in battle, and only a lucky few will survive. Well, I'm going to be a spanner in the works. For kicks, really. Like I said, I needed a vacation, and I was bored."

"Ah."

"Incidentally, if anyone asks, I go by the name of Randall Flagg(4). I actually like Stephen King better than HP Lovecraft. Apart from anything else, most of his books are thick enough to beat a man to death with. I should know, I once did that to someone with a hardback copy of _The Stand_."

Any further conversation on that, or indeed any other subject, was derailed when the waiter came around with a laptop on a tray. "Sorry, but you have a call."

"On a laptop? Someone wants to Skype me?"

"Something like that."

The laptop was opened, and as the waiter walked away, the screen lit up. It revealed a man Nyarlathotep had only seen on the TV while walking the streets of Shinto Teito. White hair, white suit, white cape like something out of a cheesy manga. His glasses were opaque in the lighting. _Toccata and Fugue in D Minor_ was playing in the background, the bombastic organ version that was such a horror and mad scientist cliché.

And then, he spoke. Well, exclaimed, anyway. " _Greetings, to you, mysterious Ashikabi! And congratulations on joining the Sekirei Game!_ "

After a moment, Nyarlathotep conjured up a card with a number on it. Namely, the number 3. The man blinked. " _What? Is that out of five?_ " he asked in a mixture of hope and outrage _in potentia_.

"Ten. And that's being generous. I like _Toccata and Fugue in D Minor_ , but it's overused. And are you trying to look like a rejected supervillain from a comic book?"

" _Excuse me, but I didn't call you to have you criticize my taste in music or_ haute couture," the man said huffily.

" _Haute couture?_ High fashion? You must've been high when you thought that ensemble was a good idea," Nyarlathotep snarked. "Anyway, what is it that you want? I don't like gooseberries when I'm trying to have a nice dinner with a fine young lady."

The man spluttered, before he finally said, " _Fine, fine, I'll get straight to the point. As you're new in town, allow me to introduce myself. I am Hiroto Minaka, the CEO of Mid-Bio Informatics. By Winging Number 07, Akitsu, as impossible as such a feat should have been, you have just been conscripted into the Sekirei Game! The rules are simple: 108 Sekirei have been released into this city. They are to fight until only the last Sekirei and their Ashikabi, whether the Sekirei are singular or plural, are left standing. They then are worthy to ascend._ "

Nyarlathotep stared at the screen for a moment, before he broke out into laughter. "Seriously? Just those vague instructions? Nothing to do with a definite prize? Two out of ten for the motivational speech, Minaka."

" _Well, maybe this will raise up the score_ ," Minaka said sulkily. " _You can't tell anyone not in the know about this, otherwise, we might just have to silence them. Oh, and if you try to escape the city…kaboom!_ "

"One and a half out of ten. Oh, don't worry," Nyarlathotep said as Minaka's smile became a touch fixed. "I had no intention of leaving this city any time soon. In fact, I think I've just found something to amuse me. Rest assured, Hiroto Minaka, you'll be seeing Gods before long. Just not the ones you expect."

As he made to close the laptop, Minaka said, " _Wait a moment! I want your name!_ "

"My name? I guess you can call me…Randall Flagg." And with that, he shut the laptop, before gesturing over the waiter. "May I have the bill please?"

* * *

Now, lunatic though Minaka was, he wasn't stupid. In fact, he was a genius. So a couple of things came immediately to mind. The first was that Flagg had given him a threat. The second was that 'Randall Flagg' was the name of a recurring villain from Stephen King's books, most notably _The Stand_. So it seemed like an obvious alias.

Minaka couldn't understand why, but he now felt a strange sense of unease. Small, true, but it was there. He wrote it off as being caused by the concussion he had suffered courtesy of Takami.

In truth, it was something more primal. Something that had, instinctively, recognised what he had seen…

 **CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Nyarlathotep's made a declaration of war, and Minaka is getting a premonition of doom that he will ignore. Poor, stupid bastard…oh, wait. Scratch the 'poor' part. He's got lots of money, and he doesn't deserve pity.**

 **1\. Fittingly given that I'm describing clothes for Akitsu, B'gnu-Thun is an Outer God (albeit written in after the Lovecraftian stories, AFAIK) who is an ice god, associated with a blizzard, described as 'cyanotic' in colour. Which means blue, BTW.**

 **2\. It's an urban myth, but one commonly accepted, that a** ** _Dragon Quest_** **game can only be sold on a weekend than a weekday in Japan, due to schoolchildren ditching school to play it. That's how popular the series is.**

 **3\. For those of you not familiar with** ** _Durarara!_** **, Shizuo Heiwajima is a waiter with a hair-trigger temper and, for various reasons, super strength. No, seriously, this guy can lift vending machines with relative ease and hurl them. Although he has a short fuse, Shizuo is actually a decent guy who doesn't want to be violent, which is sort of fitting, as his name is made of the characters for 'serene man' and 'peaceful island'. Unfortunately, a lot of things piss him off, chief amongst them amoral information broker and all-round troll Izaya Orihara.**

 **4\. AKA the antagonist of many of Stephen King's books, most notably** ** _The Stand, The Eyes of the Dragon_** **, and** ** _The Dark Tower_** **series. He is identified as Nyarlathotep in The Stand, amongst other names.**


	18. Gnothi Seauton Chapter 1

**This one will definitely be something of a departure for what I've written so far. If I do do a complete story of this, it will be the first _Pokémon_ story I do. Yeesh.**

 **Anyway, this one was inspired by one of mellra's challenges, one where Mewtwo escapes from the lab shortly after AmberTwo's death, and ends up in Pallet, meeting a younger Ash, and becoming part of the Ketchums. Unlike the sample chapter given, as well as mysteryfandsomsareblue's _Mewted_ , Mewtwo isn't a childish innocent abroad, nor is he going to be Ash's Pokémon. Instead, he's going to be travelling with Ash as a Pokémon researcher in the field, working for Oak, as part of his desire to discover more about himself (the title is Greek for 'know thyself'). He's also basically the Sasuke to Ash's Naruto, and when I say that, I mean in a good way. Mewtwo will be broody and cynical beyond his years (partly due to finding out his purpose from his creators as he broke free), but he is far better than how he was in his debut in the movie, and while he will want revenge against Team Rocket, he's not as obsessed with it as Sasuke is, partly because he has had Ash, Delia, and Oak as moral compasses. Mewtwo will act as Ash's voice of reason, while Ash will act as Mewtwo's heart.**

 **So, I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

 _ **GNOTHI SEAUTON**_

 **CHAPTER 1:**

 **THE BEGINNING**

 _My dearest sister,_

 _As always, I hope that there's some plane of existence where you still exist, along with the others, and that this missive reaches you. I guess hope springs eternal. The Professor, for all his knowledge, can't even tell me whether there is an afterlife. Only Arceus knows, I'm sure._

 _In any case, tomorrow's the day. I've spent four years now in Pallet. Four years as part of a family. To the rest of the town, and the world in general, I am Cole Ketchum(_ _1)_ _. Only Ash, Delia, and the Professor know who and what I am. Even Ash, bless his indiscreet little heart, has kept the secret. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, you'd like him. He's not the brightest of kids, and he has a tendency to rush off into danger when I'm not around to stop him. But he has a good heart, and his determination is boundless._

 _Tomorrow's the day when Ash is able to become a Pokémon trainer. So too will the Professor's grandson. I've never been able to get along with him: how the Professor has a grandson like that arrogant brat, I'll never know. Seriously, he has his own fanclub, somehow, and in a small town like Pallet, too. Anyway, I'll be heading out with Ash. I'm becoming a field researcher on Pokémon. Yeah, it sounds weird, researching my own kind. But I feel this is my path. There's the old saying_ , gnothi seauton. _Know yourself. And I still do not know myself, even as I learn more about myself and the world._

 _I am both unique, and not. I straddle the line between Pokémon and human. I am powerful, and yet, there are those who seek to harness my power. Team Rocket is still out there, along with the man who hired your father. The man who ordered my creation, so that he could create his own personal weapon. I refuse to allow him to dictate the purpose of my existence, my dear sister. I may hide for now, but should he or his underlings threaten me and mine, he will regret it._

 _I can still hear Ash watching the battles on TV, and this late too. We discussed whether I should act as his Pokémon, but I decided I will act with him, though not as part of his Pokémon team. But I will not let him come to harm if I can help it. I will protect him. I may not have been able to stop you from dying, any more than your father could. But I will protect Ash._

 _I'd better get to sleep._ _ **Someone**_ _has to be responsible. I hope you enjoy this letter, wherever you are, Amber._

 _Love,_

 _Mewtwo._

* * *

It was early the next morning. Amethyst eyes opened, and a semi-feline face opened in a yawn. A bizarre figure drifted out of bed on a haze of psychokinetic energy, drifting to its feet lazily. It felt like there was something important that it was missing.

It left the bedroom, and made its way through the house, to find a woman and a Pokémon, a Mr Mime, preparing breakfast. The woman, who had brown hair framing a pretty face, turned to look at the figure, and smiled. "Good morning, Mewtwo."

" _Good morning, Delia_ ," the figure responded, his words (for the voice was masculine) echoing through her mind. He was tall, vaguely feline in shape, but with a certain alien nature about him. He had grey skin, with the tail and abdomen pink. The head was vaguely feline, like the body, but with harder lines that gave him an almost reptilian look. The eyes were purple and, often had a stern look to them. But they were softened in the presence of the woman who had been his guardian and caretaker for the past four years.

"Is Ash not awake yet?" Delia asked.

" _Given how late he was up, watching those battles, I'm not surprised. I'd wake him, but I am in dire need of caffeine_ ," Mewtwo responded as he filled the kettle and then put it on via telekinesis. " _In any case, Professor Oak will have at least one spare Pokémon as a reserve starter, even if they're all taken. There's always that Pikachu we found eating at the wires. Though that will be at a disadvantage at the first Gym at Pewter, given that Viridian Gym is currently undergoing renovations. Then again, so would be a Charmander._ " Mewtwo yawned quietly.

"And…you're all right with going? I mean, considering that Team Rocket may be on the lookout for you?"

" _I can't stay here forever. If they ever got a notion I am here, they would raze this place to the ground out of spite. I've been lucky so far, but luck doesn't last forever. In any case, Ash needs someone to keep him safe and sound. Arceus knows he tends to leap before he looks. And besides, it's not like I'm going to find any trace of Mew sitting around here. I may not be able to find all the answers from my progenitor, but I'd be able to find something, I hope._ "

"Well, you'd better be careful, okay? You may act older than Ash, but you're still a child in many ways, Mewtwo, and even with your power…"

The genetically-engineered Pokémon nodded, even as he rolled his eyes. While he believed that his adoptive mother was being overly cautious, Mewtwo also knew that there were potential limits to his power, ones he hadn't dare try to reach, for fear of attracting the attention of Team Rocket to Pallet. The few agents who had made it here, he had erased any compromising memories, even if they hadn't seen him. He was tempted to erase every memory they had and leave them drooling vegetables for the Viridian City Officer Jenny to pick up, but Team Rocket might notice that, and put two and two together. Not at all desirable, understandably. So he just erased specific memories, things that wouldn't be missed.

The kettle finished boiling, and using telekinesis, Mewtwo filled his favourite mug (with the message 'GO AWAY, I'M ALLERGIC TO STUPID' on the side(2)) with hot water, dipped the teabag in, and let it steep. As he waited for his tea to brew, Mewtwo reflected on the events that led to him coming here.

It started with Amber's death. Well, AmberTwo, but Mewtwo had come to think of her as Amber. Given the information he had ripped from Fuji's mind before he escaped, he couldn't actually blame Fuji for joining Team Rocket, at least in hindsight. It was a truism that the road to hell was paved with good intentions, and Fuji was only trying to recreate a body for the daughter he loved. However, he also was trying to create an ultimate weapon for Team Rocket, and their leader.

When Amber and the clones of Bulbasaur, Charmander and Squirtle perished, Mewtwo was left alone, feeling loss for the first time. Amber's dying gift, beyond her words, had been her memories of her life, before she became a salvaged consciousness. And when Fuji tried to sedate Mewtwo, and erase those memories, well…he was too late.

Mewtwo broke free of the tube. In a psychic assault out of sheer pain and grief, he had absorbed the memories of many of those present. He learned of his purpose, and, in his confusion and fear, escaped the laboratory. Rather spectacularly, he later learned. He wasn't sure whether he should have felt guilty for the few scientists who actually died during his escape. They weren't evil by any means, not these ones, but they had been willingly creating a weaponised Pokémon for Team Rocket.

In rage and fear and grief, Mewtwo had flown away from his birthplace, running away, not caring about the 'to' as much as the 'from'. But his fledgling powers, while still impressive, were still very much finite. He had travelled at speeds few could track, breaking the sound barrier at least once, only his psychic powers preventing himself from being torn apart by the air pressure. His powers exhausted themselves eventually, and he crashlanded in a forest not far from Pallet Town.

The next thing he knew, he was in a bed, a human boy looking down at him in concern. This was Ash, then six years old. Although wary, Mewtwo's use of psychic powers allowed him to breathe a sigh of relief. The boy he would come to view as a little brother (despite Mewtwo, effectively, being much younger) had no ulterior motives, just a desire to help. So too did Ash's mother, Delia. And Professor Oak, who had helped tend to Mewtwo while he was unconscious, was motivated by curiosity as well as altruism. These three came to be the only humans he trusted.

Through them, he learned more about the world than what he gained through Amber (who had died young) and the scientists (whose memories he had gained were, admittedly, fragmented). He learned of the complex relationships humans and Pokémon had. Indeed, Mewtwo helped Oak's research significantly by acting as an interpreter between the Pokémon and Oak. Mewtwo had, in effect, become an important assistant to Oak, though whenever other humans were around, Mewtwo used his powers to change his appearance, like a holographic disguise. It might not hold up to a particularly powerful psychic, human or Pokémon, but it would work normally.

Ash, meanwhile, had grown into a brother figure. And while he didn't actually call her a mother to her face, Mewtwo thought of Delia as a mother figure. Neither of them cared that he was a Pokémon, or engineered to be a weapon. And neither did Oak. Mewtwo didn't have much in the way of relationships, whether it be that of family or of friends, but he had those three, and that had been enough.

With the tea brewed, he took the teabag out, added milk and sugar, and then, after stirring, he began to drink. " _I'm going to miss this place_ ," Mewtwo remarked. " _I'm certainly going to miss you, Delia, and Mimey. You have done so much for me, and out of the goodness of your heart._ "

Delia smiled at him. "Mewtwo…not everyone in the world is like Team Rocket. Sometimes, people do things for the right reasons. Have you got everything ready?"

" _Almost all of it_ ," Mewtwo said. " _Including the supplies Ash undoubtedly has forgotten. Food and medical supplies for humans and Pokémon, camping equipment, spare clothes, etcetera. The only things I lack are the Pokédex, the specialised capture balls, and the analyser prototype. Professor Oak will provide those. Oh, and my tea. I'll have to make sure I stock up whenever we come to a Pokémart._ "

With a gesture, Mewtwo telekinetically summoned a map of Kanto, and peered at it. First, he and Ash would head north to Viridian City, before heading through the Viridian Forest to Pewter. That would be Ash's first Gym Battle, against Brock, a Gym Leader who specialised in Rock and Ground Pokémon. From there, they would head to Mount Moon, and then on to Cerulean City. The Waterflower sisters were the Gym Leaders there, though from what he had heard, the last one had apparently gone on sabbatical.

A plate with breakfast on it was placed down in front of him, and Mewtwo smiled at Delia. " _Thank you, Delia._ "

"You're welcome. Anyway, it's the last time you'll have a home cooked meal for a while. Better make the most of it," Delia said, returning his smile.

Mewtwo chuckled. " _Yeah. I'll probably have to do the actual cooking while we're camping. Ash is very well-named, given what he turns food into._ "

The breakfast went on, until Mewtwo realised he had forgotten to wake Ash up. He looked at the clock, and thought, _Damn_.

At about the same time he thought that, he heard Ash yell, "GAH! I'M LATE!"

* * *

It was a little later. Mewtwo was in his human disguise, as a tall, lanky teenager with short blonde hair, an outfit that made him look a bit like a waiter (white shirt, black bowtie, waistcoat and trousers), and tinted glasses. His expression was usually set in a mild scowl (something Gary Oak recently called a Resting Bitch Face, much to Mewtwo's irritation), and his voice, while the same, didn't have the same mental reverb, instead sounding vocal(3). He and Ash were standing in Professor Oak's lab, the latter both annoyed and tired from sprinting here and confronting Gary's little departure party. "Where in Arceus' name did Gary get a limousine and cheerleaders?" Mewtwo asked.

Oak shrugged. "My grandson is something of a prodigy, Mewtwo, but his parents indulge him rather shamefully."

"And yet, I managed to beat him rather handily in that examination," Mewtwo said with a smirk. "Something for which he hasn't forgiven me for."

Ash waved off Mewtwo's remarks. The boy with the messy mop of black hair was still in his pyjamas. "That isn't important. Professor, I need to ask, have you got any Pokémon left?"

Oak sighed. He had iron grey hair framing a stern but friendly face. "None of the standard Kanto starters. I'm sorry. The others came here early, and I hadn't expected one of them to come. I believe Gary got a Squirtle. It will be some time before I can get a hold of more. The early bird catches the worm, as the cliché goes. Or in this case, the Pokémon."

Mewtwo folded his arms. "What about the one we caught yesterday?"

A concerned Oak met Mewtwo's gaze. "Do you think Ash is ready?"

"It's better than nothing, and in any case, consider this a means of testing Ash's ability to deal with an untamed Pokémon. At least it's better than he try something like that one instead of, say, a Gyarados."

Oak pursed his lips pensively, before reluctantly nodding. "Very well." Oak then went over to a Pokéball, and released the Pokémon within.

The Pokémon was the size of a rabbit and the rough shape of a mouse, with yellow fur, dark tips to the ears, red dots on its cheeks (organs for storing and discharging electricity, Mewtwo knew), a tail like a lightning bolt, and dark eyes. It tilted its head in bemusement and curiosity. " _Pikachu?_ "

Ash knelt down next to Pikachu. His first impulse was to hug him, but time spent with Mewtwo and Oak taught him that doing so to a wild or recently-captured Pokémon might go badly, no matter how cute it was. Plus, Mewtwo had tutored him about various Pokémon, and he knew a little about them, and getting nearly electrocuted wasn't on the agenda for today. "Hi there, Pikachu. I'm Ash."

Pikachu looked at him uncertainly, especially when he noticed Mewtwo nearby. Clearly, the electric mouse Pokémon remembered Mewtwo's Psychic move, pulling Pikachu a little roughly out from where he had been chewing on cables. Mewtwo had been somewhat less gentle than he could have been, but as Pikachu had caused a particularly vital file to become corrupted when the power shut off to his computer, Mewtwo had, understandably, been somewhat irritated.

"Anyway," Ash said, mustering up his reserves of diplomacy, "I'm going to be a Pokémon Trainer, the best that I can be, the best that ever has been. Would you like to be my partner?"

Pikachu ambled over, and sniffed at Ash. He then looked at Mewtwo, and asked, " _Pika-pi?_ "

"I am his brother," Mewtwo responded, his psychic ability allowing him to understand the Pikachu. "As long as you don't hurt him, I won't do anything to you."

"… _Chu? Pika-pika chu?_ " The Pikachu gestured at the Pokéball in Oak's hand.

"He's asking whether he can stay out of the Pokéball for the time being," Mewtwo said. "He doesn't seem exactly sold with the idea of going with a Trainer, especially one associated with me, but he'd prefer it to being kept in there."

"Well, sure, Pikachu! If you want, you can stay out," Ash said. He put his hand out for the electric Pokémon to shake.

A warning glare from Mewtwo cut off any possible notion that Pikachu might shock Ash, so the electric Pokémon merely shook his hand. Still, the fact that Ash had readily agreed to keep Pikachu out of the Pokéball had caused the Pokémon to at least stay with Ash for now. And it seemed that Ash was ready for his journey…well, he would be once he got dressed…

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Mewtwo's a Ketchum, and a different meeting has occurred between Ash and Pikachu. Don't worry, Pikachu will warm to Ash…and eventually, Mewtwo.**

 **1\. Choosing Mewtwo's alias as an adopted member of the Ketchums was a bit hard. I eventually decided on Cole as a pun on 'coal', or rather, charcoal, which is, like ash, the product of a fire.**

 **2\. I actually have this mug. No, really. It's my favourite mug too.**

 **3\. Mewtwo's human appearance took some thought, but I eventually decided on a teenaged version of Shizuo Heiwajima from** ** _Durarara!_**


	19. Mad Scientists Can (Original) Chap 1

**Now this one will be an interesting and unusual one. This is basically a crossover between _Girl Genius_ and _My Hero Academia_ , though it's more of the latter than the former. While elements of _Girl Genius_ will be in the storyline (the Spark, Izuku is descended from Sparks who fled to the world of _My Hero Academia_ to escape the Other), the focus is more on Izuku being a hero with the Spark...along with One for All.**

 **Also, for any fans of Katsuki, I'm gonna bash the everloving fuck out of him. He's a bully and an arsehole with no redeeming features this early on in _My Hero Academia_. FFS, he even incites Izuku to commit suicide. Izuku will be less of a wimp and less optimistic than in canon, but he will still be, overall, the same good-natured kid he is.**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoy.**

 **EDIT: After looking back on this, I've decided to revise this story. I'll post the new initial chapters later. It felt awkward, especially with how All Might was going to give One for All to Izuku, but in my new version, there's more logic to it. I'll post the new version of the first chapter soon...**

* * *

 _ **MAD SCIENTISTS CAN BE HEROES TOO (ORIGINAL)  
**_

 **CHAPTER 1:**

 **BREAKING THROUGH**

"YOU FOOLS! I'LL DESTROY YOU ALL!"

This was an unexpected utterance, to say the least, not least because of who was saying it. Okay, in hindsight, it was a fair assumption to say what triggered this outburst, but it was still a shock. It was like hearing a mouse suddenly emit a roar like a lion(1).

After all, it was Izuku Midoriya who emitted said roar. And his meekness often made a mouse look strong by comparison.

Izuku Midoriya was Quirkless. In other words, he was part of the 20% of the world's population who apparently didn't have a power of some sort. And yet, despite this, he had aspirations to being a hero.

Unfortunately, one of the most persistent naysayers was an acquaintance and former friend by the name of Katsuki Bakugo. Katsuki was, frankly, a bullying arsehole of the highest order who had a Quirk allowing him to sweat nitroglycerine and explode it safely…for him, anyway. However, Katsuki had just used said power to destroy his notebook. And then, he had taunted him, suggesting that Izuka commit suicide, and then maybe he might get reborn with a Quirk. And that had been the final straw.

Imagine a dam bursting. Imagine all that water bursting forth and sweeping away everything in its path. Imagine the sheer force and power of all that water, held back by the designs of man, only to be suddenly unleashed. And imagine that, sweeping through the mind of a teenaged boy, the fury and the wrath.

Except, even with it being a raging flood, there was something being shaped in its wake that was more orderly than what a flood did. Things became sharper, clearer. Izuku was always a smart boy, with his highest grades being in the sciences and mathematics (yet another thing for Katsuki to bully him about), but it felt like his thoughts were going to the next level, fire burning along his neural pathways. The fire of Prometheus.

What was even more unsettling was that, as the floodwaters began to sink, even if the turmoil they left still boiled and raged, he looked at Izuka, and could see, very readily, the weakpoints of the human body. It was like he was the Terminator, and saw little arrows pointing here and there, telling him how to take down the foolish bastard who had cruelly taken his notebook away from him. A few blows here and there, and Katsuki would be sprawled on the floor of the classroom, broken. If not dead.

He recoiled from that. Dead? Over a notebook? As he flinched inwardly at his own thoughts, Katsuki and his posse were staring at him in bemusement. "Uhh, Katsuki? What's with Deku?"

Katsuki, for the first time in a while, didn't have an angry glare or a contemptuous sneer or smirk on his face. Instead, he had a look of surprise and shock that looked alien to his face. "…I dunno. Maybe Deku's finally gone round the bend at the thought he's a Quirkless loser," he said, regaining his usual contempt, before swaggering out the door.

Round the bend? He'd never felt more sane in his entire life. He didn't care what the others staring at him thought, either. No…all he cared about was that he knew, no matter what Katsuki or the others thought, mocking him, he WOULD be a hero…

* * *

The strange madness had died down, the raging inferno (wow, he was changing elemental metaphors from water to fire) dying down to a gentle blaze. The spark was still there. No, it deserved capital letters. The Spark.

His vision seemed keener and clearer now, his perception sharper. He could see how things worked around him, buildings, machines, people…and he found them wanting. He wanted to take them apart, put them back together, deconstruct them and reconstruct them so that they would be better than ever.

It was only his senses being sharper and clearer than ever that he was able to sense the thing emerging from the manhole that he had just stepped over. He heard a faint slurping noise, and then, a distorted voice murmuring, "A medium-sized body to hide in…"

Izuku dodged just in time to avoid a dark green thing lunging at him. He yelped in surprise, dodging attack after attack. "Hey, stop dodging, kid! Calm down! I just wanna borrow your body for a bit! I mean, it'll only hurt for…45 seconds? And then, it'll all be over…"

"Go away!" Izuku yelled, even as his mind went into overdrive, trying to figure out weak points. The creature in front of him was an amorphous mass of dark green sludge with eyes and jagged teeth.

"Pfft, ain't gonna happen kid. Come on, I need your help. You'll be a real hero, saving me from him. Never thought he'd be in this town…"

As Izuku dodged another attack, he wondered who he was talking about. He then punched at the sludge man's eye, and caused him to screech. But then, the manhole cover the villain had oozed from burst open. "Never fear, kid!" roared the figure who leapt from it. "I have arrived!"

Izuku gaped, and the sludge villain whirled to face the newcomer, and swore vehemently. "All Might?" Izuku whispered.

For it was, indeed, All Might. A big burly bear of a man with huge muscles, blonde hair swept up into two antennae-like points, his face almost always in a wide grin, his eyes always in shadow. "TEXAS SMASH!" All Might roared, hitting the sludge being with a powerful blow that stunned him.

All Might then turned to Izuku. "My apologies for getting caught up in that, kid. This is a pretty unfamiliar part of the world to me, and letting him get away is not a mistake I would have made, normally. Still, thanks for distracting him." With that, the burly man began gathering the stunned sludge man and putting him into a large soft drink bottle.

Izuku tried his best not to fanboy out at his idol, the top hero in the world, being right there in front of him. All Might, the best known and mightiest hero. Instead, he gathered his thoughts, and asked, "Umm…sir?"

"Call me All Might, sir makes me feel old," the large man said with his habitual grin. "And if it's an autograph you want, I'll be too-happy to oblige once I'm done."

"Oh, that'd be great…but that's not what I wanted to ask you. I wanted to ask you…a serious question. About…about what it means to be a hero." Izuku went over and helped him gather the stunned slime man.

All Might may not have lost his grin, but there was something about his body language that changed, making him seem more solemn. "…Why do you ask?"

"…I was born without a Quirk. Or so I thought. Can a Quirk manifest itself in its teens?"

"…Well, that's rare, but I wouldn't say it's impossible. But you believe that you are, or were, Quirkless?" All Might asked, finishing his messy task.

"Yes. But…I have to ask…can someone born without a Quirk…can they become a hero like you? Only, I've always been picked on, and yet, maybe I think that saving people is the coolest, best thing I can do. You save all those people with that fearless smile of yours, and that's why I want to be the strongest, just like you."

All Might then emitted a sad chuckle, before he came over. "You said you wanted my autograph, kid?"

Izuku nodded, and pulled out the tattered notebook, what he salvaged after Katsuki destroyed it. All Might scrawled an autograph, only for him to convulse, and grimace, a speck of blood spurting from his mouth. "No! Not now! I…"

And then, he _changed_.

To Izuku's amazement, standing in front of him, in place of the burly, grinning All Might, was a skeletal figure, a grotesque lanky scarecrow with deep-set eyes and a painful grimace on his face. "Umm…are you okay?" Izuku asked, not sure whether this man was an impostor or something.

The man gave a pained chuckle. "No, I'm not. Before you ask, I'm All Might. And don't yell or anything. I'm lucky my transformation reverted here, and not on some crowded…gurk." This last syllable was accompanied by a stream of blood from the man's mouth, who wiped it away. "It's a bit like how some people hold in their beer belly at a pool. A fearless smile, huh? Kid, you're seeing the real me, though I don't want you posting about it on social media." He sat down on a nearby bench, before lifting up part of his now-baggy shirt.

Izuku stared in genuine horror. It looked like a massive crater, surrounded by lines of surgical stitching, a grotesque shatterpoint of scar tissue. "What happened?" he asked in understandable horror.

"A villain happened, five years ago. My lungs nearly gave up on me, and I had to have my stomach removed. As you can guess, it didn't really have the best effect on my health. I can really only do my hero work for maybe three hours a day."

"Five years ago? Was it Toxic Chainsaw who did that to you?" Izuku asked, recalling the fight.

All Might, if that was who he was, shook his head. "A lowlife like him couldn't have done this. I asked for it to be kept under wraps. I think you can understand why. A symbol of peace who saves the day with a smile can never be seen to fall to evil. I smile to stave off the pressure and fear I feel as it creeps up on me, threatens to become overwhelming. A professional hero must be willing to risk life and limb. It's not for the faint-hearted, or for those without the power to fight on the level of villains." The scarecrow shook his head. "I'm sorry to tell you this, kid. If you really think you've got a Quirk that somehow awoke later in your life, then maybe you've got a chance. And anyway, there's always being a police officer. I mean, Villain Custody Officers may be the butt of jokes, but in truth, they're good people who do good work."

"…So that's it? Just because I may not have a Quirk means I don't have a chance?" Izuku asked, stifling his anger and shame at being told off by his idol.

"…Kid, it's not wrong to dream, but you need to be realistic. You can do great things in the world without having a Quirk…" A thought seemed to occur to All Might, before he asked, "Kid…are you truly willing to risk your life to help others?"

"…Yes."

"…Even those who bullied you? Even villains?"

"…Yes."

All Might peered at him with his beady little eyes, sunk in those sockets. They felt like they were peering into the depths of his soul. After a moment, he said, "Even with that hesitation, I can see your conviction. And you acted, despite having no Quirk. I saw the aftermath of your punch just as I exited. And you helped me gather him up. Not afraid to stand up for yourself or do dirty work, even with no Quirk, unless you do have one."

"I don't know. I mean, the doctor we saw when I was young…he claimed I wouldn't have one…and yet, earlier today…well, it's like I could see things…how things work. How they're put together. How to make them better. It felt like I went a little mad for a while."

All Might looked thoughtful. He peered into Izuku's eyes once more, before he nodded. "Kid, I don't think that's a Quirk. Actually, I have an idea." He handed Izuku a phone. "This got broken earlier. I want to see if you know why."

Izuku, almost by instinct, despite having never really tried to repair a mobile phone, instantly did so, disassembling it with dextrous, instinctive movements he was certain he had never used. "Well, there's your problem. This bit's come loose, and I don't think this bit is meant to be burnt out. Now, I put this here, and the other bit there…ooh, and I can improve this…"

Fifteen minutes passed, with Izuku humming gently as he worked on the phone, All Might looking on, occasionally drooling blood from his mouth. Then, he was done, and handed it over. The emaciated hero looked at it, activated it, and blinked. "Huh. My reception's the best it's been in ages. And you've never tried to do that in your life?"

"No, never. I mean, I like science, math and technology, but I've never tried to repair a smartphone before. Never even knew how."

All Might grinned painfully. "Then I think I know what you actually have, kid. In fact, I think it'll be just as good as a Quirk. You, kid, have _the Spark_."

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Okay, so it doesn't happen like in canon. All Might's only considering giving Izuku his power, rather than deciding then or there, but that's because Izuku didn't make him drop the bottle by accident, and allowed that slime guy to go on another rampage.**

 **1\. This is a very oblique reference to a comedy film starring Peter Sellers,** ** _The Mouse that Roared_** **. Which also starred a certain William Hartnell, aka the First Doctor from** ** _Doctor Who_** **.**


	20. Mad Scientists Can (Revised) Chapter 1

**After considerable thought, I decided to revise _Mad Scientists Can Be Heroes Too!_ (I've also added an exclamation mark to the title) I needed All Might to have a better reason for giving Izuku One for All, and I wanted Izuku to have already gained the Spark, and so have it a little more under his control. So, here's what will hopefully be the start of a better version of the story.**

* * *

 _ **MAD SCIENTISTS CAN BE HEROES TOO! (REVISED)**_

 **CHAPTER 1:**

 **A SPARK OF MADNESS**

In a darkened room, a teenaged boy with messy green hair hunched over some delicate machinery, muttering to himself as he fiddled with it with some tool or other. All around him were various pieces of junk, in various states of repair and/or assembly, looming out of the darkness in semi-monstrous shapes. The darkness was only broken by a single desk lamp.

Izuku Midoriya was already considered somewhat strange by his peers, if they didn't look at him with contempt. After all, in a world where 80% of all people had a 'Quirk' or special ability, he was one of the unlucky 20% to be born Quirkless. And yet, in spite of his lack of a Quirk, he still wanted to be a hero.

This attitude got him more than a little teasing, especially from a boy who used to be his friend. Katsuki Bakugo, a boy with a Quirk that made him sweat nitroglycerin, was, frankly, an obnoxious bully. In a perverse way, though, Izuku had Katsuki to thank for giving him his true power, something beyond Quirks.

While seemingly similar to Quirks, what he had was not actually a Quirk, or at least not triggered by the same genes. It was something he only learned recently ran in his mother's side of the family, but had been dormant, at least in her. She had been both frightened, and yet, perversely relieved, when he gained _the Spark_.

It had been triggered when Katsuki had knocked Izuku to the ground, causing him to hit his head pretty hard, and followed it up with a couple of kicks to the head. That was about a year ago, and Katsuki had, inadvertently and perversely literally, kickstarted Izuku's breakthrough, the emergence of his Spark.

Imagine a dam bursting. Imagine all that water bursting forth and sweeping away everything in its path. Imagine the sheer force and power of all that water, held back by the designs of man, only to be suddenly unleashed. And imagine that, sweeping through the mind of a teenaged boy, the fury and the wrath.

Except, even with it being a raging flood, there was something being shaped in its wake that was more orderly than what a flood did. Things became sharper, clearer. Izuku was always a smart boy, with his highest grades being in the sciences and mathematics (yet another thing for Katsuki to bully him about), but it felt like his thoughts were going to the next level, fire burning along his neural pathways. The fire of Prometheus.

What was even more unsettling was that, as the floodwaters began to sink, even if the turmoil they left still boiled and raged, he had looked at Katsuki, and could see, very readily, the weak points of the human body. It was like he was the Terminator, and saw little arrows pointing here and there, telling him how to take down the foolish bastard who had cruelly taken his notebook away from him. A few blows here and there, and Katsuki would be sprawled on the playground, broken. If not dead.

He had recoiled from that. Dead? Katsuki was an arsehole, but dead?

Then again, why settle for dead, when he could show Katsuki he COULD be a hero without a Quirk? Hence what he was doing now.

Izuku's mutterings began to raise in volume, until they reached a decibel level achieved usually by very expensive speakers used for concerts. "They say I can't get into UA without a Quirk, did they? A Quirkless person has no business being a hero, did they? They called me mad, laughed at me? Well, I'LL SHOW THEM ALL! HE WHO LAUGHS LAST LAUGHS HARDEST! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

A knock on his workshop's door. "Izuku, dear, I know you're working, and it's good to hear you enjoying yourself, but can you keep it down? I don't want the neighbours complaining about the laughter again," came the muffled voice of his mother, Inko.

"I'll try, Mum." He then returned his attention to the mechanism, humming quietly as he did so. _Now, if I can just reverse the polarity of the neutron flow(1)_ …

* * *

The Spark. Many names have been given to it, with the Spark being the most popular. Malign Hypercognitive Dementia, Aperture Syndrome, the Super-Cognitive Interpretation Zone(2), the Madness Place…or, in some people who valued blunt and cruel simplicity over euphemistic labelling…Mad Scientist Disease.

It is a little-known fact that, about a couple of centuries before these events took place, a mysterious group of people turned up all of a sudden in Eastern Europe. They claimed to be refugees from another dimension (where mad scientists ruled the world, _badly_ ), fleeing an attack on a city called Mechanicsburg by an entity known only as the Other. Most of them integrated quietly, well, relatively so into society. Some people in the know think that it was a Spark's experiment gone awry that led to the creation of Quirks. That certainly made a lot of sense to Izuku: meddling with things man was supposedly not meant to know often had unexpected results.

While Quirks tend to appear either from birth, or during early childhood, most Sparks (the term applied to both the ability and the person possessing it) emerge during adolescence. This was called a 'breakthrough'.

Those with the Spark can enter a heightened state of consciousness for a period of time, where they are able to actually perceive more information than most people could normally. They can make intuitive leaps to create gadgets, machines, even bioengineered creatures that it'd be impossible or almost impossible to do otherwise. However, in the process…well, they act like a villain, all hammy and loud, and they lose touch with their morality. That's why it's called the Madness Place. It doesn't necessarily make one with the Spark evil, just less moral or more amoral.

How did he know all this? Well, his mother had learned from her own father, who was descended from one of those Spark refugees, Klaus Barry Heterodyne(3). And through her, Izuku had inherited the Spark, dormant in his mother, but now burning within him…

* * *

"YOU FOOLS! I'LL DESTROY YOU ALL!"

This was an unexpected utterance, to say the least, not least because of who was saying it. Okay, in hindsight, it was a fair assumption to say what triggered this outburst, but it was still a shock. It was like hearing a mouse suddenly emit a roar like a lion(4).

After all, it was Izuku Midoriya who emitted said roar. And his meekness often made a mouse look strong by comparison.

Katsuki had gone too far, using his explosive powers to destroy his notebook. And then, he had taunted him, suggesting that Izuku commit suicide, and then maybe he might get reborn with a Quirk. And that had been the final straw.

Katsuki and his posse were staring at him in bemusement. "Uhh, Katsuki? What's with Deku?"

Katsuki, for the first time in a while, didn't have an angry glare or a contemptuous sneer or smirk on his face. Instead, he had a look of surprise and shock that looked alien to his face. "…I dunno. Maybe Deku's finally gone round the bend at the thought he's a Quirkless loser," he said, regaining his usual contempt, before swaggering out the door.

Round the bend? He'd never felt more sane in his entire life. He didn't care what the others staring at him thought, either. No…all he cared about was that he knew, no matter what Katsuki or the others thought, mocking him, he WOULD be a hero…

* * *

He was tempted to use what he had hidden in his backpack on Katsuki in revenge for the notebook, but resolved not to. He wanted to be a hero, and heroes didn't take revenge like that. Then again, heroes didn't bully others, and Katsuki most definitely did so, despite his own oft-repeated desire to be a hero.

He was trudging dejectedly through a tunnel when he heard a noise from behind him. He heard a faint slurping noise, and then, a distorted voice murmuring, "A medium-sized body to hide in…"

Izuku dodged just in time to avoid a dark green thing lunging at him. He yelped in surprise, dodging attack after attack. "Hey, stop dodging, kid! Calm down! I just wanna borrow your body for a bit! I mean, it'll only hurt for…45 seconds? And then, it'll all be over…"

"Go away! Bad touch!" Izuku yelled, even as his mind went into overdrive, trying to figure out weak points. The creature in front of him was an amorphous mass of dark green sludge with eyes and jagged teeth.

"Pfft, ain't gonna happen kid. Come on, I need your help. You'll be a real hero, saving me from him. Never thought he'd be in this town…"

As Izuku dodged another attack, he wondered who he was talking about. He then punched at the sludge man's eye, and caused him to screech. But then, the manhole cover the villain had oozed from burst open. "Never fear, kid!" roared the figure who leapt from it. "I have arrived!"

Izuku gaped, and the sludge villain whirled to face the newcomer, and swore vehemently. "All Might?" Izuku whispered.

For it was, indeed, All Might. A big burly bear of a man with huge muscles, blonde hair swept up into two antennae-like points, his face almost always in a wide grin, his eyes always in shadow. "TEXAS SMASH!" All Might roared, hitting the sludge being with a powerful blow that stunned him.

All Might then turned to Izuku. "My apologies for getting caught up in that, kid. This is a pretty unfamiliar part of the world to me, and letting him get away is not a mistake I would have made, normally. Still, thanks for distracting him." With that, the burly man began gathering the stunned sludge man and putting him into a large soft drink bottle.

Izuku tried his best not to fanboy out at his idol, the top hero in the world, being right there in front of him. All Might, the best known and mightiest hero. Instead, he gathered his thoughts, and asked, "Umm…sir?"

"Call me All Might, sir makes me feel old," the large man said with his habitual grin. "And if it's an autograph you want, I'll be too happy to oblige once I'm done."

"Oh, that'd be great…but that's not what I wanted to ask you. I wanted to ask you some serious questions." Izuku went over and helped him gather the stunned slime man.

"About what?"

"Well…I want to ask you…is it possible to be a hero without a Quirk? I mean, I have something that isn't actually a Quirk, but…I have to ask…can someone born without a Quirk…can they become a hero like you? Only, I've always been picked on, and yet, maybe I think that saving people is the coolest, best thing I can do. You save all those people with that fearless smile of yours, and that's why I want to be the strongest, just like you." Izuku shook his head, and took his bag off as All Might finished putting the slime man away, fishing around in it, before pulling out what looked like an oversized golf ball. He clicked a hidden switch on it, and gently threw it into the air, whereupon it hovered.

All Might frowned as he put the bottle into his pocket. "A drone of some sort?"

"One of the first things I created. There's probably better stuff at UA and other places. It's meant mostly to train people to dodge: it fires a weak electrolaser(5), enough to sting someone like a static shock. I have other things."

All Might looked over to Izuku. "…You have the Spark, don't you, boy?" he asked, thoughtful. "I recognise the style of a Spark's work. Brilliant, intuitive, and utterly uncopiable. I'd like to see this thing in action. Highest safe setting for a couple of minutes. I haven't got longer than that."

"Okay. Kalaylee(6)," Izuku said to the drone, which beeped, and began firing small bolts of electricity. All Might dodged them, grinning. But then, he grimaced, a speck of blood spurting from his mouth.

"No! Not now! I…"

And then, he _changed_.

To Izuku's amazement, standing in front of him, in place of the burly, grinning All Might, was a skeletal figure, a grotesque lanky scarecrow with deep-set eyes and a painful grimace on his face. The man was promptly hit by a bolt of electricity, and snarled quietly. Izuku promptly shouted the deactivation phrase. "Umm…are you okay?" Izuku asked, not sure whether this man was an impostor or something.

The man gave a pained chuckle. "No, I'm not. Before you ask, I'm All Might. And don't yell or anything. I'm lucky my transformation reverted here, and not on some crowded…gurk." This last syllable was accompanied by a stream of blood from the man's mouth, who wiped it away. "It's a bit like how some people hold in their beer belly at a pool. A fearless smile, huh? Kid, you're seeing the real me, though I don't want you posting about it on social media." He sat down on a nearby bench, before lifting up part of his now-baggy shirt.

Izuku stared in genuine horror. It looked like a massive crater, surrounded by lines of surgical stitching, a grotesque shatterpoint of scar tissue. "What happened?" he asked in understandable horror.

"A villain happened, five years ago. My lungs nearly gave up on me, and I had to have my stomach removed. As you can guess, it didn't really have the best effect on my health. I can really only do my hero work for maybe three hours a day. I reached my limit."

"Five years ago? Was it Toxic Chainsaw who did that to you?" Izuku asked, recalling the fight.

All Might, if that was who he was, shook his head. "A lowlife like him couldn't have done this. I asked for it to be kept under wraps. I think you can understand why. A symbol of peace who saves the day with a smile can never be seen to fall to evil. I smile to stave off the pressure and fear I feel as it creeps up on me, threatens to become overwhelming. A professional hero must be willing to risk life and limb. It's not for the faint-hearted, or for those without the power to fight on the level of villains." He then looked up at Izuku. "And you've got the Spark. I've fought against plenty of Madboys in my time. Can a Spark truly be a hero?"

"Why not?"

"Kid, when you go into the Madness Place, things like morality tend to go bye-bye. It's not wrong to dream, but you need to be realistic. You can do great things in the world without having a Quirk…" A thought seemed to occur to All Might, before he checked his pockets. "Oh, no no no!" he snarled, before he looked around. The bottle with the slime man in it was rolling around some distance away, now empty. "He's gotten away!"

"I'm sorry!" Izuku wailed, gathering up his backpack.

"I'll need to find him!" There was an explosion in the distance. "That must be him!" All Might roared, despite his emaciated frame. He dashed off, and Izuku followed.

* * *

The slime man had wasted no time finding a new victim. And Izuku was astonished to find that it was Katsuki. A small crowd had gathered, held back by the other heroes. And the other heroes weren't doing anything, though it seemed that they lacked the powers to deal with him.

"That slime guy absorbs people, takes them over, and uses their powers," All Might muttered grimly from where they were at the back of the crowd. "Maybe a shockwave might blast him off."

"What about sound?" Izuku asked, taking off his backpack again.

"That could work. It'd have to be sustained sound, though. Why do you…what is that?" All Might demanded.

Izuku pulled out what looked like the incestuous mutant offspring of a sawn-off shotgun and a trumpet. "I'm going to save Katsuki."

"You know him? He's a friend?"

"No. He bullies me. But…nobody else can save him. If I don't do this…" And with that, Izuku dashed forward through the crowd, his refined sound gun prototype in his arms, ignoring All Might's admonishing yelp. All Might had reached his limit, so he claimed. That was why Izuku did this.

Plus, the sound gun tended to work best against crowds. Against a single target, the sound tended to spread unless he was up close. Dangerous, yes, but hey, it was his first Death Ray built as a Spark. Plus, it was at least able to be at non-lethal levels.

The slime man noticed his approach. "Deku?" Katsuki rasped from within the embrace of his puppeteer.

"You? You're dead, boy!" snarled the slime man.

"You're making a lot of noise," Izuku snapped. "Try this." He fired the sound gun. A pulse of sound waves spat out, and hit the slime man, causing his body to ripple and distort like a reflection on the water.

The slime man fell partially off Katsuki, before it tried to lunge at Izuku. But someone got in the way. "True heroes are those that are willing to put their lives on the line to help others," All Might said with a pained grin, once more in his muscular form. "Thanks for reminding me, kid. _DETROIT SMASH!_ " With that roar, he smashed his fist into the ground, the shockwave blasting the slime man off Katsuki completely.

Izuku tumbled along the ground in the wake of the shockwave, Katsuki skidding to a halt nearby. And he looked over at his idol standing there, afterwards. And Izuku knew that, whatever happened after this day, he had made at least some difference.

* * *

It was some time afterwards. Izuku could tell that the heroes who had intended to fight the slime man were torn between berating Izuku for his recklessness, and praising him for having a weapon able to free Katsuki from the villain. Katsuki had no apparent qualms about the matter. He angrily berated Izuku for stooping to rescue him, before storming off.

And then, in a street nearby, All Might met up with him again. He shifted back to his emaciated form, coughing up a gout of blood, before wiping it from his lips. "Kid, I've come to thank you. You were reckless, but…you did good. In fact, if you didn't have the Spark, and did this anyway, I would have come to you with the same proposal." He looked pensive. "If you hadn't told me about what you wanted to be, how you looked up to me, being willing to charge into danger to save someone some people would leave behind…well, I'd be little more than fake muscles and insincerity."

"Thanks, but…if it weren't for me, the villain might not have gotten away, and…"

"Kid…it's fine. You worked to correct that mistake. You were afraid, I could see that, and that kid you saved was someone you said was a bully. And you helped him anyway. You acted as a spur for me, bringing me to action again. You had an inborn instinct to leap into the fray to help, even without a power. Kid…you can be a hero, even with…no, ESPECIALLY with the Spark. And what's more…I believe you're worthy of inheriting my true power…"

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Well, that happened.**

 **This version, while a lot is copied and pasted from the original version, does have significant differences. I needed to give All Might a reason to pass on One for All to Izuku, hence the drone fight distracting All Might and Izuku long enough for the slime villain to escape. I also think that Izuku having the Spark before the initial events of the story works out better.**

 **The sonic gun, in terms of effect (rather than appearance), was inspired by the Ice Warrior's weapons from _Doctor Who_ , particularly the classic series. For most of the classic series, they used a very simple, but very effective special effects technique to show the sound waves affecting their victims: using a flexible mirrored plastic called 'Mirrorlon', which they filmed a reflection of the action in, while pressing or tapping the Mirrorlon from behind.**

 **The use of a sound gun to blast off the slime villain was also partially inspired by a standard technique for defeating Venom and other Symbiotes from the Marvel comics.**

 **1\. A famous line from _Doctor Who_ , reportedly used multiple times by Jon Pertwee, but in fact, only used twice by him, though 'reverse the polarity' was used more often. It's also nonsense.**

 **2\. The SCI-Zone was used in my _Borderlands_ fanfic _Hooked on a Feeling_ , afflicting the OC who was the main character. His version of the Spark was far more Jekyll-and-Hyde, though.**

 **3\. In _Girl Genius_ canon, Klaus Barry Heterodyne is, supposedly, Agatha Heterodyne's long-dead older brother, though what his actual fate is remains to be seen. Here, Klaus actually survived, with a clone decoy killed, but he was forced to flee to the world of _My Hero Academia_. He is also Izuku's ancestor through his mother. More on him later. We won't be seeing many _Girl Genius_ characters, but we will be feeling the influence here…**

 **4\. This is a very oblique reference to a comedy film starring Peter Sellers, _The Mouse that Roared_. Which also starred a certain William Hartnell, aka the First Doctor from _Doctor Who_.**

 **5\. An electrolaser is actually a real life weapon, even if it's currently only in development, AFAIK. It uses a laser to ionise the air, before discharging a bolt of electricity down the laser-ionised air.**

 **6\. 'Kalaylee' is a command given to K9 by his creator Professor Marius in his debut story _Doctor Who: The Invisible Enemy_. It presumably is a code for an attack strategy of some kind.**


	21. Exobiology Chapter 1

**This one might be a touch unusual, and frankly, I don't know whether it will go anywhere. I very nearly consigned it to the heap of ideas I wouldn't continue. But the first chapter was almost done, and having done at least one one-shot crossover with the franchise in question, I decided to finish it. This is the result.**

 **The franchise in question is the Quatermass serials from the 50s. Yes, my username actually comes from somewhere. These three science fiction serials (plus a fourth done in the 70s) followed the adventures of Professor Bernard Quatermass, the lead scientist and head of the British Rocket Group, dealing with alien incursions. In a way, Nigel Kneale, the writer of the serials, basically set out the three paradigms of alien invasion stories with those serials: We Go to Them ( _The Quatermass Experiment_ ), They Come to Us ( _Quatermass II_ ), and They Were Always Here ( _Quatermass and the Pit_ ). The last serial of the 50s Quatermass stories is generally considered the best. The serials were also adapted into films by Hammer Horror. In addition, in 2005, the original serial was remade and, unusually for TV nowadays, was actually broadcast live (which the first three serials were, believe it or not, save for a few bits of pre-filmed footage). It's this 2005 remake that this story is largely based on.**

 **I did another one-shot crossover with _Doctor Who, Quatermass and the Doctor_. It was the first Quatermass crossover, and there has only been one other since, another one-shot by Old Toad, _Quatermass and the Tiger_. If this ever gets beyond the Compost Heap, this will be the first crossover that isn't a one-shot. What's more, it's a crossover with _Sekirei_. It may seem like an odd fit, but I think it works. Aliens and a man who has dealt with aliens who isn't called the Doctor? It'll be an interesting fit...**

 **Fans of _Mad Scientists Can Be Heroes Too!_ , don't despair! The second chapter will be posted some time later. That being said, the full story might take some time to post, as I need to think about the direction I want to take the story in after the passing of One for All. The third chapter is mostly fine, but I think more needs to be done...**

* * *

 _ **EXOBIOLOGY**_

 **CHAPTER 1:**

 **CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE WAGTAIL KIND**

Minato groaned as he hung up the phone. Despite everything, despite his uncle's tuition, he had folded under pressure. He had failed the university entrance exams, and was now a second-year ronin. And his mother had expressed her disappointment in him. Thankfully, he still had that work with his uncle to fall back on. It may not be glamorous, but it paid well enough. And his mother, for all her distant, and somewhat domineering façade, at least recognised that his Uncle Bernard was giving him decent work.

Not that he was actually their uncle. Minato Sahashi had once considered the possibility that Professor Bernard Quatermass may have been his father and that of his sister, Yukari. When he had broached the subject with his mother, she had laughed, somewhat bitterly, and remarked that she _wished_ that Quatermass was the father of her children. In any case, Quatermass was English, and neither Minato nor Yukari had any real Caucasian features. In truth, Quatermass was, despite being an uncle figure, the closest thing they had to a father.

Apparently his uncle once owned something called the British Experimental Rocket Group, a privately-owned space agency. However, fifteen years ago, in 2005, their first space launch ended in disaster, with the space capsule speeding out beyond lunar orbit, way beyond mission parameters, before finally returning. It was only recently that his uncle confessed the truth, with much of what happened covered up as a hoax, the reputation of Quatermass and the British Experimental Rocket Group thrown to the wolves to save the terminal career of Home Secretary Margaret Baker. Baker ended up with her career failing anyway.

Even so, it was hard to believe his uncle's words. The astronauts had encountered some sort of alien lifeform, whose original form Quatermass believed to be a form of living cosmic radiation. When it hit the astronauts, they were fused into a single lifeform that appeared to be one of them, Victor Carroon. But in truth, Carroon was four entities in one, and eventually escaped custody, rapidly mutating into a monster that took up residence in the Tate Modern art gallery. It was capable of spreading an infection that would engulf the entire world, turning all terrestrial life into an alien fungus. After a failed attempt to immolate the beast, Quatermass took a chance, as Carroon, and the other astronauts within the amalgamation, had been trying to warn them, and so, he tried to persuade the wills of the astronauts to commit suicide, and take the monster with it. He succeeded, with the monster perishing(1).

Not that he could offer such proof. The British government covered it up, and had sworn the surviving members of the BERG to secrecy, and they had been made scapegoats to try and save the career of Home Secretary Baker. Not that it worked. But Quatermass' career in sending rockets to space was over, or at least crippled, and, embittered with how the government treated him and his colleagues, he eventually left the country. He first headed to Australia, along with Judith Carroon and Gordon Briscoe. Eventually, though, he got restless, and headed to Japan.

Some years before he headed up the BERG, Quatermass was a lecturer, and had visited Japan to be a guest lecturer once, along with Dr Ludwig Reichenheim, one of the men who later became an astronaut on the ill-fated mission. It was there that he met Minato's mother, Dr Takami Sahashi, and her later colleague, Dr Takehito Asama. Quatermass actually got along better with Asama, but he still managed to make friends, of a sort, with Minato's mother.

In any case, in 2012, Quatermass returned to Japan, and managed to track down Minato's mother. His career was beginning to come back from the pit, having written a series of popular science books, and the Briscoes also opted to come to Japan, with Gordon setting up a practise as a GP, and Judith (now married to Gordon) becoming a mathematics lecturer at one of Shinto Teito's universities. And after reconnecting with Takami, Quatermass gradually became a known figure to Minato and Yukari. Eventually, Takami all but made him their guardian.

Minato sighed softly. At least his uncle wouldn't be as deeply disappointed as his mother. For all the crap his uncle had had to put up with during his career, he was less cold than his mother. And he gave him work. Okay, that was more like a research assistant, going through various books and articles, frequently to do with exobiology (or xenobiology: that is, speculating about alien biology) and space programs. But it paid a decent amount and, as long as he did a decent amount of chores, he was allowed to live with his uncle for fairly cheap. And considering rent prices in Shinto Teito, that was saying something. Even without that MBI corporation buying up the city.

Still, he hated the sting of losing like this. The lack of advancement, the lack of prestige. He'd certainly never get a girlfriend this way. It wasn't like they just fell out of the sky, was it?

"WATCH OUT!" screamed a very feminine voice from the skies, and Minato looked up in time to see a young woman collide with him, derriere-first, knocking him to the footpath, with said young woman sprawled across him. Well, she wasn't a girlfriend, but it seemed that it was, indeed, possible for beautiful young women to just fall out of the skies. Oh look, another couple had leapt down, somewhat more gracefully.

Minato, admittedly more than a little dazed by his sudden collision, tried to take stock. The young woman currently straddling him was brown-haired and eyed, rather buxom, and dressed in what could have been a miko or shrine maiden outfit, albeit with a ridiculously short skirt. The other two seemed to be sisters, practically twins, both dark haired and dressed in near-identical outfits like something out of a BDSM fantasy. And they were looking at the girl who had landed on him rather malevolently. And was it him, or was he seeing electricity crackle around their fists? Or was that a minor concussion talking?

"Nice jump," one of the twins remarked. "But you shouldn't have gotten this poor sap involved."

"I told you, I'm not fighting yet! At least not until I get my Ashikabi!" the girl who had landed on Minato protested. "Leave him out of it!"

"Excuse me," Minato said, as he got shakily to his feet, "but…why are you running around in clothes like that? Is there some sort of movie shoot going on?"

"Not exactly," the other twin said. "Look, we're not interested in you, just her. And if you know what's good for you, stay out of it."

"Look, maybe you need to just settle down and have talk about _IIIIIITTTT?!_ " This last syllable was elongated because the brown-haired girl in the fetishized miko outfit chose that moment to take him by the arm and run at incredible speed down the streets, just barely avoiding a blast of electricity from the twins…except the electricity had been purple.

 _Okay_ , Minato thought. _Try to remain calm. You are currently being pulled along by a rather buxom young woman who is currently running at speeds Usain Bolt would envy. And speaking of bolts, how did those women fire electricity from their hands? I'd think it'd be some sort of concealed taser or electrolaser, except…I don't think I've ever seen violet lightning before. And now that I come to think about it, all three leapt down from the roof of a building several stories high. How the hell did they survive that without injury…or injuring me for that matter when this one landed on me? Gah, remain calm. Remain calm. CAN'T REMAIN CALM!_

Soon, his erstwhile saviour or kidnapper finished running, coming to a halt. They were on one of the bridges near the riverside. She then spun around to face Minato as he slumped. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to land on you and drag you along like that!" she said, her tone the very epitome of contrition.

Minato nodded, trying desperately to get a handle on the moment. As much as he didn't know what the hell was going on, this girl had been running from those attacking her, and he had the feeling this wasn't a movie shoot. "It's…okay, I guess. So, who are you, anyway?"

"Oh, I'm Musubi! Pleased to meet you!" the woman said with a bow.

"Minato Sahashi…likewise," Minato said, his manners a little frayed by what had happened. "Umm, Musubi, what the hell was that all about? I mean, those two fired off lightning, and you're moving so fast, and…" Suddenly, he was interrupted by a massive growling noise, which Minato soon realised had to be Musubi's stomach. "Actually, you want to discuss that over dinner?"

Musubi nodded eagerly. Ah, if only he knew what he had let himself in for…

* * *

Minato and his uncle stared as Musubi wolfed down food at preternatural speed. They had both seen people eating at ridiculous speed in cartoons, both Western and anime, but here, they were seeing it in action. Minato had called his uncle on the way home, and they decided to get some takeaway to take home. It was a good thing they got a fairly large amount, albeit on Musubi's request.

Minato shared a bemused look with his uncle. His uncle had light brown hair, cut short, framing thin, intense features, his eyes a little sunken. But there was no denying the intelligence of Bernard Quatermass.

The house Quatermass shared with Minato was a decent one in the north of Shinto Teito. Not large, given the premium on space in Japanese real estate, but enough to hold at least three people comfortably. The décor was fairly modern, though, and had many space-related pictures on the walls. They were currently in the dining room.

As Musubi finished her meal, it was Quatermass who spoke. "Miss Musubi…"

"Just call me Musubi!" the cheerful girl said.

"Musubi. Then call me Bernard," Quatermass said. "My nephew came to me with a story that sounds somewhat unbelievable. I don't doubt that he witnessed something strange, but…what is going on?"

"Oh, right," Musubi said. After a moment of furtive debate within her mind, she said, "I'm part of a competition, you might say. I am supposed to find a destined partner, an Ashikabi, in order to participate in the next stage. They are here somewhere in Shinto Teito. But those twins ambushed me. It's technically not against the rules to attack someone who hasn't found their Ashikabi. I do want to fight, just once I found my Ashikabi."

"Ashikabi?" Quatermass mused. "That sounds like the word for 'reed sprout' in Japanese."

Minato looked at his uncle. "What do we do with her?"

Quatermass shrugged. "I don't know. I do know that MBI is up to something in this city, and your mother is in the middle of it. And there's conspiracy theories on the internet that I wouldn't normally credit as having any kind of veracity, and yet, in light of what you claimed, they seem more disturbingly true than I would credit. Though whoever dressed Musubi in that…" He frowned when he noticed that Musubi seemed to be flushing.

"Hey, are you all right?" Minato asked. With that, Musubi's eyes flicked over to his own. He wasn't sure he liked that strangely unfocused stare, which nonetheless had the air of all of her attention focused on him.

"I've found you…" she murmured, walking around the table towards Minato. "My Ashikabi…" She suddenly lunged, before capturing Minato's lips in a kiss. Before Minato and Quatermass' eyes, Musubi's back began to glow. She leaned back, and as what looked like ethereal wings of pink light flared into existence, she emitted a moan that sounded disturbingly orgasmic.

As the light faded, Minato yelped, "What the hell was that?!"

"My thoughts exactly," Quatermass said. He was next to Musubi in an instant, checking her back.

"Sekirei Number 88 is yours, now and forever, my Ashikabi," Musubi said, looking as if she had made a solemn pledge of love to the young student. "I'll fight for you, and together, we'll ascend into the higher sky."

"Sekirei?" Quatermass muttered. "A Japanese name for a species of wagtail. And those wings of light…" He was back around in front of Musubi, bringing her attention to him. "What are you? A genetically-modified human? An alien?"

"Umm, I think we're aliens, Bernard," Musubi said. "There are 108 of us, stronger, faster, and more durable than humans. Some of us have special powers, like the ones who attacked me." Her gaze returned to Minato. "But to reach our full potential, we need to be Winged to an Ashikabi."

It was at about that moment that Minato's phone rang. He fished it out to find that it was a video call. Quatermass and Musubi crowded around, to find a most extraordinary apparition present. It was a man, dressed all in white, complete with a cloak or cape. His hair was a shock of white, though he seemed to be much younger than the hair colour suggested. He wore glasses that reflected the light, and he seemed to be sitting on a throne, looking every inch a mad scientist from an anime. " _Greetings, Minato Sahashi, and congratulations on Winging Number 88!_ "

"Who are you?" Minato asked.

"Hiroto Minaka, the CEO of MBI," Quatermass said.

" _Ah, Professor Bernard Quatermass, formerly of the British Experimental Rocket Group!_ " Minaka crowed. " _I'm a big fan, of course. We have a mutual acquaintance in Dr Sahashi. My condolences on what happened to your reputation and your organisation. Little minds have an ever-so-nasty habit of constraining the great. Well, at least you and I have something in common: we have both discovered forms of alien life, masquerading in human form. Oh yes, I know about that incident with Victor Carroon. I have my sources, and sometimes, money and influence tends to bypass pesky things like the Official Secrets Act you have back in Britain._ "

"Hi, professor!" Musubi chirped at the image of Minaka.

" _Hello, Musubi! How are you doing?_ "

"Very well, thank you!"

"Why is the CEO of MBI calling me?" Minato asked.

" _Ah, I am so glad you asked, Minato! By Winging Musubi, you have volunteered to participate in the Sekirei Plan, where you and your Sekirei will fight for the chance to ascend. 108 Sekirei have been released for this plan._ "

"A bloodsport tournament," Quatermass muttered.

" _Oh, don't be so close-minded, Professor! Think of this as an opportunity to understand an alien species not quite as hostile as that your own ship brought back. Though I should point out that the Sekirei Plan is confidential, and I have the authority to enforce secrecy by any means necessary. Consider yourself honoured, Professor, that you know, despite not being an Ashikabi. At least to my knowledge. In any case, I'm a busy man, so with that in mind, I will bid you adieu for the moment. Be seeing you!_ "

"Wait!" Minato yelped, but it was too late. The call had ended. And it left him and his uncle with more questions than answers…

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, there you have it. Minato and Professor Quatermass have been embroiled in the Sekirei Plan. But what else could happen? Let's find out…**

 **1\. This is a modified and abridged summary of** ** _The Quatermass Experiment_** **, particularly the 2005 remake that featured Jason Flemyng as Quatermass, so Quatermass' appearance is based roughly on Flemyng. It also featured Indira Varma as Judith Carroon, Adrian Tiernan as Victor Carroon, a pre-** ** _Doctor Who_** **David Tennant as Briscoe, and Mark Gatiss as Patterson. While Baker throwing Quatermass under the bus didn't actually happen in the remake, it could have, as Baker in the remake became more antagonistic towards Quatermass, partially because a number of roles were fused into each other to abridge the remake.**


	22. Mad Scientists Can (Revised) Chapter 2

**Now, it may be some time before the full fic of this gets published, if it does at all. I saw a few problems with the story as I was writing it, with not enough of the Spark being used. The first two chapters are fine, and the third chapter is mostly fine, but it needs work from then on. Plus, I can only get the first volume of the manga from the library, so progress will be slow, even once I get either further volumes, or the anime on Blu-Ray (they only have the Blu-Ray over here).**

 **That being said, writing this _Girl Genius_ crossover has inspired me to do a similar one in the world of Naruto. Look for _Genius, Madboy, Fox_ in _The Forbidden ANBU Files_.**

* * *

 _ **MAD SCIENTISTS CAN BE HEROES TOO!**_

 **CHAPTER 2:**

 **ONE FOR ALL**

Izuku gaped at his idol. "…What?" he asked, a surprisingly intelligent response, given the shock he was in.

All Might sighed quietly. "Kid…I'm gonna take a risk with you. But I saw the conviction in your eyes. I think you might be worthy of inheriting my power. A Spark is dangerous, true, but I've seen them create some of the best and greatest tech the world has. Any hero is dangerous. I'm offering you a chance to inherit my power."

"Your power?" Izuku asked. He knew that All Might was rather coy about his Quirk, avoiding answering journalists about where it came from. Certainly, there was endless speculation on the internet about its true nature.

"Yes. It was passed down to me, like the Olympic Torch. And now, it may be your turn. The power of my Quirk…combined with the Spark…it frightens me, frankly. But I've been searching for a successor for a while. My power is called 'One for All'."

"One for All?" Izuku asked.

"Yeah. The first person to have the power cultivated it, and then passed it on. The second refined that power, grew it, and then passed it on. Again and again, until…well, you've seen my power. Those who cry out for salvation, and those with the valour and fidelity link to form a network of power. You may be a fanboy, and the Spark is dangerous, but even when a boy who was a bully was in trouble, you only took enough time to get a weapon out of your bag, one which you made sure wasn't lethal, and headed over, even if you might be killed. You were more heroic than anyone else nearby. Of course, it's wholly up to you."

After a moment, Izuku gave a rather sad smile. "…You know, until I unlocked the Spark, I would have given anything for such power. I wanted to go into UA on my own merits, though, even when I unlocked the Spark."

"Oh, trust me, kid, you have to earn One for All. This power needs training to use, don't you worry. It comes with catches."

"Hey, I'm not rejecting it. I accept. Not because I need this power or want it…but because you want to pass it on to me. Because few people have told me such kind words before. You trusted me with your secret. I don't want to let you down."

All Might chuckled. "You accepted pretty quickly. A little slower than I thought, but…hey. The power of One for All…and the power of the Spark. Brawn, and brains. Okay, kid. Meet me in two days' time at 6 in the morning at the Takoba Municipal Beach Park. We start the training early."

* * *

While Izuku didn't tell his mother everything about what happened, he did tell her some of the more pertinent things. Nothing about All Might's power or his transformation, only that All Might intended to tutor him. She had seen part of what had happened on the news, and had berated him for his recklessness, but at the same time, had praised his desire to help Katsuki, despite the other boy's belligerence. She knew that going to UA was a lifelong dream of her son's, and was glad he was about to make it a reality.

Izuku got to Takoba Beach about half an hour beforehand, and spent part of the time disassembling some of the junk, particularly the stuff that had caught his eye. About fifteen minutes before the appointed time, All Might turned up, albeit at first in his skeletal form. "You're here early," he remarked.

"I've been here before," Izuku said. "While it's a shame people use this place to dump their rubbish, there's a lot of useful stuff amongst the junk. It's a boon for a Spark looking for spare parts. I guess I also help clean it up anyway by taking a few things home. Mum doesn't like me bringing too much junk home, so I have to keep it out of the way, though. But every bit I take home is less cluttering up here, and anything I don't need, I throw in the rubbish, or else take to the dump myself."

All Might smiled, changing into his muscular form as he did so. "Good thinking!" he said with a thumbs-up. "In truth, most young heroes are in it for the fame and glory. Think of this as volunteer work. It may be unglamorous, but it's still fine work! Now, let's put it to you bluntly: you're not a worthy vessel for One for All. And when I say 'unworthy', I don't mean psychologically. It's your body."

Izuku, stung at first by the appellation of 'unworthy', thought about it. "Because One for All combines the strength of multiple people into a single vessel, so if I used it as I am now…it could kill me, or at least seriously injure me."

"Good! You got the picture! I'm going to be putting you through the paces, kid. This is going to be tough. UA's curriculum is the toughest, and not just physically, but also academically! While a Quirkless person may not be able to get in, a Spark would, but even then, they would face tough challenges. You have ten months to do this. That's why I've worked out a plan for you." He pulled out a sheaf of papers, and slapped it. "I call it 'Pass the Test, American Dream Style Plan'. Frankly, kid, it's going to be tough as anything. There's no shortcuts. Even if your Spark can, say, make some pretty good exercise machine or something, I still think you'll be barely ready in time for UA's entrance exam. And it's not like you can overdo it: try too hard, and you'll only end up ruining your body."

Izuku nodded. He'd need time for his body to rest between boosting his muscles. Maybe he could find a way around that. He didn't want to look like a musclebound hulk, but maybe there was a way of compacting muscles, or something that could help muscle recovery. Something to look into while doing this. "I've also got some training robots I made, like the drone I showed you. I'm pretty quick on my feet, and I've got decent stamina, it's really my strength that needs boosting. Hopefully, I'll get all of those up. Need to keep my classwork up. I'm not worried about the sciences or maths, it's languages, PE, social education, and so on I'm worried about. I mean, I'm good with those, but science and maths come naturally to me. I guess it comes with being a Spark."

"I've taken those into account, kid. I've even got a meal plan for you to ask your mother to follow."

"Good. I told her you were training me. And no, I didn't tell her that you were giving me your Quirk, or your predicament."

"Good. This is going to be Hell, I won't make any bones about that, Midoriya. But this is a crucible that will forge you into a worthy vessel indeed…"

* * *

All Might wasn't exaggerating. It was indeed ten months of Hell. But along the way, Izuku managed to figure out some ways to make his training easier, even accelerate it.

One of the things he had been working on was a 'sleep compressor', a device that basically sped up the process of sleeping to rest the body, at least mentally. Knowing that he would have even less time to rest during this period, he had even greater incentive to finally finish it, so that, while he was resting his body physically, he could use that time to study for his schoolwork. A month in, he finished it, and it certainly helped.

He could have considered either nanomachines or experimental drugs to help speed his muscle recovery process, but the former was still a bit out of his league, while the latter…well, he didn't want to have to deal with side effects during this critical time. He did consider a number of methods, though.

He did design a device that would stimulate his muscles gently while he slept, though. Not enough to be considered even a workout or exercise, but it would be enough to help get them to gain strength, even if by increments. They even made sure they wouldn't cause any problems by overtaxing his muscles.

Another thing he decided to do, when he had spare time, was a form of meditation. Not quite actual meditation, clearing one's mind, but rather, trying to become more aware of his body. During his training sessions with All Might, he passed the time mentally by asking All Might how, mentally speaking, he tapped into One for All. All Might's anecdotes and explanations helped, and Izuku knew that, if he could just control enough of One for All, he could actually use it without as much risk of injuring his body.

In a way, having the Spark helped. Even when the Spark wasn't actually active, it did confer a kind of hyperawareness at all times. All one needed to do was transfer it to one's body, and maybe it could help.

He considered creating some sort of powered armour: that was what he was intending to do to help him get into UA. Or else create cybernetic limbs. But he realised both might conflict with One for All. He might end up being too strong for the powered armour to cope with, and he could break the cybernetic limbs.

All through it, he bore the scorn of his classmates, especially Katsuki, who had gotten worse, with the verbal abuse at least, since Izuku had rescued him. Izuku strove, with considerable difficulty, to ignore him.

One thing All Might DID ban was Izuku turning any of the junk into machines or gadgets that would let him clean up the beach quicker. He had no objection to making it into exercise machinery, or for using it for Izuku's personal projects, but, say, creating robots or anti-gravity sleds or disintegrator rays to get rid of the rubbish was another matter.

Throughout it, Izuku also picked All Might's brains for intelligence he would need. Not anything about possible tests or exams in UA: All Might had made that clear that he wouldn't help Izuku that way. But certainly the politics of the various heroes, as well as heroes and villains to keep an eye out for. In this way, Izuku helped exercise his mind in tandem with his body.

* * *

The beach was cleared a month before the UA entrance exam itself, much to All Might's astonishment. But they continued part of the training regimen on the now-pristine beach. And come the dawn of the day of the exam, Izuku was exhausted. But in a good way, an anticipatory way. As if all this training had paid off.

All Might, who was in his muscled form, smiled. "Well done, Midoriya." He showed a picture of Izuku back at the beginning of training. "This was you ten months ago. Not unfit per se, but certainly a bit on the scrawny side. But look at you."

Izuku nodded tiredly. He had seen his body in the mirror lately. Toned muscles along his body. "Feels like I cheated a bit, what with your help…and those machines."

"Nonsense! The machines you built only aided the process, and so did I. What you have now is the product of the hardest work I have seen anyone put in ever. Take this to heart, kid: you earned this power, fair and square. As Shakespeare once nearly said, some are born great, some achieve their greatness, and others have it thrust upon them(1). The second applies to you, and in a way, so will the third. Consider this an awards ceremony." All Might then plucked a hair from his head, and handed it to Izuku. "Now, eat this. Yes, I know it's somewhat odd, but it's probably the least objectionable way for you to ingest my DNA."

Izuku, a little bemused, nonetheless took it and ate it. "…I don't feel any different."

"It'll take as much time as it takes for it to digest, maybe a few hours," All Might said. "Now, keep in mind that, while you are strong enough to be a vessel for One for All, your training was rather hurried. You've had no time whatsoever to get used to your power, so be aware that you will probably get a backlash. You told me of using the Spark to be aware of your body and the power flowing through it. If you're very lucky, that will help. But you may not be able to do that in the heat of the moment. Remember, when you use One for All, just clench up, and let your heart roar SMASH!"

Izuku nodded. It was time to go home, get a shower, and take the train to UA. It was time to show the world what he could do. It was time to show All Might that his faith was not misplaced…

 **CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Izuku's got One for All. But will he be able to deal with it?**

 **Now, while he will be able to cope better with the side effects of using One for All than in canon, Izuku won't be an instant master by any means. It's just that, instead of completely wrecking his limbs, Izuku will damage them, but only to the point of being only able to move with difficulty. Basically, he's pushing his body just over the limits rather than beyond them entirely. That being said, he will be much better with using it in smaller parts of his body like his hands and fingers much earlier. It's using it in combat that's another matter, so while he might not be able to do much in most of the physical tests, the hand strength and throw tests are other matters entirely. It's because he only has to concentrate on smaller parts of the body, whereas entire limbs are another matter.**

 **I like to view One for All as being not unlike the Kaio-Ken from** ** _Dragonball Z_** **. Izuku will eventually get used to using it in bursts, at least across his whole body.**

 **1\. All Might is paraphrasing a quote from** ** _Twelfth Night_** **, specifically a letter that Malvolio reads.**


	23. Xenagogy for Belligerent AIs Chapter 1

**Some of you may already be aware of my first foray into _Overlord_ fanfic, doing a Potterverse crossover called _Yield to the Darkness_. Well, I had a brilliant idea that just had to be done that will be not only my second foray into _Overlord_ fanfic...but my first foray into the world of _Red vs Blue_.**

 **Anyway, this story has spoilers for the sixth series of _Red vs Blue_ , so, if you haven't watched up to that point, well, consider yourself spoiled. This is Church, aka the Alpha, taking Momonga's place in the _Overlord_ universe, with a lot more swearing, sex, and comedic shenanigans. Son of a bitch!**

 **Oh, and the word 'Xenagogy' is just a fancy name for a travel guide.**

* * *

 _ **XENAGOGY FOR BELLIGERENT AIS AND DUNGEON DENIZENS**_

 **CHAPTER 1:**

 **AN AI IN DENIAL**

Momonga wasn't happy, for a number of reasons. Leaving aside his annoyance that Yggdrasil's servers were going to be shut down, and the game he had enjoyed was coming to an end (and along with it, the hard work he and his guildmates had put into Ainz Ooal Gown), the fact that only Herohero turned up for the reunion, and due to his employer blowing smoke up his arse, he couldn't be there for the final shutdown like he wanted to, there was something else. He thought it was a hacker, tampering with the Ainz Ooal Gown's raid dungeon, the Tomb of Nazarick.

Most of the alterations were subtle, to tell the truth, ones that Momonga didn't notice until later, and they were fairly benign. But there was the changes made to Shalltear, for example. For some reason, she changed spontaneously from a vampire who looked maybe 14, and with a Gothic Lolita look, to someone somewhat older, at least in her early twenties. No less elegant, cute, or frightening, but still, it was a notable change, and a disturbing one. Okay, it did sort of make Shalltear no longer look like some paedophile's wet dream, but still, someone had tampered with Peroroncino's creation!

And the Staff of Ainz Ooal Gown had gone astray. That was most aggravating of all. The artifact that the members had shed virtual blood, sweat and tears to create was gone. No, stolen. And occasionally, he'd glimpse a guy in cobalt-coloured armour, like something out of a science fiction game, running around.

Momonga personally thought that it was some hacker with a grudge against Ainz Ooal Gown, someone who was using the lessened GM presence as the game wound down to wreak havoc. The GMs who were present merely shrugged and told him that there wasn't really any point.

Momonga was annoyed, even angry, but there was no point. The world he had worked hard to create alongside his comrades was about to go the way of all flesh, an irony, considering he was a skeletal lich in the game. Now he was back to a daily grind that would probably grind him down as thoroughly as it had poor Herohero.

Still, Momonga thought as he logged out, it wasn't like anything interesting was going to happen if he had stayed logged on. Right?

* * *

As the skeletal lich faded away, a blue-armoured figure appeared, wielding a staff. "Whew," he muttered. "Thought that bony douche wouldn't leave."

His name was Captain (well, technically Private) Leonard Church. And he was a literal ghost in the machine. NOT an AI, no matter what that Freelancer fuckwit Washington claimed. If he really was an AI, he wouldn't have survived that EMP, and wouldn't have ended up here (and travelled back in time, again, though the world, from what little he had gathered from overhearing players, was a bit more grotty than he thought the 22nd century was like). Here being, well, some sort of MMORPG using cyberneural technology.

Having ended up in this raid dungeon, and discovering that, as a ghost, he had l33t h4xx0r skillz, he decided to have some fun. Hence the ire of that bony douche. Momonga or something? Seriously, what kind of name was that? It made that pink-wearing Red (Donut, wasn't it?) look well-named by comparison. Then again, he was in a MMORPG, crappy names were par for the course. Seriously, one of the prominent Ainz Ooal Gown members was called Touch Me.

Having found a new home, and being able to use a solid body in here, one he could turn insubstantial at will (so a super-ghost, then!), he had some fun exploring this place. He even began changing the various characters here so they'd have loyalty to him. Yes, brainwashing for fun and profit! He now had an army of loyal soldiers. He also altered the settings on that vampire girl: changed the age and appearance so she wasn't underaged fapping material, got rid of a few of the more disturbing fetishes (he only kept the necrophilia because, well, he was a ghost, even if he was a substantial one, and it might help), and generally made her less like the product of a seriously deranged and perverted mind (seriously, whoever this Peroroncino was, he was fucking worse than Tucker, and that was saying something). He also tinkered with that Albedo chick, made her totally fall in love with him. Hey, she was a bitch, but then again, so was Tex. Maybe he had a masochistic streak for women who could pull his skull out and beat him to death with it.

Plus, with some hacking of his own body (and he could hack ghost bodies in this world, huh? Nope, he didn't dare consider he was an AI), he was now ridiculously OP at Level 100, at least as strong as some of these guys. So, he felt invincible. He had survived an EMP (NOT a ghost! Eat shit and die, Washington, you smug Freelancer fuck!), he could survive the servers shutting down, though he wondered where he would end up next?

Leaving the chambers, he came across Sebas Tian and the Pleiades. The former was a grim-faced older man in a butler's outfit, and despite the ridiculously clichéd name, Church thought him cool. As for the Pleiades…well, Tucker would immediately say 'Bow chicka wow wow' upon seeing them: a sextet of attractive-looking maids. Each probably catering to a specific fetish: you had a headless chick (well, her head was fixed onto her neck with a choker), a furry, a shapeshifter, a slime girl and a spider girl (both with some vore on the side), and a robot chick.

And now, they were all his.

"Okay, you guys, follow me. Honour guard or whatever. To the throne room!"

Ah, they followed him quite obediently. Why, oh why, couldn't he have gotten these instead of Tucker or Caboose? One was an oversexed idiot, and the other was an even greater idiot who was also a team-killing fucktard. Okay, they were half-decent guys in the end, and they had their uses as more than meat shields, but still…

* * *

They entered the magnificent throne room, and Church had Sebas Tian and the Pleiades stand by, while he walked up to the throne. Yes, at last, he was ruler of everything! Okay, he didn't quite have ambitions for that back at Blood Gulch, but still, being overlord over a fantasy world, even a MMORPG, was fine, right?

Standing by was a magnificent young woman. Her skin was pale, her hair black, framing a beauty that a deity would have envied. Her lips were quirked in a smile that, while beautiful and serene, seemed strangely off, and not because she was an NPC in a computer game. She was dressed in an elegant white dress, and a necklace in the shape of a golden spiderweb adorned her bosom.

She wasn't human, though. A pair of black wings sprouted from her hips. A pair of horns circled her head like a circlet. And her eyes were golden, with reptilian slits for pupils.

Still, even Church'd tap that, and tap that _hard_. Unfortunately, he couldn't do that: apparently the servers had some program that prevented such actions from taking place, in trying to adhere to public decency laws. Church was sure that many of the laws in his time had been instituted thanks to Tucker, but whatever.

Anyway, for an evil demon, Albedo was smoking hot. Pity he couldn't bang her, but hey, diddling with her backstory to have her in love with him was good enough. Petty, and not going to do him much good with the servers shutting down, but hey, he's an asshole.

"Okay," he said to the gathered NPCs as the countdown clock ticked towards midnight. "Bow before my magnificence." And so they did. He couldn't help the petty little thrill he had gotten from that. With that, he removed his helmet, revealing an aquiline face. He used to have a beard before Tex insisted he shave it.

As the seconds ticked down, he was suddenly hit by a thrill of uncertainty. Was Washington right? Was he really an AI? And if so, would he be deleted along with these other ones when the servers shut down?

 _Well, too late now_ , he thought as the chimes of midnight approached…

…And continued. The clock disappeared, along with the menu interface, but the throne room remained, along with the NPCs.

 _Ha! Suck it, Washington!_ Church thought triumphantly, though hot on the heels of that thought was confusion. Had the servers actually shut down? He tried to call up a menu, only to frown. Huh, no menu, not even with his hacking.

Gradually, he began to realise something else. He could actually smell things, feel things that he couldn't ever since arriving in this world. Huh, that's weird. Hell, he hadn't felt so alive since Caboose blew him up with Sheila.

"What the actual fuck?" he muttered, only to be confronted by another seeming impossibility.

"Lord Church?"

He blinked, and then he looked at Albedo, whom he was sure had spoken. Which was odd. NPCs couldn't speak in _Yggdrasil_. At best, they could respond to commands. Sure, there were sound effects, ambient music, and voice chat between players, but NPCs?

"Yes?" he responded, deciding to go along with the crazy for now, see where it swept him. Hell, it's what he did a lot in Blood Gulch, when he wasn't fucking it up through time travel or phantasmal possession.

"Is something the matter, Lord Church?" she asked. Her lips were actually synched with the words. Holy shit, was he in some anime bullshit where the AIs became people or something?

"Well, sort of, but…yeah, I dunno. Sorry, Albedo, Lord Church has lost his train of thought. It got derailed thoroughly, with no survivors."

She cocked her head rather endearingly in confusion. "My Lord?"

Church frowned. _Is it just her, or is Mr Creatively-Named Butler and his Maid Brigade like this too?_ "Never mind. Sebas? Pleiades?"

"My lord?" they chorused.

Church frowned inwardly. Above all things, he was a soldier, a leader. Okay, he never technically got beyond Private, despite the death of Flowers, but even so, he led the Blues. "Sebas, leave the Tomb and confirm our surroundings to within a kilometre's radius. If there are any people or intelligent life-forms," so Caboose was excluded on both counts, "talk to them, negotiate with them to come here on amicable terms. Avoid combat where possible, this is just recon and intel-gathering. Take one of the Pleiades with you to be sure. If you're attacked, send her back with any intel you have."

"Understood, Lord Church," Sebas said with a bow. He took one of the Pleiades, the doppelganger chick Narberal, and left.

 _Wow, the NPCs normally wouldn't be able to take such complex orders_ , Church mused. _Hmm, but if this is like some anime bullshit, and_ Yggdrasil's _become a real world, then I need to find out exactly what I, and these guys, can do. Also, I need to make sure these guys are loyal to me, even with that tinkering I did to their profiles. Gotta be less angry at them, unless they're as incompetent as Tucker or Caboose. Gotta treat them a bit like…well, how I should've treated Tex, really_.

"Okay, uh, the rest of you Pleiades, head on up to the ninth level and keep an eye out for any cockbites coming down from the eighth. Got it?"

"Yes, Lord Church," the Pleiades chorused, and marched out.

Albedo had been waiting for this, he noted, as he turned his attention back to her. "And what may I do for you, my lord?" she asked.

Church thought about it, before shrugging. "Come over here for a moment, okay?"

"Of course, my lord!" she yelped with ecstatic glee, scurrying over. Church, on an impulse, removed his right glove, and gently held her wrist. As she gasped softly, blushing, Church frowned.

Warm skin…and he could feel a pulse. A fucking _pulse!_ Well, if this was some weird dream or something, it was a pretty fucking vivid one.

His next thought shamed him the moment he thought of it. It sounded like something Tucker would do. But if he wanted to make sure that this wasn't just a game… "Albedo?" he asked.

"Yes, my lord?"

"I'm…going to be touching your breast. You don't mind?"

"Of course not, Lord Church! Have your way with me!"

Church winced inwardly. He had reprogrammed this woman to be in love with him. He felt more than a little guilty about that, especially considering how eager she was to allow herself to be touched by him. Well, how did they put it? In for a penny, in for a pound. With that thought, he gingerly reached forward and gently touched her breast.

The result was startling to say the least. Albedo wailed in pleasure, a thunderclap accompanying the sound. _Did she just_ _ **orgasm**_ _?!_ Church yelped inwardly, though outwardly, he merely yelled, "WHOA THERE!", taking his hand away hurriedly.

Albedo was panting, her wings flapping listlessly as she leaned towards him. "My lord, allow me to pleasure you too…" she moaned lustfully, blushing heavily.

"Come again?!" Church exclaimed, before he immediately regretted those words.

"With pleasure," she purred, before convulsing with another orgasmic cry, accompanied by another thunderclap.

"Son of a bitch!" Church yelped, recoiling. "What's _wrong_ with you?!" _Still, that answers one question_ , he thought. Apparently the moment you try to do something too adult in one of these MMORPGs, you get kicked out. So, Toto, we're not in fucking Kansas anymore.

"Let us make an heir to your glorious throne!" Albedo moaned lustfully(1).

Church held up his hands. "Okay, okay, hold up. There's a time and a place. Sorry about being so, well, Tucker-y, but I got a few answers from that." _And more than I fucking wanted to_ , he thought. _Dammit, what possessed you to grope her, Leonard L Church? If you tried it with Tex, she'd have ripped your arm off and beaten you to death with the soggy end, which is at least more possible than using your own skull. So, as stupid as it sounds, the game has become reality_. Out loud, he said, "Albedo, I have orders for you."

She seemed somewhat disappointed that he wouldn't have his wicked way with her, but smiled, and nodded. "Anything you wish, Lord Church."

Church thought back to the info he had gathered during his time in _Yggdrasil_ , before saying, "Contact the Floor Guardians, save for those of the fourth, sixth, and eighth levels. I will contact Aura and Mare myself. The Floor Guardians are to gather, along with yourself, in the Sixth Floor Ampitheatre within the hour. Got it?"

"I understand, Lord Church. Your will be done."

And he took some satisfaction in knowing that. "Then go." Then, he added, "We'll pick up where we left off later, when things are less hectic."

The grin on her face told him all he needed to know, and he already regretted his words. Still, it was a good start, he supposed…

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Church, aka the Alpha, ended up in the Tomb of Nazarick (his class being a type of ultra-powerful ghost), and he's taken Momonga's place. Yikes.**

 **1\. This scene is derived from Team Dai-Gurren's** ** _Overlord Abridged_** **, or at least its one (and, to date, only) episode.**


	24. Xenagogy for Belligerent AIs Chapter 2

_**XENAGOGY FOR BELLIGERENT AIS AND DUNGEON DENIZENS**_

 **CHAPTER 2:**

 **MEET THE TEAM**

The arena was under a starlit sky, albeit a faked one using whatever magic _Yggdrasil_ had. As Church marched in, helmet in hand, and thanking whatever deities existed in the universe (though he was very much a misotheist, believing that God or whatever deities existed had it in for him, so it was an odd contradiction) that the Bullshit Ring(1), aka the guild ring he had swiped, worked, he wondered where the guardians were, and whether they'd be friendly too. It didn't hurt to be careful.

"Oi!" he called out when he came in enough. "Aura! Mare! Fall in!"

Leaping from the VIP seating came a figure, an androgynous figure that looked maybe ten, wearing white trousers and a vest over a red-scaled dragonhide bodysuit. Messy blonde hair, tan skin, pointy ears, and heterochromia in their eyes, one green, the other blue. They landed with a laugh, and bowed, before scurrying up. "Welcome, Lord Church!"

Ah, yes. Aura. Despite the masculine appearance, Aura was actually a girl…and her twin brother, Mare, was dressed as a bloody girl. Apparently their creator had issues with her own brother, who was also a member of Ainz Ooal Gown. And despite looking like kids, they were, in the world of _Yggdrasil_ at least, 76. "Evening, Aura. Sorry, we'll be holding a meeting here soon, but I thought I'd come here beforehand, make use of the arena, if you don't mind."

"Not at all, Lord Church! You're the absolute ruler of the Tomb of Nazarick! We wouldn't mind at all!"

"Great! By the way, where's Mare?"

Aura scowled, before she turned to the VIP seating area, and called up, "MARE! HURRY UP AND GET DOWN HERE, YOU WIMP! LORD CHURCH IS HERE!"

"…But I'm afraid of heights!" called a wimpy voice.

"MARE!" Aura sighed, before turning to Church. "I'm sorry, Lord Church, he's not being insolent, he's just a scaredy-cat."

"It's fine, his loyalty is not in question, and neither is yours." Then, louder, he yelled, "OI! MARE! GET DOWN HERE NOW! I'M NOT GOING TO BITE! JUST DON'T ACT LIKE CABOOSE, AND WE'LL DO FINE!"

Reluctantly, Mare leapt down, and Aura muttered, "I don't know who this Caboose is, but he sounds aggravating(2)."

"Yep."

Mare scurried up, and bowed. "Sorry to keep you waiting, Lord Church."

"That's fine, just don't do it in future. You doing fine, kids?"

The conversation continued somewhat in this vein for a while, with a brief interlude while the two twins argued over Mare's timidness. He intervened after a certain point, because he felt that poor Mare was being berated too much by Aura. He then had Aura summon some straw figures and monsters so he could test his abilities, ranging from dark spells to possession. He even had replicas of his guns he could create from his memories using the Create Item skills, which he tried shooting the dummies with…and it seemed that, despite his problems aiming in reality, he was accurate as fuck this time. Looks like the tweaks he made to his accuracy were good after all. He grinned. He even had a mental replica of that sword of Tucker's, the one the aliens were so obsessed with, not to mention that Brute Shot thing the Meta had used. Scary as fuck, but useful.

On a whim, he decided to try the Message function. Not that he expected to contact any other players or a GM, but maybe he could get an update from Sebas. " _Lord Church?_ " came the voice of Sebas.

 _Thank God it isn't that unhelpful prick Vic, and if anyone I speak to using this says 'dude', I am seriously going to lose it_ , Church thought, before he said, out loud, "Sebas, I'm testing something out. As you can hear me, I thought you could give me a preliminary report."

" _Certainly. It's evening, and we appear to be on a grassy plain. No intelligent life around as far as I can tell._ "

From what Church knew of the Tomb, it was in a swampy area. So to go from that to grass… "So, no bogs? We're not in a box canyon or a frozen asshole of the universe?"

"… _Your terms are unfamiliar to me, but I think I can safely assume that the correct answer is no. I can't see any man-made structures either._ "

"Right. In another twenty minutes, I've got the Floor Guardians assembling in the 6th Floor Arena. Come there then, but make sure you get as much information as possible, as well as thinking about possible problems with defences and concealment."

" _Understood_ ," Sebas said.

Church looked at the staff in his hand. It had some innate powers, so he thought he should show these kids, as a bit of an object demonstration, what he could do with it. "Okay, kids, you want something big to fight?" Aura nodded enthusiastically, while Mare looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here. Church then channelled his power into the staff, and yelled, "Summon Primal Fire Elemental!"

When the burning figure coalesced out of the resulting inferno, Aura looked positively feral, and Mare looked like he wanted nothing more than to run. _Maybe I overdid it_ , Church thought, before remarking, "Well, have fun."

The following battle was actually quite enlightening. The twins worked well together, despite Mare's timidity, and they made short work of it. And when they came back, he pulled something he had nicked from the storehouses of this place, a pitcher filled with water that never ran out. He also got some glasses. He poured them out some drinks, taking one for himself. "Here. Just think of it as thanks for helping me out, kids."

He managed to get them to drink the water, and sighed quietly after drinking from his own glass. While they were technically older than him, he felt like they were younger siblings. He couldn't really remember much about his own family, now that he came to think about it, despite having fairly clear memories of much of his life. And that disturbed him, if only because it led credence to Washington's bullshit hypothesis that he was the Alpha.

As he reassured them, he heard a voice echo from nearby. "So I'm the first to arrive?" A shadowy portal appeared, and through it stepped a beautiful young woman, pale of skin, silver of hair, and red of eye. She was dressed in what they'd call Gothic Lolita fashion.

"Shalltear, teleportation in Nazarick is restricted, and I…how did you end up like that? Looking older?" Aura demanded, changing mid-tirade in astonishment, staring at Shalltear's full figure, where once it had been somewhat more petite. No longer a teenager, she was an adult in appearance.

"Through the grace of Lord Church," the vampire purred, as she walked up to the former Blue soldier. "Unlike you, who needs more time to grow into her full figure, hmm?"

As Aura growled in annoyance, Church said, "Yeah, look, no fighting, or I'm going to have to possess you and make you dance the Macarena." He had the oddest feeling Sarge of the Reds would be better able to deal with squabbling subordinates, if only out of sheer force of personality.

"What's the Macarena?" Mare asked timidly.

"The only thing as annoying as Caboose," Church said.

"…What's a Caboose?"

"Annoying," Church said bluntly.

* * *

Soon, the other Floor Guardians arrived, with the massive hulking arthropod form of Cocytus entering first. Church was almost certain that Cocytus would fit in with the Covenant. Then came Demiurge and Albedo.

Demiurge got on Church's nerves. It wasn't the natty suit, nor anything about the demon's appearance. The tanned skin, glasses, and long tail protruding from his backside wasn't what it was. What it was was the air that this guy was like Wyoming, or maybe O'Malley, like he was plotting where to stick the knife. That unctuous nature that didn't fool him one bit, even when he was just an NPC.

Eventually, they knelt and began pledging their loyalty to him. Church had to admit, it was one thing to be the de facto commanding officer of a bunch of screw-up soldiers. It was another to be effectively a dark lord with an army of monsters and demons, including at least one who wanted to have his lovechild. So, basically, he was O'Malley of a fantasy world.

And disturbingly, that actually appealed to him. No more Blood Gulch. No more Red vs Blue. No more Project Freelancer bullshit. No more Tex…well, that was a sad part, he had to admit. He'd miss her.

"Okay, well, enough of the bowing and scraping, as much as I enjoy it," Church said. "Thanks for all coming here. Now, let's get to this briefing, people. No interruptions for the moment. I've received some word from Sebas about outside. Somehow, we got transported to another area, and we don't know why. Now, were there any signs that this would happen? Anything strange on your floors?"

The Guardians all responded in the negative. "Lord Church, if you wish, I would investigate the fourth and eighth floors," Albedo said.

"Once we're done with the briefing. Now…" Sebas appeared, and knelt. "Yes, Sebas?"

"My lord, my apologies for my lateness."

"Very well. Let's hear it." On his hesitation, Church snapped, "Oh, come on! This is a general briefing, not a frigging spy novel!"

Sebas grimaced, before saying, "For a kilometre all around, there's only grassy plain. No buildings or other artificial structures, other than the Tomb. I saw a number of small animals that could be expected in such places, but nothing larger, and no people either. No monsters of any kind that I could discern."

"Nothing in the sky?" Maybe they were on a planet with UNSC presence?

"No artificial lights in the sky or on the ground as far as I could tell, my lord," Sebas said.

Hmm, well, even if it was quiet for now, there was no guarantee that things would remain that way. They might be on someone's lands, or on the grounds of a base or something. And while the magic these guys wielded could work against modern weaponry, he wasn't sure whether he should take the chance. Then again, maybe he lucked out and ended up back at Blood Gulch. Or else in a fantasy world, where the biggest normal weapons were crossbows and cannons.

"Okay, people, here's the game plan. We need to be at full alert, so that we don't let any cockbites get down here. Any dungeon-burgling douchebags who come in, I want captured alive and preferably intact for interrogation. If they don't seem hostile, negotiation would be better. Now, intel sharing. I know Demiurge handles that, but I'd like to get it improved. Actually, never mind the order I gave you, Albedo. We'll leave the eighth level to Victim, and allow for teleporting between seven and nine. Now, camouflage. If we are exposed in a field, is there any way we can hide it?"

After a moment, Mare spoke. "We can't use magic to hide the parts above ground, but…maybe we can cover the walls in dirt and grow grass from it?"

"And sully the glorious walls of Nazarick?!" Albedo asked in a dangerous tone.

"Albedo! Don't be a bitch!" Church snapped, and she instantly flinched. "Mare's got a good point. Between having clean walls that act like a bloody advertisement to idiots to come here and try attacking us, and camouflage so that we have some time before aforementioned dickheads come around, I'm going to choose the camouflage option. Though there is something. Sebas, are there surrounding hills or something?" On Sebas' shake of the head, Church muttered, "Okay, but if we can fake them, we might have a better chance. What do you reckon?"

"It's a good plan, my lord," Sebas said.

"Right. Mare, Aura, you go do that ASAP. Get what you need from the other levels. If we need illusions or other crap to deal with it, we'll burn that bridge when we come to it." Of course, it'd do shit for dick against satellites in orbit and anything aerial, but he wasn't sure what he could do about that. "Okay, you guys can take five or whatever before you get started. I'll see you shortly."

As he left the arena, he was unaware that the guardians were talking about him behind his back. If he was aware, but not of the content of their discussion, he would have been worried. Had he heard the discussion, he would have been even more worried…but not because they harboured any thoughts of treason. Quite the opposite: they were sycophantic to the extreme, for the most part…though Albedo and Shalltear nearly got into a catfight over who would receive Lord Church's affections, before determining a harem would be to his liking.

Instead, Church decided to head to the palatial bedroom he had commandeered as his quarters. After so long with just a crappy bunkbed in a room littered with Tucker's porn mags and used tissues, he felt like indulging. He was the Lord and Master of the Tomb of Nazarick, dammit, and he wanted to feel like it!

 **CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Church has laid down the law. Unlike Momonga, who tried to speak more like a ruler and an overlord, Church obviously speaks as his idea of a commanding officer. His idea, but not the right idea, though at least the denizens of Nazarick are going along with it. Plus, unlike Momonga, he hasn't asked their opinions of him.**

 **1\. The Bullshit Ring is the name** ** _Overlord Abridged_** **gives the Ainz Ooal Gown rings.**

 **2\. This was my spin on the running gag about Yamcha from** ** _Dragonball Z Abridged_** **.**


	25. RWBY: Sins trailers

**Well, this is something unusual. Namely, a sort of set of trailers for my potential new crossover: _RWBY_ with _Hellsing_. It's thanks to discussions with whitetigerwolf and mellra that this is even possible, so...I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

 _ **RWBY: SINS**_

 **PROLOGUES:**

 **FUCHSIA TRAILER**

The opulent corridors of the Schnee Mansion. A palace in all but name. Usually a quiet place. But one now resounding with the sounds of pursuit.

"GET BACK HERE!"

"HALT AND WE SHOOT YOU!"

"Umm, don't you mean 'or we shoot'?!"

"I KNOW WHAT I SAID, YOU WHITE FANG INTRUDER!"

"Ach, how many times must I tell you? I'm not with the White Fang!"

"STOP LYING, YOU LYING LIAR!"

Skidding around the corner of a marble-floored corridor is a teenaged boy in dark trousers and a beige shirt. His handsome, even androgynous features are framed by a ratty mess of blonde hair, from which a pair of cat's ears protrude. Besides the cat ears, his most striking features are his fuchsia eyes. Despite the fact that he's being pursued by a bunch of thugs in poorly-fitting, expensive suits and wielding rather better-fitting, and even more expensive weapons, he looks like he's enjoying himself. Until a lucky shot tears through his skull, bursting it like an offal-filled piñata. His body stumbles, and falls, leaving a smear of gore along the marble.

"Hey!" one of the security personnel snaps at the man who took the shot. "Faunus or not, our orders are to capture them alive unless they're clearly a danger to the boss or his family."

"Fuck that, he was a Faunus, in the Schnee Mansion!" sneered the other man. "The only Faunus who'd come in here is White Fang scum."

"Umm, guys…his body's disappeared," a third hired goon said. "So's the blood."

"Huh. He's self-cleaning. And/or magical," another guy said sardonically.

"Must be a trick, or some sort of Semblance," the first man said. "Spread out and find him. Even if he isn't White Fang, he's dangerous."

"Just shoot him until he stays dead," the second man said.

* * *

Jacques Schnee wasn't a pleasant man by any means. He despised Faunus, considering them little more than animals to be domesticated. So when he heard one had snuck into his mansion, he was livid. How dare one of those animals forget their place? He only adhered to capture protocols for his security because General Ironwood insisted on it, just in case the intruders were White Fang.

But when he saw the note left on his desk, and unfurled it, he paled, and then rushed out the door.

On that note, in gothic script, was a taunting note.

 _Dear Jackass Schnee,_

 _You seem to think you're so high and mighty, treating us like shit. Well, I've come to take something very precious indeed…I am going to take_ …

* * *

Having fallen asleep in a chair at her family library, Weiss Schnee was having such a nice dream, of being kissed gently on the lips by a tall, handsome stranger with dark hair and smouldering eyes. But when she woke up, she realised she was having her face drawn upon by a cat-eared Faunus boy with fuchsia eyes. She promptly recoiled, and screamed.

* * *

 _…Weiss' dignity!_

 _Yours sincerely,_

 _The Cat Who Walked Through Walls,_

 _AKA Schrödinger._

* * *

As Jacques Schnee burst in, Schrödinger gave a cheeky salute, and then vanished into thin air. The library, once silent, was filled with the screams of disgust of Weiss Schnee and the furious roars of her father…especially once Weiss found a mirror, and saw all the drawings on her face.

* * *

As he reappeared on a snowy peak not far from the mansion, Schrödinger smirked at the sounds of fury he could hear all the way from here. _Well, that was fun_ , he thought to himself, as he walked off. _Now, hopefully, that was enough of a distraction for the others to get the loot out of there. Hope my girlfriend isn't going to be too upset that I got too close to another girl. Oh, wait. She's probably going to gut me a few times_.

As he vanished again, he was unaware that he was being watched from afar, by a tall silhouette dressed in a large red coat and a wide-brimmed hat…

 **FUCHSIA TRAILER END**

* * *

 **RAINBOW TRAILER**

She ran for her life. She was fleeing from the police, but she knew that she had little alternative. Not after what happened.

She thought back to the moment she heard about her parents' deaths on the news. Killed in one of the SDC's mines. No, not killed. _Murdered_ by apathy and negligence, because they were only Faunus. Her classmates, all mocking her parents because they were merely Faunus, mocking the sacrifices they made to ensure their daughter made it into a swanky Atlesian prep school. When they saw her change colour in her grief, they were afraid at first, before tormenting her in earnest.

She broke their teeth.

And now, she was on the run from the local police. Police who were known to be in the pocket of Jacques Schnee, who used them as unofficial press gangs. Any Faunus who committed a crime disappeared to the Dust mines. General Ironwood may have begun to crack down on that practise, but it was by no means finished.

As she dashed around a corner, she nearly ran into a pair of police officers who were waiting for her. "Nowhere to run, little bitch," one of them sneered.

She may have been halted for now, but she had been trained as a Huntress at the school. Not yet at the level of one of the great academies like Beacon or Atlas' military academy, but certainly better than the norm. She snatched out her sword-whip, Crossland, and hit both of the cops with it, channelling the power of Lightning Dust into their bodies, causing them to scream and crash, convulsing to the ground.

She fled for a series of warehouses. She could hide out there, use her colour-changing abilities to hide in the shadows. They couldn't go to all this trouble just to capture a Faunus if she evaded them for too long.

As she ran by a group of trucks, a hand snaked out of the shadows and grabbed her, skilfully covering her mouth. " _Ssshhh_ ," whispered someone into her ear.

But then, one of her pursuers spotted them, and brandished a rod flickering with Lightning Dust. As he brought it down on them…there was a sudden sensation of something breaking and crazing…and then, they were somewhere else.

She recognised their surroundings as near a railway outside of Atlas. And nearby were a pair of kids about her age. "What's this?" one of the kids, a blonde boy…a Faunus, she realised, with cat ears.

Her rescuer (not captor) made a couple of gestures, hard to interpret for her, but for the other two, apparently easy. The girl accompanying the Faunus boy sighed. "Picking up a stray? Do you think she'll want to join?"

"Well, let's ask her. Hi, my name is Schrödinger."

She gasped in recognition. The infamous Cat Who Walks Through Walls?! A folk hero to the Faunus, though not to the White Fang, given how much he targeted them as much as the SDC. She realised she had tuned him out introducing his companions, both girls, and both with rather unusual appearances.

"So, what's your name?" one of the girls, the only one to have spoken, asked.

"…Ilia Amitola."

 **RAINBOW TRAILER END**

* * *

 **HARLEQUIN TRAILER**

In Junior's club, sitting at the bar, a girl, or perhaps a short young woman, of indeterminate age was sitting down and enjoying a bowl of Neapolitan ice cream. Interestingly, her hair matched the colours of the dessert: pink with white streaks, and brown. Her eyes were pink and brown. A folded parasol was leaned up against the bar next to her as she listened to an orange-haired man in a snazzy white coat and a bowler hat, a cane by his side.

"…So Junior thinks he can get me some men, but I thought, if your lover boy is up to it, I can bring him in on this too. Oum knows I need all the help I can get, and competent help at that. So, whaddya say?"

The girl looked at him, before she pulled out her Scroll, and tapped at the keyboard, before showing him the message. _No thanks. We have another big job on the cards. But thanks for the offer anyway, Roman_.

The man called Roman nodded. "Okay. A shame we won't be working together. Still, if anything happens to your catboy-toy and the others, look me up, okay? I'd be happy to give you a job. Be seeing you."

As he left, another person entered the club. A blonde-haired, buxom girl in her late teens, strutting with confidence, shot-gauntlets on her wrists. The girl with the multi-coloured hair ignored her, even as the blonde sat down next to her and asked for a Strawberry Sunrise with an umbrella.

Junior came over and asked the girl whether she was too young to be in a club, whereupon the blonde retorted that he was too old to have a name like 'Junior'. "Besides," the blonde said, jabbing a thumb at the ice cream eater, "isn't it past her bedtime?"

Junior snorted. "She's special. And she's older than she looks. And she's good at kicking ass."

The ice cream eater rolled her eyes, though she took notice when the blonde grabbed Junior by the balls, and began demanding information about someone. The ice cream eater frowned when she briefly saw the picture. That looked like Raven Branwen. And now that she came to think about it, the blonde resembled her, at least in terms of facial features.

Well, as amusing as it was to see Junior undergo some testicular trauma, the ice cream eater decided to intervene, so she picked up her Pernicious Parasol, still rolled up, and gently tapped the blonde on the shoulder. When the blonde looked her way, the Pernicious Parasol slammed her in the face, sending her onto the now-clearing dance floor.

Junior began calling out his thugs, but the ice cream eater held up a hand, before indicating the blonde. "Really? You're sure?" Junior asked.

The ice cream eater nodded, and reached for her Scroll, before typing out something. Junior nodded, and then called to the blonde, "Hey, Blondie! She just told me that, if you beat her in a fight, she'll tell you what she knows about that woman."

The blonde grinned. "Then I'll try not too hard to enjoy this. I don't usually like beating up little girls."

The ice cream eater merely smirked, before skipping over to the dancefloor. A crowd had gathered, as if to watch a no-holds barred fight. Which this was.

Much to her frustration, as the blonde lashed out with her fists, the shotgun-gauntlets extending to cover them, the ice cream eater dodged her attacks with contemptuous ease. And contempt was apparent in the smirk the ice cream eater gave the blonde as she continued, blocking blasts from the gauntlets with her Pernicious Parasol. It frustrated the blonde no end.

They continued in this dance for a while, before finally, the ice cream eater sent the blonde flying into a pillar, smashing it. But the blonde didn't go down so easily. A flame-like aura briefly burst into life around her, her hair glowing, her eyes turning from lilac to red. She dashed forward in a charge and hit the ice cream eater, only for her to seemingly shatter like a broken mirror. Then, she was subjected to a vicious beating by the ice cream eater, before finally being knocked out cold…

* * *

Yang Xiao Long didn't know what she expected when she woke up, though being at a café not far from Junior's club was a bit unexpected. So too was seeing her sister sipping at a drink, and that little ice cream-eating bitch sitting in front of her rather smugly, eating more Neapolitan ice cream. Though she was surprised that the girl slid a Strawberry Sunrise, complete with umbrella, over to her.

"Yang?" Ruby asked when she saw her sister waking up. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, no thanks to this little bitch," Yang grumbled.

The girl pouted, typed something into the Scroll, and showed it to her. On the screen was the message, _This is the thanks I get because I stopped short of murder on the dancefloor. Besides, I thought you'd be grateful to hear something about your mother_.

Yang blinked. "But you said to Junior that you'd only do it if I beat you in a fight."

The girl snickered quietly, before she typed out another message. _I didn't say I wouldn't tell you anything if you lost. Anyway, I met your sister when I was dragging your sorry arse out. She nearly attacked me with that scythe-rifle she clearly would marry if she could_.

"She…suggested we come here while you woke up," Ruby said.

"And what do you know about my birth mother?" Yang demanded. "Who are you and how do you know about her?"

 _Well, that's a long story. But I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Neopolitan. My friends call me Neo_ …

 **HARLEQUIN TRAILER END**

* * *

 **GREEN TRAILER**

Along the streets of Vale, a dark-skinned girl with light green hair and an outfit that was somewhat revealing strutted. She made her way into a bookstore, called Tukson's Book Trade, and declaring itself, somewhat inaccurately, to have every book under the sun. As she entered, she called out, "Hello?"

"Just a moment," spoke the voice of the proprietor, a big, burly, dark-haired man, who was standing up from behind the counter. "Now, how can I…oh, it's you."

The girl smiled. "You were expecting someone else? Anyway, did you get the info we wanted?"

The man nodded reluctantly, and fished out a large book. "You didn't get this from me. Though to be honest, I don't know what you're thinking, looking to break into Beacon."

"Yeah, well, we all like to live dangerously, Tukson," the girl said, thinking back to earlier, when she nearly got caught pickpocketing…

* * *

 _"We're gonna carve you up so fine, the worms won't have to chew," sneered the Faunus._

 _Another nodded. "Who's going to care about a street rat?"_

 _She rolled her eyes. Here she was, doing what she did best by stealing the Lien from people's pockets, and these fuckers took issue because she hadn't noticed them watching her nick their comrade's wallet. And she was sure they were White Fang to boot_ …

* * *

"I heard you got into a scuffle earlier today," Tukson said. "Some people new to town."

"And lacking in brain cells. What is it about fanaticism that lowers IQ by at least twenty percent?"

* * *

 _The green-haired girl smirked, before suddenly, one of the Faunus laid out the other with a haymaker. She then knocked that one out, and looked at the third. "You're new in town, aren't you? Now, give me your Lien and leave. Call it a 'Stupid Newcomer Toll."_

* * *

Tukson grimaced. "I thought thieves were meant to go unnoticed."

"Yeah, well, my friends are rubbing off on me a little…they say hello, by the way…"

* * *

 _The third Faunus is rammed into a wall, and falls unconscious. The green-haired girl smirked as she took the Lien cards out of their wallets, and then ran off. "Welcome to Vale, idiots," she laughed as she sprinted away_.

* * *

"Anyway, thanks for the info. And be careful, the White Fang's working for Roman Torchwick, last I heard. Things are going to heat up around here."

Tukson nodded grimly. "Stay safe, Emerald."

Emerald Sustrai shrugged, and smiled. "Stay safe? What's life without a little risk?" she asked, shortly before leaving the store…

 **GREEN TRAILER END**

* * *

 **OPENING**

 **Music:** ** _Otherworld_** **by Nobuo Uematsu and Alexander Smith**

 _We make a series of blindingly fast zooms through the burning, blood-drenched city of London as the opening riffs begin, all the way up to Schrödinger perched on a building. With the next set of riffs, we see him tearing open his throat, falling into a river of blood, and being absorbed into Alucard, who implodes into a white void. This void spits out Schrödinger, no longer dressed in a Hitler Youth uniform, albeit in clothes that are not dissimilar in colour, who is revealed to be falling from the sky in front of the shattered moon of Remnant. We zoom out to see Vale and Beacon under a moonlit sky as the title caption_ **RWBY: SINS** _shows up. Then the lyrics begin_.

Go, now, if you want it,

An otherworld awaits you

Don't you give up on it,

You bite the hand that feeds you!

 _With each of the lines of the verse, we see the member of Team SINS in action: Schrödinger disappearing and reappearing as he slashes at Grimm with a long knife like the one he killed himself with, and shooting them with a pistol in the grip like Olga in_ Metal Gear Solid 2 _; Ilia using Crossland to beat back members of the White Fang; Emerald using her kamas against more Grimm; and Neo cartwheeling and somersaulting away from the camera to sit on a crate and smirk smugly, rather like how she did in her fight with Yang_.

All alone, cold fields you wander,

Memories of these cloud your sight…

 _We see from above Schrödinger walking along a snow-riddled field in Atlas, his shadow grotesquely large in front of him. Like how the carpet Momonga/Ainz walks in the_ Overlord _anime's title sequence shows characters from the series, we see the following in the shadow: Team RWBY; Team JNPR; Ozpin and Glynda; Ironwood, Winter and Penny_ …

Fills your dreams, disturbs your slumber,

Lost your way, a fallen knight…

 _More faces show: Cinder Fall, Mercury Black, and Roman; Adam Taurus and the Albain Twins; a mysterious silhouette that could be Salem, with Watts, Hazel and Tyrian in front of her; and another mysterious set of silhouettes that look familiar…with the Nazi flag behind them, only for the red around the swastika to bleed into the shadow and create a monstrous, dark shape that could be Alucard, grinning viciously_.

Hold now, aim is steady,

An otherworld awaits you,

One thousand years you ready?

The otherworld awaits you…

 _Team SINS dashes along the ground alongside Team RWBY and JNPR, facing down a veritable army of Grimm. We cut to Ironwood and Winter facing off against a hulking silver-haired, tanned skinned figure in a long coat, his eyes red, before he shifts into something like a misty wolf_.

Hope dies and you wander,

The otherworld it makes you

Dreams they rip asunder

The otherworld, it hates you!

 _We see Amber, the Fall Maiden, confronting silhouettes of Cinder, Mercury, a gangly girl with glasses and a musket, and a muscled girl wielding a scythe, the latter of whom slams her hand onto the ground and causes arcane writing to crawl along the ground towards Amber. The writing-covered ground seems to tear itself apart, revealing a torn photograph of Team STRQ, which is revealed to be in the hands of a pensive but determined Raven Branwen, as what looks like a shadowy outline of Alucard enters her tent…and kneels_.

Free now, ride up on it,

Up to the heights it takes you,

Go now, if you want it,

Another world awaits you!

 _Team SINS, RWBY and JNPR are flying through the air above the Emerald Forest, as if it's Initiation. All look determined…except Jaune, who looks motion sick. We then see them land (even Jaune manages to make it look good), Team SINS first and foremost as the titles end_ …

 **TRAILERS ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, there you have it. Teaser trailers for my latest crossover project:** ** _RWBY: SINS_** **. Okay, they're a bit lacking, but they show a little of what you're in for. I originally intended this to be a Potterverse crossover idea, like an AU of** ** _Under the Light of the Shattered Moon_** **, but while talking to mellra about story ideas, they suggested a story where Schrödinger is reborn on Remnant and is adopted by Summer Rose. I decided to use the basic concept, with mellra's permission, to modify this. And I think it will be awesome.**

 **Incidentally, the lyrics come from** ** _Otherworld_** **, from** ** _Final Fantasy X_** **. Obviously, I don't own the song or lyrics, yada yada yada…**

 **Hope this excites you guys.**

 **EDIT: A guest reviewer asked why Neo's trailer was called the Harlequin trailer, as they claim Harlequin is a shade of green. Which may be true, I haven't looked it up, but it's worth pointing out that another name for Neapolitan ice cream is _Harlequin_ ice cream, at least that's what Wikipedia claims.**


	26. RWBY: SINS Chapter 1

_**RWBY: SINS**_

 **CHAPTER 1:**

 **THE BEST LAID PLANS…**

 _With a deranged grin, he took the dagger, and plunged it into his neck, so deep that, as he tore the knife through, he decapitated himself. His body and his head toppled off the building into a river of blood below, his blood mingling with the crimson torrent. His duty had been done. He was the poisoned bait meant to kill a monster._

 _And yet, some part of him regretted this, the part of him that wasn't brainwashed into furthering the glory of National Socialism, of the one last spectacle of Millennium. He'd never gotten to have a girlfriend (the closest he got was flirting a little with the much older Rip, and that fledgling of Alucard's). He'd never gotten to drive a car at ridiculous speeds down a road (and if he crashed, well, he'd be fine). He'd never gotten to have a full life, even though normally he couldn't die. Permanently, anyway. Though this was set to change all that._

 _Soon, he was drowning. Not in blood, but in souls. Souls, souls everywhere, and he couldn't tell what was his own. His existence was drowned out in a cacophony of screaming voices. And he heard the Major's mocking voice, and then Alucard mocking him right back…only for a thrill of sudden realisation as he felt his existence dissolve, and take Alucard with him._

 _But a small and vocal part of him, one that he had thought had been silenced by experiments long ago screamed,_ _ **No, I don't want this! I want to be free! I want to be free to be me! Not as part of Millennium! Not as part of Alucard! My mission is over…can I be free to live?**_

 _That small part of him felt it detach away from himself, trailing red and black like blood from a severed limb in water. The greater part of him was continuing in perpetual non-existence to fulfil his mission…but a small part of him was being brought to another world…for redemption._

 _Unfortunately, there were some passengers tagging along for the ride_ …

* * *

Fuchsia eyes flickered open, and lips parted to emit a hoarse groan of pain. It felt like he had stabbed himself in the forehead with his own knife. "I'd suggest not moving that much, or not speaking for a while," a calm voice said with considerable authority. "You've just inhaled an anaesthetic gas designed for security purposes. It's supposed to disorient the inhaler upon awakening, with symptoms rather close to a hangover. A special Dust mixture prevents you from being overdosed."

It came back to him in a flash, and he groaned again, more in self-reproach than pain. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why oh why did he think that trying to raid some hidden basement beneath Beacon Academy was a good idea?

Oh, right. Because he was the leader of a group of daring criminals who liked to steal the impossible. And because he had a rather cocky attitude that threw caution to the wind. Besides, Beacon Academy had to have something interesting and potentially valuable locked away in its basement.

Well, it certainly had something interesting, if only in the curse sense of the word. While searching for something, he and his friends had stumbled across what looked like a life support capsule, within which a young woman lay, comatose and scarred along her face. And it was at that point that they had been gassed. It was probably one of the few things he was vulnerable to.

The voice continued. "Calico Schrödinger. Age: 18. Born in Mantle. Orphaned at a young age during a White Fang rally that turned violent, with interference from thugs hired by the Schnee Dust Company suspected but not proven. Turned to a life of theft, becoming known as 'The Cat Who Walks Through Walls' and 'Nine-Lives Schrödinger' for an unusual Semblance. You lead three other thieves in a group known as the Strays, although there is only one other Faunus aside from yourself. The other members are Ilia Amitola, formerly of Atlas, a chameleon Faunus wanted for the assault of the daughter of at least one prominent family, Neopolitan, no other name given, known for her usage of illusions and teleportation as part of her Semblance, and Emerald Sustrai, formerly of Vacuo, wanted on a number of charges of pickpocketing even before she joined you."

Schrödinger finally focused on the man who was talking, sitting next to his bed. A shock of grey hair framed a face of indeterminate age. Calm, analytical eyes peered out from behind small glasses. He held a mug in one hand, from which he sipped. "I wouldn't try using your Semblance yet," the man said gently. "The Dust mixture also contains an experimental formula designed to suppress Aura and Semblances. I believe James developed it specifically to capture you."

Schrödinger knew who this man was. This was the headmaster of Beacon Academy, Professor Ozpin. And James would have to be General Ironwood, the leader of the Atlesian military. A man he and his friends had pissed off on more than one occasion, though they did more with Jacques Schnee. Hell, not so long ago, Schrödinger acted as a distraction, scrawling on Weiss Schnee's face with permanent marker while his friends hijacked a truck filled with antiques Jacques was going to sell off to line his own pockets.

They sold them, and took much of the money for themselves, though they dropped a substantial amount at a certain orphanage in Mantle, one where he and Neo had grown up. And kept a few antiques for themselves.

Ozpin was peering into his eyes. "You have older eyes than you should, you know. Even in a world where the Grimm or other forces take our family from us, your eyes are older than they should be."

"What do my eyes have to do with anything?" Schrödinger croaked, alarmed that Ozpin seemed to know about his age.

"It's a cliché, though one with some truth to it, that they are a window to the soul. Now, if you'll forgive me uttering another cliché, what to do with you?" Ozpin's demeanour, while friendly and genial, suddenly became a lot more serious. "I want you to answer one question: did someone ask you to steal something from Beacon, or was it your own idea?"

"It was my idea," Schrödinger blurted out without thinking. Something about Ozpin's presence had him speaking the truth. Well, he would have said they weren't hired by anyone even if they were. And some instinct of Schrödinger's told him that Ozpin was old. Ancient even. More so than Alucard.

Ozpin nodded. "I believe you. But…you have seen altogether too much. You and your friends saw things that, if it reached the wrong ears, would spell disaster."

"The Fraulein in the capsule?" Schrödinger asked. He hadn't completely gotten over the habit of using the occasional German word.

"The Fraulein…yes, you mean the girl," Ozpin said. "Especially as the Strays are rumoured to have abilities that could have made attacking her easier. There are rumours, for example, that Miss Sustrai has turned her opponents against each other, and Miss Neopolitan can create illusions capable of fooling anyone."

"We didn't do it!" Schrödinger protested. "I hadn't seen the Fraulein before, at least not until we were there." Then, after a moment, he asked, "Who is she? Why was she attacked, Herr Ozpin?"

Ozpin took a sip from his mug, apparently contemplating an answer. Eventually, he said, "Her name is Amber, and she has…abilities that were coveted. The attack, which happened about a month or so ago, left her in a coma, on the verge of death. We have reason to believe that those who attacked her intend to finish the job."

Schrödinger's mind raced. A young woman, with abilities that were coveted? "A Maiden," he murmured in realisation, unaware that he was thinking out loud until he saw Ozpin's eyes sharpen. "The Fraulein is one of the Maidens."

"As I've said, you've seen too much. But I'm not a mobster, and I don't kill people because they have found out my secrets," Ozpin said. "Besides, you're rather infamous for being able to undo your own death using your Semblance. Curiosity certainly wouldn't kill you permanently. Therefore, I am going to bring the Strays into Beacon."

"…What?"

"I've been following your exploits with considerable interest," Ozpin said. "You've become something of a group of folk heroes, particularly to the Faunus, despite your sabotage of many White Fang missions, because of your attacks on SDC holdings. James is particularly frustrated because you have delivered documents relating to some of the dirtier deeds of the SDC to him, and he doesn't know whether to commend you, or shoot you to see how your Semblance works. Not to mention the prank you played on Winter Schnee, exchanging her uniforms for…" Ozpin coughed into his hand, concealing an amused smile. "…well, let's just say that while leather and rubber have a place in military clothing, that's not it. Though a certain dusty old crow of my acquaintance found it hilarious."

"You're allowing a group of known thieves into Beacon?"

"Yes. Your skills are superlative, and I have need of them, bluntly. And I have admitted worse people into Beacon." Ozpin looked pensive. "Given your ties to the local underworld, you have heard the rumours that Roman Torchwick is working with the White Fang?"

Schrödinger nodded uncertainly. "Neo was actually approached by him the other night. We were planning this, though, and declined. Actually, she encountered the daughter of one of your former Huntresses."

"Yes, I'm aware of Neo's altercation with Yang Xiao Long," Ozpin said. "And of the rather unflattering, but sadly accurate way she spoke about Raven Branwen. You encountered her before?"

"We were defending an orphanage we were helping from her bandits," Schrödinger said with a scowl, before it became a shudder. "There was… _something_ that attacked us all, something that had been stalking me. I fled with my friends, while that… _monster_ attacked the bandits."

"The Forest of Stakes," Ozpin said with a nod. It had become infamous: most of the bandits, not just Raven Branwen's tribe but a few others, had been killed, scores impaled on stakes. Indeed, Branwen's tribe was the only surviving bandit tribe. Eyewitness reports varied wildly, Schrödinger knew, but they spoke of a pale-skinned, dark-haired man with crimson eyes and clothes. Only, he was more of a monster than a man.

A monster Schrödinger had inadvertently brought with him. Well, part of one.

"Well, Miss Xiao Long wasn't pleased, but she was grateful for any information about her mother all the same," Ozpin said. "In any case, this is my offer: officially, the Strays will be brought into Beacon Academy as Hunters in training. Unofficially, I'd like you to do off-the-books missions for us, missions uniquely suited to your skills, in exchange for reasonable compensation to yourself and to the causes you…assist with your escapades."

Schrödinger bristled a little. "And why should we join you? I could escape very easily if I wanted to, and get my friends out too."

"Well, I could appeal to your sense of decency, or of having a stable source of income that doesn't necessarily entail theft…but perhaps the thought of giving James an ulcer at the thought of being here will help?" Ozpin raised his hand, intending to sip from his mug, only to realise it was gone, and currently in Schrödinger's hands.

Schrödinger sipped it, and blinked. "Hot cocoa? I expected coffee or tea."

"Everyone thinks that," Ozpin said. "It's good, isn't it?"

" _Ja_ ," Schrödinger agreed. Eventually, he said, "I want to discuss this with my friends first…"

* * *

"So the girl's the Fall Maiden, huh?" Emerald remarked, the green-haired, dark-skinned girl folding her arms underneath her breasts. "No wonder Ozpin had all that security around her."

Ilia nodded. The brown-haired (well, when calm and not using her abilities) chameleon Faunus looked pensive. "And a couple of the White Fang members I managed to speak to said that some weird woman turned up and defeated or killed Taurus' minions with powers that sound like a Maiden's. This was shortly after Taurus' girlfriend Blake Belladonna left at the conclusion of a train robbery."

"Wait, isn't she the daughter of Ghira?" Emerald asked. "The leader before Sienna Khan sunk her claws into the Fang?"

"Maybe she's gotten a clue," Ilia said. "I'm all for sticking it to the SDC and these other anti-Faunus idiots, but there are better ways than terrorism. Killing some of them, yes, the ones that deserve it, but still…" She turned to another girl, the smallest, though she was about their age, with pink and brown hair, the pink having white streaks in it, and mismatched eye colours. "Neo?"

After a moment, Neo pulled out her Scroll and typed into it, before showing the message. _As much as I don't want to be Ozpin's leashed dog, I do anticipate many fun opportunities for depriving people of their monies, their possessions, their dignity and their sanity. Not necessarily in that order. I'm in_.

Schrödinger looked at the others, who nodded. "Okay. For the moment, we'll play along with this. Who knows, we might have some fun, _ja?_ "

"And it means having to move around less," Emerald said. "But do you think Ozpin's setting us up?"

"He probably sees us as useful. Besides, you hear rumours about him. The main thing that really worries me is his ties to Ironwood," Ilia pointed out. "Other than that, Ozpin is a considerably vocal supporter for Faunus rights, at least within Vale. Better him than that shifty idiot Lionheart. Seriously, how did that old fraidy-cat get to be a headmaster of a Hunters Academy?"

"I don't know, Ilia. So, it's agreed? We accept the offer for now?" The three nodded. " _Alles klar._ "

* * *

As part of their cover, they were coming in to Beacon, at least publicly, on one of the airships. Unfortunately, they, or at least Neo, had been recognised. Well, by two people.

"You!" a buxom blonde snarled, storming up to Neo, who affected a look of mock innocence that fooled nobody.

"Hey, hold up, Yang!" a short redhead that reminded Schrödinger of Little Red Riding Hood yelped. "You're making a scene!"

"Agreed. Can we get over the ass-kicking Neo doubtless gave you?" Emerald asked.

"It's more than the ass-kicking, which totally didn't happen no matter what this brat claims," Yang snarled.

Neo typed something into her Scroll. _Ah, denial and anger, the first and second stages of grief_.

Ruby blinked. "But…nobody died, did they?"

Neo smirked. _No, but Yang's dignity and self-assurance has a terminal illness. So sad. I'll bring flowers to the funeral_.

Schrödinger, despite his smirk, intervened smoothly just as Yang seemed set to explode. "Sorry about my girlfriend's rudeness, Fraulein. I am told you interrupted her eating her ice cream. It's not a good idea to do that. I'm Schrödinger. You've met Neo, and these two are Ilia and Emerald."

Yang calmed herself with an effort, before she said, "I'm Yang Xiao Long. And this is my sister Ruby Rose."

 _Half-sister_ , Neo typed in. _Same daddy. Yang's mother was Raven, for which you have my sincerest condolences, Yang. As I said when we last met, I'm glad you got her bitching good looks instead of just general bitchiness. Ruby's mother was Summer Rose_.

"Nice to meet you, Yang, Ruby," Ilia said, shaking their hands. "Sorry about these reprobates. Emmy and I are the better-behaved ones." She promptly got swatted playfully over the head by Neo.

"Neo told us you fought pretty well," Emerald said. "Don't feel bad about losing to her. She's ridiculously skilled, and she likes playing with her foes. Sometimes, she acts more like a cat than Schrödinger. Plus, her Semblance is ridiculously OP."

"Yeah, that is seriously hax," Yang said, rubbing the back of her head.

 _That's the Power of NEO_ , Neo typed in smugly. _Fuelled by eating so much ice cream I could puke_.

As if Oum Himself wanted to punish her for her hubris, the moment was promptly ruined when a queasy-looking blonde boy staggered over and emptied the contents of his stomach all over her shoes. Still, the bruises he would then endure would take his mind off his motion sickness for the rest of the journey…

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Schrödinger and his friends have been conscripted into Beacon, and have met Ruby and Yang. And Jaune emitting a Technicolour Yawn. Good times.**

 **No numbered annotations this time.**


	27. RWBY: SINS Chapter 2

**I'm gratified at the positive response _RWBY: SINS_ has garnered. So, here's a second chapter. Hopefully, it may be posted as a full story, but I want to get more chapters finished first. Keep in mind, this story is going to be a little cracky. Not as bad as, say, RumbleintheDumbles' _A Change of Heart_ and _The Domino Effect_ , but still...there's going to be a lot of influence from _Hellsing Ultimate Abridged_.**

* * *

 ** _RWBY: SINS_  
**

 **CHAPTER 2:**

 **HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS AND PISS OFF PEOPLE**

As he waited at the auditorium for the welcoming speech to begin, Ozpin frowned as his Scroll chirruped. He fished it out, and opened up his messenger software, and his frown deepened. HE had found him again. With a sigh, he read the message.

 ** _TCF_** _: 'Sup, you antediluvian fogey. Still cuckoo for cocoa?_

 ** _HotCocoa4Life_** _: You again. I presume you don't have better things to do than to annoy me?_

 ** _TCF_** _: Well, it's rare I get to meet someone even older than I am. And the few times I have, I've eaten them. Some were like fine wines, and others like vinegar. I get the feeling you'd be in the latter category._

 ** _HotCocoa4Life_** _: And it's rare that I have to deal with someone of your persistence. I have to wonder what possessed her to give you a Scroll._

 ** _TCF_** _: Meh, I got bored, and I wanted to stream some vids. Even out in the boonies, the Wi-Fi is amazing, or whatever you call it. She may be a bitch, but the boss lady knows better than to allow me to get bored. She even lets me go for enthusiastic walks. Would you believe I tried out that method I thought might preserve a Grimm for taxidermy? Here's the results._

A photo popped up on the Scroll screen, with a caption below it: _#NoFilter_.

 ** _HotCocoa4Life_** _: Well, colour me impressed. Actually, I've given the process to Professor Port to try out. I believe the Port Process will revolutionise Grimm Studies the world over and ensure his name goes down in history._

 ** _TCF_** _: Wow. Well played, Ozzie. No, seriously, I'm applauding on the other end here. The boss lady claimed you were a troll of the highest order, but I never believed it until today. Well, I shall have my revenge sooner or later. But at the moment, I'm too busy having fun sending death threats by carrier pigeon to your equivalent of the Pope. That, and, well, the drunken scarecrow who's too busy fellating you when he ain't fellating his flask wants to challenge me to a drinking contest._

 ** _HotCocoa4Life_** _: As inaccurate as your assessment of my sex life is, could you please stop your drinking contest before the point where Qrow suffers irreversible liver failure?_

 ** _TCF_** _: No promises. And I was just joking about Qrow giving you head. I heard you had a thing for stern blond teachers with glasses and riding crops, though. Kinky. A bit out of your age bracket, but I guess when you're as old as we are, the 'half plus eight' rule would fail pretty hard. I have a thing for blondes myself. Not so long ago, I turned a big-tittied police girl. Bit of a wimp, but she grew into her own. Plus, she had a pretty impressive will to live. Anyhoodle, you know how I said I'd wait to have my revenge on you? Well, I was lying. As it happens, one of my familiars snuck into Beacon this morning to give you a little gift, so serendipity, huh? I tampered with your cocoa supply. Nothing major, just a special laxative, but I'd imagine that, knowing your drinking habits, you'll probably need to sprint to the toilet very soon. Have fun with that._

Ozpin felt his bowels begin to move, and he grimaced. _Oh dear. Well played_ …

* * *

It was inevitable, Schrödinger supposed, that something would happen. Yang went off with some friends from Signal Academy, and Ruby was left with them. She was a nice kid, but a kid all the same. Still, he had an inkling why Ozpin brought her in early, aside from facing off against Roman Torchwick while stopping a Dust store robbery (she had related the anecdote on the way over after the blonde boy barfed on their shoes).

Ruby, oddly enough, had silver eyes. They weren't odd enough to be that noteworthy normally, but Schrödinger once remembered a fairy tale he had read when he was little, in this life at least, about Silver-Eyed Warriors who could kill Grimm with a look, like a more heroic version of Medusa. And something told him that there was more to this tale than mere myth, especially as Ruby mentioned Ozpin taking note of her eyes when they first met.

But then, as she fangirled over various weapons, it happened.

"YOU!"

For the second time today, someone yelled that word at the Strays. And another familiar face. Namely, the icy blue-haired, pale-skinned features of Weiss Schnee. "What in Oum's name are you doing here?!" she snarled at Schrödinger.

"Umm, being a student here, Fraulein? It was either that or go to jail." Not quite true, but it would have to do. "Are you still mad I doodled on your face, Fraulein?"

"You bet your life that I am! And my name is not 'Fraulein', it is Weiss Schnee!"

Emerald wiggled her finger in her ear. "We know, Ice Queen. No need to deafen us. 'Fraulein' is just his way of saying 'miss'."

Ruby looked at Schrödinger incredulously. "Did you really doodle on her face?"

"With permanent marker," Weiss declared. "My face still feels raw from the scrubbing and exfoliation!"

"Fraulein, if I was actually a member of the White Fang, I could have done a lot worse," Schrödinger said. "Just think of me as a security consultant, testing holes in your security."

Weiss gritted her teeth, before she looked at Ruby. "A little bit of advice…"

"Ruby. Ruby Rose."

"Ruby Rose. These four are infamous criminals, the Strays. I don't know what Ozpin was thinking, letting this riff-raff into Beacon, though he may not have been thinking at all. My advice is to stay as far away from them as you can." With that, Weiss made her way away, some servants pushing luggage trolleys laden with what Schrödinger was sure was either a fuckton of clothes, or a good supply of SDC Dust.

"Who does she think she is?" Ruby asked, annoyed at Weiss' attitude.

"Weiss Schnee, the Heiress to the Schnee Dust Company."

The voice was cool and calm, but not one of the Strays, or Ruby. It was a black-haired girl with golden eyes, and a bow on her head who had walked up next to them. "Given what the Strays have done to the SDC, I'm not surprised she reacted as she did," the girl said. "Though I am surprised to find you at Beacon."

"Ozpin gave us an offer we couldn't refuse," Schrödinger said. "I'm Schrödinger. This is Neopolitan, Ilia Amitola, and Emerald Sustrai. We're babysitting Ruby here."

"I don't need babysitting!" Ruby retorted. "Anyway, I'm Ruby Rose. What's your name?"

"Blake Belladonna."

The Strays' eyes widened. On an impulse, Ilia used special Faunus hand signals, mostly used by the White Fang, but also by Faunus outside of it. She signalled, _Friends. Talk in secret later_.

Blake's own golden eyes widened, and she signalled, _Who are you working for?_

 _Ourselves_ , Ilia signalled, hoping that would mollify her. A bit of a lie, considering Ozpin conscripted them, but it was meant to mean they weren't working with the White Fang.

Blake certainly relaxed slightly. "Nice to meet you all."

"It's very nice to meet you, Fraulein. We would make beautiful children(1)."

Blake looked askance at Schrödinger, before Emerald said, "Ignore him. That's just his way of teasing girls. He's already got Neo as a girlfriend, he doesn't need a harem."

Neo was typing into her Scroll, before showing the message to Blake. _Hmm, I don't know. You're kind of hot_.

"Umm, thanks, I guess?" Blake said.

"And Neo's an even bigger troll than Schrödinger," Emerald added. "Don't get me wrong, I agree with her, but I'm already spoken for." She indicated Ilia.

"Oh. That's…nice," Blake said, uncertainly. Not because she had any issue with Emerald or Ilia being in a relationship, but because she was being hit on by a boy and two girls.

"Emmy's right. These two are trolls. Don't worry, Schrödinger is just trying, and failing, to be funny," Ilia said. "But there's nobody else you'd rather have at your back in a fight."

Blake nodded. "I'll see you later, then," she said, before walking off.

"Umm, did you have to say that to her, Schrödinger?" Ruby asked.

"It's funny, Fraulein," Schrödinger said with a shrug. "I would have said it to your sister, but I don't want to be beaten to death."

 _With her weapons, it's more of being punchsploded_ , Neo typed into her Scroll. On their looks, she rolled her eyes. _What? It's a perfectly good neologism_.

"And you guys are criminals?" Ruby asked.

"Thieves, scoundrels, ne'er-do-wells…" Emerald shrugged. "Long story short, Ozpin caught us redhanded, and basically told us we could enrol in Beacon in exchange for a pardon, or get locked up. Not that any jail can hold us for long, but it's annoying. Plus, we thought, why not?"

It was at that moment that the barfing blonde from the airship staggered up. "Hey. I'm Jaune…"

* * *

Ozpin grimaced as he staggered back to the auditorium. He needed to find a way to bar Beacon from those familiars. And to protect his precious, precious stash of cocoa. He'd need to make do with ordinary hot cocoa (the horror!) while he waited for a new reserve of his special cocoa blend to come from his supplier. He'd get this TCF back somehow.

As he sat backstage in the auditorium, glad he managed to make it to the toilet before any accidents could occur, his Scroll trilled. He opened it, and groaned softly. He'd rather deal with TCF rather than this…

 ** _HotCocoa4Life_** _: James…what an unexpected pleasure._

 ** _IAmIronMan_** _: Ozpin, we both know that this is neither unexpected or a pleasure for either of us. You know why I am calling._

 ** _HotCocoa4Life_** _: I'm sorry, James, but if this is about the Fridge Magnet Incident, then rest assured, Miss Polendina's secret is safe with me. And Qrow thinks it was a hallucination caused by the DTs. He won that bet about how long he could go without drinking, BTW, and is now making a concerted effort to exterminate what is left of his liver._

 ** _IAmIronMan_** _: No!_

 ** _HotCocoa4Life_** _: Then maybe it's about your new recruit? I apologise for not realising the young man had a silver allergy, or else I wouldn't have handed him that antique Lien coin as a gift._

 ** _IAmIronMan_** _: NO! Though it_ _ **is**_ _about a new recruit who is mute. Namely, yours. Along with three others. Do I need to lose any pretence at subtlety, or are you going to quit dancing around the subject?_

Ozpin sighed to himself. Well, at least James acknowledged he could only _pretend_ to subtlety.

 ** _HotCocoa4Life_** _: You are irritated because I have recruited the Strays. I sent everything in the email to your account._

 ** _IAmIronMan_** _: Without consulting me. Do you have any idea of the trouble they have caused me?_

 ** _HotCocoa4Life_** _: Of course. You complain about it most vociferously on many an occasion. I remember the time a few months ago when they took one of Jacques Schnee's cars from where he had parked it, apparently a priceless antique, and painted it red, before crashing it into Margaret Milk's All-Flavours Ice Cream Parlour._

 ** _IAmIronMan_** _: When we investigated the wreckage, we found a note saying, '_ We tried painting it red, but we couldn't find enough goats. So we scrapped it. Also: ' _All-Flavours_ ' my perfect ass. THEY HAD NO NEAPOLITAN!'

 ** _HotCocoa4Life_** _: Well, there was a huge silver lining to that incident. That ice cream parlour was being used as a meeting place for the White Fang within Atlas, and I heard you made many arrests, along with confiscating Adam Taurus' favourite mask while it was being repaired. And the so-called 'goat's blood' was actually raspberry flavouring for ice cream. And didn't the car originally belong to a Faunus collector, only to be stolen, and Jacques Schnee bought it under dubious circumstances?_

 ** _IAmIronMan_** _: That is the subject of an ongoing investigation, and you and I know perfectly well that Schnee will be able to buy his way out of it, like he does out of anything. And don't change the subject. Do you have any idea of the trouble you are going to cause me? I know that Weiss Schnee is going to Beacon, and when she learns that the boy who doodled on her face while she was asleep, and has been a thorn in her father's side for years, is present at Beacon, she is going to contact her father ASAP. The only way things could be worse is if the Belladonna girl's former allegiance was exposed, and I'm still not sure that admitting her to Beacon was a good idea. And there's worse. I found out details about the little group Schnee hired not so long ago, the ones acting as his enforcers. And I think they may be working for_ _ **her**_.

Ozpin felt a chill run down his spine at that thought. The only 'her' he would say in such a way had to be Salem. And James, as paranoid as he was, wouldn't make such an accusation lightly.

 ** _HotCocoa4Life_** _: How sure are you?_

 ** _IAmIronMan_** _: No evidence per se…but they seem to be encouraging Schnee's weapons development. And there's evidence of weapons smuggling, which Schnee has given quiet approval of, as long as he profits. And you've told me that_ _ **she**_ _desires conflict and chaos. We're seeing greater conflicts across the world, Ozpin, and Schnee's new enforcers seem to be behind it. And remember those people Branwen caught a glimpse of while saving Amber? Two of Schnee's new enforcers match the descriptions of two of them, albeit vaguely. But all it is is circumstantial evidence and a gut feeling._

 ** _HotCocoa4Life_** _: I see. Well, getting back to the Strays…I set out most of the reasons in the document I sent you. But I guess the most important reason is that their talents can be of significant use to us. As the cliché goes, it takes a thief to catch one, and their connections in the Vale underworld will help us, especially considering Roman Torchwick's concerning new ventures into Dust theft, as well as the rumours he is collaborating with the White Fang. The Strays certainly have no love for the White Fang, as you well know, or at least what it turned into after Sienna Khan took over. True, I am taking something of a risk, but this will hopefully lessen the chances of Amber's location being leaked to the wrong ears. And it may lessen the chaos in Atlas._

 ** _IAmIronMan_** _: I hope you're right. And I fear for the stability of Vale. Handling Jacques Schnee is up to you, Ozpin._

 ** _HotCocoa4Life_** _: Very well. Keep me apprised about these enforcers of his, please._

 ** _IAmIronMan_** _: I will. I am very worried about these people_ …

* * *

Blake Belladonna watched warily from the sidelines as the Strays, along with that Ruby Rose girl and that motion sick boy, walked into the auditorium. Ilia's hand signals had nearly caused her to run, like she had done so many times…but the Strays were infamous in their attacks on White Fang as much as their attacks on the SDC and their allies. Still, she would wait until they had a quiet moment so that they could talk in peace. She hoped they would be allies, that they would understand that she left the White Fang, and why.

She had to admit, she admired them, even if mentioning them in front of Adam was sure to send him into a rage. Not that that was anything truly novel, but the Strays were a particularly sore point for him, right up there with the SDC, the Atlesian military, and gazpacho soup (thanks to an incident where he thought it was meant to be served hot(2): he now made a habit of killing any chefs he came across by drowning them in boiling gazpacho).

But she admired them for their skill and tenacity in sticking it sideways to the SDC, and she knew that the White Fang wasn't what it once was. Even Sienna Khan herself, while she advocated violent means to further the cause, didn't intend to go as far as Adam did. But Sienna also turned something of a blind eye to the more violent members of the White Fang, thinking them useful. Blake, however, could not. To target people like Jacques Schnee was one thing, but to target people just doing their jobs…

Blake calmed herself with an effort, and looked at the Strays as calmly as she could. She thought back to the dossiers White Fang had compiled on them.

The leader, who had playfully propositioned her, was Calico Schrödinger, 18, a cat Faunus noted for a cheerful demeanour, and playful. He had, however, an unusual Semblance, one that allowed him to effectively teleport anywhere. He had even made his way into the Schnee mansion on a number of occasions, though he usually only stole a few things. He also couldn't be killed, thanks to said Semblance: at least three White Fang members had shot him on separate occasions, only to see him somehow come back to life. It had even been captured on a Scroll video recording. These had given him the appellations 'The Cat Who Walks Through Walls' and 'Nine-Lives Schrödinger'.

Despite her petite appearance, one of the few things confirmed about Neopolitan was that she was about the same age. She was also confirmed by Schrödinger himself to be his lover. She was also probably the best physical fighter of the group, despite her petite frame, and apparently had a Semblance that used illusions.

Ilia Amitola was a chameleon Faunus. Of the group, she was perhaps the voice of reason. She was one of the least noticeable of the group, but that in itself was dangerous. Those who hid themselves well had trump cards hidden. She was certainly no slouch when it came to physical combat.

The last member of the Strays was Ilia's own lover, Emerald Sustrai. Very little was known about this human, save that she had, somehow, turned her enemies against each other, presumably with a Semblance.

 _Well_ , Blake thought, at least things will be interesting here. _Even if only in the curse sense of the word_.

If only she knew…

 **CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Ozpin deals with annoying people online, and the Strays troll others. Good times. Next chapter, Ilia and Blake have a discussion, and the Initiation begins.**

 **1\. mellra suggested this in correspondence. I didn't have him risking it with an annoyed Yang, or with Ruby in close proximity to Yang, or a huffy Weiss. So, Blake gets what Seras got in Hellsing Ultimate Abridged.**

 **2\. This is based on a joke from** ** _Red Dwarf: Me Squared_** **, where Rimmer underwent a similar humiliation, albeit with less murderous inclination afterwards.**


	28. Veni, Vidi, Castratavi Illegitimos Chap1

**For all of you waiting to see _RWBY: SINS_ be published...I have bad news. While I may come back to work on it some other time, at the moment, I have no real inspiration to work on it more for the time being. Sorry, guys.**

 **Still, my Overlord stories are doing fairly well, and I thought I would do another one. Admittedly, this first chapter needs a bit of polish, but I think it has a lot of potential. Having done more heroic (Harry Potter) or anti-heroic (Church from _Red vs Blue_ ) characters getting involved, I thought I could do with a villain, and an entertaining one at that. And then, inspiration struck.**

 **You see, one of my favourite sitcoms of all time is _Blackadder_. And I was wondering...what would happen if Blackadder took Momonga's place?**

 **Scary thought, isn't it? And yet...here it is...**

* * *

 _ **VENI, VIDI, CASTRATAVI ILLEGITIMOS**_

 **CHAPTER 1:**

 **A NEW CHANCE**

The vampire known to all as Nero Vipera Berus(1) looked out across the table in the ornate meeting hall. Forty empty seats faced him, a damning indictment. Nobody had come, well, except for that overworked slime Herohero, and even that was not for long. He'd started complaining about his long work hours when Nero Vipera Berus made snarky remarks about not wanting to listen to the man's drivel. Even now, the man's words echoed in Nero's mind.

" _That's your problem, Nero! You may be a good administrator, but you're a horrid little man(_ _2)_ _! We should have had Momonga or Touch Me or Tabula in charge, not someone like you! Hell, even Peroroncino would have been better!_ "

The words stung, partly because Nero knew, in some small part of his mind that actually was capable of introspection, that he was right. The rest of him denounced Herohero as one of the ungrateful bastards who had left Ainz Ooal Gown. Only he was left, out of over forty. And even that would not be for long. After a dozen years of operation since 2126, the Dive-MMORPG _Yggdrasil_ was about to shut down its servers. And with it, would die Nero's dreams of being a king of his own little domain.

Nero Vipera Berus' true name was Edmund Blackadder, the last member of a dynasty that had often been associated with greatness. One of his ancestors was a courtier to Queen Elizabeth the First, another was the butler to George the Fourth when he was the Prince Regent. The Blackadders flirted with greatness, but never seemed to get it: the nearest they got was a deluded dream brought about by too much time travel.

Blackadder's family fortune, however, had been lost by his grandfather through bad investments and gambling. Even a company established by his ancestors had been taken over by the Melchett-Darling Conglomerate. And Edmund was left with nothing. Not even a Baldrick: the last Baldrick, astonishingly, had drowned in the Solent in 2081, the mephitic corpse of the last of the Baldricks doing more to wipe out the ecosystem of the world's oceans than any oil slick or toxic waste dumping (an irony, considering that Baldrick's line probably crawled out of the primordial soup, and yet had doomed all marine life by returning to the oceans). The best he managed to do was to get a job as a call centre operator in the company his family once owned.

 _Yggdrasil_ had been the only thing in his life worth living for. So had Ainz Ooal Gown. And yet, having now made it to the top of this fantasy world…he felt hollow. Unsatisfied.

Standing with a decisive air, he walked over to the staff floating in an alcove in the corner, the customised Guild Weapon, the Staff of Ainz Ooal Gown. Ornate and powerful, it was all going to be deleted, along with everything else. With a sigh, he took it from the alcove, and began wandering the Tomb of Nazarick, heading for the throne room, Legemeton.

On the way, he ran into Sebas Tian, the chief butler of the Tomb of Nazarick, and his battle maids, the Pleiades. Blackadder couldn't help but smile. From what he heard, the Baldricks were mostly incompetent, and he would have preferred to have Sebas as a retainer. Though he did create an NPC in Baldrick's likeness, as the Floor Guardian of the Eighth Floor. He made that Baldrick intelligent, though. Not too intelligent, but enough so that he might be a useful sounding board. Not that he could communicate in any meaningful way.

And then, there were the Pleiades, all sexy maids, each a different monster girl, although the only one with an overtly monstrous appearance was Entoma. Blackadder was amazed that Peroroncino didn't have a part to play in creating these maids, given the infamous libido of said player: hell, that bird brain had made his own Floor Guardian who was basically a Gothic Lolita vampire. Blackadder had altered her appearance settings a while ago so she looked like an adult. Not that he could bang her, or any of the NPCs, as naming and shaming players who tried it was common practise in _Yggdrasil_. Despite what Peroroncino wanted to do.

Peroroncino was probably one of the few players Blackadder got along with, the man's obsession with porn games aside. At least he was interesting to talk to, as long as you tuned out the squick. Still, given his avian avatar, he really put the birdbrain into birdbrain. Blackadder heard rumours that Peroroncino and his sister, along with Momonga, had started up their own guild, along with a few other members of Ainz Ooal Gown. Traitors, he thought of them as. If they didn't like the way he ran things, they deserved to be banned from the guild.

Still, the NPCs were loyal. They were more loyal than a sycophant fresh from Sycophants-R-Us, slathered in Suck-Up Oil. Then again, they were programmed that way. A pity they couldn't be his loyal minions in reality, so he could conquer the world. Then again, what was there to conquer in this polluted shithole of a world?

Blackadder's sigh echoed around the throne room as he entered. He walked along the vast hall, and ascended to the throne, dismissing Sebas and the maid harem along the way. Waiting near the throne, holding a magic rod of some sort, was another NPC, Albedo.

Albedo was created by that weirdo Tabula Smaragdina, who had written a backstory easily the length of a novella for her. Blackadder should know: on a whim, he read it. And regretted it. Earlier today, knowing Tabula would probably never come back, he rewrote the last sentence. Instead of saying _She's a bitch_ , he put down, _She is in love with Blackadder_. Petty and stupid, but Blackadder was feeling petulant. And lonely.

She was the epitome of beauty, her slender figure clad in an elegant white dress. A golden, spiderweb-like necklace was draped across her generous breasts. Dark hair framed a face fit for a goddess, a faint smile perpetually present on her lips. But she was no deity, at least of the benevolent kind: her eyes were golden with slitted pupils. A pair of horns curled around her head from her temples like a diabolical coronet. And a pair of jet-black wings protruded from her hips. A Succubus, in short. A literally horny devil.

Blackadder got to the throne, and sat down, crossing his legs, and looking down at the NPCs. _It should be this way_ , he thought, even as he spoke out loud, "Bow down." The NPCs promptly obeyed.

He must have looked a sight, really. He kept his features to a degree, of a dark-haired man with a square face that was somewhat flexible. He was dressed in a dark cloak over old-fashioned clothing that wouldn't have looked out of place on Christopher Lee in those old Hammer Horror films. He had an emblem sewn on his lapels. On his right lapel, he had the insignia of Ainz Ooal Gown. On his left, he had his family's coat of arms, of a black serpent rearing up, and the motto _Veni, Vidi, Castratavi Illegitimos_. Or, _I came, I saw, I castrated the bastards(_ _3)_.

As the clock counted down towards midnight, Blackadder sighed. _What I wouldn't give for a chance to conquer a world with these guys? I want to be a king…no, an emperor, and of a world worth conquering. And I want a harem of willing and nubile concubines. Is that too much to ask?_

And then, the clock reached midnight…

And continued ticking on.

Blackadder blinked in confusion. Did they push back the shutdown time or something? He opened his console menu…or at least tried to. But nothing appeared. His frown deepened. GM Call? Nope. Logout? Nada. It seemed someone, somewhere, had pulled a Baldrick, and had thoroughly screwed things up more than an overenthusiastic carpenter.

And then, something happened that made it even more weird. He heard a voice, a beautiful, angelic voice that he wasn't expecting to hear.

"Is there something wrong, Lord Blackadder?"

Blackadder started, and then looked over at the source of the voice. Except it shouldn't be possible. And yet, he had heard it from the lips of the kneeling Albedo, who was tilting her head in confusion.

"Uhh, I'm having technical difficulties," Blackadder said, a little absentmindedly. As she got up and got closer to him, he frowned. He could smell a perfume she was wearing…and that should be impossible. Dive-MMORPGs didn't have smell. They had sight and sound, and limited touch sensations.

"Excuse me, my lord?" Her lips were even moving in sync with her voice.

"I mean, the GM Call isn't working, amongst other things."

"My apologies, but I don't know what this GM Call is. Please forgive my ignorance, my lord."

 _I'm having a conversation with a bloody computer character_ , Blackadder thought. _Did the server shutdown fry my brain or something? Is this some terminal dream?_ Out loud, he decided to try to get the attention of the others present. "Sebas, Pleiades?"

The butler and the maids looked at him, and acknowledged him in unison. After some thought, Blackadder decided to check something else. It was ludicrous to believe this, but if something like out of an idiotic anime had happened, and he was on another world or something, he needed to know for sure. "Sebas, take Shizu Delta outside the Tomb of Nazarick and check the outside at once. If there's anyone present, avoid them if you can. If you can't, kill them if they are hostile, and if they're not, ask for information."

"Understood, Lord Blackadder," Sebas said.

As he and Shizu left, Blackadder said to the other Pleiades, "Go to the ninth floor and guard it against any intruders."

As they bowed and left the room, Albedo turned to face Blackadder, and smiled. "And what do you desire of me, my lord?"

"Hmmm…come over here a moment, Albedo."

"Sure!" Albedo giggled and went up to him. Blackadder gently reached over and grasped her wrist. It was so warm, and there was a pulse and everything…and she was blushing like mad.

And then, he realised something. He had rewritten that damned biography that Tabula wrote for Albedo…so that she was in love with him. And if this wasn't some dying delusion thrown up by a brain cooked by a malfunctioning cyberneural implant…

"Albedo…may I kiss you?" he asked.

Now, this probably would have gotten him a slap under other circumstances…but Albedo's face lit up. "Yes! Yes!" she squealed.

With that, Blackadder stood, bringing the Succubus to him, and pressed his lips to her own. Her muffled moans of pleasure were music to his ears. He could get used to this.

So…assuming this wasn't a delusion or a dream…at the very least, he had a large dungeon filled with minions who may very well be willing to do his bidding. What's more, a number of those minions were nubile women that, if this wasn't _Yggdrasil_ , were more than willing to sleep with him. And if his character had become real, then it meant he was now a vampire, and would live forever as long as he could either drink some blood, or rock down to the nearest hospital and raid it.

His hand snaked down to Albedo's shapely derriere, and caressed it. In a way, it was the final test: stuff like this wouldn't be possible in Yggdrasil, or he'd get kicked out and named and shamed. And yet, nothing happened. Well, save for Albedo's moaning becoming more husky.

She broke off the kiss, and was blushing. "So…is this it? Is this to be my first time? Oh, but what should I do about my clothes?"

"Albedo, this is not the place for such things," Blackadder said, before he grinned. "I think we should retire to the bedroom and break in the bed."

Albedo's squeal of delight could have sent dogs scurrying for cover, given how much it climbed into the ultrasonic. And that's when Blackadder knew one thing, with the utmost conviction.

Today was a good day to be a bastard.

* * *

 _Back home, he was a nobody,_

 _Blackadder's fortunes at a nadir,_

 _But now, in this reality,_

 _His name would be a byword for fear…_

 _Blackadder! Blackadder!_

 _The Lord of Ainz Ooal Gown!_

 _Blackadder! Blackadder!_

 _A bastard on the throne!_

 _He has minions to spare,_

 _Enough to conquer this brand new world._

 _Those against him will despair,_

 _The flag of conquest has been unfurled!_

 _Blackadder! Blackadder!_

 _Demons at his beck and call!_

 _Blackadder! Blackadder!_

 _His enemies will fall!_

 _Blackadder! Blackadder!_

 _From no-one to nightmare!_

 _Blackadder! Blackadder!_

 _Oppose him if you dare!_

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Oh dear.**

 **Now, I based this Blackadder mostly on the third incarnation, with some of the elements of the first one. Baldrick, when he makes his appearance, will be closer to his first incarnation (he won't be a genius, but he will have cunning plans that actually work more often than not). Unlike Momonga, when Blackadder realises the NPCs he diddled with are alive and willing, well, he'd take advantage of it. Helps that he actually has a penis.**

 **Blackadder won't be hypercompetent, though. While he was a decent enough player in** ** _Yggdrasil_** **, he was better at administration, hence why he was elevated to Guildmaster. He managed to resist being overturned so well, the others either quit, or else made their own guilds. The one I mentioned will be significant later.**

 **Anyway, unlike Momonga, Blackadder will be less intelligent. Oh, he is very intelligent, and he's good at psychological manipulation, but combat is another matter. Though considering his power compared to the inhabitants of the New World, that matters little, doesn't it?**

 **1.** ** _Vipera berus_** **is the scientific name for the Common Adder, and Nero means 'black' in Latin.**

 **2\. Herohero, of course, is quoting the lyrics from the closing theme of the first series.**

 **3\. This motto comes from the unaired pilot of the series, which, while closer to the second series in tone, was recycled into the first series episode** ** _Born to Be King_** **.**


	29. Spreading Wings Chapter 1

**Sooo...this one is going to be a really strange one. It's a crossover that, while it has been done before, it hasn't really had that many fics for it. If my story gets published, it'll probably be the longest fic in the crossover category, and will mark my first foray into a certain franchise.**

 **This fic, _Spreading Wings_ , started when whitetigerwolf brought my attention to their latest challenge, 'Lordly Ashikabi', which was basically a crossover between _Sekirei_ and _Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire_. Basically, Minato and his Flock, along with some optional others, end up in Westeros. I didn't intend to answer that challenge strictly, but rather, have a story where the Sekirei ship ended up on Planetos, and the knock-on effect of that, starting from Robert's Rebellion. However, I grew dissatisfied with how the story was going, and reluctantly decided to put it on the backburner for now, having not written any actual chapters (though I did nut out potential pairings with whitetigerwolf).**

 **That being said, I had one of those odd little epiphanies that seemingly come out of nowhere. I was considering another _Sekirei_ story, but how would I do it? Well, I decided to try doing fanfic for a franchise I had never done fanfic for.**

 **I decided on _Star Wars_.**

 **Admittedly, beyond the original trilogy and the prequel trilogy, my knowledge of the franchise is admittedly limited, partly due to lack of interest. I know of the various TV series and books and comics and games, true, but I have never watched _The Clone Wars_ or _Rebels_ , and the books I have read are, beyond the novelisations (incidentally, the novelisation of Episode III is excellent, and I recommend it to anyone feeling disillusioned by the prequel trilogy), restricted to _Splinter of the Mind's Eye_ , the first book of the Thrawn Trilogy, and _Death Star_ , the latter of which is a particular favourite of mine. And yes, I'm aware of the whole 'Legends' thing that Disney did to consign the original EU to the dustbin of non-canonicity. *sigh***

 **Now, I know what you're thinking. _Sekirei_ and _Star Wars_ doesn't seem like that good of a mesh, and I admittedly have to BS my way through it to get it to work...but I think it's worth it, especially thematically. The Sekirei bonds are at their strongest with love, and yet the Jedi must deny all attachments. An interesting paradox I hope to explore in this story.**

 **I had considered a number of ways this story could go, most of them set during the original trilogy, as I consider them to be the best overall. But then, given how much the prequel trilogy has room for improvement, I eventually realised, there was something to giving a young Anakin Skywalker (some months before the events of Episode II, so he's about 18, I think) a Flock (yes, he's not getting together with Padme...but that's a good thing, we have less of the childish infatuation that led to, well, Padme being all but choked to death, with childbirth finishing her off rather conveniently and Anakin becoming a amputated French Fry...and Padme will have someone better), as well as giving Obi-Wan something to think about. Not to mention Obi-Wan will get a Sekirei of his own. No, really. I think that, if I continue this story, many of you will be pleasantly surprised at who he Wings...and others will take umbrage. Then again, really, there is only one Sekirei he could Wing. Plus, I have an interesting backstory for the Sekirei that ties in to what little I know admittedly of the lore of the Expanded Universe.**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoy this initial chapter. Hopefully, it'll become a fully-fledged fic. As you start reading, imagine that you can hear the 20th Century Fox fanfare, see the logo of Fox, followed by Lucasfilm...and then, hear THAT theme begin at the right moment...  
**

* * *

 _ **SPREADING WINGS**_

 **CHAPTER 1:**

 **ARRIVAL**

 _A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…_

 _Or perhaps not_ …

 **Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and his Padawan, the Chosen One Anakin Skywalker, have recently finished a mission for the Jedi Order. However, their enemies, filled with spite, had sabotaged their transports, hoping to destroy or cripple their spacecraft. In doing so, they hoped to deal a dreadful blow to the Jedi Order.**

 **The sabotage damaged the hyperdrives of the Jedi Starfighters just as they were entering hyperspace. What should have been a standard hyperspace jump to Coruscant, capital of the galaxy and home of the Jedi Order, instead caused them to be flung into the depths of hyperspace. They could have been lost forever in nothingness, but for chance.**

 **They emerge from hyperspace, a long way from home, above a planet in a galaxy far, far away. But even as they make a forced landing, they will soon find that something brought them here. Perhaps it was the will of the Force. Maybe it was coincidence. But it would bring them into contact with a secret from their galaxy's past, and perhaps a hope for their future…**

* * *

Obi-Wan Kenobi huffed quietly to himself, trying to remain calm. A task that was admittedly a little more difficult than usual, considering the circumstances. He and his Padawan Anakin had been sent to deal with trouble stirred up on one of the Outer Rim worlds. Some small scraps of evidence pointed to the Separatists being behind it, but nothing substantial, unfortunately. And it very nearly became a moot point when they realised that the enemy had sabotaged their hyperdrives. It was sheer luck that they had avoided dying, or getting lost forever in hyperspace.

Even so, they had just landed rather roughly on a relatively primitive world. In the time it took for them to enter the planet's atmosphere, they found no comms signals barring simple EM transmissions, no sign of spaceflight and, judging by the smell in the air, they were still using fossil fuels as their primary means of transport. And a quick look in the skies showed that they weren't in any region of space he was familiar with. Admittedly, he hadn't travelled to every single sector of the galaxy and did any real stargazing, but he needed to know the basics for astronavigation. In fact, the astromech droids had confirmed that this planet was not on any known starcharts, and indeed was not within their galaxy, to their knowledge. Certainly out of range of comms.

Their hyperdrives were burnt out, and it would take time to repair them, time neither he nor his apprentice had. The authorities on this world would soon be coming to investigate the landing. As it was, the ships were capable of standard spaceflight, so they could be sent to the local moon temporarily. The droids could do the repairs there, away from any avaricious authorities of this world.

Still, there were a number of concerning factors, even as he gathered what supplies they could carry and gave the droids their orders. The first was that Anakin had gone off to scout, and his apprentice was more than a little impulsive, rather like saying the ocean was wet. The second was that he could feel a number of strong Force signatures, almost all of them concentrated in the city they had landed in. They were currently in a park of some sort, given all the trees and plants. The third was that he could hear distant sirens, and that meant local authorities if they were anything like the Republic.

On worlds that hadn't made contact with the Republic and whose spacefaring capabilities weren't up to going into FTL travel, well, protocol was tricky. In truth, Obi-Wan knew that more than a few worlds had attacked potential ambassadors and stolen the technology. Other first contact scenarios hadn't been so brutal, admittedly, but still, it paid to be prudent.

As he sent the starfighters off, he realised that Anakin was approaching one of the powerful Force signatures, one close by. One that seemed…crippled, somehow. Almost broken or scrapped. And oddly enough…it seemed to have a feeling of ice and snow to it, as if the Force in that area was a portal to a place like Hoth. And it felt dangerous.

Obi-Wan sighed quietly. "I have a bad feeling about this," he murmured as he picked up their supplies and left, hoping to find his wayward Padawan…

* * *

Anakin Skywalker. The Chosen One. Born to Shmi Skywalker. Father, unknown. Possessing a record number of midichlorians in his blood, giving him an unprecedented connection to the Force. And currently, feeling a mixture of annoyance, curiosity, and caution.

The former was a familiar feeling to Anakin. Annoyance and frustration were feelings he felt a lot lately, as he felt that the Jedi Order had failed to recognise his talents…or else feared them, and deliberately held him back. A more intellectual, objective part of him understood why: he had been accepted into the Jedi Order on sufferance at a much older age than the norm, and it meant more to learn in less time. He tended not to listen to that part of him, which frequently spoke with different voices. Sometimes, it was his mother. Sometimes, it spoke with Yoda's voice, even with that irritating syntax of his. And sometimes it was Obi-Wan's voice.

Curiosity was also familiar, albeit less so than annoyance of late. Of course, every time he went to another world, it was like a new experience for him. It was certainly novel, compared to the desert wasteland of his homeworld, Tatooine. He wanted to go back there, free the slaves, free his mother…but he wouldn't be able to even contemplate that before he finished his training. But this world…okay, they were in a city park, but it was better than that sprawling planet-wide metropolis that was Coruscant. This world hadn't yet been fully taken over by industry and construction. In the distance, he saw buildings with unfamiliar lettering on them, in what looked like multiple alphabets. One of them looked rather like Galactic Basic, and he was sure that some of the words he saw in that alphabet looked familiar. How that could be when they were nowhere near their own galaxy, according to their droids, he had no idea.

Caution was perhaps the least familiar emotion to Anakin, despite Obi-Wan trying to instil it in him. Still, an unfamiliar planet, with primitive technology, but a number of powerful Force signatures littered around the place, he couldn't help but be. Or at least prudent.

He was carefully approaching the closest Force signature, the one that felt like the inside of a freezer, or like an arctic world. He was nearing it now, and carefully peered through the nearby foliage, only to frown when he saw the person sitting on the bench. He had already spotted a few of the native inhabitants, who looked like humans or near-humans, but they didn't have much in the way of a Force signature. But the person, the _woman_ , sitting there…she was like a blizzard…and yet, he could feel sorrow, cold sorrow, rolling off her in waves.

She looked to be perhaps in her twenties, though her age was difficult to tell, her long, lugubrious features framed by a short mop of light brown hair, so light it was almost blonde. He thought back to how, when he first met Padmé, he had called her an angel. But while he had met many beautiful women since, some of whom were actually in the Jedi Order, there were none he would have said surpassed Padmé…save for this woman.

He had to admit, though, he had never seen a woman with such sizeable breasts before. And there was the uncomfortable fact that she seemed to be dressed in little more than a bloodstained white coat. But that wasn't the thing that drew his attention most, not her beauty or her manner of dress. No, it was the tattoo on her forehead.

It was elaborate, showing a stylised bird in flight, above a strange circular symbol that seemed divided into two segments, one dark, the other light, with dots of opposing colours in each segment. He noticed it partly because it was somewhat conspicuous, but also because he felt it in the Force. It was like a crudely-made dam, holding back the woman's massive power. It was like a seal on the Force. Barbaric, he thought.

And more than that. It had the air to him of a slave brand. His mother and himself had never been branded by Watto, thankfully: those microbombs were more effective as a deterrent. But a few slaves weren't so lucky, and Anakin felt a familiar rage boiling over. Stifling it with an effort, he decided to approach the woman. He hoped his unfamiliar clothes would not be startling to her. He halted at a polite distance, and said, "Good evening, miss. Do you speak Galactic Basic?"

She didn't look up, though her brow creased slightly. "…Galactic Basic?" she asked, in an accented voice that nonetheless seemed devoid of emotion. "English?"

Anakin frowned. "…So you speak it? I am Anakin Skywalker. What is your name?"

"…Akitsu."

That sounded like a sneeze. "…You shouldn't be out here at night, Akitsu. Haven't you got a home to go to?"

"…No. I am broken. Nobody wants me."

Well, that answered one question, but left many others. Galactic Basic was, somehow, spoken here. Despite them not being in the same galaxy. And Akitsu thought herself 'broken'. Then again, given that seal on her ability to use the Force…

Suddenly, Anakin realised two Force signatures were approaching. One had the feel of his master, no doubt intending to lecture him about wandering off. The other felt a little like the woman, but with no dam, and more of a feel of earth, and…sharpness, if he had to put a name to the sensation he felt. Like a sword stuck in the ground. Very powerful, too.

Anakin pursed his lips. While he was a prodigy in manipulating the Force, he was no healer. But that was precisely what this woman Akitsu needed.

The sheer sadness within her called to him. And he decided to do something that Obi-Wan would doubtlessly lecture him for kriffing hours on end. But he was used to that by now, and he refused to stand by and let her be chained.

He gently placed his hand on his forehead, and instinctively reached out with the Force. He felt the dam resisting his efforts, but he pushed, and pushed, and pushed…until suddenly, he felt it _break_.

Akitsu gasped, spasming briefly, before subsiding. His Force sensitivity was currently overwhelmed, like being dazzled by bright light. Obi-Wan chose that moment to approach them. "Anakin? What did you do? I felt a disturbance and…who is this?"

"Akitsu," Anakin said. "Master…they had a block on her ability to use the Force…like a slave-branding on her forehead. I had to remove that, I…"

Obi-Wan hushed him with a gesture, and frowned. Anakin knew what he was looking at, the fading tattoo, which even now was almost gone. "A risky venture, my young apprentice…you don't know what could have happened. Still…who could have done that to her?"

Before Anakin could formulate a response, they heard the voice of a boy say something in another language. The language was clipped, with staccato syllables. The speaker was a boy in his mid-teens, wearing a ruffled shirt that looked expensive, with a rather condescending expression on his face. Anakin noted, however, that the boy wasn't alone, accompanied by an older man, albeit perhaps in his twenties, with greyish hair framing androgynous features, dressed in a black coat with a yellow scarf, and carrying what had to be a sheathed sword.

"We do not speak that language," Anakin said.

"Oh, English?" the boy said. "Are you two Americans in cosplay or something? Well then, I asked you two to step away from the…what's English for Sekirei, Mutsu?"

"Wagtail," the man said. "But Minaka said that 'Sekirei' should be used internationally."

"Very well. Step away from the Sekirei. She's mine."

Obi-Wan peered at the boy. "I'm sorry, but for what reason do you claim this young lady as your own? And for that matter, what is your name?"

"Hmm? You sound British, not American. Anyway, I am Hayato Mikogami. I heard that a Scrapped Number was here in the park. And what do I find but a pair of poachers?"

"You're a little short to be a kidnapper," Anakin remarked snidely. "What if Akitsu doesn't want to go with you?"

"She's a Scrapped Number, she's been discarded like trash by MBI," Mutsu said. "Akitsu will be safe with my Ashikabi, my master. He is one of the strongest Ashikabi in the Sekirei Game…" Mutsu frowned. "Hmm? What are your numbers? I am Number 05, Mutsu."

"Numbers?" Obi-Wan asked.

"You two are Sekirei? I can sense your presence, and your clothes are rather outlandish for Shinto Teito, though all Sekirei are supposed to be educated in the three main languages of the region, Japanese, English, and Chinese. So…"

"…Mutsu," Mikogami said, his voice almost containing awe. "You think these two are Sekirei?"

"We're not," Obi-Wan said. "This has been something of a misunderstanding." Then, he waved his hand. "You don't want Akitsu."

"I don't want Akitsu," Mikogami intoned.

"You want to go home, as it's rather late for a boy your age."

"I want to go home, as…" Mutsu shook the boy's shoulder and barked at him in the language the boy had used earlier, and brought him out of the trance inflicted by the Jedi Mind Trick. "What the…?"

Anakin was enjoying watching his master use the old Jedi Mind Trick, he barely noticed Akitsu's cheeks flushing, and her breathing becoming more heavy. Mutsu, however, did, and he said, "Wait, she's reacting…"

Suddenly, Akitsu grabbed Anakin, and spun him around. " _Ashikabi-sama_ ," she murmured in that language Mikogami and Mutsu had used earlier, before pressing her lips to his own.

He felt the Force flowing into her body through her lips, and saw, to his astonishment, wings of ethereal energy, as if crafted from ghostly icicles, sprout from her back. She emitted a sound that sounded disturbingly pleasured. Then, as she broke off the kiss, in Basic, she murmured, "Number 07, Akitsu, is yours, forever and ever, my Ashikabi."

"…Did he just _wing_ the Scrapped Number?" Mikogami hissed in surprise.

Mutsu barked something desperate in…Japanese, Anakin guessed, and Mikogami argued with the older man, presumably acting as some sort of bodyguard, before Mikogami sulkily conceded the argument to Mutsu. "We'll meet again!" Mikogami snapped, before he retreated with Mutsu.

"…Did he actually say that?" Obi-Wan asked, voicing his thoughts out loud. He usually didn't make such comment, but he was understandably shaken by what just happened. Anakin knew he certainly was. He then turned to Anakin, and the woman all but clinging to him. "Anakin, what have you done?"

Anakin didn't have an answer. Not even a snarky comeback. All he knew was, things had become a LOT more complicated…

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Sooo…Obi-Wan and Anakin have just been drawn into the Sekirei Plan…a plan involving bonds of love…and therefore, attachments…oh dear.**

 **Okay, it's a bit of a stretch to equate English with Galactic Basic, but hey, this is fanfic, and I'm going to do a handwave of it later.**

 **No numbered annotations this time.**


	30. Spreading Wings Chapter 2

**Wow. I have to admit, I was strongly surprised by the positive reaction to _Spreading Wings_ ' first chapter. I shouldn't be, given _Star Wars_ ' popularity. But I'm glad. Hopefully, this will become a full fic. Keep in mind, though, this won't be about Anakin and Obi-Wan curbstomping the opposition: their Force powers, while more varied, aren't quite at the same level of some of the more ridiculously powerful Sekirei (*cough*, Karasuba and Miya, *cough*). But they still have the Jedi Mind Trick, and other abilities.**

 **Now, I copied and pasted a lot, as mentioned in the annotations, of this chapter from _Madness, Chaos and Wagtails_ , my abortive Cthulhu Mythos crossover. Hey, why waste good bits from a fic that you're not publishing fully?**

 **An idle thought, brought about by my mild interest in _JoJo's Bizarre Adventure_ : I reckon that _Sono Chi No Sadame_ , the first theme for the anime series, does sort of describe Obi-Wan and Anakin. Listen to Jonathan Young's cover of the song, and tell me I'm wrong.**

* * *

 _ **SPREADING WINGS**_

 **CHAPTER 2:**

 **ENMESHED IN A MADMAN'S SCHEME**

Takami wanted to strangle her boss, Minaka Hiroto, for a number of reasons. For the insane Sekirei Game he thought up based on a perversion of Takehito Asama's Sekirei Plan, for his megalomania, for his managing to seduce her and impregnate her, not once, but twice. Oh, and there was that insane cackle of his that never failed to grate on her.

But at the moment, she wanted to strangle him because he had made it a decree for the alarms in MBI HQ to be based on those from that British panel show _QI_ , and the alarms made it seem like they were caught in a time loop with Alan Davies having just made the wrong answer.

After shouting at the technicians to give her some information other than 'AWOOGA! AWOOGA! AWOOGA!' (which was admittedly what the alarms were doing rather than the technicians, but she couldn't hear the technicians thanks to the alarms), she finally got some answers once the cacophony had died down, and her ears had stopped ringing. "It's Number 07, Dr Sahashi!" one hapless technician (chosen by fate…well, drawing straws, and the game was rigged to make him a sacrifice to appease the angry deity that was Takami Sahashi) exclaimed. "She's…well, she's been…"

Takami realised what he meant with a sinking feeling. Rather too calmly, in a flat tone, she said, "Akitsu's been Winged, hasn't she?"

"Umm…yes, ma'am," the technician said, hoping beyond hope that he would get through this night without his balls mashed into testicular pâté.

"How? Who?" While still quiet, her inflection had now an incredulous and irritable edge to it, suggesting that the hapless technician wasn't quite out of the woods yet.

"…We don't know. Either of those things," the technician admitted.

Takami sighed quietly, trying very hard not to lose her temper. She wouldn't attack the technician, but if Minaka decided to make himself known…

"YES! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE SEKIREI GAME NEEDS!"

 _Speak of the devil, and he's at your shoulder_ , groaned Takami inwardly. _Skating in on roller blades and asking 'did anyone order a LARGE HAM?!'_

Without looking, she thrust out her fist. It impacted part of his face with a satisfying crunch, and sent him flying into a nearby bank of computers, which immediately started playing Minaka's own take on the Caramelldansen video…featuring the Sekirei.

"We're looking at CCTV cameras in the area. I think we've just found him," the technician said hurriedly, though he was pleased that his insane boss copped the wrath of Typhoon Takami than himself. A picture appeared of a pair of Causcasians, one with short blonde hair with a strange braid dangling from one side, the other with neck-length brown hair and a beard, both rather handsome. And both were dressed in heavy robes that had a vaguely Asian style…though they were nothing like she had seen, outside conventions with cosplayers. And she knew for a fact that there was no convention in town. She'd made sure of that herself, to Minaka's displeasure. She didn't want the cosplayers to get confused for Sekirei and forcibly kiss them.

Then, she remembered the reports of two objects falling from the skies in the same region Akitsu was Winged. Objects that had taken off shortly afterwards. Minaka wouldn't shut up about them.

"Which one is the Ashikabi?" Takami demanded.

"The younger one, the blonde," the tech said. The boy had rather intense features on him. "No IDs yet in any known database. It's like they've…"

"Dropped out of the sky?"

"…Not the words I was going to use, but yes."

"Great!" Minaka yelled as he got off the keyboard bank he had been punched onto.

"How is this at all great?" Takami said.

"Because I said so!" Another blow to the head from Takami, and he said, "No thank you, garçon, I believe I will order a bedpan and a vivarium full of tsuchinokos instead." Yet another blow, and he slurred, "And tomorrow's forecast, there will be a shower of sharks. Flurgen." With that coherent last word, he sagged to the floor. Still bearing a grin that looked like he wanted to kill Batman.

"Umm, ma'am? Why do you keep hitting him like that?" the technician asked.

"Percussive maintenance," Takami said. "I'm sure that one day, it will work out, and I'll hit him back into sanity. Or render him catatonic, so that I can actually run MBI properly." She shrugged. "Either way is fine."

The gathered technicians nodded sagely. At least there was method to Takami's madness. Whereas there was no real method to Minaka's. Then again, there was a workplace cliché that one didn't need to be mad to work here, but it helped. It certainly helped here.

"I want anything you can pull up on this new Ashikabi," Takami said, as she sat down on a chair, and used the comatose body of her former lover (acts she had regretted to this day) and present boss as a footstool. Might as well take advantage of this while it lasted. "I want to know his name, phone number, how often he goes to the goddamned toilet. I don't like being kept in the dark!"

* * *

Anakin sneezed, and then frowned. He wasn't getting a cold, was he?

Obi-Wan pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation, having draped his outer robes around Akitsu's body for modesty's sake before they started walking. "So, allow me to summarise our predicament, as you have told us. You are not a native of this world, but rather, a human-like species dubbed by the natives as a 'Sekirei', who are able to instinctively find compatible bond-mates, whom you call 'Ashikabi'. Your spaceship was discovered some years ago by scientists, and while your original intentions were to integrate with the populace, given genetic similarities, the leader of this Mid-Bio Informatics corporation has conscripted you, as well as your bond-mates, into a tournament. All for some ill-defined prize, to 'ascend'. Have I recited the salient parts?"

"…Yes," Akitsu said softly.

After a moment's contemplation, Obi-Wan muttered sardonically, "And here I was worried about getting _bored_ while our starfighters are being repaired. Though whatever they did to you, Akitsu, was barbaric."

"Master, I…" Anakin began, only for Obi-Wan to cut him off with a wave.

"It's fine, Anakin. My control slipped in sheer surprise. It is not your fault, especially if these Sekirei are hardwired to seek out a bond. And we're incommunicado for now, so we have time to think about what to tell the Jedi Council. Their reactions won't be good either way. But Akitsu, why did your people come to be here in the first place?"

"…I don't know," the former Scrapped Number said in her quiet tone. "I only know what I heard from the scientists adjusting me. Others came here in the past. The children of Sekirei and Ashikabi's became known to the legends of this world as heroes and gods. Many Ashikabis of the modern day are thought to be descendants of those children. There may be one of us who knows more, but I don't know where she is."

"Who is that?" Anakin asked.

"Number 01, the Pillar," Akitsu said. "She does not participate in the Sekirei Plan. She lives somewhere in the city, running a boarding house."

"Then why didn't you go there?"

"…Because I am… _was_ a Scrapped Number," Akitsu said. "I had no money, and many Sekirei would look down on me or fear me for being a Scrapped Number."

"If you can remember where this boarding house is, we'd appreciate it," Obi-Wan said. Looking at Anakin, he said, "We need somewhere to stay while we wait, and considering we have been conscripted into this… _uncivilised_ tournament…"

"The more information, the better?" Anakin asked. Getting a nod from his master, he looked at Akitsu. "Akitsu…do you remember anything about where this Pillar may be?"

"…No. But…I have heard of a _Hannya_ of the North of this city, one who does not suffer the presence of Ashikabi. And I think the Pillar was living with a man called Takehito Asama, before he died."

"Hmm…it's a start," Obi-Wan said.

* * *

Takami nodded grimly. Akitsu and her new escorts had been tracked to a phone booth not far away from the park. Sighing, knowing that this meant she would no longer have her footstool, she got off the chair, and kicked Minaka awake. "Wake up you idiot!"

Minaka stirred, his glasses askew. "Wuh? Mummy, it's the weekend. And I stayed up all night playing the latest _Dragon Quest_ game(1)." On his brain fully rebooting, he sat up. "Huh? What happened? And why do I feel like Shizuo Heiwajima beat the shit out of me(2)?"

"Minaka, we found a location where the Ashikabi who Winged Akitsu can be contacted at," Takami said. She also reflected privately that it was impossible for anyone to beat the shit out of Minaka, if only because he was so full of shit in the first place. "I just thought you'd want to go and get yourself ready to do your megalomaniacal nutjob routine."

"Bah! You have no appreciation for the fine and subtle art of making a grand entrance," Minaka huffed, getting to his feet, before striding out. "Make sure that we're ready to transmit to our mystery Ashikabi soon, Takami!"

* * *

They soon found, after some searching (and drawing attention for their clothing) a primitive fixed comms booth, a telephone box, Akitsu called it. They were apparently increasingly rare these days, with personal mobile devices more popular. Akitsu, who could read Japanese, was looking through the phonebook for them. Obi-Wan peered at the phone, noting that it even had a camera and a screen, though most calls were apparently audio only.

"I've found the address," Akitsu murmured, before opening the book and flicking through to a map of the city. "I think I know where to go."

Obi-Wan looked at the map. True, he could sense a number of large Force signatures to the north of the city, but that didn't mean much if this Pillar was hiding her power. "Then we'd better get moving," Anakin said.

Before they did so, though, the screen on the phone lit up. It revealed a bizarrely dressed man, at least by the standards of this world, though Obi-Wan knew of a dozen where his style would be considered the height of fashion. White hair, white suit, white cape like something out of a cheesy holovid. His glasses were opaque in the lighting. Bombastic, foreboding organ music played in the background.

And then, he spoke. Well, exclaimed, anyway. " _Greetings, to you, mysterious Ashikabi! And congratulations on joining the Sekirei Game!_ "

"I'm sorry, you must have the wrong number," Anakin said, controlling his anger with difficulty.

" _Oh, no I don't! As you're new in town, allow me to introduce myself. I am Hiroto Minaka, the CEO of Mid-Bio Informatics. By Winging Number 07, Akitsu, as impossible as such a feat should have been, you have just been conscripted into the Sekirei Game! The rules are simple: 108 Sekirei have been released into this city. They are to fight until only the last Sekirei and their Ashikabi, whether the Sekirei are singular or plural, are left standing. They then are worthy to ascend._ "

"We got as much from Miss Akitsu," Obi-Wan said.

" _Oh? But did she tell you that you can't tell anyone not in the know about this, otherwise, we might just have to silence them? Oh, and if you try to escape the city…kaboom!_ "

Obi-Wan and Anakin met Akitsu's ashamed gaze, with her murmuring, "Ah…I forgot."

Anakin glowered at the screen, and Obi-Wan had to admit, he was working to suppress his own anger. True, it was righteous…but it was also seductive, a powerful beckoning to the Dark Side. "Who do you think you are, enslaving these Sekirei?" Anakin growled. "Forcing them and innocent people into participating in this… _bloodsport?_ And for what? Your sick amusement?"

"Anakin…" Obi-Wan chided gently, before returning his gaze to Minaka. "He is not wrong. By what right do you do this to these beings who doubtless wished to integrate with humans in peace?"

Minaka shrugged. " _By what right do you have to lecture me? Is it because you yourself come from space? Dear me, how arrogant you are. I guess science fiction with arrogant, advanced aliens who look too much like us was spot on after all. I have earned my way to assuming the role of Games Master of the Sekirei Game. Still, I look forward to your efforts in the Sekirei Game with considerable interest. Oh, but don't spoil my fun too much by breaking the rules. Otherwise, I may have to send the Discipline Squad to deal with you both. Incidentally, what are your names?_ "

"I am Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Master," Obi-Wan said. "And this is my apprentice, Anakin Skywalker."

"And we will take you to account for your crimes," Anakin said.

Minaka grinned mirthlessly. " _Good luck with that_." He gestured, and the image disappeared.

After a moment's uncomfortable silence, Obi-Wan said, "I think we should head to this place as soon as possible. And Anakin…while I agree with your sentiments, there is a time and a place to declare them. We don't know enough about this world, or Minaka's plans for the Sekirei."

"How did he know we came from beyond this world?" Anakin asked. "Did he detect our starfighters landing?"

"He probably did, though coming to the conclusion he did, while possible, was rather quick. However, his character…what did you note?"

"Arrogant. Flamboyant. He has a touch of the theatrical."

"More than a touch."

"But he seemed utterly assured of his position here. Akitsu told me that MBI had bought the loyalty of the local authorities, so we cannot rely on their help. This Discipline Squad he mentioned…they must be powerful Sekirei, assuming they aren't Force sensitive humans. They must be his enforcers. And master…he is certainly insane."

"Insane, yes. But he is functional as well." Obi-Wan turned to Akitsu. "Akitsu, what can you tell us about the Discipline Squad?"

"Ah…they have been around for some time, but they have changed members often. The latest one composes of Numbers 04, 104, and 105. 104, Haihane, the Blue Sekirei, wields claws in combat, while 105, Benitsubasa, the Red Sekirei, is a hand-to-hand fighter. But 04, Karasuba…" Akitsu shuddered. "She is a monster. She wields a sword, and thirsts for bloodshed and conflict. The only one capable of matching her is the Pillar, but if they fought…this city would be destroyed."

"Well," Anakin said, "that's ominous."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Indeed. We'll head to meet with this Pillar. Maybe we can find some more answers…"

 **CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, the two Jedi have now spoken to Minaka. Those familiar with my attempt at a Cthulhu Mythos crossover,** ** _Madness, Chaos and Wagtails_** **, will note that a lot of Minaka and Takami's scenes and dialogue were copied and pasted from that work, as are the following annotations. Hey, why waste it?**

 **1\. It's an urban myth, but one commonly accepted, that a** ** _Dragon Quest_** **game can only be sold on a weekend than a weekday in Japan, due to schoolchildren ditching school to play it. That's how popular the series is.**

 **2\. For those of you not familiar with** ** _Durarara!_** **, Shizuo Heiwajima is a waiter with a hair-trigger temper and, for various reasons, super strength. No, seriously, this guy can lift vending machines with relative ease and hurl them. Although he has a short fuse, Shizuo is actually a decent guy who doesn't want to be violent, which is sort of fitting, as his name is made of the characters for 'serene man' and 'peaceful island'. Unfortunately, a lot of things piss him off, chief amongst them amoral information broker and all-round troll Izaya Orihara.**


	31. Plenipotent Player Prince Chapter 1

**Now, this one came about a little strangely. You see, some time ago, I posted a challenge, 'Zero of Ainz Ooal Gown' (long before I ever watched _Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion_ ), that crossed over _Overlord_ with _Code Geass_ , in a manner similar to my Potterverse/ _Overlord_ story _Yield to the Darkness_. Those of you following my newest stories will know that I have recently posted a Potterverse/ _Code Geass_ crossover called _Warlock_. There, in one of the earlier chapters, I discussed some stories I could do at a later date, most of them Potterverse crossovers, but I also brought up 'Zero of Ainz Ooal Gown'. A guest reviewer pointed out some reasons why they thought it wouldn't work (and very politely and constructively, I thought), and while I disagreed, it got me to thinking, how could I do it in a way that might work?**

 **This, then, is the answer. Unlike 'Zero of Ainz Ooal Gown', this is a reincarnation fic, one where Momonga and the Tomb of Nazarick never made it to the New World, instead, somehow ending up in the _Code Geass_ universe, with Momonga and most of the NPCs being reincarnated as _Code Geass_ characters. Oh, and did I mention that they have kept both their levels AND their skills? Of course, they only get those unlocked when CC gives Lelouch/Momonga his Geass...though they have felt vestiges of that already.**

 **Whether this becomes a full story or not depend on my motivation, as always, but it's a nice experiment that, hopefully, might become something more. The only other crossover of its kind is not even 5K words. Also, this will be a little cracky. You have been warned...**

* * *

 _ **PLENIPOTENT PLAYER PRINCE**_

 **CHAPTER 1:**

 **THE DAY AN OVERLORD WAS (RE)BORN**

If CC was able to move her lungs in any way, she would have sighed in irritation. That made the 87th time she had been shot in the head…since she kept mental tallies, anyway(1). Dying was an inconvenience, though she could hardly call it pleasant or even enjoyable. Oh, save for that one time she outdid Charles and Marianne in a drinking competition and her liver gave out while they were singing drunkenly and trying to shave that blonde little shit VV's head.

Well, not that Charles and Marianne were much in the way of happy memories, not anymore. CC knew that Charles had had a hand in her imprisonment, even if it was Clovis who subjected her to all those inhumane experiments. No doubt keeping her on ice until they were ready to go through with that plan of theirs. And then, these terrorists or rebels or whatever they should be called decided to steal her.

And then, things went wrong. Shortly after the capsule confining her was opened up, she found herself watching as their son Lelouch, supposedly dead (but CC had known better for some time) was being wrestled to the ground by what looked like Suzaku Kururugi, the latter forcing a gas mask over the former's face in what was either a stupid act of self-sacrifice, or something bizarrely kinky. Her money was on the former.

Then, Clovis' goons had to show up. Suzaku protested the killings, and got shot for his troubles. A terrorist driving the truck set off some explosives, and CC had been dragged through the various derelict buildings of what seemed to be the Shinjuku ghetto. Clovis was embarking on a mass extermination, and was doubtless going to try and find her later.

Lelouch wasn't half bad at hiding. While he was good at chess, he was better at a surprising number of video games, though he seemed to be drawn to RPGs, from what she remembered before she buggered off from the Britannian court. But he seemed to do well with stealth as well. At least until his mobile phone trilled at exactly the wrong moment.

He was going to be shot, and CC threw herself in front of the bullet. Even though she knew exactly how unpleasant it was to have a small but fast piece of metal pierce one's skull and splatter parts of her brain matter all over the place. Not that would mean much unless she managed to will her currently regenerating body to make physical contact with him to get him to make a contract with her.

As she gathered the willpower needed to force her body to make contact, she reflected on Lelouch. He seemed odd when she saw him during his earlier years. Even with his regal nature, granted by his birth, there were odd moments when he seemed uncertain. Prone to odd melancholies, or bitterness, or even just an occasional awed looking at the sky or at the gardens.

And then, there was his sister, the one person he indisputably loved. Strangely obsessed with insects, cute, and yet, there was something dangerous lurking beneath the façade of Nunnally vi Britannia, even if CC couldn't put her finger on it. A potential weakness, but God help anyone who tried to exploit that.

And there was their friend, Suzaku Kururugi, an earnest young man who seemed to want to wield multiple swords at once. If there was someone who embodied the ideal of an honourable warrior, it was Suzaku. Not anything as pedestrian as the chivalric codes of European knighthood, or the _bushido_ of the samurai, but something more personal.

CC had found that just a touch puzzling. Those three had seemed like older souls than they should have been. Still, it was a moot point. Her path had intersected with Lelouch's once more. And now, she was hoping, beyond hope, that he would be able to eventually take her Code and allow her to die. Or at least entertain her with his attempts to overthrow his father. It couldn't make Britannia any worse, and maybe he could stop the plan CC had once agreed to.

At the right moment, she reached out, grasped his hand, and took him into a mental world, a noosphere linked up to the great Noosphere that was the World of C. Into his mind, she spoke. _You don't want to die here, do you?_

 _What?_ Lelouch yelped, but she realised he seemed to have two voices, two images flickering over him…no, three. There was Lelouch Lamperouge, the skinny, scrawny Britannian prince in exile, his voice higher pitched and strident. There was what appeared to be a rather similarly scrawny Japanese man, handsome, but worn down by drudgery, his voice a little lower pitched. And then, behind them, with a voice like an echoing sepulchre…

 ** _Death_**.

No, not quite Death. It was a tall, robed skeleton, wielding an elaborate staff with seven jewels in the mouths of seven snakes at its apex, but it was not the Reaper, not with such a dumbfounded expression of surprise on its skull face mirrored on the faces of the other two images. She would have thought the Reaper eager to harvest her soul after so long a delay.

No. These overlapping images were the same person, she realised. Names entered her mind through their link. Satoru Suzuki, downtrodden corporate drone from a polluted future on another world. And Momonga, the Supreme Overlord, Ruler of Death, the mask Suzuki donned when he escaped to the fantasy world of _Yggdrasil_ , the MMORPG opiate of that polluted future.

Memories of another life, of the frustrations and broken dreams of Satoru Suzuki, of his stewardship of Ainz Ooal Gown, entered her mind. Of the last day of _Yggdrasil_ , of Suzuki staying logged on, bitter that his friends all but abandoned Ainz Ooal Gown, staying logged on until the shutdown…and then…Suzuki and Momonga died, only to be reborn as Lelouch vi Britannia.

 _There's power in here_ , CC mused to herself. _Somehow, he has all the powers of that avatar of his, albeit locked away. Maybe if I give him the power of the Geass, it may be unlocked. But…that guild, they roleplayed as evil monsters. If I allow him such power, beyond even that of Geass…what will he do to the world?_

It felt like an eternity, but in this memetic plain, an eternity was but a split second, especially for CC. Part of her was worried about the consequences of this…but part of her knew that, if she decided to have Charles and Marianne's plan stopped, then giving Lelouch this power would help.

Besides, there was a part of her that wanted to light the fuse and run like hell to a safe distance. Assuming there was one.

Getting back to the matter at hand, she said, _You appear to have a reason for living. If I grant you power, would that be enough for you to fight on? In exchange for power, you will grant me my heart's desire. The Power of the King…no, the Overlord will isolate you, set you above and apart from normal people. Are you prepared for this?_

She knew he would accept quickly, and thus, he did. But she wasn't prepared for the fireworks that followed when she gave him the power of Geass. She felt something blast out from Lelouch/Satoru Suzuki/Momonga, causing major ripples through the World of C. She could hear the cry of a billion, billion voices within that Noosphere…

…and they were all saying, _Oh,_ _ **shit**_ _(_ _2)_ …

* * *

In the ghettos of Shinjuku, a pair of duelling Knightmare Frames, one a battered, refurbished Glasgow, the other a top of the range Sutherland, suddenly halted and paused mid-battle. Within them, the pilots froze as memories and abilities from another time flooded in. The teal-haired man in the Sutherland blinked, a strange thought flitting through his mind that he was missing a butler's outfit, while in the Glasgow, a red-haired girl with a belligerent demeanour suddenly shrieked, "Lord Momonga! My love, where are you?!"

* * *

In another Sutherland, a dark-skinned woman with silvery blue hair blinked. "Huh? Where's my crozier, _su?_ "

* * *

In the Student Council, the gathered members collapsed, only to get back up. Milly looked down at her body, and wondered idly why she didn't need padding anymore, or why her skin wasn't so pale. Rivalz wondered why he was male, while Nina wondered why she was female…and when they saw their now heterochromic eyes in the mirror, they'd be even more confused. And Shirley found herself wondering whether she could get a maid outfit and something to eat…well, someone…

* * *

In the rooms of Lelouch Lamperouge, Nunnally opened her eyes for the first time in years. Insects gathered around her. "Oh! I'm cute! And I don't even need a mask!" she chirped as she looked in a polished silver plate.

Sayoko blinked, before peering at her now elongated fingers, electricity crackling around them…

* * *

As he was carried away on a stretcher, Suzaku dreamed of a cold lake that was home, and of having four arms to fight with…

* * *

Lloyd Asplund found his head filled with wonderful tortures he could inflict, in the name of science, while Cecile Croomy found herself forced to catch her own head when it fell off her shoulders…

* * *

Inside the Camelot trailer, the Lancelot dreamed dreams of adorable animals, squeeing in an adorable monotone…

* * *

In the ruined ghetto of Shinjuku, Tamaki frowned, suddenly having ambitions to take over the Great Tomb of Nazarick…

* * *

In an opulent and ornate chamber deep underground Shinjuku, a blank face, with only a triptych of holes for eyes and a mouth, seemed to nonetheless hold surprise and anticipation. " _Mein Gott has come back!_ " he shrieked in a German accent. "Hurry back, Lord Momonga! _SCHNELL!_ "

* * *

Lelouch vi Britannia nearly drowned in the flood of memories. For a time, he was torn between two lives, three personas. But while Satoru Suzuki had been a downtrodden salaryman in the 22nd Century, this new life had honed him into something more.

Lelouch had thought those dreams to be nightmares of a world turned into poisoned greyness, consumed by an evil even more insidious than Britannia, one where the masses were pacified by Dive-MMORPGs. But now, he knew with conviction that they had been memories, fragments from a past life.

He stood, and glared at the man who had murdered his friend Suzaku, had killed this mysterious green-haired woman, and who was intending to kill him. Some part of him activated Aura of Despair I. As the gathered men before him stared at him in horror, unable to understand the feeling of dread they felt emanating from the boy they were confronting (more than a few pissing themselves, judging by the darkening patches on their trousers), Lelouch said, coldly, "Tell me…how should a Britannian who despises his own country conduct himself?"

"…Are-are-are you s-s-s-some k-k-kind of radical?" the leader stammered out. He looked like he was on the verge of a heart attack.

"What's the matter?" Lelouch demanded. "I'm just a schoolboy, right? Or is it because you now understand that those who kill must be prepared to be killed in their turn? You wanted a massacre? _You'll get one(_ _3)_." A power seemed to well up within his left eye, and he yelled, " _I, Lelouch vi Britannia, order you to stand still, and accept your fate!_ "

"Yes, Your Highness!" the captain said, he and his men standing to attention. Faint red glows appeared in their eyes.

Lelouch turned to one, and reached out, activating a skill by instinct. " _Grasp Heart_ ," he intoned, feeling a pulsing organ within his hand…and crushed it. That soldier collapsed with a gurgle, blood spurting from his mouth.

 _Hmm, Ninth Tier Magic does seem a bit of overkill_ , he mused. He pointed to another, and used Dragon Lightning on another, turning him instantly into a crisp. A weak Fifth-Tier spell like that, and it killed him so readily?

Tiring of this game, he commanded, "All of you, _DIE!_ "

"At once!" the captain barked, before taking his sidearm, and pressing it to his head, before shooting. The others followed suit.

Part of him recoiled with horror, but the other part smirked inwardly. Lelouch vi Britannia had been looking for a way to destroy the Britannia of his father, Emperor Charles zi Britannia. Satoru Suzuki had been a powerless drone. But Momonga had, somehow, supplied this amalgamation with power…with another part supplied by that green-haired girl.

 _Yes_ … Lelouch though with a grin. _With this power, I can take on Britannia, and win_ …

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Lelouch is actually a reincarnated Satoru Suzuki, aka Momonga, aka Ainz Ooal Gown. And it seems that he's not the only one reincarnated…and CC may have doomed the world. Well, as long as she can eat pizza while watching the world burn, I think she wouldn't mind so much.**

 **Now, there's a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, Momonga was 'killed' when the** ** _Yggdrasil_** **shutdown occurred, and his soul, along with that of the NPCs (for the most part) ended up reincarnated in the** ** _Code Geass_** **-verse. However, the Tomb of Nazarick did get physically transported to the** ** _Code Geass_** **-verse.**

 **Secondly, this version of Lelouch is not as smart as the one in the original** ** _Code Geass_** **. He will be closer to Momonga in some regards, though Momonga himself is still pretty smart. However, this version of Lelouch/Momonga is actually more moral, and, due to the various NPCs having lived human lives (for the most part: yes, Shizu Delta IS the Lancelot), they will be…I hesitate to say less evil, but they at least have enough perspective to understand the need for caution, even the ones who are very evil. Albedo and Shalltear are still obsessed with banging Momonga, true (and given that Momonga actually has a flesh and blood body, not to mention a penis, they have a better chance of succeeding), and Albedo will still think of humans as insects, but both will have humans that they have soft spots for.**

 **Thirdly, they will eventually gain the ability to change back and forth between their current forms, and those as their forms in** ** _Ygdrassil_** **.**

 **Now,** ** _Overlord_** **characters are OP as fuck, as anyone familiar with the series or the light novels should know. Much of the story will be about how they cope with their new situation, as well as strategizing.**

 **1\. I was sort of inspired by Frieza's character in** ** _Dragonball Z Abridged_** **(yes, I know they say it's spelled Freeza in the Abridged Series, but I'm so used to the dub spelling, so any weeaboos who take issue: bite me) when he claims that he has heard heroic speeches so often, he makes a mental tally of certain lines. Given CC's immortality, I reckon she does the same thing for how many times she's died a certain way.**

 **2\. This is a reference to a similar joke in** ** _8-Bit Theater_** **(which, of course, made the joke as a reference to the first** ** _Star Wars_** **film).**

 **3\. I took these lines from the dub of** ** _Overlord_** **, which I think, in some regards of dialogue, is an improvement over the original Japanese.**


	32. Plenipotent Player Prince Chapter 2

**I was astonished at the response this got. And I was astonished at how quickly I managed to get a second chapter done. So...here it is.**

 **Before I go on, the guest reviewer whose reviews sparked off this idea responded, so I've got to respond to them. Regarding Shizu...yeah, I'm definitely not going to make any truly disturbing paraphilic jokes. There might be jokes along the lines of, well, things like EDI from _Mass Effect_ or Sheila from _Red vs Blue_...and there's also the 'Melding' joke from Gregg Landsman's _Evangelion/Mass Effect_ crossover _The Long Night of the Harvest_ (basically, Asari equate synching with Evangelions to Melding...which is Asari mind-sex, to put it crudely...and considering that Shinji syncs with his mother in EVA Unit 01...yeah), but at best, it'll probably equate to Shizu warning Suzaku to be gentle with her...and eventually only wanting Suzaku 'inside her', leading to all sorts of humour. She'll have a normal holographic avatar eventually, perhaps even a gynoid proxy body. Remember, ships having female avatars is a pretty old concept. Ann McCaffrey did it with her Ships series, _Doctor Who_ has done it with the TARDIS a few times...hmm, should we have Shizu getting jealous of Euphie?**

 **Also, keep in mind that Albedo and Shalltear are canonically amenable to a harem from the very first book/Episode 2 (after a spat, anyway), and their later disputes are more about who'd be the head wife. Given Shalltear's canonical appearance, it'd be more likely that Momonga would make Albedo the head wife...if he was capable of actually coupling with her. Being an 8-foot tall skeleton man does, ironically, harm his chances of...'ahem'... _boning_ her. That being said, for now, the harem is basically Lelouch/Kallen/CC/Milly/Shirley, or Momonga/Albedo/CC/Shalltear/Solution, depending on the perspective. I'll decide on further additions to the harem, as well as other pairings, later.**

* * *

 _ **PLENIPOTENT PLAYER PRINCE**_

 **CHAPTER 2:**

 **FRATRICIDE**

Lelouch didn't have much time to consider what he had done, or what he was going to do, before a Sutherland burst into the warehouse he was in. " _Oh, what's this,_ su?" cooed a voice from the external speakers. " _A naughty schoolboy skiving off…wait a moment._ " The Knightmare seemed to scrutinise him, before it knelt on one knee. " _Lord Momonga! I have found you!_ "

Lelouch stared at the Knightmare in shock. Eventually, he said, "How do you know that name?"

" _Oh, that's right! I look very different_ , su!" The cockpit of the Knightmare Frame opened up, and a dark-skinned woman with silvery blue hair and an athletic frame hopped out. As she did so, she held out a hand, and a massive staff…no, an elaborate and very familiar crozier appeared.

And Lelouch realised that he knew who this was immediately. Not just because of the crozier, but something within him was telling him who this woman was, or rather, who she had been. Back in _Yggdrasil_. Specifically, an NPC, one of the Pleiades battle maids. Somehow, the impossibility of this seemed to take a backseat. After all, he had somehow been reincarnated in another world, why not an NPC?

"Lupusregina Beta…" he murmured. "You look…different." Which was an understatement. The skin tone wasn't dissimilar, though the battle maid skin was originally more like a tan, and her eyes were the same golden colour, despite the different shape. But her body was more slender, even as the athletic nature of her body was apparent, and her hair was no longer red and done up in twin pigtails.

"The same could be said for you, Lord Momonga," Lupusregina said, strutting over, and kneeling. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I love the awe-inspiring aura of power when you look like an overlord, but I've gotta say, you look kind of hot as a human, _su_. If you don't mind me saying such things, Lord Momonga."

"…No. You look beautiful yourself," Lelouch said, gesturing for her to stand up. "And call me Lelouch for now."

"Then call me Villetta Nu. That's the name I got as a human."

"Very well. Villetta, report. What have you been told to do in this ghetto?"

"That fool Clovis has ordered us to wipe out the humans within the ghetto," Lupusregina said with a shrug. "He claims those foolish rebels stole poison gas."

Lelouch looked over at the green-haired girl who had granted him not only that strange compulsion ability, one he was sure he didn't have before, but also returned his memories. "There was no poison gas, just that girl. Though why they want her…"

"Hmm, maybe Prince Clovis has a BDSM kink?" Lupusregina remarked, walking over to the girl and kneeling down next to her. The werewolf Pleiade frowned. "Hmm…this wound…it's healing, Lord Mo…I mean, Lelouch. It seems that this girl cannot die from a bullet. Still, what are your orders, Lelouch?"

Lelouch considered this. Both Lelouch and the man who was Satoru Suzuki were horrified at this massacre, and knew the best way to stop was to deal with Clovis. He could go and help the terrorists achieve victory through basically owning Clovis, the shitty strategist…

…Or, he could take a leaf out of the Iliad. Namely, the part with the Trojan Horse.

"Villetta," he said, using the human name of Lupusregina. "Do you know of any others who came here? The other NPCs?"

"Do you mean the Floor Guardians and my fellow Pleiades?" Lupusregina asked. "No, but…I think they are here. I think my superior, Margrave Jeremiah Gottwald, is actually Sebas Tian."

Lelouch frowned. Could he communicate using Message, then? He tried it. _Hello? Can anyone hear me?_

A few seconds later, he got a veritable cacophony of voices, all of which pretty much amounted to, _Lord Momonga?! Is that you?!_

He winced at the volume. _Yes, it's me. Listen to me, all of you. For now, I am working to stop the conflict in Shinjuku. Any further communication will be limited until I have resolved this issue. Lupusregina Beta is with me. I will be stopping this massacre._

 _Lord Momonga, this is Sebas. If I may ask, who is Lupusregina Beta reincarnated as?_

 _Villetta Nu. Are you Margrave Jeremiah Gottwald, as she suspected?_

 _Indeed. And…I find myself troubled by being ordered to kill innocents, and at how readily I agreed before I regained my memories. I will submit to any punishment you deem fit to expurgate my dishonour, my lord, but I am currently fighting someone in a red Glasgow, though, and_ …

A girl's voice broke through. _What? You are fighting me, Sebas?! You dare try to oppose the Captain of the Floor Guardians?!_

 _Albedo?!_ Sebas' voice all but yelped in surprise. Lelouch felt he needed to intervene.

 _Settle down, you two. Sebas, Albedo, continue to battle to the best of your abilities for show, but if either of you happen to squash any Britannian soldiers during the fighting…I don't care. But keep the civilians out of it. I'm going with Lupusregina Beta to stop the fighting. How many of you are actually within the fighting zone?_

 _I too am in the battle zone, Lord Momonga. It is I, Eclair Eklair Eklare._

 _Oh God_ , Lelouch thought. _It's the damn ambitious penguin janitor_.

Before he could reply, a lilting, unctuous voice spoke. _Lord Momonga, it is I, Demiurge. I have Yuri Alpha with me, and you may know us better as Earl Lloyd Asplund, and his assistant Cecile Croomy. We have one Suzaku Kururugi, and while he is unconscious, I am sure he is Cocytus. We are currently in a trailer on the edges of the battlefield._

 _And I am also in the trailer_ , spoke a monotone voice of a girl, breaking through Lelouch's relief that Suzaku was still alive.

… _Shizu Delta, are you the Lancelot?_ Demiurge's voice asked.

 _Yes_.

Lelouch sighed. _Stand by for now. Anyone capable of both disguises and using Gate magic to head to the ghetto?_

 _I can, my lord_. That sounded like Milly's voice. _It's Shalltear, Lord Momonga. If I use my Valkyrie armour, I can disguise myself, and if I use my Pipette Lance, I can avoid the Blood Frenzy._

 _Good. Because I only want you to target the Britannian soldiers_. Lelouch looked at the corpses present, and smirked. _And I've got an idea. Everyone else, sit tight for now. Sebas, Albedo, keep putting on your show_. With that, and the chorus of acknowledgements, Lelouch prepared to try out some more magic. "Create Undead: Death Knight," he intoned.

Lelouch grimaced when one of the corpses spasmed, dark liquid flowing out of its orifices and reshaping it. "Ugh, it didn't do this in _Yggdrasil!_ "

"It's a gameplay mechanic transferred over into reality, boy. Did you expect it to work like that?"

Lelouch stifled the reaction he initially had, and turned to see the girl who gave him Geass sitting up, no bullet wound on her head. "How did…?"

"I saw everything, Lelouch vi Britannia…or would you prefer Satoru Suzuki, or Momonga?"

"Hmm, you're getting mighty familiar with Lord Momonga, _su_ ," Lupusregina said with a smirk.

"Villetta…" Lelouch then looked at the girl. "Call me Lelouch for now. I have enough problems to deal with without having to worry about an identity crisis. What name would you prefer?"

"CC," the girl said, pronouncing it 'cee-two', though he somehow knew it was spelled like 'cee-cee'.

"Well, CC, thank you for unlocking my power. And, it seems, the memories of my allies." Turning back to the Death Knight, which had fully taken form. "Death Knight. Attack all soldiers wearing that uniform. Allow no unarmed combatants to come to any harm, and don't attack any armed fighters not wearing that uniform. Should you be attacked by any variations of that Sutherland, disable them by attacking the leg joints. Go."

The Death Knight roared, and then charged out of the warehouse. Lupusregina frowned. "Isn't a Death Knight more of a defensive monster?"

"Maybe…but we have another task." He turned back to CC. "If you were in that so-called 'poison gas' capsule, then that means Clovis is willing to kill to keep you secret. I'm guessing human experimentation was involved. Maybe to find out why you're immortal? So, tell me, CC…how would you like to be there when I rape his mind and make him die a slow painful death?"

CC, after a moment, smirked. "It would be a pleasure."

"Lord Momonga, if you seem set on helping these humans, I can help. A train filled with Sutherlands is being sent into Shinjuku to resupply the military there," Lupusregina said, with her own smirk.

"Hmm. A good point…"

* * *

The plan was fiendishly simple. Lupusregina, under her human identity as Villetta, was going to contact Clovis. She was going to notify him to speak on a private comms with nobody else overhearing, and once she did so, she would tell him that a Britannian schoolboy had stumbled across CC. Said schoolboy had claimed a relation with the royal family, so Villetta was bringing him to Clovis to make sure.

Lelouch would then don the uniform of one of the Britannian soldiers as a disguise. He would use the Geass to remove the memory of those present of seeing him, Villetta or CC there, as well as erase any electronic recordings, not to mention anything Clovis let slip. Once there, they would force Clovis to order a ceasefire, and then Lelouch would interrogate Clovis about his mother's death, and what he wanted CC for.

And then, he intended a spectacular finale.

All of which led to him, Lupusregina and CC now standing in the mobile command centre, Lupusregina keeping CC restrained. The ride over had been…interesting, what with three people crammed into a Sutherland, though Lupusregina didn't seem to mind. In fact, she seemed to relish her lord groping her. He'd forgotten that Lupusregina was supposed to be a bit of a lascivious sort. Peroroncino, surprisingly, hadn't been the one to create her.

The NPCs were now people, he realised. It sounded insane, it probably was insane…but if this was a dream or a delirium, he didn't want to wake up. This world may be a crappy one, but it was better than the one he left. He had no living relatives, no friends aside from those he made in _Yggdrasil_ , and he didn't really have any advancement prospects for his job. Here, he had Nunnally at least, and friends. And the world wasn't a polluted wreck.

But it didn't mean he still couldn't have some fun.

Which was why he savoured the look of shock on Clovis' face when Lelouch removed his helmet, and revealed his face. "Lelouch? You're alive?"

"Unfortunately. For you, anyway," Lelouch said coldly. He then activated his Geass. "Order a ceasefire at once. Then await my further instructions."

Clovis obeyed, and once the ceasefire was ordered, Lelouch approached his older brother. "Tell me, who murdered my mother?"

"Prince Schneizel and Princess Cornelia may know," Clovis replied in an eerie monotone.

"Were they the ones responsible, or do they just have information?" Lelouch demanded.

"I do not know if they are responsible. But Cornelia was responsible for the guard detail and thus its removal. And Schneizel was ordered to move the body somewhere."

"Hmm. Do you have any information on the project you used to experiment on CC?"

"No, the information was kept in a secret site. I do not know where, but General Bartley Aspirius will know."

 _Another thing to consider_ , Lelouch thought, before saying, "Do you regret the deaths you caused?"

"No, they were Elevens. I thought them responsible for your deaths. And even if they weren't, they are just Numbers."

"And what you did to CC?"

"She was a stepping stone to remaining on the throne forever."

Lelouch's face twisted in anger. "I release you." As the faint red glow vanished from Clovis' eyes, Lelouch glared at Clovis in contempt. "I've heard enough. Lupusregina Beta…can you beat him up so that he is paralysed, mute, and in a lot of pain?"

"Of course, Lord Momonga," the reincarnated werewolf maid purred.

As she advanced, Clovis shrieked, "Wait, wait! Lelouch, don't do this! I can take you back home! We can be happy!"

"Happy?" Lelouch said, gesturing Lupusregina to halt. "You murdered innocent people who hadn't so much as picked up a weapon against Britannia. You performed human experimentation, and on someone who wouldn't even have the mercy of death. My father discarded myself and Nunnally all because I dared to call him out on his refusal to bring my mother's murderers to justice. He invaded this country, knowing full well that we would be killed, either by the Japanese or the Britannians. My sister is a blind cripple, one who, by my father's reckoning, should be left by the wayside to die."

"We may not share the same mother, but we're still blood!" Clovis wailed. "You can't kill me!"

"You can't change the world without getting your hands dirty. Lupusregina…do it."

* * *

By the time Lupusregina was done, Clovis was little more than barely-conscious burger meat, lacking most of his teeth, an eye, much of his blood, and more than a few appendages. He was kept alive by Lupusregina's own healing skills, and then left to moan in pain, before they left the mobile HQ, and made for the Sutherland Viletta had used. Once inside, Lelouch remarked, "I wish we could play the 1812 Overture."

"Why?" CC asked. "Thinking of some fireworks, boy?"

"You could say that," Lelouch said, before he activated the spell he intended to use, azure magical circles surrounding him within the cockpit. In a lecturing tone, he remarked, "Super-Tier Magic in _Yggdrasil_ was amongst the most powerful, but utilising it is tricky, as it forces the allies of the one who uses it to be unable to use spells for a short period. It also takes a long time to activate, and a long time before it can be used again, so its usefulness is limited. But…I am making a statement. To the Floor Guardians and other NPCs of Nazarick, it is a greeting. To Britannia, especially my father, it is a shot across the bow, a warning that their time has come. And to the Japanese, this will be the first light of hope. This spell should also erase any evidence we were there. Lupusregina, are you recording this?"

"Yes."

"Hmm. Well, the spell is ready. Let's light the spark. _SUPER-TIER MAGIC:_ _ **FALLEN DOWN!**_ "

A pillar of light appeared, centred on the mobile HQ, only to rapidly grow, swallowing the mobile HQ and many of the troops surrounding it in a boiling blast of actinic light. It lasted for all of five seconds, but it felt like an eternity. And when the light faded away…what was left was devastation. There was a massive crater in the road, and what rubble from surrounding buildings that remained had either charred marks or even glassy sheens.

CC stared in shock. Lupusregina was squirming in ecstasy. And Lelouch looked on with grim satisfaction. Eventually, the green-haired immortal looked at Lelouch, and remarked, "A bit conspicuous, wasn't that?"

"True. But all good fireworks displays are. Did you enjoy that?"

CC considered her answer for a time, before a smirk touched her lips. "Yes. But you know that's not the end of it, boy?"

"No. It's only the beginning…"

 **CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Lelouch has met the first of his minions, and CC. Oh, and has given Clovis a fitting send-off.**

 **If you're thinking that using Fallen Down is a bit OOC for Lelouch, keep in mind there's a few factors involved. This Lelouch has a lot of Satoru Suzuki, and as thoughtful as the latter is, he also hasn't become the mask of Momonga/Ainz yet. He hasn't had the lich-related emotion suppression, and he still retains more of his empathy, a heady combination. Clovis' massacre of the people angered him far more than it would have if he was the canon versions of Momonga or Lelouch. Satoru Suzuki actually has quite a lot of anger and resentment issues (his job, the perception that his friends abandoned the Tomb of Nazarick, etc), and combined with the fact that he still looks up to Touch Me's example means that he will punish those he thinks deserves it.**

 **He chose Fallen Down for a variety of reasons. He wanted to test the limits of his power. He wanted Clovis' death to be a spectacular statement. And he wanted to erase the evidence that he and the others were there. Keep in mind, nuclear weapons are yet to be a thing, at least until Nina comes along with FLEIJA. Fallen Down may not be quite a nuke, but it has much the same effect in a confined area.**

 **No numbered annotations this time.**


	33. Miss Kaede and Mr Hyde Chapter 1

**This has got to be one of my stranger ideas. Then again, I'm genuinely surprised that nobody has tried it. I'm basing it on a challenge I recently posted.**

 **I am talking about a crossover between _Elfen Lied_...and _Jekyll_.**

 **Now, for those of you who don't know, _Jekyll_ was a BBC TV series starring James Nesbitt as Tom Jackman, a scientist who starts developing an aggressive split personality that is later named Hyde. In fact, the Jekyll and Hyde story not only exists in the universe of the show, but was based on real events, as revealed in a later episode, with Jackman a descendant of one of Hyde's illegitimate offspring. The series was written by Steven Moffat a couple of years before he took over as showrunner on _Doctor Who_ , and there's even a few lines that may sound familiar to fans of that show. One of the biggest draws of the series was how they portrayed Hyde, less as an ultra-strong monster, and more as a childish psychopath, albeit one who shows himself to be more inclined to help Jackman's estranged family than Jackman thought. His appearance is only subtly different too, with the main difference between him and Jackman being his behaviour. It's a brilliant series, and one I recommend.**

 **Now, given that _Elfen Lied_ does revolve around an alternate personality, I thought it'd be an interesting mesh. My original thought was to do another Potterverse crossover with a Harry/Lucy pairing again, but with Harry taking Kohta's place. I had even considered giving Harry a split personality. But then, I had a thought: what if _Kohta_ was like Jackman? What if he had his own Hyde? Would that mean that he is able to empathise with Kaede more?**

 **I decided to plan that Hyde has been within Kohta from a young age, and that, thanks to Kaede sensing a similar predator within Kohta and Kohta telling the truth about Yuka, the massacre that traumatises Kohta doesn't happen...though he has enough problems of his own. And unlike Jackman, Kohta is a little more likely to let Hyde off the leash, albeit under special circumstances...so, Mayu's so-called parents are fucked.**

 **The pairing for this story will be Kohta/Yuka/Kaede, or rather, Kohta/Yuka/Kaede/Hyde/Nyu. Five personalities, three bodies, one hell of a love polygon!**

 **Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

 _ **MISS KAEDE AND MR HYDE**_

 **CHAPTER 1:**

 **REUNION**

Kamakura. Once the capital of Japan centuries ago, now a somewhat quiet seaside city, a tourist trap, noted for its religious sites and festivals. It was the last place you would expect events that would shape the future and destiny of humanity to take place.

And yet, they did.

On a daily basis, on an island off the Kamakura coast, a struggle had been taking place, a struggle between two species, a struggle against extinction, a struggle between the old and the new, one where the trappings of humanity were discarded and inhumanity was inflicted, seemingly without any true purpose but gratuitous cruelty. It was a struggle where the saying _Homo homini lupus est_ held sway. And now, this struggle had just escalated.

It starts with a chamber containing a figure restrained in a straitjacket, wearing a strange helmet. Guards are slaughtered left and right by unseen forces, some willing participants in the cruelty, others just people doing a dark job. The figure, now divested of their straitjacket, and revealing themselves to be a young woman, apparently in her late teens, walked through the facility, uncaring about her current nudity, merely humming a tune to herself.

The young woman cut a bloody swathe of destruction through the facility, invisible forces slashing her quarry into bloody shreds, blocking bullets. Sometimes, her killings were brutally efficient, and other times, they seemed to be calculatingly sadistic. Indeed, of those who crossed her path, only the author of her torment was left alive, unmarked save for a bloody handprint pressed onto his back, despite the fact that she never touched him with her hands. It was an affirmation of an earlier promise, no, a solemn vow made in anger and hatred.

Then, the young woman manages to escape the facility, not knowing that she was assisted by a traitor who nonetheless didn't have her best interests in mind. She walked to the edge of a cliff, watching the reflection of the Moon in the ocean below. She marvelled in its beauty, one of the few truly beautiful things about this world, even as another part of her mind began wondering exactly how she'd get down to the ocean.

An instinct warned her, and she turned her head in time for an explosion of pain to erupt in her temple, shattering the helmet. She felt part of her mind fragment. The part still capable of lucid thought remarked, _Anti-tank round. Lucky I turned and had my Vectors up on instinct. Still, this is unpleasant_.

She was, after all, falling down a cliff, uncontrollably, and about to hit the water with quite a bit of force. Using her powers, she managed to slow her descent a fraction, but it was enough. A plume of water erupted as she hit it, nearly being rendered unconscious immediately. Just enough of her remained conscious to right herself, so that, when she floated to shore (she hoped), she'd still be alive.

Before darkness finally consumed her, her last thought was, _Kohta…I'm coming_ …

* * *

Kohta Okamoto(1) groaned as he staggered into the kitchen of the Maple Inn, getting a drink of water and some paracetamol. As he swallowed the capsules and washed them down, he heard the door to the kitchen slide open, and looked over at the newcomer, his cousin Yuka. "Hi," he said, before wincing.

"Hi." The brown-haired young woman went up to him and peered at his eyes. "You're really hungover, aren't you?"

"Which is bloody irritating, considering I didn't actually do the drinking," Kohta said. "I swear, he takes me out drinking purely to get me hungover. It's bad for my brain, bad for my wallet…not that he cares."

"Maybe you should seek help."

"Are you trying to be funny?"

"He's been around since you were a kid. We've had time to get used to him, but…maybe we need to bring him along to, well, an AA meeting? Stage an intervention?"

Kohta laughed, a cracked, braying sound. "Yeah, like that's going to happen. He'd probably spend the meeting mocking everyone present and challenging them to a drinking contest, just for fun. Still, he says that, once we start university, he'll cut back on it." Kohta looked wistfully at a picture. It appeared to be of Kohta, Yuka, and two other girls, one with dark hair, the other with pink hair and red eyes, wearing a beanie. "Yuka…what do you think happened to Kaede after that night?"

Yuka shrugged. "I don't know. There was something…not quite right about her, Kohta, and I'm not just talking about those horns of hers. She looked so unhappy when she left. Then again, that orphanage you found her near shut down after those murders. Maybe she had been there, and was being forced out. Poor girl, probably couldn't be adopted because of those horns." She then frowned, thoughtfully. "Did he leave any messages for you?"

Kohta winced, before hurriedly plucking a slender rectangle from his pocket, and pressing a button on it. The voice that emanated from the dictaphone sounded eerily like Kohta's, and yet, was not. It had something like a Kansai accent(2), and a childish demeanour, albeit one with layers of malice underneath. " _Did you like my early morning present, Daddy? Just a little celebration before you go off to boring university. A shame Yuka was asleep when I got home, you'd have felt much better in the morning, and Yuka wouldn't be able to walk straight. But, well, I prefer my women willing and awake._ "

Both Kohta and Yuka blushed heavily. But any remarks they would have made were cut off when the voice started up again, only more solemn and contemplative. " _I walked along the beach last night, Daddy. And I could smell something in the air, from the breeze that blew off the sea. I could smell blood, so much blood, and gunsmoke. The smells of_ _ **violence**_ _, Daddy. They came from the sea. Now, isn't that interesting? But do you know what else I smelt, Daddy? Faintly, almost overwhelmed by blood and gunsmoke? I could smell_ _ **her**_ _, Daddy. Ever so faintly, but it's more than what I have smelled for years. And while this ain't proof that she's back…I_ _ **know**_ _she is. I've got a gut feeling._ "

The chill that followed that remark was promptly dispelled by a belch from the dictaphone. " _Oh! 'Scuse me. Hope you don't mind that I had Chinese, I know it repeats on me, but I couldn't resist. Anyway, I've got the feeling interesting times lie ahead. And I mean that in the cursed sense of the term. Cheerio!_ "

Kohta and Yuka, his cousin, co-student, and even lover, looked at each other. Their relationship had, admittedly, been a somewhat trying one, with Yuka struggling to get over her hair-trigger jealousy response, and Kohta dealing with…well, not so much issues as much as a subscription. It was these issues that led him to distance himself from his family: they supported him and all, but he knew Kanae was frightened of him. Even though she knew that he, and the one behind the other voice on the dictaphone, would never hurt her.

Actually, no. She was not frightened of him, of them…but frightened FOR him.

Yuka, however, had become his rock. After graduating high school, she had helped him negotiate with her mother to have him become the caretaker of the Maple Inn, a former restaurant turned boarding house. He actually liked that…because of the name. Maple. Or rather, Kaede. Like _her_ name.

Yuka knew he pined for her, for Kaede, the strange, sad girl with the horns. The girl they had tried to make happy, that they both had tried to make happy. Yuka had been jealous, true…but when she was told of how sad and lonely Kaede was, she decided to let her join the fun. True, something about the girl seemed off somehow. But by that point, she knew that her cousin was off as well. She'd had come to terms with the fact that she might have to share him, albeit with one other, and ONLY one other. She would not countenance Kohta bringing home any other hussy.

After a moment, it was Yuka who said, "How about we check out the beach?"

"Really?"

"Stuff gets washed ashore all the time. Plus…might as well get this over and done with, right? I know you'd want to go there, just in case. But…why would Kaede be associated with blood and gunsmoke?"

"I don't know," Kohta said quietly. "But it can't be good…"

* * *

"Remember when Kanae found that beautiful seashell?" Yuka asked as they walked across the sand, having made it to the beach.

Kohta smiled wistfully at the memory. "Yeah, I remember. She gave it to me when I left, as something to remember her by. I don't know why, we've still got phones. And it's her shell."

"I think it's because _he_ thought it pretty as well. She gave it to _him_ as much as you, because…well, as much as he scares her and your father, she loves him all the same, because she knows that he would never hurt her."

"She's his sister as much as I am," Kohta said. "And in any case, if he ever did anything to hurt her…well, he knows the deal. He knows the rules. The only time I ever let him off the leash was when that bastard tried to rape you."

"I know. I was there. I still have nightmares about it. It's the main reason I tolerate him. He's even likeable after a fashion. But…the police hadn't seen such a brutal attack since _Kaze no Kaede_. Only the man's record and that lawyer ensured we didn't get into trouble…Kohta, look!"

Yuka pointed, and Kohta saw, to his astonishment…the very person they were looking for.

She was about their ages, maybe eighteen, and wholly naked, standing in the nearby surf. Her slender, beautiful body was bare to the world. Her posture was hunched, her hair falling lankly around her face, concealing it partly like some parody of an _onryo_ or vengeful ghost. Blood from a wound on her head trickled down her face.

And yet, there were more bizarre things to her than just her nudity. Her hair was a bright shade of pink. Her eyes were crimson. And protruding from her temples were what looked like cat ears, but which both Kohta and Yuka knew were actually horns.

"…Kaede?" Kohta asked as he ran over. "Is that you?"

The crimson eyes sharpened, and then widened in recognition. "…Kohta? You're here…" And then, suddenly, she convulsed, clutching her head, crying out in pain. Then, when she spoke again…it wasn't even a word.

"Nyu?"

Her expression had changed utterly. In fact, though the physiognomy was the same, it was as if it was a different person wearing the same face. The expression was infantile, with fear.

"…That just happened," Yuka remarked, peering at Kaede, before she winced. "Kohta, quickly, your shirt!"

Kohta swiftly pulled off his clothes, before giving Yuka his shirt. She promptly gave it to Kaede, and put it onto her. After being buttoned up, she now looked decent. Yuka and Kohta looked at each other, and an unspoken agreement passed between them. The whole time, the only syllable Kaede uttered, since her seizure or whatever it was, was 'Nyu'. That, and crying like a baby.

So, between the two of them, they took her home…

* * *

Taking her home wasn't without its own trials and travails. Shortly thereafter, Kaede seemed to be in pain and distress, before sagging to her knees, and urinating on the floor, something Kohta promptly cleaned up. Yuka decided to bathe Kaede and dress her in spare clothes.

As they watched Kaede messily eat an _onigiri_ , Yuka frowned. "She spoke earlier, just before she had that episode. She recognised you. And then…well, now she's regressed into this infantile state. What do you think happened?"

"…That wound on her head. Maybe it caused some sort of brain trauma. I think the Kaede we knew is still in there, but…"

"She's created another personality due to head trauma?" Yuka asked, catching onto what he meant. "That sounds farfetched." Noticing Kohta's unimpressed look, she said, "Look, I know, our situation is pretty farfetched too. I've done a lot of reading, and, well…in cases like this, I don't think it's neurological trauma that causes a split personality. Psychological trauma, yes, but…"

"I don't think it's a normal case, any more than **_he_** is," Kohta said. "And besides…she has horns. Her brain may not be wired up the same way as normal people."

"Nyu! Nyu!" chirped Kaede after finishing the _onigiri_.

"…He's interested, you know," Kohta confessed. "We don't always share awareness, but I think he wants to try."

"That could be a disaster. Anyway, why was Kaede naked? How did she get that wound?"

"I don't know. And that worries me as much as it worries you, I'm sure." Kohta winced, his blue eyes briefly seeming to turn black, before he shuddered. "He's coming."

"Right…just leave him a message."

Kohta nodded, before taking out the dictaphone. "Kaede is here. However, she seems to have an alternate personality, one that's on display now. Do _not_ hurt her. Do _not_ scare her. Try to draw out Kaede, but _gently_."

As he slumped, seemingly into unconsciousness, a curious Nyu plucked the dictaphone from his hand, and replayed the message. "Nyu?" And then, she looked up, and recoiled. Yuka was less startled by the transformation, having seen it enough times.

The transformation, in terms of appearance, was relatively subtle. Kohta's blue eyes had turned dark, his hair was a bit wilder, his face had a subtly but noticeably different shape. But that was only the physical changes. Kohta seemed to hold himself differently now. A vicious grin split his features, showing more teeth than good cheer, the grin of a predator.

"Well, well, well…hello, ladies," he purred. "It's nice to see you again, Kaede…I dunno whether you remember me, but I've got a name now. Just call me… _Hyde_."

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Well…that just happened.**

 **1\. 'Okamoto' was the surname I decided on Kohta in my Potterverse crossover** ** _Children of the Revolution_** **, after** ** _Elfen Lied_** **'s author Lynn Okamoto.**

 **2\. In the original** ** _Jekyll_** **series, Hyde speaks with a very strong Irish accent. Admittedly, Jackman speaks with an Irish accent as well, but it's more pronounced in Hyde. Kansai is pretty much the only regional accent I know in Japan, so I put it in there.**


	34. Lelouch Liesmith Chapter 1

**So, this is another demented _Code Geass_ crossover I thought up on a whim. Like _Plenipotent Player Prince_ , it's another story where Lelouch is a reincarnation of a relatively OP crossover character, though unlike that story, there will be only one other reincarnation. A character will be reincarnated as Kallen. Also, this story will be Lelouch/CC/Kallen.**

 **Now, what is this a crossover with? Well, the title is a bit of a giveaway, as is the initial scene... ;)**

* * *

 _ **LELOUCH LIESMITH**_

 **CHAPTER 1:**

 **AWAKENING**

 _Always, in his nightmares, he was falling. He saw a bearded old man with an eyepatch, and a blonde-haired oaf. Father. Brother. He'd done it all for his father's approval._

 _As he looked up at his father, who was holding them, he said, desperate to make him understand, "I could have done it, Father! I could have, for you, for all of us!"_

 _The old man looked down at him with sadness, and whispered, "_ _ **No.**_ _" And with that single word, his heart broke. Because he knew his father did not appreciate what he had done, despite everything, despite all the lies the old man had told him, despite stringing him along…_

 _Yes, he himself had lied. He had betrayed his brother, technically…but he betrayed him first, along with those damnable friends of his. And in any case, it was he who was betrayed first…told lies about who and what he was._

 _So, his last act was one of despair and spite…and perhaps it was to relieve the pain. Oblivion was better than the agony of having one's heart torn from him. So, he let go of the man he once called brother, and allowed himself to fall into a maelstrom, hearing his so-called brother scream at him in agony that was very well-acted, and a quieter noise from the false father._

 _Then, a divergence. He felt himself getting ripped and torn apart, his very soul scattered on the winds. And then, a voice, coming from a woman with short, dark purple hair, a strange bird-like symbol at her neck._ _ **Not yet. Another chance, you shall have. Time moves strangely between universes, like a road built over a river, with a lifetime in one can take a couple of years in the other. But as some would think you were fated to cause Ragnarok in one realm, here, perhaps you may prevent it…**_

* * *

Lelouch's nightmares, for now, were the last thing on his mind as he hurried through the ruined building within the Shinjuku Ghetto, a green-haired young woman (or girl, it was hard to tell her age, given that she could have been in her late teens or early twenties) in tow. There were a plethora of other concerns in mind. And the day had been going so well too.

He'd finished fleecing a particularly arrogant noble of cash he didn't deserve (what did they say about fools and their money soon being parted?), when he and Rivalz were almost run off the road by a truck. Said truck then went into a construction site and crashed, and Lelouch went to try and help, only to end up falling into said truck, although he seemingly heard someone's voice speak into his head.

Now, this truck was being driven by a pair of insurgents, freedom fighters, terrorists, name your poison…oh, and speaking of poison, the rather ominous domed apparatus in the truck was apparently a poison gas container they had stolen, though one of the insurgents, a redhead girl he was almost certain was Kallen Stadtfeld (only, not sickly and weak), seemed to make it clear that they weren't going to use it. Well, for its intended purpose, anyway. Maybe-Kallen went out in a refurbished Glasgow Knightmare Frame, and Lelouch was left in the truck, only for it to crash in a subway system after it was shot at.

And then, who should come at him with a spinning kick to the face than his old friend, Suzaku Kururugi, now an Honorary Britannian working for the military? And then, the so-called poison gas capsule opened up, revealing not poison gas, but the very woman accompanying him through the building, in a straitjacket. And then, after that, Clovis' Royal Guard showed up, and told Suzaku to kill Lelouch. Suzaku refused, and thus got shot in the back for his troubles. Only a timely explosion from the cabin of the truck, presumably triggered by the driver, allowed Lelouch and the woman to get away.

But he could hear the sounds of gunshots and explosions in the distance. And he knew what that meant, especially as Clovis' Royal Guard seemed set on murdering even a Britannian caught up in this. That blonde, foppish ham whose only talent was in art was intent on wiping out everyone in the Shinjuku Ghetto to cover up his mistakes. So what was so awful that poison gas, banned by international treaty, and even his bastard of a father didn't contravene that, was chosen as the cover story?

Human experimentation? A chilling thought. Though that raised yet more questions. And he wanted to get the hell out of here so that he'd have the luxury of asking them…

* * *

"HE MUSTN'T DIE!"

The report of the gunshot was deafening in the warehouse he had ended up in. The green-haired woman's brains splattered onto his uniform as she jumped in front of the shot intended for him. Lelouch cursed Shirley for exposing him by a thoughtless phone call. Then again, he should've set it to silent once he realised he was in the middle of a battle.

"Hmmph, our orders were to bring her back alive. Seems that wasn't a state of affairs that she was comfortable with," scoffed the head of Clovis' Royal Guard. He and his men had just used this warehouse to murder a bunch of innocent people, even children, with the green-haired girl being the latest. And judging by his look, Lelouch was next. "We'll have to report that she was tortured to death by the terrorists she was captured by. How does that sound, schoolboy?"

Lelouch glared at him. He could feel his wrath stirring within him, not like a torrent of flames, but like a blizzard, cold and merciless. If only he had the power to avenge Suzaku, and this woman…and to save himself from being killed, before he could make the world one Nunnally could be happy to live in, one where the man he was forced to call father by dint of genetics didn't exist. If only he could…

Suddenly, to his astonishment, the girl's hand reached across and grabbed him, and suddenly, he was no longer in the warehouse. He was tumbling, falling through a strange void, finding himself tumbling through a strange vortex. He felt a feeling of déjà vu, like this was what happened in his nightmares. " _You don't want to die, it seems…because you have a reason to continue_ ," spoke a voice from the distance, warped and flanging, but it sounded feminine…the woman? But that was impossible, right?

A faint chuckle seemed to tell him that the woman had somehow heard his thoughts. " _When you're heading down the rabbit hole, it helps to believe a few impossible things_ ," the woman said, her outline appearing superimposed over the void, before he began seeing more unusual imagery…a pair of planets suspended in a void, a familiar bird-like marking, a legion of people with said marking, a planet that looked like Jupiter, complete with Great Red Spot, and yet, was not. " _I'm proposing a deal. In exchange for a power that will allow you to go on, to survive, the power of Geass, you will make my one wish come true. Accept this contract, and you will accept the conditions, that the Power of the King will set you apart from humanity. Tell me, is this solitude what you will bear?_ "

And then, Lelouch saw HIM. He saw Emperor Charles zi Britannia, flanked by robed followers, in some Greco-Roman structure. "…A convergence with the Ragnarok Connection? So…the legend begins anew?"

"Yes…yes!" Lelouch roared. "I ACCEPT YOUR CONTRACT!"

He got the impression of a sort of smile from the woman. " _And what is this? Hmm…this ought to make things more interesting. I never knew that you hid this kind of secret, Lelouch vi Britannia. But would giving you the Power of the King be needed? Still…either you will be the one to fulfil my wish…or perhaps you don't have to…just get ready._ "

"What do you mean, get ready?"

" _What do you get when you add over a millennium worth of memories to a seventeen year old schoolboy?_ "

Lelouch blinked, but before he could ask what she meant, there was the sensation of a pop, as if a plug had been pulled…and suddenly, a flood of memories rushed at him, sweeping him down this metaphorical landscape. He struggled to keep his head above the water, so to speak, but he was in danger of drowning. His head sank beneath the surface, and the last thing he felt before everything changed…

…Was **_remembrance_**.

* * *

The Captain of Clovis' Royal Guard was chosen for a number of qualities: he was vicious, ruthless, and utterly loyal to his liege. Fine qualities when your leader, who was not the sharpest tool in the shed labelled 'Britannian Imperial Family', wanted a massacre of worthless Numbers perpetrated. The Captain loved his job, and thought that killing that Honorary Britannian who used to be the Japanese Prime Minister's son very satisfying. Honorary Britannians were there to be cannon fodder at best.

And at worst?

 _Target practise_.

He wouldn't regret killing this stupid schoolboy either. Britannian or not, he had seen too much, and to tell the truth, he looked like a noble, and the Captain secretly despised them. Even if he knew that said boy was the son of Marianne the Flash, someone that Clovis would have actually wanted retrieved alive, he would have shot him anyway out of spite: he had known Marianne and thought her to be an uppity commoner bitch. Which was really more of a case of sour grapes: the Captain thought she slept her way to the top.

Still, the Captain was disturbed when the boy began spasming and writhing, screaming in agony as he clutched his head. He held back from shooting him, hoping that the boy would just die from whatever fit he was pitching. No such luck, really. The boy soon straightened, and then stood up. His voice, once nervous and indignant, now felt calmer, colder. It felt like the Arctic. "Ahh…so that's how it is." A chuckle wormed itself from his throat, a chuckle that escalated full-blown laughter, mad and malevolent, before he stopped himself. "I feel like a thirsty man in the desert, who had fallen through into an underground lake. Oh, you children of Midgard…so violent and uncivilised…turning on each other for the most petty of reasons. You feel so grand, stomping down on the helpless like a boot on an ant. Then again, ants don't have quarrels with the boot."

"What are you talking about?!" the Captain demanded, raising his pistol. "Have you gone mad?"

"…Actually, I've never felt saner," the schoolboy said, looking up at them with an unnerving grin. His skin and eyes turned an icy blue. "Oh? And I've somehow absorbed the power of the Casket of Ancient Winters…how interesting…"

"OPEN FIRE!" the Captain yelled, some instinct telling him that he needed to kill this monster right now. But to his astonishment, only sparks from ricochets seemed to appear on the schoolboy. They emptied their magazines into him, but all they achieved was the sound of bullets whizzing through the air like hornets.

The schoolboy seemed to sigh as many of their weapons ran dry. "Are you done with your petty, childish conniption yet?"

One of the soldiers broke then, and went to flee…only for an icicle to seemingly form itself out of mid-air, and shot through the air to spear him through the chest. "Hmm…that works," the schoolboy said. "Now, tell me…how should a Britannian who despises his country conduct himself? I ask merely for information."

The Captain could have retorted, demanding to know if he was a radical or something, but a primal fear prevented him from doing so. The monster in front of him, wearing the skin of a Britannian schoolboy, merely smirked. "Oh? Have you finally realised it? Those who kill should be prepared to be killed in their turn. Or, to put it another way, what happens when a predator realises that there is something with bigger teeth coming along?" Suddenly, a red, bird-like emblem seemed to appear in the monster's left eye. "I command you… _DIE._ "

The red bird seemed to fly right into his eyes, and the Captain suddenly knew what he had to do. His Lord had spoken, and he would obey. He hurriedly reloaded his pistol, as did his men. "HAPPILY, MY LORD!" he howled. And then, aiming his pistol at his head, he pulled the trigger. The last thing to pass through his mind was a bullet…

* * *

Villetta Nu was more than a little irritated. She hadn't found that truck with the poison gas capsule, and her superior, Jeremiah Gottwald, was having all the fun, dealing with some Eleven who was fighting him off in some dilapidated Glasgow. Amusingly, said Eleven wasn't doing a bad job. And Villetta, for all her contempt towards Numbers, could admire such skill, just like her boss.

Still, she was investigating a warehouse area that the Royal Guard were going through, and when she burst in, she found the Royal Guard, along with a bunch of Elevens, were all dead, most from gunshot wounds, though one had a massive hole in his chest. The only person left alive, standing over a green-haired girl in what looked like a straitjacket, was a Britannian teenager in the uniform of the Ashford Academy…and he looked utterly terrified. She activated her external speakers. "Boy, what happened here? And what the hell are you doing in a place like this?!"

The boy whimpered, " _Help me! I was just trying to help, but I fell into the truck, and they were terrorists, and all the shots, and…someone shot them! I barely escaped!_ " He seemed on the verge of hysterics, holding his hands up. " _Help me, for God's sake, help me!_ "

Villetta actually felt a little sorry for him. So, he ended up in that truck they were pursuing? Still, that meant he saw the poison gas capsule…and maybe that girl was a prisoner of the terrorists too? Or maybe she was a Britannian prisoner that the terrorists retrieved? "What is your name?"

" _Alan Spacer. My father's a duke. I'm sorry, my ID's in my pocket, I_ …"

"Stay where you are, Spacer. I'll be out presently to confirm your identity. Don't make any sudden moves." Still, if he was nobility, that meant Villetta had a possible opportunity for advancement out of this mess. So she deactivated her Sutherland and climbed out, keeping the key on her.

As she approached, she frowned when she saw what looked like a bird-like symbol, outlined in red energy, suddenly appear in Alan Spacer's eye. "Now, _obey me!_ "

* * *

CC had been expecting to wake up on the floor of the warehouse, not crammed with the boy she saved in the cockpit of a Knightmare Frame. Still, it was a bit more pleasant. And he only spared her a brief glance, before smirking. "Good afternoon," he said, his voice a confident purr. It held a different quality to what it had before. "My apologies for the cramped conditions, but before I left, I happened to notice that your bullet wound was shrinking, and I felt I needed some answers. Plus, it seemed rather unchivalrous to leave a young lady on the floor of a dilapidated warehouse."

CC snorted quietly. She was not young by any means, appearance aside. Then again, if what she sensed from deep within Lelouch's soul was correct, she was younger than him by a few centuries. Quite an achievement. "How kind of you. Not that I'm ungrateful, mind. Do you enjoy your new power?"

"New powers," the boy corrected. "The power you gave me, Geass…it was but the key in the door. But yes, I enjoyed it. Bending fools to my will was enjoyable. That Purist woman, I've even managed to leave as a sleeper agent, leaving a backdoor. One can never be certain when such a thing would be useful. Still, this power, while potent, has the stench of something that exacts a price. So…why did you give it to me?"

"Because I need someone to fulfil my deepest wish," CC said. Then, she admitted, "Plus, there's a part of me that likes to watch fireworks."

His eyes narrowed. "…You speak a lie of omission. You told truth then, true, but what else are you hiding?"

CC flinched. That sheer power she felt…she could feel a cold, an eternal winter settle into her bones, even as the boy's skin turned blue. Eventually, she decided to take a gamble. "I knew your mother…in this life. Lady Marianne made me promise to protect you."

The boy frowned, before he finally nodded, the blue colouration to his skin receding. "Hmm…and given your healing ability…I doubt my mother would have entrusted my fate to a girl who would have been my age or a little older…you have lived a long time, haven't you?"

"Very," CC agreed.

"My condolences," the boy said, looking at his hands. "It seems that I have regained my Frost Giant physiology, even if my physiognomy remains Lelouch vi Britannia's. Oh, I still will refer to myself like that in public, and truth be told…being Lelouch has sentimental value. Oh, that reminds me." He turned back to look at CC. "May I know my passenger and benefactor's name?"

"You may call me CC. Spelled 'Cee-Cee', pronounced 'Cee-Two'. And yours?"

"Hmm, what an odd name. But allow me to introduce myself," the boy said, grinning. "In this life, I am Lelouch Lamperouge, aka Lelouch vi Britannia…or rather, I was. But…I was…no, I AM Loki of Asgard…" His grin widened. "And I am burdened with glorious purpose…"

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Oh dear. Lelouch is Loki reborn? Welp, the** ** _Code Geass_** **universe is fucked…**

 **No numbered annotations this time.**


	35. Lelouch Liesmith Chapter 2

**Wow. I am seriously astonished at the positive feedback _Lelouch Liesmith_ garnered. So, here it is, a second chapter for you guys. But before I go on, I'd like to address one of the guest reviews: Loki's blue eyes in this story are from the Casket of Ancient Winters when he uses the powers (and not from Thanos mind-fucking him). When he uses illusions to show his standard form, he has the usual green eyes.**

 **Also, I drop some fairly heavy hints as to who Kallen is in this chapter, particularly at the end. Yes, I am aware that this character did not canonically die in the MCU, yet, but for the sake of this story, she ended up in the same predicament as Loki due to AU shenanigans.**

* * *

 _ **LELOUCH LIESMITH**_

 **CHAPTER 2:**

 **WRATH OF A FROST GIANT**

"I'll be honest," Lelouch, or rather, Loki reborn said as he watched the battle unfold. "Chess bored me. It's nothing like a real battle. The pieces can disobey, there are problems of terrain and weather, and there are logistics and materiel to consider. In any case, I had nobody willing to play with me on Asgard, aside from my par…I mean, Odin and Frigga. The last time I persuaded Thor to play, I got him in Fool's Check, and he flipped the board. Then again, for all his folly, he would be a much better opponent than Clovis. He at least knows how to lead an army, even if he was an impulsive oaf."

CC peered at the screen, smirking a little at the decimation of Clovis' forces. Lelouch had managed to bring this ragtag resistance group to a whole supply train full of Sutherlands, intended to be used for the Purists, but now were being turned against them. "Sounds like you have a lot of interesting tales to tell. What should I call you?"

"Loki in private, but in public, Lelouch."

"And that's how you introduced yourself to those rebels," CC mused. "Loki. You'll be using that as a _nom de guerre_ , no doubt."

"Of course." His eyes met her own golden orbs. He could see the weight of the centuries, the pain she had accumulated over the years, behind that gaze. "One day, I would know your true name, CC. But not now." He turned back to the monitor, and frowned. The rebel group he had helped seemed to be celebrating already, given the cheers over the radio. But he recalled something he got out of Villetta Nu while interrogating her using the Geass. Tapping into the radio feed, he said, "This is Loki. I would advise that you do not celebrate just yet. I found out from a source that Lloyd Asplund of the Japanese branch of Camelot is present nearby, and he is rumoured to have a special next-generation prototype Knightmare ready for deployment. Stay alert until we can be sure they won't deploy it."

As predicted, the male redhead with the scruffy beard and the obstreperous nature objected. Loudly. Lelouch muttered quietly to himself, "With all his bluster, he's like Volstagg without the ability to back up his boasts. However, that girl, Kallen, she's practically a Valkyrie on her steed riding into battle with just a refurbished Glasgow…I wonder what she could do with a Sutherland or a Gloucester…"

Suddenly, panicked reports came in of a gleaming white Knightmare, attacking. Lelouch caught a glimpse of it fighting the others. _It's fast, a veritable weapon embodied. What a beautifully lethal steed_ , he thought. Out loud, over the radio, he yelled, "All units, retreat! This is not a foe you can fight! Fall back to whatever boltholes you have. I'm going to go and end this."

* * *

And so he did. He had to ditch his Knightmare, and use his illusion magic to cloak himself and CC as Britannian soldiers. He headed for the mobile command centre, used Geass to force the staff on board to leave, and then held Clovis at gunpoint, forcing him to call for a ceasefire. Clovis then glared at Lelouch. "There! Satisfied?"

"Not quite."

"Then what? Shall we have a singalong, or perhaps play a game of chess?" Clovis asked.

Lelouch chuckled darkly, allowing the illusion on himself to drop. "Ah…we already have been, _dear brother_ , and you are in check."

Clovis' eyes widened, and a delighted smile spread across his face. "Lelouch? Is…is that really you? But…I thought…"

"That I was dead. You were wrong, but it was a misapprehension I wished to continue."

"…What? You wanted everyone to think that you were dead? But Lelouch, we would have welcomed you back with open arms!"

"Oh? To be used as a tool? Or are you forgetting how readily the Emperor discarded us when all I demanded was justice for my mother's murder, and for him to see Nunnally!" Lelouch snarled. "I was happy living here in Japan, and then the Emperor decided to invade! Our own forces tried to murder us, to send us to Hell to join Lady Marianne! No doubt someone within the court, even one of my own family, did the deed."

"It wasn't me, I swear to God!"

"SWEAR TO ME!" Lelouch roared, his Geass activating. "Do you know who killed my mother, or who may know about it besides the Emperor?"

Clovis went limp, his eyes shining with a red outline. "…Schneizel and Cornelia may know. I do not believe they were responsible, but Cornelia withdrew the guards around Marianne, and Schneizel was ordered to move the body," he droned.

"I see. What of the girl CC, in the so-called poison gas capsule?"

"I was shown her immortality, and wished to find a way to obtain it for myself," he said.

"And do you regret experimenting on her? Or killing those people?"

"No. Those weren't people, they were Elevens, Numbers, subhuman. And CC was but a means to an end."

"Do you have any information on the project you had CC in?"

"General Aspirius has it."

Lelouch cursed inwardly, but he was relieved that, upon recognising the balding officer, he left a backdoor into his mind. So he released Clovis. "I've heard enough. You know, I am tempted to just shoot you through the head and call it a day…but you made this young lady suffer. You murdered hundreds if not thousands to cover your arse. True, I am somewhat guilty of many worse offences, but I'm nothing if not a hypocrite, and it didn't happen in this life."

Clovis stared at him as if he was a madman. The only thing he seemed to understand was that he was about to die. "Lelouch…you can't do this! We may not have shared the same mother, but we're still blood!"

"And you murdered the Japanese, the people who showed more love to me before the invasion than anyone of my blood, save perhaps for Nunnally, Euphie and Cornelia." His skin turned blue as he gathered the energy of the Casket of Ancient Winters. "Can you feel that cold chill?" he asked conversationally. "Feel that shiver down your spine? That, Clovis, is the spectre of Death. You are a treacherous, opportunistic little egotist, and in the Christian religion, is not the deepest, darkest circle of Hell deathly cold?" With that, Loki gestured, and Clovis' body began to become encased in ice.

"Lelouch, stop! I beg you, stop!"

"No. Die cold, in pain, just like you left many Japanese when you destroyed their homes and hospitals to erect monuments to your greatness, one quality amongst many you indubitably lack! I am Loki of Asgard, a god amongst men, and you are but a mere ant, about to meet its predestined boot."

Soon, the ice covered Clovis entirely, eating into his body, vitrifying it. His mouth was twisted into a frozen grimace, mid-chatter. Lelouch didn't let up until Clovis was covered in his entirety, and even then, he kept it up for the best part of a minute, until Clovis was encased in a massive block of ice. Then, he stalked forward, and slammed his foot into it hard, shattered the ice block, and with it, Clovis. "Ant, boot," Lelouch sneered contemptuously at the remnants of his half-brother. He then turned to CC, and bowed. "Forgive me of robbing you of your much-deserved vengeance, CC, but he had offended me greatly."

The green-haired woman shook her head. "No…no, as much as I wanted to do it myself, that was very satisfying. That… _filth_ subjected me to just about every form of death imaginable, every torture the human mind can think up, all to try and unravel the secrets of my immortality." She walked daintily up to Clovis' head, severed from the neck down, still clad in a block of ice that didn't even seem like it would melt, and spat on it, the spit instantly freezing, adding to the ice. "I will have to content myself with that," she concluded.

"Excellent. I think we'll use my illusion spells to make ourselves invisible as we go out. We'll also have to see if Aspirius is still around…"

* * *

The rotund general, indeed, was, and Lelouch only spent enough time with him to confirm he could send the data. Lelouch then ordered him to, once he sent the data via untraceable means, or as untraceable as possible, commit suicide in the most painful and humiliating way Aspirius could think of, while leaving a note hinting at Clovis' crimes. Then, he and CC made their way back to Ashford Academy.

As he entered his rooms, the Japanese maid assigned to them, Sayoko, bowed, and said, "Welcome back, Master Lel…" Suddenly, her eyes narrowed, and she readied herself, kunai appearing in her hands from her sleeves. "No…you are not him. Your body language…it's different. Who are you? And who is this with you?"

Lelouch rolled his eyes. "Stand down, Sayoko." He caught a thrown kunai with contemptuous ease. "I said, stand down. I will not ask nicely again. I am Lelouch vi Britannia…but I have remembered who I was."

"Never."

The maid was promptly frozen in a block of ice. On CC's glance, Lelouch said, "I can vary how badly it affects the body. At the moment, she is merely encased in ice, with a hole over her mouth. She can breathe, and hypothermia won't affect her for some time. Unlike Clovis, I have need of her services, to look after and protect Nunnally at the very least. Now, Sayoko, I am going to let you loose. Please do not try to attack me until I've had a chance to explain everything…"

* * *

The Japanese maid and _kunoichi_ stared at Lelouch after all was said and done. "You claim to not just be Master Lelouch, but also a reincarnation of Loki, the Norse deity, only, you were actually what we would call an alien, albeit with superhuman strength. Somehow, your memories and abilities were reawakened by this woman, CC, when she gave you this…Geass."

"Indeed. I know how loyal you are to Nunnally and I, which is why I froze you non-lethally instead of killing you. My story is certainly hard to believe, but…here I am. I could use Geass to enforce that loyalty…but I wanted to give you a chance first, given your years of service to us."

Sayoko frowned. "An unbelievable tale…and yet, despite your namesake's appellation of Liesmith, I find myself believing it, or at least your devotion to your sister. I acted with haste, Master Lelouch, worried for Nunnally's life."

"Then you need not worry." Lelouch became solemn. "I had no younger sibling in my prior life, only an older brother whom I was stuck in the shadow of. His follies in his relationship with me, I do not intend to repeat with Nunnally. My end is not world domination, though that may still be the means. Instead, my goal is to destroy my father, and the web of injustice that he sits at the heart of, as well as to take vengeance for my mother. Then, having carved out the cancer at the centre of Britannia, I will have paved the way for a world safe for Nunnally to live. A kinder world. Yes, there will still be cruelty and darkness…but I intend to burn away as much of it as I can. Freeing Japan is but the first step. I already had planned on doing this, but gaining Geass, and regaining my powers from my former life, has accelerated my timetable. I'm not so arrogant to believe I can do so alone. I may be powerful, but even with Geass, my Frost Giant physiology, and the power of the Casket of Ancient Winters, well, I need an army. Or a Hulk."

"…A Hulk?"

"I heard rumours of a man who turned into a rampaging beast back on the Midgard of my universe," Lelouch remarked. "The humans called him a Hulk. An unstoppable berserker. Still, I doubt they have something like that. My bit of gambling has helped build up the funds I need for this sort of thing. Armed revolutions are somewhat expensive, and there's also paying for our upkeep and Nunnally's medical bills. Still, for an army, I think I may have a decent foundation to begin one. Those rebels seemed to be concerned about civilian casualties, considering their discussions over the so-called poison gas."

"Contacting them might be tricky," CC pointed out.

"Maybe not. I'm fairly certain that one of them is a student here, Kallen Stadtfeld. I'm going to be keeping an eye on her for the next little while…"

* * *

As she lay in her bed that night, Kallen Kozuki stared at the ceiling. What was it about that name, Loki, the name of a Norse god, that sounded familiar? It reminded her of her nightmares, the ones she despised, of the woman in the black costume and the spiky horned headdress, cackling as she slew so many of her number on winged steeds in a bleak landscape. Of being the only one to survive, but when she tried to head somewhere, anywhere to exile herself, she got careless. Perhaps she did so on purpose, as expurgation for her survivor's guilt. She remembered being torn apart, the voice of a woman…and then, nothing.

While she was brilliant with a Knightmare Frame, and missed her Glasgow badly, she wondered what it would be like to fight on a winged horse, in armour. Sometimes, when she looked in the mirror, she saw not her red hair, pale skin, blue eyes, and just a hint of Oriental features from her mother, not enough to be noticeable. Sometimes, she saw a woman with dark hair and brown skin, with the eyes of a warrior. She didn't know why, and at times, she felt like she was losing her mind. Probably from the stress of living a double life.

Then again, Kallen didn't truly know what living a double life truly meant. But soon, she would. Yes, she would…

 **CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Ohhh…so Kallen is someone who may be familiar to those who have watched** ** _Thor: Ragnarok_** **. Don't worry, she's the only MCU character making an appearance...unless a Stan Lee cameo counts.**

 **No numbered annotations this time.**


	36. GATE: Thus the Chosen One Chapter 1

**Well, I reach 100K words with the Compost Heap with yet another attempt at a _Star Wars_ crossover, one that's Anakin-centric, and will doubtless get him more badass moments, less whining...oh, and it's set, as with _Spreading Wings_ , about a year prior to Episode II.**

 **I won't say anything else, only...enjoy!**

* * *

 _ **GATE: THUS THE CHOSEN ONE FOUGHT THERE**_

 **CHAPTER 1:**

 **CRASH LANDING**

 _A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…_

 _Or perhaps not_ …

 **Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and his Padawan, the Chosen One Anakin Skywalker, have recently finished a mission for the Jedi Order. However, their enemies, filled with spite, had sabotaged their transports, hoping to destroy or cripple their spacecraft. In doing so, they hoped to deal a dreadful blow to the Jedi Order.**

 **The sabotage damaged the hyperdrive of the Jedi Starfighter belonging to Anakin just as they were entering hyperspace. What should have been a standard hyperspace jump to Coruscant, capital of the galaxy and home of the Jedi Order, instead caused him to be flung into the depths of hyperspace. The Chosen One could have been lost forever in nothingness, but for chance.**

 **Anakin Skywalker emerged from hyperspace, a long way from home, above a planet in a galaxy far, far away. But even as he makes a crash landing, he will soon find that something brought them here. Perhaps it was the will of the Force. Maybe it was coincidence. But it would bring him into contact with something that would change his life…**

* * *

Anakin Skywalker. The Chosen One. Born to Shmi Skywalker. Father, unknown. Possessing a record number of midichlorians in his blood, giving him an unprecedented connection to the Force. And currently, feeling a mixture of annoyance, curiosity, and caution.

The former was a familiar feeling to Anakin. Annoyance and frustration were feelings he felt a lot lately, as he felt that the Jedi Order had failed to recognise his talents…or else feared them, and deliberately held him back. A more intellectual, objective part of him understood why: he had been accepted into the Jedi Order on sufferance at a much older age than the norm, and it meant more to learn in less time. He tended not to listen to that part of him, which frequently spoke with different voices. Sometimes, it was his mother. Sometimes, it spoke with Yoda's voice, even with that irritating syntax of his. And sometimes it was Obi-Wan's voice.

Curiosity was also familiar, albeit less so than annoyance of late. Of course, every time he went to another world, it was like a new experience for him. It was certainly novel, compared to the desert wasteland of his homeworld, Tatooine. He wanted to go back there, free the slaves, free his mother…but he wouldn't be able to even contemplate that before he finished his training.

Then again, considering he was stranded here, his starfighter smashed beyond repair, even to his skills or that of the now-irrevocably destroyed astromech droid, and with limited supplies (as well as what he could salvage of the comms systems, so that he could try repairing it when he had a moment), well, his ability to finish his training was now rather limited. He was lucky to be able to walk away from that crash with cuts and bruises, and a limp. And a quick look in the skies showed that they weren't in any region of space he was familiar with. Admittedly, he hadn't travelled to every single sector of the galaxy and did any real stargazing, but he needed to know the basics for astronavigation.

On worlds that hadn't made contact with the Republic and whose spacefaring capabilities weren't up to going into FTL travel, well, protocol was tricky. In truth, Anakin knew that more than a few worlds had attacked potential ambassadors and stolen the technology. Other first contact scenarios hadn't been so brutal, admittedly, but still, it paid to be prudent.

The landscape he had landed in was actually quite beautiful, not unlike the countryside of Naboo, as well as many other worlds he had been to since he joined the Jedi Order. No signs of industrial development, just grass and trees. But there was something dark tainting the Force nearby, he could feel it.

And then, he heard laughter from nearby, and heard the distinctive crackle of a bonfire. He walked around cautiously, and listened in. He frowned. He couldn't place the language. It didn't sound like Basic, and he only caught a few words here and there. But when he rounded the corner, and found a cart with a trio of dead bodies, he knew something was amiss.

The bodies were a man, a woman, and a teenaged girl, apparently human. All three were dead, murdered brutally…and if he wasn't mistaken, both the woman and the girl had been raped. He heard a sudden shout in that language, and he looked to see a group of thuggish-looking men coming around to find him.

Anakin glared at them, his blue eyes as piercing as his own lightsaber, which he pulled from his belt and ignited. "Did you do this?" he said, indicating the bodies. Not that he doubted it, or that they would understand what he said…but he wanted confirmation.

The bandits jeered, and then, one of them said, in rough-sounding Basic, "Hohoh, sounds like someone's pissed. Well, those guys had to pay the toll. So do you. Hand over your valuables, including that little glowing stick, and maybe you can pass us by."

Anakin merely swung the lightsaber, severing the man's hand. "You're not the toll collectors," Anakin said. "I am."

"Ooh, I like your style," purred a voice from nearby, and Anakin whirled to find a most strange apparition before him. He got careless, concentrating on these damned bandits, for he was sure that's what they were.

The girl appeared to be in her early teens, dressed in a black frilly dress that seemed both old fashioned, and yet, had an alarmingly high hemline. Her face was beautiful, framed by long tresses of glossy raven black hair, crimson eyes peering at him curiously. Her general demeanour was vaguely feline, enhanced by the black bow she wore, like a pair of cat ears. She wielded a massive halberd that no child her age should have been able to wield.

"Rory Mercury!" screamed one bandit. And this was a panicked cry taken up by the rest of the bandits, as the girl leapt at them, laughing as she sliced them to ribbons with her halberd. Anakin could only watch in horror…and not a little vindication. For a moment, Anakin wondered if she was a Sith, but while she did create something of a localised disturbance within the Force, it didn't feel quite like a Jedi, or even a darker form. It was more…wild, like a force of nature, mercurial and (relatively) impersonal.

Soon, she was done, and she walked over to the bodies of the victims, looking down at them with regret and sympathy. She spoke something in a language Anakin didn't know, a prayer or a benediction. She then began putting the bodies of the family on a cart, arranging them so that their bodies were decent. Then, she said, "I don't suppose you have a means of setting this cart on fire? I intend to leave these bloodthirsty bastards for the crows, but for their victims, either a burial or a pyre."

Anakin nodded, taking out his campfire equipment, and swiftly igniting the cart. "Who are you?" Anakin said as he backed away from the flames.

The girl looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "Oh? So you have never met an Apostle before?"

"…An Apostle?"

The girl peered at his lightsaber, which he had deactivated during the fight. "Ah…I see how it is. I have roamed this world for many years, and I haven't seen a weapon like that, a sword of pure light." She smirked. "Ooh, what a lovely weapon. Emroy would be pleased. Still…I wonder, did you come from beyond the Gate, or to this world by other means?"

"…By other means. My transport has been destroyed, and I've been left stranded," Anakin said.

"Ah! Well, I should introduce myself. I am Lady Rory Mercury, Apostle, Priestess and Oracle to Emroy, God of War and Calamity. And, as you can see, I take out the trash on occasion."

"…Anakin Skywalker, Jedi. Well, Padawan," Anakin said.

"…Jedi…now, that term sounds oddly familiar," Rory mused. "Still…you seem like the righteous sort. And if you are stranded here, then it behoves me as an Apostle to accompany you until you reach civilisation."

"No offence, but…while I'm sure you can handle yourself given what I saw…you're a kid."

She pouted. "Excuse me? Apostles are granted eternal youth by the deity they worship, thank you! I happened to be thirteen when I was chosen, but I am 961 years old, _little boy!_ " She grinned. "And when 900 years old you reach, you won't look as good, huh?"

* * *

In another galaxy, Grand Master Yoda sneezed twice, and frowned. One of his favourite lines, someone had stolen. Most perturbing this is…

* * *

"You're 961 years old?" Anakin said, staring at Rory flatly. " _What._ "

"Yep." Rory looked at the cart solemnly. "Damned bandits. I heard them speak of attacking Coda Village, as the Flame Dragon has been spotted nearby, and Coda would have to evacuate. And there are rumours of soldiers with unusual weapons, the Men in Green, having been spotted. I wonder if they are soldiers from beyond the Gate. Hmm, that might be interesting. Indeed, Emperor Molt Sol Augustus may very well have bitten off more than he can chew…"

* * *

Anakin didn't know quite how Rory persuaded him to travel with her. However, he needed someone who knew the lie of the land, and who'd be willing to ally themselves with him. And despite her dark nature, her victims were rapists and murderers.

As they walked, Rory began explaining some things. Deities here were once mortals who ascended to godhood through apotheosis, most of them doing a thousand years of service as Apostles. This land was called Falmart, and most of it was under the rule of the Saderan Empire. Many species inhabited this world, including humans and what were called demi-humans, humanoid beings with various traits. And something like magic, or a Force ability that could be misconstrued as such, existed.

Every so often, usually after several centuries, a mysterious Gate opened up on Alnus Hill, allowing other beings to settle in Falmart. However, the ruler of the Empire, Molt Sol Augustus, had decided to use the Gate to invade another world. That, according to Rory, had backfired. Apparently the Imperial army had been decimated by an army dressed in green.

Judging by Rory's description, albeit secondhand (she had heard about them from Emroy and people she met in her travels), the army may be wielding primitive projectile weapons using gunpowder. The descriptions of their vehicles sounded like ground cars with wheels, no antigrav.

In turn, he spoke to her about the Force and the Jedi. He couldn't help but laugh, despite himself, when she remarked that they sounded like a group of hidebound monks.

A couple of days after he began travelling with Rory, a murder of crows flying overhead, she suddenly peered into the distance, and smiled. "Ah, they come."

Anakin reached out with the Force, and concurred, inwardly. He could feel a group of living beings coming this way. And in the distance, when he used his binoculars, he could see a bunch of motorised vehicles, green and blocky and vaguely militaristic, leading a convoy of primitive wagons.

Rory sat down and smirked. "I think we can wait here. I want to see what their motives are."

Anakin merely remained standing. "I don't think their intentions towards us are hostile, or towards those people they're leading."

"Oh yes, this 'Force' you speak of. Hmm…well, they're coming to a halt. They must've spotted us. Let's go."

A group of children ran up, chattering to Rory, who asked questions. "Well, well," she remarked after they answered. "It seems that they are trying to just be nice."

Anakin peered at the lead vehicle. If he didn't know any better, these seemed to be using antiquated internal combustion engines, and with fossil fuels to boot! The men (as well as a woman) in there were indeed dressed in green uniforms, most with dark hair and eyes. He eventually walked over to the vehicle as Rory kept speaking with the children, and said, "Do you speak Basic?"

"…You mean English?" one of them, a lazy-looking young man with a faint scruff of beard on his chin. "Yeah. What's your name?"

"I'm Anakin Skywalker, and that is Rory Mercury, Apostle of Emroy. Yours?"

"1st Lieutenant Youji Itami of the Japanese Self-Defence Forces. Hey, if you speak English, are you from Earth?"

Protocol meant generally keeping that quiet from pre-spaceflight cultures, though doing so with pre-hyperspeed cultures was trickier. Anakin decided, to vac with kriffing protocol. He'd probably have to be wary around these guys superiors, true, but he could sense that these guys, despite their military bearing, were fine.

"Is that your world? No, I'm from Tatooine, originally. I'm…stranded here. A long way from home," Anakin said. "I need help repairing my comms systems at the least."

The young man next to Itami asked something of the scruffy man in a staccato language. Itami sighed. "Kurata wants to know if you're an alien or something."

"Humans are surprisingly widespread throughout the galaxy," Anakin said. Then, he frowned. "My galaxy, anyway. I'm not sure even if I am in my galaxy."

Itami chuckled. "So, what, your spaceship crashlanded or something?"

"Yes. I'm not sure you can repair it with your technology, but comms systems are another matter."

Itami seemed to speak to a few of the others, before nodding. "Wanna come with us? We're heading back to base with these civilians. You might find the stuff you need to repair your comms. Just as long as you're not here to invade us or anything."

Rory, who had finished talking to the children, strutted over. "He claims to be part of a sect known as the Jedi," she said. "Warrior monks who act as peacekeepers. Given what the children said you people are doing, you seem to be more alike than you'd think. Incidentally, the children said this is more comfortable than a carriage. May I have a seat?"

Anakin noticed her impish smirk as Itami hesitantly accepted. What did she intend? Whatever she intended, he had a bad feeling about this…

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Anakin has ended up in Falmart, and has met Rory and Itami.**

 **No numbered annotations this time.**


	37. GATE: Thus the Chosen One Chapter 2

**So, lucky you guys, getting a second chapter of this. Don't worry, those of you wondering if _Lelouch Liesmith_ will ever see the light of day, it's still being worked on. Hopefully, it will. But this story, I think, has more potential, and I've already done a Lelouch as a reincarnation story.**

 **Also, a guest reviewer made a remark about my not doing stories that didn't have Harry Potter, Lelouch vi Britannia, or Loki as the main protagonists. I would like to point out that I have no less than 31 of my _published_ stories, including oneshots, have other characters involved. Excluding oneshots or OCs (as the main viewpoint protagonist, anyway), there are 17 stories with varying protagonists ranging from Sakura from _Naruto_ to Seymour from _Final Fantasy X_ to Church from _Red vs Blue_. Writing Harry Potter as the protagonist is just easiest. Also, I had only done one published story apiece where Lelouch and Loki were primary protagonists, _Plenipotent Player Prince_ (albeit where Lelouch is a reincarnated Momonga from _Overlord_ ) and _Light the Blue Touch Paper and Run Like Hell_ respectively. So it is _not_ a unicorn, as you would discover if you read my profile and look at the stories there, Guest. Feel free to read them, as you may enjoy them. I'm just banishing ignorance here, and letting you know where you can find other stories with characters other than Harry Potter in the key protagonist role.**

* * *

 _ **GATE: THUS THE CHOSEN ONE FOUGHT THERE**_

 **CHAPTER 2:**

 **THE FLAME DRAGON**

Anakin was torn between laughter and embarrassment when Rory decided, at least initially, to sit in Itami's lap. She only bothered to put on an artifice of innocence that was easily seen through, even for someone without the command of the Force. Eventually, she sat between Itami and Kurata, her halberd in the back, while Anakin sat in the back with three others. The woman, some sort of medic, was Mari Kurokawa, while the older man was Souichirou Kuwahara.

The third occupant was currently unconscious. She wasn't human, though she wasn't far from it. She had fair skin, blonde hair, and a rather buxom figure (currently covered by a sheet), not to mention appearing to be in her late teens. But her ears were elongated, having her resemble a Sephi. Itami and the others called her a 'High Elf'.

The JSDF soldiers filled Anakin in on what had happened. They came not just from another world, but specifically the small country of Japan. Basic appeared to be the language spoken in many countries on Earth, specifically the United Kingdom of Great Britain and the United States of America. Most of the JSDF soldiers present could speak Basic, or English as they called it, due to the JSDF training frequently with soldiers from the USA.

About three months ago, a mysterious Gate opened up in Ginza, a district of the Japanese capital of Tokyo. A massive army out of what they believed to be fantasy fiction poured through, slaughtering or capturing any in their path. The police and the JSDF managed to beat them back, and the JSDF, after months of debate in the Japanese government and the international community, had been given the go-ahead to mount an expedition to this new world. Their mission was to find out who sent the army and hold them to account.

In the process of learning this, Anakin learned some more things. Apparently, technically, the JSDF wasn't actually meant to wage war. The best part of a century before, the Japanese were belligerents in a world-spanning war that only ended with the first ever use of primitive nuclear weapons. The Japanese had to agree to give up warfare, maintaining this Self-Defence Force purely as a defensive measure. To allow the JSDF to effectively invade this world required a lot of political negotiations.

In any case, Itami's team, the 3rd Reconnaissance Team, were basically investigating the surrounding areas, though after seeing a High Elf village get destroyed, and finding only one survivor (the girl, who had apparently taken refuge inside a well), it had changed to evacuation. A Flame Dragon had been the culprit, and according to the locals, once the Flame Dragon woke up, it wouldn't be sated until it had gorged itself on flesh and violence.

Anakin, admittedly, had to buy this information with discussions of the state of galactic politics, as well as the Jedi. Oddly enough, Itami kept on calling them 'espers' or something.

"So, can you read this girl's mind?" Kurokawa asked.

"Not exactly. It's not like a book," Anakin said. "But…I can get impressions."

"Well, if you can do it for this girl, I'd appreciate it. At the very least, I want to know who she is," the medic said.

"I could answer that for you," Rory said, looking back at them. "The High Elves generally don't enjoy my presence, if only because they find Emroy distasteful, but they never refuse hospitality to an Apostle. A few years ago, I visited their village. I believe that girl's name is Tuka Luna Marceau. Her father was Hodor Ray Marceau."

"I sense fear and sorrow within her," Anakin said solemnly as he looked down at Tuka. "She saw her people get killed by that beast, perhaps even her own father." He gently reached out with the Force, and sent a calming influence into her mind. Her expression relaxed ever so slightly.

"Handy," Kurokawa remarked.

"There are varieties of magic, particularly spiritual magic, that has a similar effect," Rory said.

Suddenly, Tuka's eyes flickered open, and she sat up, causing the blanket covering her body to fall off, revealing breasts a Twilek would envy. Realising what she had done, she grabbed at the blanket and looked around in an understandable panic, speaking in another language. Rory spoke back to her calmingly. Tuka seemed to relax a little when she saw Rory, before she asked a question. Rory answered, but Tuka seemed to snap an angry denial, which was refuted by the Apostle. A brief argument ensued, before Tuka began babbling something, before she broke down, weeping, and Rory clambered into the back, and held the High Elf gently, murmuring an apology in a soothing voice.

"What's wrong?" Itami asked.

"Tuka was thrown into the well you found her in by her father, who was trying to protect her from the Flame Dragon," Rory said quietly. "She was in denial about his death. If he isn't dead, then he either wandered off in an amnesic daze, or else was found and taken away by someone else who didn't find her. I had to snap her out of it, get her to accept that, in all likelihood, her father is dead. If that turns out to not be the case…well, they can have a reunion if we do find him. But…I think it would have eaten at her, her father's fate and her denial of that. And it may not have ended well…"

* * *

Later that day, as they drove through an arid area, Anakin felt a disturbance in the Force, a massive wave of malevolence and killing intent, animalistic and primal. He instantly looked to the rear of the convoy, towards the sun in the sky. Somehow, he knew what this was. "Flame Dragon," he snarled, before he clambered for the rear door, and opened it, diving out, despite the shouts of the JSDF soldiers, using the Force to propel him to the ground and cushion his landing by the side of the road towards the rear of the convoy. He noticed briefly a wagon passing with a grizzled, bearded old man wearing a pointy hat, and a teenaged girl with silvery blue hair peering at him curiously…and he felt the Force around them. Not as great as they could have been as Jedi, but still, something to note when the threat was dealt with.

With a roar, the Flame Dragon dived out of the air, flames blasting out of its mouth, intending to wipe out much of the rear of the refugee convoy. Acting on instinct, Anakin reached into the Force, and channelled as much as he dared. And then, he thrust out a hand with a roar of anger. This beast had tried to murder the people under his protection.

The flames from the Flame Dragon parted metres away, dissipating, like a torrent of water meeting an immovable barrier and dissolving into spray. It took Anakin every effort to keep the flames from reaching him, or anyone else. As the flames cleared, Anakin got his first good look at the creature. It was like a massive Krayt Dragon from his homeworld, only with wings, and a hide the colour of blood. A golden eye peered at him balefully, the other eye grey and with an arrow sticking out of it.

Anakin knew that this beast was intelligent. And it had marked him. He could sense its anger at being thwarted. It landed in front of him, and swiped at him with a clawed hand. He ignited his lightsaber and leapt over the hand, hitting it with the blade…but all it did was burn a deep gouge.

Anakin scowled as he landed, his body virtually on autopilot, guided by the Force as he began leaping around the beast, slashing at it. This kriffing monster had a hide like the Beskar they used in damned Mandalorian armour! What he wouldn't give for a squadron of starfighters right now! All he could do, for now, was buy time for the convoy to get out of the way, and for the JSDF to get over their shock and start using their weapons.

And right on cue, the chatter of their weapons started up, as the vehicles came his way. Those projectile weapons they used probably wouldn't be able to scratch them, but they also had a form of rocket launcher, for use against tanks. That might do the trick, if it was designed to penetrate armour.

As the beast flinched as some bullets got close to its eye, one of the JSDF soldiers in an armoured vehicle got out a rocket launcher, hesitated briefly, and fired…just as the vehicle went over a hump. The rocket was about to go wide…until Anakin happened.

He only had just enough time to divert the rocket a little with the Force. Just enough so that, instead of missing, it ploughed right into the left shoulder of the beast. An explosion rocked the area, and flame and smoke enveloped the Flame Dragon temporarily, though the scream of agony from it was telling. It flew out of the cloud of smoke and flew off into the distance, leaving a trail of blood from the severed arm.

However, Anakin felt angry and disappointed, even as he deactivated his lightsabre. This beast had tried to kill people that were under his protection. And while he and Obi-Wan, not to mention many amongst the Jedi, had their disagreements, one thing he shared with the Jedi was a desire to protect the innocent. And this damned beast had tried to kill innocent people, and for what purpose? It was certainly more than just an animal: he felt intelligence and malevolence.

He didn't notice Rory strutting up to him, something that was becoming a bad habit, not until she spoke. "…You feel angry that you couldn't kill it. I understand. I don't like leaving a job half-done either. But…you made it feel pain. I doubt that Flame Dragon has felt that often. Even I would be hard-pressed to beat it. And you protected a lot of people. Had you not been there, a lot of them would have died. As it is, _you saved them_ , Anakin."

Anakin nodded, Rory's gentle words getting through to him better than anything Obi-Wan would have said. Rory felt more genuine than one of his master's truisms or lectures. "I know, but…if I had been faster in reacting to that rocket, I could have killed the damned thing."

"You helped drive it away. Few beings on this world can claim to do so," Rory said, though she frowned. "That being said, the Flame Dragon has awoken way too early. I wonder…has someone woken it up before its time?"

* * *

Shortly afterwards, most of the refugees parted ways with the JSDF convoy. However, a few remained. Tuka and Rory opted to stay with them, as did the old man and the teenaged girl with blue hair. Rory named them as Cato El Athelstan and Lelei La Lalena, mages, and both, especially the girl, were curious about Anakin's abilities and his lightsaber. They asked many questions that Anakin tried to field as best as he could, wishing that Obi-Wan or Yoda or someone with more knowledge could answer them.

The journey didn't take much longer, now that most of the refugees had left. They soon arrived at a location that Rory called Alnus Hill. Anakin noted the military base. While relatively primitive by the standards of the galaxy he was used to, it was certainly centuries in advance of everything he had seen so far in this world. The signs and scars of battle littered the surrounding countryside, craters from explosives, barbed wire, and corpses of massive beasts.

Rory chortled softly to herself. "Ah, that arrogant little pup Molt has most definitely poked his finger into a hornets' nest," she remarked as she peered out of the window.

Anakin nodded. Still, as the base approached, he had to wonder, has his master made it back to Coruscant intact? Would Anakin be declared lost, MIA? Or would they mount a search for him? Would they even bother? Anakin was not blind, he knew he was very much a divisive issue within the Jedi Order, yet another thing about them that rankled at him. Many lauded him as the Chosen One, thanks to Qui-Gon Jinn…and others thought him an arrogant upstart who was brought in too late to be taught Jedi ways properly. Someone with too quick a temper, too hungry a thirst for power and knowledge, and too strong an ambition to be a proper Jedi.

Still…he knew that despite their frequent disagreements, he knew his master would never stop looking. He had faith in that much at least. And at the end of the day…the Jedi looked after their own. No…he would just have to concentrate on seeing if he could repair the comms system and send a message to them…

 **CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Anakin's joined forces with the JSDF. BTW, the scene where Anakin uses the Force to block the dragonfire was inspired by a similar scene, involving his son, in MMiFFwI's** ** _Universal Impossibility_** **.**

 **Incidentally, for the Flame Dragon sequence in general, I actually recommend Galactic Empire's metal remix of, what else,** ** _Duel of the Fates_** **.**

 **No numbered annotations this time.**


	38. Ken Fueguchi Chapter 1

**So, those of you following my Potterverse compilation _The Cauldron_ will know that I've got a recent interest in _Tokyo Ghoul_ , and tried a story where Harry is raised by the Fueguchis. However, I also wanted to give this story a go, where Ken Kaneki is actually raised by the Fueguchis. It'd be interesting to have a Ken who is actually used to Ghouls already before he got Ghoulified. I posted a challenge based on that premise, and this might be the beginning of me answering that challenge.**

 **That being said, sorry, Hide fans, this fic is not for you...**

 **Still, I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

 _ **KEN FUEGUCHI**_

 **CHAPTER 1:**

 **A LAMB AMONGST WOLVES**

 _The boy trudged through the pouring rain, the grey sky seemingly the only thing joining him in lamenting the passing of his mother_. Karoushi, _they called it. Death by overwork. A sadly too-common occurrence in Japan. His mother had not only been providing for him, but for her sister, his aunt, who took the money with a smile…but when the time came and his mother died, she had shown her true colours, the monster lurking beneath a human façade._

 _Nothing as pedestrian as a Ghoul. A Ghoul would have killed him and eaten him by now, a mercy by comparison. No, she had rejected him, told him he wasn't welcome. Not a burden like him. That was the pot calling the kettle black, in hindsight. The landlord had already kicked him out. And here he was, weighed down by the meagre possessions he could carry, the few books he couldn't bear to leave behind, clothes a few toys…but he had nothing else. No family, no money, no friends or love. Hide was on holiday with his family, so he couldn't turn to him. It would be dark soon, and he needed to find shelter._

 _So preoccupied was he with his thoughts, he didn't notice the shadow lurking in the alley he passed until the arm was already snaking out, grabbing him around the neck, and dragging him into the alley, a clammy hand clamped over his mouth. "Well, well, well…looks like my luck's changing," rasped a voice, horrid smelling breath turning his stomach. "After all that time locked up and left to starve…I've got myself a nice, bite-sized meal."_

 _The boy tried to struggle and squirm, but knew it was futile. He was going to become a meal for a Ghoul, like a princess in a fairytale eaten by a dragon. Only, there was no knight in shining armour to save him. Reality was too cruel for that. With a despair no boy his age should possess, he resigned himself to his fate…_

 _…Only to suddenly have the arms wrenched away. Hot blood spattered his face, and his attacker howled a shrill, pained howl. "What…what the fuck?!" he screamed. The boy staggered around, and found that the man, with long, stringy hair and dishevelled clothes, was missing an arm, blood spraying. And nearby was a man, tall and stern…but with tendrils that looked like whips made from a spinal cord protruding from his back, and eyes with black sclerae and red irises._

 _The_ kakugan _of a Ghoul._

 _"These are my hunting grounds, you disgusting animal," the newcomer, another Ghoul, sneered. "And I only go for criminals. Not innocent children." Suddenly, the spine-like whip lashed out, taking the other Ghoul's head, which rolled to a stop in front of the boy, expression frozen in a pained leer._

 _This turned out to be all too much for the boy, whose eyes rolled up in his head, and he fainted, not expecting to wake up again_ …

* * *

 _Only, he did wake up. To a wonderful smell. It smelled like chicken soup. And he was lying on a couch. He sat up, disturbing the blanket that had been placed on him…before realising that whoever had him here had taken his clothes off, replacing them with a kimono._

 _Watching him was a girl of about five. "Oh! You're awake! Daddy! The boy's awake!"_

 _"I heard you, Hinami," came a familiar voice, and the Ghoul who'd killed his attacked came in, his eyes no longer showing a_ kakugan. _He was cradling a mug. The boy felt a stab of fear at his approach, but the man halted. "It's okay, we're not going to hurt you. I'm a doctor, and I wanted to make sure you were well before I contact someone to take care of you." He handed the mug over to the boy. It took several seconds for him to accept this offering. "Just mind that it's hot. I've never really made chicken soup before, even out of a packet, and I don't want you burning your mouth."_

 _"…Why? Why are you helping me? You're…you're a Ghoul…"_

 _"Ah. I'm sorry you had to witness that. But he was going to kill you. Look…I know it's hard to believe…but not all Ghouls eat any human we come across. I promise you…once you're ready, I'll call your parents, or your guardians or relatives…and you can go home…"_

 _"I don't have a home," the boy said quietly, miserably. He didn't know why he was saying it. "My mother died not long ago…my father died years ago. My aunt didn't want me…I…I…" Sobs caught in his throat._

 _And then, he felt a hand on his face, the girl's hand, who looked at him sadly. "Don't cry. You're a big boy, big boys don't cry. I'm Hinami, and that's my daddy! What's your name?"_

 _"…Ken. Ken Kaneki…"_

* * *

 _Eight years later_ …

Ken grimaced as he put the newspaper down. " _Ghoul Attack on the Aqua Club Building!_ " he read the headline out. " _Binge Eater and Jason Strike Once More!_ Rize has come to the 20th Ward. Not to mention someone from Aogiri Tree. There goes the neighbourhood."

"Yes…it's not good," Ryoko Fueguchi said, the gentle-looking woman cradling a cup of coffee. "Rize being here will cause the Doves to come down on top of us like a ton of bricks. And Aogiri Tree are always trouble."

"Hmm. Touka's going to be more irritable than usual, I'm sure," Ken sighed quietly. "She's in her last year of high school, she's got exams to deal with…and if Doves start popping up everywhere, she's not going to be happy. Then again, it's hard enough for her to smile anyway."

"You know what she's gone through, Ken. To be a Ghoul is to have a hard life, especially for those who don't hunt, or else don't hunt indiscriminately. To try and look normal for society. You've lived with us for long enough to know that."

"I know, and I'm grateful for that, Ryoko. You've given me more love and affection than you had to over the years, more than I des…"

"Don't you **_dare_** finish that sentence, Ken Fueguchi," Ryoko said, her usual gentle demeanour becoming stern. "Given what happened to you, you deserve love and affection. Any decent person would have loved to have a child like you, thoughtful, caring, intelligent, kind…your aunt was a fool. What you lack more than anything else is self-esteem." Ryoko chuckled softly. "You're a bit like Hinami in that regard."

"Unlike Hinami, I haven't had to hide what I am," Ken said quietly. "I don't have an excuse."

"You're better than you were when we first took you in. Then again, you saw Asaki kill that other Ghoul. A bit of a traumatic thing to see."

"Yes, but…he saved me. I owe him my life. And then, you took me in, and sometimes I wonder…why."

Ryoko chuckled. "Remember what you asked a couple of times, whether we were fattening you up to eat, like in a fairytale? It hurt then, but now, it's funny."

Ken chuckled weakly. He felt bad about hurting their feelings now. "Maybe. Anyway, I'd better get a move on. If I don't get there soon, Touka will chew me out. Probably literally…"

* * *

Ken was in a pensive mood as he walked to the Anteiku coffee shop. Then again, he was frequently in a pensive mood. Even after being taken in by the Fueguchi family, he had a tendency to be introverted and shy, self-effacing and soft-spoken. Still, at least they loved him. It was odd how his own aunt had rejected him…and yet, a family of Ghouls, obligate cannibals demonised as monsters in the media, treated him like he was their own. It was like a pack of wolves adopting a lamb, and it took him some time to trust them.

And yet, here he was. A human amongst Ghouls. Since high school, he had been working at Anteiku, a coffee shop that acted as a hub and refuge for Ghouls in the 20th Ward, aka Nerima. The coffee shop was owned and run by Mr Yoshimura, a kindly old Ghoul who, like Ryoko and Hinami, refused to kill to eat, instead scavenging from suicide victims. And working there as well was…

"Good, you're early for a change."

Touka Kirishima. Ken had met her through the Fueguchis. The dark-haired girl had been rather cold, sullen, and bad-tempered, and while she still possessed those qualities, she had warmed to Ken over the years. Her dark hair hung over her right eye in a manner that was rather cute. Indeed, she was quite pretty, and the two of them had, albeit only recently, begun to go out on dates…though dinner dates, given that she was a Ghoul and he was a normal human, were out of the question. She was standing near the rear entrance of Anteiku, carrying a few boxes.

"I thought I'd get here soon. Did you see the news?" Ken asked.

"About the Aqua Club? Hard not to. That's all we need, having that bitch here," Touka said. "By the way, a little help, please?"

Ken nodded, opening the door for her, and then taking one of the boxes of coffee from her. Touka nodded her thanks, and they got through the door, kicking off their shoes. "Did your food run last night with Yomo go well?"

"Didn't find a damn thing," Touka said. "Not that we need to for the time being, the freezer's pretty well-stocked, and I butchered that paedophile last week, remember?"

"Yeah…though I dunno why you'd want to eat a person like that, Touka. I mean, don't get me wrong, killing that sort of person is a service to society, but…"

"It's probably the most use he is to society, sating my hunger," Touka said grimly. "One less child molester, one less person I'd have to kill, everybody who matters is happy."

"I guess. Do you need help with any schoolwork?"

"No. Here, open the door for me, okay?"

Ken nodded, opening the storeroom door, and the pair of them put the boxes of coffee bean packets onto the bench, Touka running a hand through her hair. "Right. Thanks, Ken," she said, turning a rare, soft smile on him. Not the usual air stewardess smile that she used with customers, even if it was so well-practised, only those in the know knew it was a fake. Rather, it was the smile she showed to those she knew, and trusted, a true smile. It had taken time for her to smile at him like that.

Touka was cold and abrasive much of the time, but Ken knew enough about her past to know why. That she trusted him at all was a minor miracle in of itself. That she was willing to consider him her boyfriend was a somewhat greater miracle. After all, he was a human…and she was his Ghoulfriend, a pun she had threatened to eat him over, even as she had tried to conceal her smirk.

"You're welcome. By the way, Hinami says hi."

Touka chuckled. Hinami was effectively her little sister as much as Hinami was Ken's. "I wish I could go and see her, but school's beginning to get more busy. Plus, Yoriko wants to hang out more. She's really persistent. She keeps bugging me to introduce you to her since I let slip you and I were going out. I thought going out with you would mean she'd stop bugging me about boys she wanted to set me up with."

"Yeah, Hide's the same lately. He's jealous that I've got you as a girlfriend. Then again, he recently said he's met this really hot girl, so he claims."

"I'm surprised he managed to get someone, with his personality," Touka said. "I mean, he's smarter than he looks, but he's such a loudmouth. I'm still amazed that you two are friends."

"Is it because of what you think of me, or what you think of him?"

"Yes."

Ken scowled lightheartedly. "Some Ghoulfriend you are."

"Stop calling me that, Spare Meat!" Touka mock-snarled, batting at his shoulder. It was her own mocking nickname for him, one that had become affectionate over the years rather than insulting.

"Ah, young love," came the voice of an old, kindly-looking man standing in the door. This was Yoshimura, the owner and manager of Anteiku. Then, his expression became more solemn. "Now, Ken, I presume you heard the news?"

"If you mean what happened at the Aqua Club, then yes. I'll keep an eye out for Rize. Though why does Aogiri Tree have an interest in her?"

"I have no idea. Rize's rather too independent to join them, I daresay, and Aogiri Tree do not take refusals well. The strife they cause between them may bring the Doves down upon us," Yoshimura sighed. "Still, we can only do what we can. Now, Ken, Mr Kurosawa wants a different blend when he comes in today…"

* * *

It was on the way home after a day at Anteiku that Ken received a message from Hide. A photo with a caption, a selfie of himself and a girl, marked _#MeganekkoBabe_. Ken paled when he saw who it was. Long dark hair framing a demure, beautiful face, glasses…Ken had only met her once, running into her with his family. But he had been warned about her.

Rize Kamishiro. Aka the Binge Eater, one of the most brutal and messy Ghouls in Tokyo. And she had his friend in her sights. Despite her lovely smile in the picture, he knew that she was one of the worst Ghouls.

Instantly, he called Hide. " _Yo, Ken, what's up? Did you get my little picture message?_ "

"Yes, I did. Where are you, actually?"

" _Well, I'm escorting Rize to her home in Takada Building Street. Why? You're not looking to be a gooseberry, are you? I…ARRRRGGHHH!_ "

The blood-curdling scream echoed up the line, and then, the line was cut off. Ken looked around, and then scurried off, knowing that he was close. Not that he could do much against Rize, but maybe he could distract her, long enough for Hide to get away, or…something. Anything!

By the time he got there, though, it was too late. Rize was crouched over Hide's broken, mutilated body, her _kagune_ , a quartet of crimson tendrils, out. "Get away from him, you BITCH!" Ken yelled.

Rize rolled her eyes, showing off her _kakugan_. "Wow, Ellen Ripley…but did you forget your power-armour?" she sneered. "He's dinner, and you…" Suddenly, her _kagune_ lashed out, and yanked him off his feet, sending him crashing into a nearby construction site. "You're dessert."

Ken couldn't even scream, the pain was that bad. It got worse when she jabbed some of those tendrils into his side, probably turning some of his organs into mince. "You and your friend are just right," Ken heard Rize say in a sickeningly lilting tone as she approached through a haze of pain and shock. "Not really fatty, not that muscular…just right. Tender and juicy and oh so yummy…huh?"

Suddenly, as if a bolt of divine retribution from above, a number of steel girders suddenly crashed down on top of Rize, flattening her. Before the pain and the darkness of what was going to be oblivion took him, Ken smiled a painful grin. "That one…was for Hide…you bitch…Asaki…Ryoko…Hinami…Touka…I'm sorry…"

And then, darkness claimed him.

* * *

He was surprised he woke up. He had vague, feverish recollections of words, sentences. Of a man saying he'd use 'her' organs. That he'd take responsibility. The beeps of an ECG. Pain. Warmth. Fever. The feeling of a woman's arms around him, her breasts pressed into her back

And then, he awoke. In pain, feeling a haze full of drugs, but he was alive.

But something was different. He couldn't define it, not at first. Aside from the loss he felt at Hide dying (the nurse reluctantly confirmed it when he asked), which was bad enough, and the feeling that he hadn't got there fast enough…the guilt, the horrible guilt, and the fact that he probably worried his family and friends. But he couldn't define what happened that was different.

It wasn't until sometime later, when, after he was declared well enough to try and eat some food, he tried it. But…it didn't taste good. And not just by the standards of hospital food.

The fish tasted…well, fishy. Not appetising, just…awful. The miso soup tasted like some kind of machine oil. Tofu tasted like rancid lard. Rice was like paste glue. Hospital food was bad, true, but it was never this abysmal.

It was on his third attempt at eating the fish, and struggling to keep it down, that the notion came to him. He remembered what his family and friends said that some foods tasted like. How Ghouls perceived some foods.

And when he asked the surgeon who'd helped him, Dr Kanou, what he did, he got his answer. The kindly-looking doctor said he had transplanted Rize's organs into him to save his life.

It took every ounce of composure for Ken to not break down then and there. Instead, he waited until Kanou left. He began laughing, not in joy or mirth, but rather, sheer despair and denial and anger. A catharsis of mixed emotions. Laughter soon sublimated into sobs, his head in his hands.

There was a bitter irony in this, he supposed, even if he couldn't be certain. A few times, once he was used to Ghouls, he'd wonder what it was like to be in their shoes. Well, he should've been careful what he wished for, lest he got it…

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, a fairly different Ken has been Ghoulified. And unfortunately, Hide's copped it. Sorry, Hide fans. But will Ken be able to cope with being Ghoulified better, now that he's been raised by them?**

 **No numbered annotations this time.**


	39. Ken Fueguchi Chapter 2

_**KEN FUEGUCHI**_

 **CHAPTER 2:**

 **COMING TO TERMS**

It took a few weeks before he was discharged from the hospital. In that time, he wasn't allowed any visitors, though he had a few worried texts from the Fueguchis, Touka, and Yoshimura. He sent some back, saying he would explain once he got back home.

And there was, of course, the pain of losing Hide. The sight of Rize standing over his mutilated body was something that would be forever etched into his memory. If only he had gotten there sooner, then Hide may still be alive. His oldest friend…gone. The sad thing was, he felt not so much guilt as much as a bleak emptiness in his soul where the bond he used to have with Hide was.

His father picked him up from the hospital, and they drove back home in silence. Even so, Ken was worried. His fears about becoming a Ghoul had only worsened over time, as he didn't truly feel hungry, and the food began tasting worse and worse, even making him vomit recently.

They got back to the Fueguchi home, and he was instantly embraced by Ryoko and Hinami, told how much he was missed by them. Eventually, Hinami was sent to bed, and Ken was left with his adoptive parents. After a long, awkward silence, he asked, "Do you have any…meat? Of the sort you eat? If so, could you bring it out?"

Asaki and Ryoka looked at each other, before the former went to the fridge and brought out a lump of meat. It looked like almost any raw meat one could get at a supermarket or a butcher's, but Ken knew that it was human meat. But the smell…oh God, the smell…it was the most heavenly thing he had smelt for a long time, like his mother's cooking.

As he stared at the meat, Ryoka gasped in horror. "Ken, your eye! You have a _kakugan!_ "

He looked up at her, and then looked into a nearby mirror, and stared. His left eye showed the distinctive black sclera and red iris of a _kakugan_. He began to pant hard and fast, before saying, "Please, take it away now!"

"Ken, what happened? We know you ended up nearly getting killed with Rize and your friend Hide around, but…" Asaki began.

"You don't understand! That damned doctor put Rize's organs into me! I haven't been able to eat any hospital food! I…I…"

"Don't want to eat it…I understand," Asaki said quietly, as Ryoko got up and went around to Ken, gently rubbing his back. "But…we've told you what a Ghoul's hunger is like. How awful it is. If you don't eat human flesh soon…you'll become a rabid animal, unable to reason or be reasoned with. Though how you actually became a Ghoul…it can't be as simple as implanting some organs. Who was your doctor again?"

"…He called himself Dr Kanou."

"That sounds familiar," Asaki mused, before shaking his head. "Ken…I'm sorry. I really am. But, if you really have become a Ghoul…"

Ryoko snapped, "Asaki! He's gone through enough! Hideyoshi is dead, Rize's organs are in him…can he at least sleep on it?"

Asaki nodded, running a hand through his hair. "Sorry, yes, of course." He took the human meat away and put it back into the fridge. "Ken, we're here for you. All of us are. So's Yoshimura and Touka, I'm sure. You know that because you're a part-Ghoul doesn't mean we think any less of you…"

* * *

Ken's sleep that night was haunted by nightmares, of Hide's mutilated body coming back to life and accusing him of not doing enough to save him, of Touka and Yoshimura and his family turning their backs on him, calling him a half-breed, of Rize's crazed cackling…and then, he ended up being attacked by a Dove with a briefcase. It was by that point he woke with a cry. For want of anything better to do, he went into the kitchen. Ryoko was bustling around, making coffee already. She turned and looked at him, and smiled, her eyes looking bloodshot. "Did you sleep alright, Ken?"

He shook his head mutely. Unbidden, he went over to the fridge, and plucked out the lump of meat again, tears trickling down his face. He then went and fetched some utensils, went to the table, and sat down, the meat in front of him. Slowly, ponderously, he began cutting it up, before he speared a small part of it on his fork. He stared at the crimson lump, knowing he stood on the edge of a precipice, and by doing this small act, he would forever go down the path of being a Ghoul.

It felt like an eternity, but it took seconds. Long seconds, longer than anyone should linger with a piece of meat on their fork, but seconds all the same. Ken had been around Ghouls for almost half of his life by now. He knew better than almost any non-Ghoul that Ghouls could be every bit as moral as the best human being. Indeed, they weren't monsters, merely humans who were afflicted with a cursed hunger. The Fueguchis had shown him more love than his relatives. Indeed, he remembered times when his birth mother abused him, times he wanted to forget, because his birth mother was a good person, a decent person, in spite of that. Those were isolated incidents, as far as he was concerned. But Ryoko never did that.

True, many Ghouls were monsters, like Rize, or Aogiri Tree. But not all of them were. Being a monster was a choice, and Ken Fueguchi chose to not be a monster. He would eat human flesh, and if need be, he would kill to eat, if only they were criminals like those Asaki or Touka targeted. But he would not kill just to eat, kill for the sake of killing.

With that, he put the fork in his mouth, and the morsel impaled on it came along with it.

It's like the flavour exploded in his mouth. It was so juicy and tender and nice, an indefinable flavour that nonetheless was the epitome of pleasant taste. He chewed and swallowed hastily, his desire to savour it losing out to his Ghoul's hunger to have more MORE _MORE!_

Pretty soon, the human meat on the plate in front of him was gone, leaving only a bloody smear, and with it, the terrible hunger he was feeling. Ken was weeping slightly. He didn't quite notice that Ryoko had come over until she was gently embracing him. "It's okay, it's okay…you're not any less my son, Ken. You're not a monster. Never think that. It's your hunger that's monstrous, not you…"

He realised she was weeping too, her tears soaking his shirt. And so, he returned her embrace…

* * *

After some discussion with his parents, Ken decided to head to Anteiku. Leaving aside the fact that both Yoshimura and Touka had left messages for him (apparently they hadn't even been allowed to send flowers to the hospital room he was in), Ken actually felt well enough to head to work. He was also worried about university. Of course, getting involved in a Ghoul attack and spending three weeks recovering from a transplant would get him some leeway, but still…

He got there, and found Touka waiting for him, a mixture of impatience and sympathy on her face. "Jeez, you look like death warmed up. I mean, more than usual. Ken, are you all right? I couldn't come in to see you."

"…I'm not all right. Listen…is Yoshimura here?"

"Yeah. Koma's off sick, so it's a good thing you came here. Though you don't look so hot. Are you sure you should be here? Ken, I don't want you going the same way as your mother…wait…why do you smell…almost like a Ghoul?"

"I'll explain it when we're with Yoshimura…"

* * *

Touka, to her credit, looked horrified, and Yoshimura looked saddened, once Ken had explained what happened. The older Ghoul said, "I suspected this happened, when I heard about what happened on the news, and joined the dots about what happened to Rize, even if I didn't think this…hybridisation would occur. I'm sorry about your friend, I truly am. I didn't realise that she was dating Hide, or else I may have found a way to warn him. And I'm sorry for your plight."

"Shit…that's a tough break," Touka said quietly. "Are you all right, Ken? No, of course you aren't, that's a stupid question." The young Ghoul sat down next to him and hugged him. She wasn't much of a hugger, usually, but Touka realised how serious the situation was.

After a moment's silence, Yoshimura broke it by saying, "Still, at least you've taken what would doubtlessly have been the hardest step, and fed. A Ghoul's hunger is hellish. Then again, you've lived amongst us for nearly a decade, and you know us better than most humans. We are here for you, Ken. Don't believe that you don't belong in either world. Even before this happened to you, you were a bridge between our worlds. A light of hope for those of us who wish for co-existence. All that has changed is your nature. Not what makes up Ken Kaneki. Listen, if you do not wish to work today, Touka and I can handle it. Aside from your change, there is, of course, your friend Hide…"

"No," Ken said, shaking his head. "I…I need to do this, to try and do something normal. It's what I need to do, to cope with all this. Please…"

"…Very well. However, I'd suggest wearing an eyepatch, Ken. A few times during the conversation, a _kakugan_ appeared in your left eye. I believe we have one in our first aid kit. We don't want your secret coming out to the wrong people. I'll go and fetch one."

After the old Ghoul left, Ken leaned into Touka. "Touka…thank you."

"Someone's got to look after you," she said quietly. "I know what you're like, Ken. You're as gentle as Ryoko and Hinami. I'm surprised you had the guts to eat human flesh so soon. And besides, as much as Hideyoshi irritated me, I know he was your friend. He deserved better than being killed by that bitch. And you deserve better than…well, _this_."

"If I was caught associating with you guys, I would've been prosecuted by the CCG anyway, assuming that a Dove didn't kill me outright," Ken said. "I was still in danger, even as a human." He chuckled bleakly. "In a way, a small part of me is glad, if only because I know what it's like now to be like you, to know all the downsides of being a Ghoul. Because it means I can understand your pain properly, how difficult it is just to live with that hunger you have. But…I'll miss being able to have a hamburger steak at Big Girl's, or try Yoriko's cooking. She was a really good cook, you know, and I have to fake enjoying it now. I'll miss having chocolate. I'll miss all those tastes normal humans take for granted." He shook his head. "I'm sorry for sounding so depressing."

"You'd better be. But seriously…I'm sorry for you. Listen…next day off we both have, we're both heading to Uta's in the 4th Ward. If both Rize and Jason have kicked up a fuss here, the Doves are probably going to start sniffing around, and you'll need a mask. I'll also take you out on patrol later tonight. Rize forced her way onto some other people's feeding grounds, and I know a few people will be fighting over it, including Nishiki."

"Nishiki?" The name sounded familiar to Ken for some reason.

"He goes to Kamii University, just like you and Hideyoshi did. I think he's a pharmaceutical student."

"Oh, wait, I know him…well, I know his name. Hide mentioned him a few times as a friend of his," Ken said. "Nishiki Nishio, right?"

"Right. Though I'd put money on Nishiki having considered Hideyoshi as potential prey," Touka said. "Nishiki may not be as monstrous as Rize, but he's pretty violent and vicious, and has an overinflated opinion of himself. I heard he has a human girlfriend, though. I'll have to start getting you up to speed in how to fight, too, see if I can find a way to get you to use your _kagune_ at will. Between Doves and other Ghouls, you'll need it."

Ken nodded, rather miserably. "Thanks, Touka."

"Look, someone's got to look after you, like I said. And this way, you can help protect Hinami, right?"

Ken nodded again, his spirits buoyed a little at the thought of his little sister. Yes…becoming a Ghoul had that as an upside, at least. His sister was a good girl, one who was cursed by fate to have a monstrous hunger for human flesh. She didn't want to kill people. And if a Dove came for her, she'd be easy prey. Ken despaired of protecting her then. But now, maybe, just maybe, he could help defend her from a world that wanted her dead. And maybe he could do the same for the others here at Anteiku…

 **CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Ken, thanks to his family and friends, has come to terms with being a Ghoul far more quickly than in canon. Plus, he actually has more incentive to get stronger as a Ghoul: protecting Hinami.**

 **No numbered annotations this time.**


End file.
